DShomshak

Last night's episode of the public radio program 1A gave a history of political polarization. The historian interviewed argues that this didn't just happen. Republican leaders deliberately stoked culture war grievance to win elections. Newt Gingrich proved it worked: Under his leadership, Republicans took the House for the first time in decades. Pat Buchanan worked out the playbook of saying that Dems weren't just people with different opinions but enemies of God out to destroy all that was patriotic and good. And it's worked for them.
 
Sen. Lindsay Graham, following Obama's victory in 2008, joined many Republicans in saying they needed a new strategy because "We can't make angry white men fast enough." Mitch McConnel and Donald Trump have proved he was wrong and he's back with the program.
 
Saying they fought monsters, the Republican leadership has become monsters, and taught their base to be the same. Now they are trapped in their own culture war. Dems, fighting back, have become monsters too. They aren't as bad, though, because they are less competent and organized. Still, this does not end well. I don't think anyone has any way left to back down. The demographics are moving inexorably against conservatives/Republicans... unless they lock in so many advantages that elections cease to matter. But geography works against Democrats as their base concentrates in big cities and culturally moves away from the rest of the population.
 
The only hope I see is with the Municipals that the Fallowes' described in Our Towns. If they organized, they might have enough clout to bring the parties to heel and return government to practical tasks.
 
Dean Shomshak

Last night's episode of the public radio program 1A gave a history of political polarization. The historian interviewed argues that this didn't just happen. Republican leaders deliberately stoked culture war grievance to win elections. Newt Gingrich proved it worked: Under his leadership, Republicans took the House for the first time in decades. Pat Buchanan worked out the playbook of saying that Dems weren't just people with different opinions but enemies of God out to destroy all that was patriotic and good. And it's worked for them.
 
Sen. Lindsay Graham, following Obama's victory in 2008, joined many Republicans in saying they needed a new strategy because "We can't make angry white men fast enough." Mitch McConnel and Donald Trump have proved he was wrong and he's back with the program.
 
Saying they fought monsters, the Republican leadership has become monsters, and taught their base to be the same. Now they are trapped in their own culture war. Dems, fighting back, have become monsters too. They aren't as bad, though, because they are less competent and organized. Still, this does not end well. I don't think anyone has any way left to back down. The demographics are moving inexorably against conservatives/Republicans... unless they lock in so many advantages that elections cease to matter. But geography works against Democrats as their base concentrates in big cities and culturally moves away from the rest of the population.
 
The only hope I see is with the Municipals that the Fallowes' described in Our Towns. If they organized, they might have enough clout to bring the parties to heel and return government to practical tasks.
 
Dean Shomshak

I recommend listening to the Oct. 2, 2028 episode of the public radio program Fresh Air. The guest is Michael Lewis (Liar's Poker, The Big Short, Moneyball), talking about his latest book, The Fifth Risk. It's about what the Trump administration is doing to the boring Cabinet departments that people don't think about much, such as Commerce and Energy. Lewis has reported on this for a year now (the magazine Vanity Fair was mentioned). Now he pulls it together.
 
Lewis' argument, in a nutshell, is that much of what government does is manage risks that no individual, company or lesser body could do much about. Many of them are long-term and diffuse, such as climate change or weather events, so many people don't even think of them. What government does to manage these risks therefore goes unnoticed. And now it's all in the hands of a man who never thought he needed to know how government works, appointing people who are equally ignorant or actively hostile -- when he appoints them at all.
 
Lewis ends with an anecdote about a woman he met who wished for years that a tornado would come and just rip away this decrepit old barn on her property. It finally happened. But... "I didn't think it would also take the house." A lesson for all those people who want to get rid of the "deep state," when they don't even know what it does.
 
Dean Shomshak

An important point I forgot to mention. Thanks for covering it!
 
Dean Shomshak

Heard on the radio today: First evidence of an exomoon. Estimated to be the size of Neptune, orbiting a planet the size of Jupiter. First clues sifted from Kepler data; more obtained from Hubble; but the astronomers say they need more Hubble observation time to be sure.
 
Heard on the radio yesterday: A trans-Neptunian object dubbed "The Goblin" strengthens the case for a Ninth Planet that's deflecting TNOs into bizarre orbits. IIRC, the Goblin's orbital period is 40,000 years, and it never comes closer to the Sun than about twice Pluto's orbit.
 
Sep. 22, 2018 issue of The Economist has an article on experiments to see if antimatter has negative gravity. That is, will it fall up instead of down? Most physicists are pretty sure it won't, but they need to find some way that antimatter is not the perfect opposite of normal matter. According to current theories, the Big Bang should have produced matter and antimatter equally, which should have annihilated each other just as quickly. The existence of the Universe represents a significant experimental error.\ that requires explanation. The technical challenges of testing the gravitational properties of antimatter are... extreme.
 
Dean Shomshak

The Cruelty Is the Point
 

In this spirit, I'd like to stress that my speculations about Republican and Democrat motives and methods refer only to the national parties, especially Congress. I would like once again to recommend Our Towns, by James and Deborah Fallowes. They found a whole parallel United States of America of municipalities in which it's hard to tell the self-styled conservative Republicans from self-styled liberal Democrats. Or in the case of Burlington, Vermont, the Socialists. They are solving real problems without turning everything into a culture war knife fight in an alley.
 
I want to live in that USA instead. I don't doubt the rest of the world would prefer it as well.
 
Dean Shomshak

As part of its coverage of the Kavanaugh hearings, the public radio program All Things Considered asked a former FBI agent whether Prof. Ford's allegation could be investigated, given the paucity of details. He said that yes, there's plenty the FBI could investigate to find whether Ford's claim is plausible or not. As Ternaugh mentions, other people are already doing some of this: Interviewing people who knew either of them, any documentary evidence from that time (such as yearbooks), and so on.
 
Such evidence probably could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Kavanaugh committed the assault. But this is not a criminal trial. It is merely enough to find sufficient evidence that Ford's allegation has a strong likelihood of being correct.
 
So, why does it matter? What does Kavanaugh's conduct in high school and college have to do with his skill at legal reasoning?
 
Nothing, directly. But if it can be shown that he's probably lying about sexual assault -- the more his squeaky-clean image can be shown to be a fraud -- well, the less he looks like a high-minded, sincere legal scholar and the more he looks like a squalid political hack being put on the court to advance a squalid political agenda. That he cannot be trusted to judge cases fairly.
 
Republican senators may decide they want their five reliable conservative justices so badly they don't care about political blowback from voters. Possibly they imagine that they'll have won so completely that voters won't matter anymore.
 
Democrats, meanwhile, are rather obviously trying to run out the clock in a long-shot hope that they can delay appointment of a replacement Supreme Court justice until after the midterm elections, and maybe they will control the Senate then. If they do, they refuse to confirm Kavanaugh or any other Trump appointee, using the Republicans' refusal to confirm Merrick Garland as their precedent. Then they hope that in 2020 they can take the White House and keep the Senate, and ram through whatever nominees they want.
 
Neither side is acting from high principle here. This is politics as knife fighting.
 
Dean Shomshak

The Judiciary Act of 1869 set the number of Supreme court judges to 9, but it started out at 5 and has gone as high as 10 in the past. The number could be changed by Congress, but that's unlikely.
 
https://www.livescience.com/9857-9-supreme-court-justices.html
 
FDR did attempt to have the law changed, after the Court overturned several provisions of his New Deal legislation. He wanted the President to have the right to appoint an extra judge for every member of the Supreme Court who refused to retire after age 70, for a total of up to 15 Justices. FDR's "court packing plan" was ultimately defeated by members of his own party.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judicial_Procedures_Reform_Bill_of_1937

You're not alone.  I actively campaigned for "Giant Meteor" in 2016.

I can see your point about Kavanaugh's reaction. But what was striking to me, and what may have made an impact on the viewing public, was the contrast between his demeanor and Ford's. While Ford was clearly very emotional (understandably), she was coherent, articulate, and answered every question clearly and forthrightly. While Kavanaugh's responses to questions were rambling, evasive, accusatory, and repetitive. Remember that this person with that thought process is in consideration to be entrusted with assessing the most serious legal issues facing the United States for many years to come.
 
Most worrisome to me was Kavanaugh's opening statement, in which he literally blamed an alliance of Democrats and "leftists" for conspiring to smear his good name. That's the kind of conspiracy-theory rhetoric we get a lot from arch-conservatives in America today, which makes me wonder what degree of bias he'll actually bring with him to the bench, particularly toward any future legislation which may be crafted by those same Democrats he blames for his current woes.

Dust storms seen on Titan
 
The place seems more like home all the time.  Too bad the rocks are water.

After the way you caricatured and exaggerated what I said, I find this funny.
 
I read in the paper this morning that Kavanaugh has tiptoed a little in the direction I suggested..
 
"'I drank beer with my friends, usually on weekends. Sometimes I had too many. In retrospect, I said and did things in high school that make me cringe now.,' Kavanaugh planned to tell the committee, according to prepared remarks released by the committee Wednesday. 'But that's not why we are here today. What I've been accused of is far more serious than juvenile misbehavior.'" (New York Times, reprinted in my local paper)
 
Indeed, sexual assault goes far beyond "juvenile misbehavior." But it's not just about what Kavanaugh did in high school. It's about his character now. He has now admitted that the past portrayal of him as such a perfect young man, ever treading the upward path, was a lie. When you endorse a lie, that makes you a liar too. And that makes the accusations against Kavanaugh more credible, at least to me.
 
Let's try this, as an example of what someone seeking high office might try when backers portray them as perfect plaster saints:  "I thank the President for that extremely flattering portrayal. It's the man I have tried to be. I admit, it's a work in progress. Back in high school I had, well, problems. Sometimes I drank -- way too much. I remember saying and doing things that now make me cringe. I can only hope that I didn't say or do anything that caused anyone lasting harm. If I did, I cannot apologize enough. I thank God that I learned better. It has made me both more forgiving of others, and eager to help others lead better lives. I hope this committee gives me the chance to bring that spirit of compassion and helping others to the Supreme Court, because as a judge I have striven always to remember that the law is not just some abstract system of rules. It's about people's lives."
 
Okay, that came out a bit unctuous, but, well, politics. It may seem paradoxical, but I wonder if such an early concession of imperfection might not have blunted the force of attacks. Confessed imperfection can bend under attack where brittle perfection would break.
 
Dean Shomshak

As part of its coverage of the Kavanaugh hearings, the public radio program All Things Considered asked a former FBI agent whether Prof. Ford's allegation could be investigated, given the paucity of details. He said that yes, there's plenty the FBI could investigate to find whether Ford's claim is plausible or not. As Ternaugh mentions, other people are already doing some of this: Interviewing people who knew either of them, any documentary evidence from that time (such as yearbooks), and so on.
 
Such evidence probably could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Kavanaugh committed the assault. But this is not a criminal trial. It is merely enough to find sufficient evidence that Ford's allegation has a strong likelihood of being correct.
 
So, why does it matter? What does Kavanaugh's conduct in high school and college have to do with his skill at legal reasoning?
 
Nothing, directly. But if it can be shown that he's probably lying about sexual assault -- the more his squeaky-clean image can be shown to be a fraud -- well, the less he looks like a high-minded, sincere legal scholar and the more he looks like a squalid political hack being put on the court to advance a squalid political agenda. That he cannot be trusted to judge cases fairly.
 
Republican senators may decide they want their five reliable conservative justices so badly they don't care about political blowback from voters. Possibly they imagine that they'll have won so completely that voters won't matter anymore.
 
Democrats, meanwhile, are rather obviously trying to run out the clock in a long-shot hope that they can delay appointment of a replacement Supreme Court justice until after the midterm elections, and maybe they will control the Senate then. If they do, they refuse to confirm Kavanaugh or any other Trump appointee, using the Republicans' refusal to confirm Merrick Garland as their precedent. Then they hope that in 2020 they can take the White House and keep the Senate, and ram through whatever nominees they want.
 
Neither side is acting from high principle here. This is politics as knife fighting.
 
Dean Shomshak

In this spirit, I'd like to stress that my speculations about Republican and Democrat motives and methods refer only to the national parties, especially Congress. I would like once again to recommend Our Towns, by James and Deborah Fallowes. They found a whole parallel United States of America of municipalities in which it's hard to tell the self-styled conservative Republicans from self-styled liberal Democrats. Or in the case of Burlington, Vermont, the Socialists. They are solving real problems without turning everything into a culture war knife fight in an alley.
 
I want to live in that USA instead. I don't doubt the rest of the world would prefer it as well.
 
Dean Shomshak

In this spirit, I'd like to stress that my speculations about Republican and Democrat motives and methods refer only to the national parties, especially Congress. I would like once again to recommend Our Towns, by James and Deborah Fallowes. They found a whole parallel United States of America of municipalities in which it's hard to tell the self-styled conservative Republicans from self-styled liberal Democrats. Or in the case of Burlington, Vermont, the Socialists. They are solving real problems without turning everything into a culture war knife fight in an alley.
 
I want to live in that USA instead. I don't doubt the rest of the world would prefer it as well.
 
Dean Shomshak

After the way you caricatured and exaggerated what I said, I find this funny.
 
I read in the paper this morning that Kavanaugh has tiptoed a little in the direction I suggested..
 
"'I drank beer with my friends, usually on weekends. Sometimes I had too many. In retrospect, I said and did things in high school that make me cringe now.,' Kavanaugh planned to tell the committee, according to prepared remarks released by the committee Wednesday. 'But that's not why we are here today. What I've been accused of is far more serious than juvenile misbehavior.'" (New York Times, reprinted in my local paper)
 
Indeed, sexual assault goes far beyond "juvenile misbehavior." But it's not just about what Kavanaugh did in high school. It's about his character now. He has now admitted that the past portrayal of him as such a perfect young man, ever treading the upward path, was a lie. When you endorse a lie, that makes you a liar too. And that makes the accusations against Kavanaugh more credible, at least to me.
 
Let's try this, as an example of what someone seeking high office might try when backers portray them as perfect plaster saints:  "I thank the President for that extremely flattering portrayal. It's the man I have tried to be. I admit, it's a work in progress. Back in high school I had, well, problems. Sometimes I drank -- way too much. I remember saying and doing things that now make me cringe. I can only hope that I didn't say or do anything that caused anyone lasting harm. If I did, I cannot apologize enough. I thank God that I learned better. It has made me both more forgiving of others, and eager to help others lead better lives. I hope this committee gives me the chance to bring that spirit of compassion and helping others to the Supreme Court, because as a judge I have striven always to remember that the law is not just some abstract system of rules. It's about people's lives."
 
Okay, that came out a bit unctuous, but, well, politics. It may seem paradoxical, but I wonder if such an early concession of imperfection might not have blunted the force of attacks. Confessed imperfection can bend under attack where brittle perfection would break.
 
Dean Shomshak

As part of its coverage of the Kavanaugh hearings, the public radio program All Things Considered asked a former FBI agent whether Prof. Ford's allegation could be investigated, given the paucity of details. He said that yes, there's plenty the FBI could investigate to find whether Ford's claim is plausible or not. As Ternaugh mentions, other people are already doing some of this: Interviewing people who knew either of them, any documentary evidence from that time (such as yearbooks), and so on.
 
Such evidence probably could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Kavanaugh committed the assault. But this is not a criminal trial. It is merely enough to find sufficient evidence that Ford's allegation has a strong likelihood of being correct.
 
So, why does it matter? What does Kavanaugh's conduct in high school and college have to do with his skill at legal reasoning?
 
Nothing, directly. But if it can be shown that he's probably lying about sexual assault -- the more his squeaky-clean image can be shown to be a fraud -- well, the less he looks like a high-minded, sincere legal scholar and the more he looks like a squalid political hack being put on the court to advance a squalid political agenda. That he cannot be trusted to judge cases fairly.
 
Republican senators may decide they want their five reliable conservative justices so badly they don't care about political blowback from voters. Possibly they imagine that they'll have won so completely that voters won't matter anymore.
 
Democrats, meanwhile, are rather obviously trying to run out the clock in a long-shot hope that they can delay appointment of a replacement Supreme Court justice until after the midterm elections, and maybe they will control the Senate then. If they do, they refuse to confirm Kavanaugh or any other Trump appointee, using the Republicans' refusal to confirm Merrick Garland as their precedent. Then they hope that in 2020 they can take the White House and keep the Senate, and ram through whatever nominees they want.
 
Neither side is acting from high principle here. This is politics as knife fighting.
 
Dean Shomshak

Honestly, this Kavanaugh thing is ridiculous. This is not a sex assault trial. It's a hiring committee. You're looking at a candidate for one of the best, and most tenure-protected jobs on Earth. It's okay to red-flag a CV! that is, and I cannot emphasise this enough, how hiring committees work.
. . .
It was also so completely avoidable. The Federalist Society maintains a fully investigated, cleared a short list of 10 members of America's obscenely narrow list of papabile, conservative Supreme Court candidates for just this reason, and expanded it to 20 at the President's request. (I bet that it would be a much better list if they were allowed to include graduates from historically conservative schools, but t that's just my wild ass theorising.) Kavanaugh did not make the short list, or the long list, and while there might be other reasons for that, it was no secret that he was a hard-drinking 80s frat bro. If I were the Federalist Society, I'd have excluded him, too! 
 
So my advice to the Senate Judicial Committee is, "Do what any hiring committee would do." You had hearings. You found a problem with the candidate. It doesn't have to rise to "no reasonable doubt" standards, because you're not trying to decide whether Kavanaugh belongs in jail. You're trying to decide whether he would be better at the job than a member of the 20 person long short list that came in above him. The answer to that would seem to be, by definition, "No." At this point, the Committee is basically going to the country with the argument, that "We owe this guy a job." And, just to be clear, America does not. Owe. Him. A. Job. .  

As part of its coverage of the Kavanaugh hearings, the public radio program All Things Considered asked a former FBI agent whether Prof. Ford's allegation could be investigated, given the paucity of details. He said that yes, there's plenty the FBI could investigate to find whether Ford's claim is plausible or not. As Ternaugh mentions, other people are already doing some of this: Interviewing people who knew either of them, any documentary evidence from that time (such as yearbooks), and so on.
 
Such evidence probably could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Kavanaugh committed the assault. But this is not a criminal trial. It is merely enough to find sufficient evidence that Ford's allegation has a strong likelihood of being correct.
 
So, why does it matter? What does Kavanaugh's conduct in high school and college have to do with his skill at legal reasoning?
 
Nothing, directly. But if it can be shown that he's probably lying about sexual assault -- the more his squeaky-clean image can be shown to be a fraud -- well, the less he looks like a high-minded, sincere legal scholar and the more he looks like a squalid political hack being put on the court to advance a squalid political agenda. That he cannot be trusted to judge cases fairly.
 
Republican senators may decide they want their five reliable conservative justices so badly they don't care about political blowback from voters. Possibly they imagine that they'll have won so completely that voters won't matter anymore.
 
Democrats, meanwhile, are rather obviously trying to run out the clock in a long-shot hope that they can delay appointment of a replacement Supreme Court justice until after the midterm elections, and maybe they will control the Senate then. If they do, they refuse to confirm Kavanaugh or any other Trump appointee, using the Republicans' refusal to confirm Merrick Garland as their precedent. Then they hope that in 2020 they can take the White House and keep the Senate, and ram through whatever nominees they want.
 
Neither side is acting from high principle here. This is politics as knife fighting.
 
Dean Shomshak

As part of its coverage of the Kavanaugh hearings, the public radio program All Things Considered asked a former FBI agent whether Prof. Ford's allegation could be investigated, given the paucity of details. He said that yes, there's plenty the FBI could investigate to find whether Ford's claim is plausible or not. As Ternaugh mentions, other people are already doing some of this: Interviewing people who knew either of them, any documentary evidence from that time (such as yearbooks), and so on.
 
Such evidence probably could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Kavanaugh committed the assault. But this is not a criminal trial. It is merely enough to find sufficient evidence that Ford's allegation has a strong likelihood of being correct.
 
So, why does it matter? What does Kavanaugh's conduct in high school and college have to do with his skill at legal reasoning?
 
Nothing, directly. But if it can be shown that he's probably lying about sexual assault -- the more his squeaky-clean image can be shown to be a fraud -- well, the less he looks like a high-minded, sincere legal scholar and the more he looks like a squalid political hack being put on the court to advance a squalid political agenda. That he cannot be trusted to judge cases fairly.
 
Republican senators may decide they want their five reliable conservative justices so badly they don't care about political blowback from voters. Possibly they imagine that they'll have won so completely that voters won't matter anymore.
 
Democrats, meanwhile, are rather obviously trying to run out the clock in a long-shot hope that they can delay appointment of a replacement Supreme Court justice until after the midterm elections, and maybe they will control the Senate then. If they do, they refuse to confirm Kavanaugh or any other Trump appointee, using the Republicans' refusal to confirm Merrick Garland as their precedent. Then they hope that in 2020 they can take the White House and keep the Senate, and ram through whatever nominees they want.
 
Neither side is acting from high principle here. This is politics as knife fighting.
 
Dean Shomshak

In this regard, I recommend The Drawing of the Dark by Tim Powers. Arthurian fantasy set during the Siege of Vienna. The Fisher King is also involved, along with the oldest brewery in the world. These elements are all related.
 
Dean Shomshak

The Gnomes showed the prince to a cave that offered some shelter, showed him how to make a fire to keep away the beasts and cook the food they brought to  him, and the more they looked upon him, the more they found him fair and wished to care for him.
 
And as for the queen, the prince's mother, when it became obvious that the prince was somehow lost (for the king had been clever and none had seen the prince depart) she grew ill with grief - although some whispered that the king was slowly poisoning her, for despite his fair face there were those who grew suspicious of him. Just as a corpse left in a closet will reveal itself by the stench given time, a foul heart will become known whatever cheery and pious face is put on it. The wicked king put it about that the lost prince must have been carried away by Gnomes, and for fear of offending him people pretended to believe that - although some muttered that the king had probably called up the Gnomes with his wicked arts and bid them to bear the boy away. For, too, it had been noted by some how many of the books the king had added to the royal library were upon thaumaturgical subjects, and in fact he was a dabbler in such things.
 
And so it was that when the queen at last passed away, between those who loved him for his fair face and charming manners, and those who feared him, there was none to oppose the wicked king even though by the kingdom's laws he was not in line to inherit, having sired no child upon the queen. Soon he delighted the knights by frequent tournaments and jousts, and enriched the armorers by setting them busily to crafting weapons, and disturbed the church by drawing away stonemasons who had been at work on a new cathedral and sending them to border outposts to make and repair fortifications. And he brought worry to many who noted that these are the acts of a monarch planning for war.
 
But a guilty heart is never at peace, and the time came when he went into a certain secret chamber to consult the brazen head that he had long used as his oracle and advisor. Carefully he lit and placed the candles and the incense, and chanted the spell that would awaken the brazen head, and asked "What most threatens my power? Tell me so that I may move to defend myself and eliminate the threat."
 
And the thing of brass spoke in a voice of brass to say "Were the True King found again, noble and peasant alike would rise against you to enthrone him."
 
"What 'True king'?" asked the king, "am not I the truest king in this land?"
 
"It is not crown and throne that makes a king" said the brazen head, "But a land's laws, and by the law, the queen's son became king upon her death."
 
At this the wicked king grew wrathful, for he knew now that Prince Comely yet lived. "I had thought that one dead" said the king, "I must kill him myself this time! Who is hiding him?"
 
"Seven little women of the woodlands," said the brazen head, "liar though you are, you have told the truth by accident; he is hidden and protected by Gnomes."
 
And now the king added to the incense the dried herb that would make the brazen head sleep again, for he thought he knew all he needed now. And calling for the woman he had meant for the prince's assassin, he declared that she would lead him to where she had last seen the beautiful young man. "I swore never to speak of that" she said, "Would you have me be forsworn now?" But soon she was persuaded, and played along as the king announced to the court that he meant to venture in the forest, with but a single companion "For I would not wish to risk more lives than I must," in order to "find the Gnomes who are holding our beloved Prince, and rescue him, or if they have already done with him, return his mortal remains for proper royal burial!" He intended no such thing of course, but as few could imagine his true intention, he was roundly cheered for what he said.
 
And so it was the king and his minion, two along but well supplied, went abroad in the wilderness. And in her heart the woodswoman was thinking "Again I go into the forest with a royal person, and if I have my way, again I will emerge alone." For gold may buy bloody deeds, and even silence, but gold will not buy love, and this woman had no love for the king she obeyed, but only a fear that he would slay her if he learned she had not killed the prince with her own hands. And great as the fear was a rage against him for sending her to kill an Innocent, and a rage at herself for she held herself guilty of the prince's blood.
 
She was able to find the spot she had last seen the prince, and she searched for his bones but found none of course. The king meanwhile was looking about for Gnomes, but such are more often sought than seen; I doubt you can claim to have seen one, but I would not be surprised if more than one Gnome has seen you while you remained ignorant of their presence. When she at last confessed that she could find no trace of the prince, the king drew his sword and said "Then your use to me is ended. And I know you lied about killing the prince. Somewhere in this wilderness he yet lives, and I shall find him well enough without your assistance."
 
And she drew her knife, a good sturdy blade but no equal to a king's sword, and grinned fiercely and said "If only I could believe that the Innocent Man does live! But you ordered him killed and I, I left him to die here and his bones have been scattered by the forest beasts. Whichever of us kills the other, I am content!"
 
The king strode towards his erstwhile minion swiftly and deliberately, but a little woman rose from the grass and seized his ankle, causing him to fall. six more such little women leaped from unsuspected hiding places and belabored him with sticks, then scattered before he could get his hands under himself to rise up. The woodswoman merely gaped, for she had never suspected the clearing to be full of Gnomes. One of the Gnomes urged the woodswoman to run, saying "Come, let us away from this horrible person!" and the rest fled in a body in a different direction. The king rose and in his confusion, went crashing through the woods in yet another direction that he imagined the Gnomes to have gone in, thinking this would lead him to his true quarry, the missing prince.
 
And, just as a liar may tell the truth by accident, so his error led him to what he desired, for he broke free into a clearing just as the lovely young man was entering it to gather up some of the wildflowers, helping the Gnomes - for it is their business, among other things, to take the brilliant colors out of flowers and take those hues under the ground to hide them away to become gemstones. He wore a garment of the broad leaves of many trees, cleverly sewn together by the Gnomes with threads woven of spider web, but the wicked king knew who it was for surely no one else could have made that outlandish outfit seem so beautiful. The king drew his sword, and noted that the young man still bore the sword he had carried when he came into the forest.
 
"Hello son" said the king, "Tell me, although you bear a sword as mark of rank, did I ever have you trained at all in its use?"
 
"No, step-father" said the lovely prince, "you said always there would be knights to defend me and I had no need to learn such things."
 
"I lied" said the wicked king, and abruptly thrust.
 
To his shock, the young prince parried the thrust and stepped back warily.
 
"When did you learn swordplay?" asked the king, before again dancing forward to thrust viciously.
 
The prince parried and again retreated, and because it was his usual habit to answer questions put to him, he said "There are Elves in the forest, and they have taught me many things."
 
"Did they teach you to always watch behind you?" said the king and thrust again, and the beautiful one fell backwards, for the crafty king had maneuvered him right up to and over a cliff. Standing there and looking down at the body below, that wicked man mused aloud "Well, should I go fetch the body and drag it back to fulfill my promise and show the world you are at last dead, or will it be enough to return empty handed and swearing I searched and searched and found naught?"

And then the kind screamed and fell backwards, away from the cliff, for a Gnome had come up behind him and cut him behind the knees. "I have a better idea" said a small high pitched voice, "Why don't you just die here in the forest and not go back at all?" The wicked king looked up and saw seven little women facing him bearing blades of black obsidian, one dripping red with the king's blood already. Their faces were grim and behind them the woodswoman stared, white faced, for she had seen the innocent prince go over.
 
"Spare my life!" cried the wicked king in terror.
 
"You have destroyed our great Treasure, the Beautiful Man" said one of the Gnomes, "Do you think we will let you walk out of this wilderness now?"
 
"Do not think we will let you walk away, or even crawl away, for you will not walk on those legs again" said another.
 
"Spare my life!" cried the wicked king in terror.
 
"The Innocent Man lived, until YOU killed him!" cried the woodswoman, and she leapt over the heads of the Gnomes and went to stand at the edge, looking down at the body below.
 
"Spare my life!" cried the wicked king in terror.
 
And at that the little women who had been creeping towards him remorselessly all became very quiet and stared at him wide eyed, for he had said the same thing now three times, and three is a very important number to Gnomes.

"Your life will be spared" said one of the Gnomes, "But we will see you suffer."
 
"I must go and fetch him" said the woodswoman, preparing to scramble down the cliff. "His body must return to his people, to be properly buried."
 
"What good will that do?" said a Gnome, "That will not bring him back."
 
As she lowered herself the woodswoman paused to glare at that Gnome. "He was an Innocent" she hissed, "And his people loved him, and he deserves better than that his corpse be devoured by wolves and his bones scatterred!"
 
"His people love him" said the Gnome, "And you love him." It was not a question and the woodswoman did not answer.
 
The wicked king tried to rise to his feet, and screamed, for of course his legs would not support him and were in agony. "What is to become of me?" he moaned.
 
"Nothing good" promised the little women who now surrounded him. "For you have done us no good, but only evil." And they discussed openly before him various punishments, but decided to wait for "She who loved the Beautiful Man" before making a decision.
 
"HE LIVES!" came the cry from the foot of the clifff, "The Innocent One breathes, but oh, his body is so broken!"
 
The Gnomes stared at each other, and one leapt over the cliff, drifting down like a leaf, and called up to the others "It is true! The Beautiful Man lives, but is dying!"
 
"At last, you will do us some good, o wicked man!" said one of the little women, and she reached into his body, her hand passing through flesh and ribs as if they were so much smoke, and touched his heart. The wicked king gasped and cried out, for no one had ever touched his heart before. The Gnomes made a living chain, joining hands, and one by one they went over the cliff, floating down, and their arms growing absurdly long to keep them all in contact, a chain of Gnomes leading back to the living body of the wicked king, until they touched hands with the Gnome who remained with the beautiful prince. The weeping woodswoman was amazed as her beloved prince began to heal, as the Gnomes drew off life from the wicked king to work their healing magic on the one they called their Treasure. At last he rose from the stones on which he had been broken, and gazed about in wonder.
 
"The Innocent Man lives!" rejoiced the woodsman, seizing him and kissing him. When at last she let go, stepping back and blushing hard as if she had been the one grabbed and kissed, he shook his head and said he was not innocent.
 
"I have kissed someone and felt desire" he said, and gave her a look that made her shiver. "I have raised my hand in my own defense. And..." He looked up the cliff at this point, "I have looked into the eyes of someone coming at me to kill me. I will never be innocent again."
 
"You are a Good Man" said she who loved him.
 
He clenched his fist and said "Were that wicked king here before me now, gladly would I see his blood spilled on the forest floor!"
 
"You are a Good Man" said she who loved him.
 
He stopped and looked at her and said "I would hope to be a good man."
 
"You are a Good Man" said she who loved him.
 
And he stared at her wide eyed, for she had said the same thing three times, and he had lived among Gnomes, and three is a special number to Gnomes.
 
"I am a good man" he agreed, and resolved to always be so.  And then "What of the king, my stepfather?"
 
And the little women, who had scampered up the cliff to check on that very person, called down that he was up there, lame and weak, but still very much alive. The mortals climbed the cliff and saw the wicked king, who had raised himself on an elbow and, scraping away leaves and detritus, had cleared a patch of earth and was with a stick inscribing circles and symbols into the dirt. "He is working some spell!" cried the woodswoman, who hurried to sweep away his work with her foot. The wicked king began then to weep helplessly.
 
"That wasn't going to work" reassured one of the little women.
 
"He meant to call a demon" said another, "but there is not enough force left in him for such a thing to even notice him. we have drained him away to preserve the Beautiful Man." 
 
"Look at him!" said yet another of the Gnomes, and the two mortals looked and saw an old man, lamed, hands atremble and eyes clouded with age, once lustrous hair gone colorless gray, the once noble face saggy and wrinkled. "He must suffer for having attacked the Beautiful Man, and we have promised to spare his life - but make him regret living. What shall we do?"
 
"He was an ambitious man" said the Beautiful Man, "but no one will believe that this old scarecrow of a man is the king. He cannot return to reclaim his power, from the look of him he could barely hold a sword, and you say even his demons will pay him no heed, drained as he is. That is a suitable punishment."
 
"He was a vain man" said the woodswoman, "and his beauty is gone as the greenness is gone from a dry autumn leaf. Oh, how he will suffer now!"
 
"But I am the king! I am a great wizard!" cried the wicked man who had been a false king, and beat his hands helplessly on the ground.
 
"But I am the king! I am a great wizard!" cried the wicked man who had been a false king, and shouted curses from the fringes of the crowd at the true king's coronation.
 
"But I am the king! I am a great wizard!" cried the wicked man who had been a false king, and wept on the fringes of the crowd come to see the king marry the woman who had rescued him from the Gnomes.
 
And because that wicked man had said the same thing three times, and the Gnomes had been watching and counting, they came and carried him away from the habitations of men, and set him on a hard boulder they called his throne, and brought him bitter herbs and mud pies when he called for a feast, and screeched and howled abominably when he called for entertainment, but most delighted in deceiving him with illusions when he thought to cast some spell, always showing him either spectacular failure or an illusion of his intention manifesting in the most ridiculous or ineffectual way possible. At last in his madness he mixed up what he said was a potion to restore his youth and beauty, and that time they brought him a true mirror in which he saw himself as he truly was, and that is when he groaned and died. His body was left for the beasts to devour and to scatter his bones, and the Gnomes were just as pleased, for they had begun to tire of him.
 
As for the Beautiful King and his loving wife, I would like to say they lived happily ever after, but neither he nor you nor I are truly innocent enough to believe that. Of course there was trouble when he announced his marriage plans, and counselors and nobles objected to this elevation of a woman of dubious character and whose ancestry was at best of a minor house, but after hearing many objections the King rose at the head of the conference table and silenced all by the steel in his voice as he said "I am sure you want a good man as king. With her at my side, I WILL BE A GOOD MAN. With her I can never be other than my best self. She IS the best queen you can hope for, for she will make me the best possible king. The matter is settled." And between the hard look in his eyes, and the even harder look in hers, there were none who chose to unsettle that matter. Indeed, ever after if anyone gave the king too much grief on any matter, or any seemed to have abused the king's trust or worked some mischief, it was the king's custom to say "perhaps I will take things up with Her Majesty" and that settled a good many matters. The rumors of things she had done before meeting her husband never died away, and in truth, she did not discourage them either. It pleased her to think that any who would not behave for love of the king, might behave from fear of the queen.
 
And the royal couple were not always blissful, for he was no longer innocent but sometimes a fool, and as for her, she was for a long time jealous of all women more beautiful than herself or more highly born, and that included almost all the women of the court. It was a long time before the king figured out why women had stopped looking at him directly or meeting his eye, and when he at last got the truth from a certain countess he said "Excuse me my lady. I must go decide if I will be angry at my wife the queen, or burst out laughing at her." And there was the time a queen came against them in war, because she meant to conquer and marry by force the most beautiful of men, but that's another long story we needn't relate. Doubts faded as they grew old together, and perhaps some of passion faded, but he never stopped striving to be a good man, a good husband, and a good king, and always his queen had his back. And their children, in time, were taken to meet the Gnomes and befriend them, and being loved and well taught, they grew up as good people and as the king and queen grew ever older,  took on more and more of the burden of governing.
 
So perhaps they did not live "happily EVER after" but they lived long and happy and good and useful lives, which is said to be as much as any mortal should hope for. Some say they had the highest bliss of all, for they perished together in the embrace of love and were found so entwined, cold but with expressions of ecstasy still on their faces. They were buried together and if you go to their city you can see the monument raised over their bones, a statue of the royal pair enthroned, inscribed "THE BEAUTIFUL KING AND THE LOVING QUEEN." And when tourists gaze and ask "How did such a lovely king come to wed such a homely looking queen?" then those  who grew up with the story say "Many loved him for his beauty, but she loved him for his innocence, and for this he held her above all other women."
 
As for the Gnomes, they DID live happily ever after, although from time to time one would wistfully say to another "Remember the Beautiful Man?" and all would sigh and say "What a Treasure he was! I hope he was as good a king to his people as he was beautiful." And perhaps he was. He surely tried to be.
 
And that, friends, is as good a place as any to end this tale.
 
 
Lucius Alexander
 
Copyright Palindromedary Enterprises
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

OATH--Organization for the Advancement of Total Harmony.
 
Faux-religious outfit whose public line is that they want to help people find the path to "the harmony within"  but privately their focus is on mind control techniques and emptying the bank accounts of its members.
 
Feel free to steal that for your superhero/modern day campaigns.

Back in my Exalted days, I jotted notes for a society that centered on a volcano goddess who demanded a periodic sacrifice of a male virgin to keep her happy. When the lava fountains rose above the lip of the crater, sending drifts of fertilizing ash over the fields, people knew their offering made her very happy indeed. Sometimes the sacrificial men even came back... carrying a baby. Those infants were raised as the priests of their mother.
 
Dean Shomshak