Pariah

The bakery there is no better because I looked...and the pie is gray.

I don't see why not. If you put the draft on the FH board, please announce it. I don't use that board at all
 
CES

Bought a head of lettuce from a small grocery store called Mommas and Papas.
 
Can't eat it because all the leaves are brown.

Governor Abbott is, as far as I can tell, a science-denying Right-wing nutjob conspiracy theorist jackass who sees himself as a possible heir to Donald Trump's followers. I believe the school district was not just right, but morally obligated to try to find a way to defy the order. I applaud them for doing so.

I dislike any bagel that involves onion. That includes the ubiquitous Everything bagel.
 
The grocery store across the street from my school used to sell sun-dried tomato bagels, which I loved. But apparently I was the only one, because they discontinued them.
 
Well, they got a new baker who decided to dig up some of the old recipes and experiment with them. So when I went in one day, they had sun-dried tomato bagels again! Naturally I bought one...only to discover that she had decided to add onion to the recipe.
 
Most disappointing bagel of my life.

I'm not certain whether I mentioned this earlier or not, but Mountain Dew. If you ever see me drinking Mountain Dew of any variety, you should assume that I have been abducted and replaced with a clone, alien, robot, or LMD. Call S.H.I.E.L.D. if this happens.

Ah you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red fire light
Ah you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery (huh)
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me

Hey hey!

I've been singing with my band
Across the water, across the land
I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey)
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies every time

C'mon!

Ah, won't you take me home tonight?
Ah, down beside your red fire light
Ah, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Hey, listen here
Now I got mortgages and homes
I got stiffness in the bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this)

Oh (I know), you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round (yeah)
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Get on your bikes and ride

Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah
Allright
Ride 'em come on
Fat bottomed girls
Yeah, yeah, right

Final pick for Iä! Iä! Miskatonic fhtagn!
 
(Believe it or not, this didn't occur to me until only a couple of days ago, even though it looks like an ab initio set-up.)
 
So, we've got a school in Arkham whose best students are, mostly, of dubious (at best) social orientation.  The troublemaker is a white witch who sends her wrapped-around-her-finger goons to harass other students, and the goons are the Ghostbusters.  Not only is the most popular student a literal pirate, he's an undead one to boot. The school also who sends its best students out to an impressive-sounding tech internship at  a facility that explicitly combines Lovecraftian horrors with a mundane nuclear reactor (one hopes it doesn't have a positive void coefficient, but with Elder Things in the core, does that matter much?).  And the theme music strongly suggests Bad S--t is coming, or maybe returning, real soon.
 
Who would possibly run this place?  Who do you know of who would meddle with the Great Old Ones and nuclear reactions at the same place at the same time?  Who would do this with a gleam in his eye as he lectured about it to his students?   Who among us is enough of a senior academic that he could really be the master of an exclusive private prep school?  Who makes HHOS jokes about destroying the Universe in a thread dedicated to exactly that?
 
I think we all know who I'm talking about here.  But in this draft we aren't allowed to draft real-world people.
 
Well, let's remove all ambiguity while obeying the letter of the draft rules.  As our Schoolmaster and Mentor, we draft an incredibly powerful Ace, cult leader, and loathsomely evil old man who in canon already has tried (and failed) to take over the world in the aftermath of an invasion by alien monsters.  From the Wild Cards stories, we draft ...
 
Mentor:  The Astronomer

If you want my soul you really must be pretty desperate

Look, I'm not here to kink-shame anybody, but I don't think that's right.

Texas school district that included masks in dress code hit with restraining order

I’m going to admit something no guy is supposed to say..........I can’t stand the taste of beer.
   I’ve had people try to convince me that I just never had the right type or brew or whatever and I’ve had to taste a lot of stuff I didn’t like to appease them.  So let’s not make this one of those sessions.
   When I do drink (I keep VERY strict rules for myself about how or if I’m getting home) I either go with sweet drinks like rum & cola or sea breeze or good quality Irish whiskey. This keeps me from the power drinkers, because I can switch out the first two with non alcoholic substitutes over the course of the night or I can insist that “You don’t pound 25 year old whiskey.”

Actually, Stephen Pastis nailed that one.

... So far.

I just want to know how long Debbie's hair is. The whole reading of this sign depends on it. 

Look, I'm not here to kink-shame anybody, but I don't think that's right.

A song by the Silver Bullet Band...in COORS????  

Probably every time a visiting team yanks a reliever, mid-inning...

Updates tomorrow, probably. Maybe.

Is his hair perfect?