Hermit

Now time for the sexy sexy changing of the guard!
 
 

Hero #4:  Peter Vincent (Fright Night)
 

I refuse to believe that could be real.  Tony Stark would have arranged something far grander than a simple headstone.  I'm thinking the Tony Stark Memorial Cemetery, with a giant mausoleum in the center.  Around the periphery of the mausoleum are several dozen statues of various Iron Man armors, each with eternal flames burning.  Daily fireworks shows.  Maybe even dancing girls. 

I posted something on the Book of Face a few weeks ago to which one of my friends responded "Yeah, I don't think us puny humans can do anything to affect the Earth." To which I had to reply, "One puny human over the course of a single human life time? You're probably right. 12 or 15 or 20 billion humans over the course of two and a half or three centuries? You'd have to be crazy not to at least consider the possibility."
 
Human beings are notoriously bad at understanding really big numbers.

"Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring!"
" Well that's absurd. People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling."
"Exactly!"

I saw the movie Jaws at too young an age.
Good movie. Bigger Boat, yadda yadda
 
And yet, when the public pool ( a large one) was nearly empty, and one could see the blue of the Deep side... some part of my young mind just knew KNEW that some @@$#  shark had slipped through some pipes all the way from the ocean, and somehow slipped in there ... 
and it was waiting.
Oh yes.
Nevermind the physical impossibility. Never mind the pool was was chlorined and not sea water! I could no help but feel building trepidation every time I got too far into the deep end and soon got back to the shallower side.
 
Dun nah dun nah..du nah nuh ... I'm almost SURE it's waiting on the other side of that grate there....
 
 
Now, of course as an adult, I know better. Sharks do not worm their ways into swimming pools through pipes far too small for them.
 
No, tornadoes CARRY them there
 
 
 
 

L. Marcus checked both boxes
 
Yes, on a sliding scale!

I saw the movie Jaws at too young an age.
Good movie. Bigger Boat, yadda yadda
 
And yet, when the public pool ( a large one) was nearly empty, and one could see the blue of the Deep side... some part of my young mind just knew KNEW that some @@$#  shark had slipped through some pipes all the way from the ocean, and somehow slipped in there ... 
and it was waiting.
Oh yes.
Nevermind the physical impossibility. Never mind the pool was was chlorined and not sea water! I could no help but feel building trepidation every time I got too far into the deep end and soon got back to the shallower side.
 
Dun nah dun nah..du nah nuh ... I'm almost SURE it's waiting on the other side of that grate there....
 
 
Now, of course as an adult, I know better. Sharks do not worm their ways into swimming pools through pipes far too small for them.
 
No, tornadoes CARRY them there
 
 
 
 

I knew it!

Army dentists.
 
Still scared of them, but I no longer have to go to them, so I can laugh now.

He probably doesn't like "Fish Guy" either.  
 

Not with a bang, but a whimper. 

Are your men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute their trainer.

"All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my boomstick! It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right...shop smart. Shop S-Mart. Ya got that?!"

Tom Hiddleston: The choices we make have a lasting impact. Not just on ourselves, but on those around us. On our communities. Even on the world. When considering the question before us, we must take into account--
 
Clerk, interrupting: Sir, I just need to know whether you want paper or plastic.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/darreion-toles-st-louis-woman-fired-blocking-black-man-entering-apartment/
 
I had missed this story of a black man being blocked from his own apartment by a rather insistent young white woman who can't seem to grasp that no, no one owes you details of their life or has to prove jack to you.  

"That was one tough spider!"

Growing up in the Sixties, when it came to magical ladies I appreciated Liz Montgomery, but I was team Barbara Eden all the way. Suburban slacks and skirts can't match silk harem pants.

Reminds me of Animal's duel with Buddy Rich on the old Muppet Show. Only that was longer and even more intense. Rich won BTW.

Fie! What base knavery is this? That a man should beat his own breast and boast of his aggression and proclaim the beam in his eye gives him vast prowess to judge others? What unknightly behavior that he should forsake the chivarlic virtues of humility, temperance, and fortitude and instead, like a drunkard lurching for fermented swill, seek to claim a crown. Meanwhile, the townsfolk do quake in fear or outrage at his ignoble behavior. Miloth! the man lacks the genteel spirit required of those who would offer to guide a people, ALL the people about, and not just the select few he would favor.  Were he to set one foot in Camelot, even Sir Kay, a bit of a brute himself, would not deign sup with the like, and Arthur would weep to see that an odious weed had arisen claiming to be a flower of knighthood. Fie and Fie again! I clear the dust from my heels and will have no truck with him!
 
 

You are more optimistic than I am.
 
Meanwhile,
 

For added effect this was to my mother-in-law...

(Jerkass has a point, banging on the 4th wall, yes, I am aware that all my attempts can be broken into tropes. I've learned to live with it)
 
There was a long stretch of silence at the Ambassador's question.
 
It was Arctic Fox who broke it, "Well, looks like we don't get the short cut to the cure for cancer. Having this thrown in our faces by a superior culture, I now completely understand why over a century ago some islanders ate smug missionaries." And she shot La'Vesh a look that could curdle milk.
"Ah," Despite his diplomatic training, La'Vesh seemed at a loss for words himself there, before clearing his throat once more and saying "I have given you only the slightest problem of it. Some of you would qualify as genetic offshoots of your species. In the wrong hands this could lead to an arms race of genetic coding for superwarriors, or the extermination of superhuman potential."
 
"Like the lady said," Pinprick piped up, "You already sold us. Don't rub it in."
 
"Wait," I said, something about the talk of 'missionaries' rang a bell, "What if you were to cure a limited number of humans, covertly. As you probably know, we have a lot of religions on our world. I'm a believer in one of them."
 
"Ah, are you of the Church of Ceiling cat then?" La'Vesh inquired.
 
"I…what?" I blinked, "No."
 
"I was joking. A little humor to ease what might have to be a negative response to whatever request you're trying to make," he explained.
 
"Oh we don't use humor around here," Tornado said straight faced.
 
"Not to ease things anyway," Pinprick added.
 
It was my turn to ahem, "What I'm trying to say is, if you were to allow us to use the cure on a limited amount of people, it's entirely possible that people would assume a supernatural agency was responsible but disagree on the details enough that eventually it would pass. You'd hardly break any prime directive at all, and no one outside of us would know there is a 'cure' that we passed up."
 
One of the troopers spoke up, "With respect, Ambassador, they have given up much and  did, in a sense, save our lives by their surrender."
He frowned, angelic face falling into cautious consideration, "How limited?"
 
"One hospital" I said.
 
They others on the team looked over at me. Lady Obsidian nodded, "I think I see what you're getting at, but better lay it out for us so we're all on the same page."
 
The plan was approved by everyone, well, almost everyone. When Doctor Bench came out of the mystical realm he'd been stored in he was livid. Furious, and no amount of trying to convince him otherwise would work.
 
"You decided, all of you decided? You got to decide the fate of millions!" He accused.
 
"To keep the cure, we would have had to kill them," I said, and not for the first time, "And even then, you could beat there would be serious talk of other attempts in even greater numbers. Doctor, the Hyadesians are dedicated to preventing this particular version of the cure to us and…" I took a breath, "For good reason. And no, they won't grant us an alternative treatment worldwide but they're willing…"
 
"I don't give a damn," The man was almost shaking, "You, each and everyone of you here, is playing GOD with the lives of your fellow human beings, and we don't even get a seat at the table."
 
Lady Obsidian tilted her head, "Doctor Bench, please. You know far better than any of us as the dangers that they bring up. Gene Editing and splicing are already in our world, the Fumian solution would lead to something akin to giving every set of radicals with an agenda a biological weapon like the world has never seen. It would be blankets and small pox all over again, and on a scale that …"
 
"Oh, please don't lecture me, Doctor Vernon! I am well aware of the risks, but unlike you, I have faith in my fellow human beings to take their lumps and move on! Perhaps you've spent too much time in that suit, but we mere mortals are more robust than you think, and maybe we're more enlightened than you and these aliens think. Thousands of people should not die each day because you're worried we might not be perfect!"  His finger pointed at Lady Obsidian with an accusing jab at the end of each sentence.
Pinprick scowled, "Careful now." I could tell Pinprick agreed with a lot of his points, the look of annoyance and flashes of guilt on his diminutive face were giveaways. But no one talked to the Lady in front of Pinprick like that.
 
Lady Obsidian took a cleansing breath, and said "Perhaps I am too cynical.  It is a danger in my line of work. But we still get to the point where a group of dedicated soldiers were killing themselves to save us from this. And even if they lost, a whole nother army might have come in and this time been less fussy about who died. You think I should have just let them destroy themselves then and risk an intergalactic invasion? It wasn't that long ago we stopped an undersea one."
 
"You should have let them die, yes! You should have looked after your own!" Doctor Bench snapped.
 
"My own? Mmm" Lady Obsidian shook her head, "I think we're done here, Doctor. Mabel will see you out."
 
"I'll never forgive you for this," Bench hissed, and stormed towards the exits as Mabel lit the way "I hope one day your pretentious little Valhalla burns! We don't need gods like you!"
 
"Jerkass had some points," Tornado muttered.
 
"Don't I know it," Lady Obsidian's fists clenched "Everything he said had…. Well, my retirement just got bumped a year closer."
"Don't even joke" I told her with a smile.
 
She didn't respond.
 
"Am I the only one smelling the stink of future supervillain on Doctor Bench there?" Pinprick asked.
 
'Come on, man," I said, "He's a healer."
 
"Just me then," Pinprick muttered.