Rails

Continuing the events of Metal Mayhem (part 1):
 
Shadowboxer (driving a cab in secret ID) discovers he's being followed by a guy who keeps checking an old military compass clipped to his motorcycle handlebars.  Through trial and error, he and Malarky discover that the compass is magically detecting the mind link the team uses constantly (even in secret ID).  Checking the guy while he's sleeping, Malarky discovers that the guy has both a divination and an evocation spell on him.  Specifically, one spell to detect telepathic contact, and another to trigger hellfire.
 
Circe:  What you're saying is, if I try to tromp through his noggin, his head will explode.
GM:  It's just a hypothesis Malarky came up with.  You'd better test it.  Y'know, for science.  (evil grin)
 
The team's PR guy, T.J. O'Roarke contacts Nexus.  (And special mad props to death tribble for creating the idea of Rhode Island Red.)
 
T.J.:  There's a superhero from Rhode Island who's checking in with you guys.  Normally, I'd call Honey Badger in to talk to him, but in this case I don't think it's a wise idea.
Nexus:  Why not?  Who is this guy?
T.J.:  He's called Red.  Specifically, Rhode Island Red.
Pops:  Rhode Island Red?!  What is he, a giant chicken?
GM:  (shows players a picture of the character, who is indeed a chicken-man)
Pops:  Yeah, best not call Honey Badger.  He'll show up with barbecue sauce.
T.J.:  It's generally bad PR when one hero eats another hero for lunch.
 
GM reads the bit from death tribble describing Red.
 
GM:  (dramatic voice)  Who will Cry Fowl and stand firm against injustice?  In a world of danger you need someone who will not chicken out.  When others have flown the coop he remains steadfast.  The Battling Bantam, the Resourceful Rooster, the Courageous Cockerel, behold!  Rhode Island Red!  (pause)  I have to admit, I didn't write that, or come up with the character idea.
Maker:  You just loved the puns too much.
GM:  Yep!
 
Pops:  He's probably into cockfighting.
GM:  He does practice Kung Fu.  Well, a variation.  He calls it Cock Fu.
Nexus:  No.  You didn't just go there.
GM:  I did.
 
Red:  (while tilting his head and bobbing it back and forth repeatedly)  I'm investigating the kidnapping AWK! of pilot Lauren Hamilton and the theft of a Bombardier Global 6000 jet from Pegasus Air in Providence on December 1st.  Since then, I've tracked it to Millennium City, Montreal, Chicago, AWK!  back to Millennium City, and now to Boston...
Nexus:  Is he really doing that?  The squawking and head thing?
GM:  Yes, he is.  Kinda has to.  It's not a costume.  He's a man-chicken.
Pops:  You need to stand up and do the wings too.  Get the full effect.
 
Nexus:  (OOC) Does he lay giant eggs?
GM:  (sarcastic)  Yeah, giant rooster eggs.
Malarky:  He's a rooster, not a hen.
Nexus:  Oh.  Yeah.  Right.  Never mind.
 
Red:  This is the first time I've actually caught up to the jet.  I found some papers when I snuck in last night...
Nexus:  Wait, you snuck into the jet?  How?
Red:  (mildly offended)  I have skills.  I am a private eye.
Nexus:  I just thought you'd kinda stand out.
Red:  I did it early in the morning when nobody was around.  (pause)  I always get up early.
 
It should be noted that the chicken puns ("winging it", "ran afowl", etc.) were flying fast and furious all night. 
 
Malarky:  (makes EGO roll by a lot)  It should be noted that Malarky, master of tomfoolery and pranks, is keeping a totally straight face and not cracking any jokes at all.
 
The papers have doodles of circuit diagrams and equations. 
Nexus:  We'll want to show these to Maker.  She's our tech guru.
Honey Badger:  (OOC)  Will you be able to read that chickenscratch?
Maker:  (to HB)  Are you through yet?
Honey Badger:  (grin)  Nope.  I got a million of 'em.  I can do this all night.
 
Red explains that the people who hired the plane and pilot, and then absconded with them, are likely drugging the pilot to make her cooperate.
Malarky:  That's kind of a chickenshit move.
GM:  Really?  I thought you weren't going to go there.
Malarky:  Sorry.  I'm weak.
 
The players learn some of Red's abilities.
 
GM:  He has a Crow of Justice.  Adds to his PRE, gives him a 10d6 Presence Attack.
Pops:  Holy crap!  That would make anyone run away.
Shadowboxer:  But really, would you want to take the chance of getting beaten up by a chicken?  Think what it would do to your rep.
 
(more to come)

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
 
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." 
 
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." 
 
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
 
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
 
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

A day that will live in infamy, truly.

My favorite from that movie is just before that:

"Just a dumb kid, Hub.  Don't kill him."

"Gravitons? WE. ARE. SPARTILCES!"
I guess with that name, a "this is sparta" joke was asked for.

Nah. We all tend to be individuals and come up with our own personal ideologies as we go along. I'm politically right and yet have no desire to pursue a lot of the social conservatism (like discrimination towards people who ain't like me). A label, more often than not, is just a way to quickly categorize somebody. I prefer to judge people on how they treat others, rather than on labels that they assign themselves. Takes a little more effort, but worth it in the end.
 
In regards to CCW permits without training, I am torn. One hand I am for 2nd Amendment rights and believe that a parent should be able to teach their children gun safety. Other hand, not everybody has parents who responsibly teach gun safety. Like the police chief in the linked article, I highly recommend that anybody owning a gun (CCW or not) seek out training. Not just in how to use it, but understanding the legalities of using deadly force. Safe storage of a weapon is not incidental. If you don't know how to apply a trigger lock or other safety mechanism, take the time to learn how or buy a gun safe. Learning how to break down and clean your weapons is also a really useful skill. Owning a gun is a lot more than waving it around "gangsta" style in order to look cool. In fact, the best gun owners are ones that you wouldn't even necessarily know own a gun; unless they specifically share that information with you.

I've rewatched The Incredibles, it's still the best Fantastic Four movie evah  

I vote for the woman who played President Marsdin on Supergirl as Wonder Woman.  Failing that, the actress who played Principal Powers on Sky High would have done a good job.
 
Oh, and Captain America would totally kick Batman's rump.

Am I looking for love in Alderaan places?

You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

If you removed an angel statue from a fountain, what would you have?
 
A sans seraph font

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice
 
My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.
 
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
 
 I, for one, like Roman numerals.
 
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
 
There is no “i” in denial
 
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
 
You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a
pigeon.
 
I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there.
 
I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid.

didn't want to drag Funny Pics down with this so here it goes. 
 
if It steps over a line I'll delete it.  
 

*Munches popcorn* 
OMG! I just know Supergirl will find true love yet....
 
*Blinks* Errr.. I mean... get off my lawn, young punks! *Cough*

Are there rounds you WANT to be shot with?

Are any of the million good?  

Rather than comment on the outcome of the election, I'll simply share what my 20 year old daughter said this morning. After reading several friends' posts on Facebook, saying they wanted to leave the country, she said, "Too many people have sacrificed too much for this country to just lay down when things get hard."

https://twitter.com/nxthompson/status/795656665123213312

"What are the names of the planets?"
 
"Jupiter."
 
"Good. What else?"
 
"Pluto."
 
"Pluto is not a planet anymore."
 
"Who blew it up?"