BoloOfEarth

Tying someone to a chair is effectively an Entangle employed against a given character -- one that should have appropriate advantages and limitations for whatever form the Entangle's bonds take (i.e. duct tape? rope? hand cuffs? Spider Man's webbing?).
 
Escaping said Entangle with Desolidification or Teleportation should absolutely be possible unless:
The Entangle is purchased with the Cannot Be Escaped with Teleportaion (+1/4) advantage and/or the Affects Desolid (+1/2) advantage The SFX and/or limitations on the Desolidification or Teleport powers dictate they should not be usable to escape the specific Entangle (given its definition, special effects, advantages, and limitations) ... and the GM rules as such (As an example: Desolidification that doesn't work against extremely dense materials ... and the person is bound to the chair using special handcuffs made of Bogonite, known for its extreme density in a lightweight package)

I'd expect Desolidification to allow the person to get out of bonds, unless said bonds have Affects Desolidified.
 
Similarly, Teleportation could allow escape from bonds unless said bonds have Cannot be Escaped with Teleportation.

He hires Oculon to catch the roadrunner for him. Oculon not only fails, but whines about it for three days afterward.

(Continued. I think I hit a snag about around here but hopefully it weaves back satisfactorily later on)
Costa Sagrado's 'sewers' are actually more than that, it's a really old city, and built on an even older settlement. So, what we'd call sewers include storm drains and steam tunnels. It’s a mishmash of historical and bureaucratic projects that somehow settled into a sustainable system. Some parts are cleaner than others normally.
Normally.
 
What was freaking me out is how everything wasn't just clean now, it was indeed clear as crystal. There was no scent at all from it, tentatively, I reached down my hand and got myself a cupped palm full of water and took a sip. I mean, Lady Obsidian told me it would be safe but darned if this wasn't the purest water I'd ever tasted in my life.
And I had drunk from mountain streams.
 
"Incredible," I muttered, and plunged into the water filled tunnel to begin my patrol.  
 
Contrary to what you may hear about superheroes, we don't really go spelunking under cities that much. We go where the crime is, and while the occasional mastermind creates an underground lair, even they don't like the typical smell of refuse, sewage, and methane that would come with this area.
 
But with the smell gone, this was pioneer country, at least to me it was, and I actually began to enjoy myself.  It was a combination race track and water park as I moved through it. As I can see in the dark, I found myself cutting sharp corners and zipping along undisturbed.
 
Well, almost undisturbed. There were some rats down here that looked absolutely baffled. I don't think they enjoyed being dirty, per se, but like a lot of mammals they weren't crazy about change; at least not change that came without warning.
 
No giant alligators, at least not yet. Then again, this was California, not New York City. Maybe we'd have something like giant yellow banana slugs haunting the passages?  I need to stop speculating like this, for superheroes its like yelling "MacBeth" on a stage is said to be for actors.
 
The next time my back rose above the water, something seized me, affixing to my back like glue and hauling me out. I had strength, sure, but without something to grab or brace against, I was having a devil of a time putting that might to work for me. Someone had just 'fished' me out of the water.
 
No way was I telling the gang about this specific little embarrassment. I would never hear the end of it. I swung around wilder than I liked trying to find the source who whoever had snared me. No one to the left, no one to the right, and I looked up to see-
"Slime?" I blinked in surprise.
 
Slime is an alien turned superhero. The reason for the name is obvious. Slime is a liquid lifeform, well, semi-liquid. He (I suppose it would be more accurate, but sometimes that feels rude) and I first met when the azure ooze extended to save a man from plummeting to his death.  Slime is morbidly fascinating, but is by no earthly measure aesthetically pleasing. He pulsates, he bubbles, and undulates. And, he stinks when he pops: It smells kind of like sulfur.
 
That said, I kind of liked the guy. A section of Slime flattened enough so words could form just under the surface of him.
Eel? What are you doing here?
 
"Looking for the Fumians, just like you are I suspect. They're priority number one," I told him, "They recently outfitted three Earth youth with power armor, at least, that's what Lady Obsidian's theory is, and they also created a fifty-foot giant chicken that went on a rampage, "I tried to catch him up. While he didn't talk, he could understand the spoken word fine, and then reply like a teleprompter.
I heard about the fifty-foot chicken. You're the one who fought that thing? How is it you always get the weird jobs?
 
I sighed, "I had help from Valorosa, but yeah, I wonder about that myself. Long story short, she got the finishing blow there.  With the cleaning of the water down here, we figure the Fumians must be using this to get around, or even as a lair. Any news on your part? And," I looked down at the water I'd been plucked from, "Could you put me down?"
 
Of course, Slime let me down, tendril letting me fall a bit more gracefully in the water, I was indeed looking for them. An Earth street gang had some very dangerous chemicals they were trying to sell as street drugs, I recognized the type. Incredibly dangerous to primates of all sorts. It can lead to insanity. They told me of a strange man so I tracked the dealer into these tunnels, then, I lost him. I noticed your motion and wondered if it wasn't some vehicle or other means of transport he was using to get away. That is how I snagged you.
 
I nodded, "Makes sense. Yeah, the others have me on the job because I can swim through the tunnels, see in the dark, that sort of thing. I wish I could be two places at once. Apocalyptic is in town, they're a pretty bad supervillain team." I filled him in with names and appearances over the next minute finishing with, "Did you see any of them?"
He shook most of his mass side to side in a simple gesture of no.
 
"Oh well," I tried not to wrinkle my nose too obviously as more of the sulfur stench wafted down on me. Sad to say, but after the cleaning down here, Slime was the most odiferous thing around. That said, he was still a superhero, "Want help me patrol for them? Two sets of-" I was going to say eyes, but then I realized, at least visibly, Slime didn't have any, "That is-"
 
Relax, Earthman, I know what you mean, There was a burble of amusement, causing him to pop and gush again, Yes, of course. We must protect the innocent, yes?
"Always," I smiled, then thought of something, "How do you handle water?"
 
Not well for long, I fear. Prolonged immersion makes it hard to remain cohesive. It can be very straining. I hope I don't slow you down too much?
He might indeed, but I figured the tradeoff of a backup would make it worthwhile, "No worries. I zip ahead, I zip back, you check the sides. The water doesn't go everywhere, after all, so once it's solid ground you move a lot more quickly than I do.  So, it all evens out. Anything else you can tell me about the Fumians we might not already know?"
Slime seemed to ripple pensively, if such a thing can be done, Don't digest them, they taste terrible.
 
"Got it, I-" My eyes widened, "What??"
 
The rippling abandoned any pretense to pensiveness and turned into something resembling a belly laugh, assuming a belly could break open and hiss with a snicker now and then, Pinprick is right. You are 'easy', Eel. Don't worry, I don't digest sentients. It's barbaric, and takes forever to trim down again.
 
"Very funny," I said knowing he'd been around long enough to get sarcasm, "Okay, wise guy. Anything else?"
 
They prey on despair, and trade lives like your Earth Businessmen trade stock. They are horrible creatures, and prefer others do the fighting for them, but never assume they will not fight viciously when it seems you are about to deny them profit. They have the zealotry of avarice and see getting as the highest ethical good. If we can find a way to make Earth less profitable for them, they will get mean, but then they may lose interest.
 
"For the want of money is the root of evil, and they sure love their roots," I nodded, "Got it. Thanks, Slime."
With Slime to help me, we covered more terrain than either would have alone. I've got a decent sense of direction and a pretty good memory. Slime seemed to have a kind of spatial awareness that was uncanny. It turned out he could feel vibrations through whatever surface he was clinging to.
 
Eventually, we came to a T shaped branching of the under-ways. I looked left, Slime looked right, and both of us scored paydirt.
Slime didn't really have a front or back, so the side facing me read with the observation, I hear sounds, native Fumian, further down this way. Something about transport of payment.
 
I almost didn't read it, because my eyes were fixed on another direction, where there was a figure I hadn't expected. There was a Fumian, sure. He didn't bother with a holographic disguise, but it was who he was with that surprised me. I knew that Pinstripe suit anywhere. And I surely knew the voice.
Mr. Brute was bargaining with the Fumians.
 
"If this doesn't work, if there are adverse side effects, I will be very cross, you understand?"
"Be at ease, most enlightened of Terrans, we Fumians know the difference between the common customer who do not know quality or the art of bargain, and our elite clientele – such as ourselves. These 'superheroes' as you call them, they seem a grave nuisance."
 
"That is their calling," Mr. Brute said, "Superheroes are rather sad servants of the status quo. They seem to have a deep-seated fear that someone, somewhere, might express ambition in a proactive fashion. I've made a tidy profit leading my own team of, well, they call us supervillains, I prefer to think of us as pest control."
Laughter escaped the Fumian, and I could hear for myself how they did indeed have forked tongues, because the laughter was a hissing sound. But the rest was lost as they continued down the tunnel away from me.
 
Before I could follow, something pulled at me, drawing me to glance back just for a moment, and I saw that Slime was trying to 'talk' to me.
Eel, we need to go this way. The shipment of payment, we must stop it. Whatever they are planning, it cannot be as important.
"You take that, I have to follow this," I told him, "We just have to survey, not engage. It's cool, we just lucked out," I told Slime in a low whisper.
You are making a mistake.
 
Before more words could form, I waved him off, "You're great at sneaking, you'll be fine. I just hope I don't blow this. I've got to find out what Mr. Brute is up to. " And I was off before he could protest further.
Odd for a loner hero to get clingy like that.
With night vision on my side, I felt a lot more secure playing ninja, and sure enough the voices were becoming audible again.
"… so, it's agreed, the moment the temporary version of your reward shows its effects, you will begin to sow chaos among the humans above to distract these New Samaritans by any means necessary. We do not require their deaths, but we will not weep for the loss of such, what did you call them? Pests." They were now walking along an aqueduct, and I saw something glisten in the Fumian's hand ready to pass over to Mister Brute.
 
"Indeed, one of my team was treated curtly by a young man I spared in a fit of, shall we say, curiosity. I don't intend to make that mistake again. I'll kill him for free," Mister Brute said, taking what looked to be an odd looking crystalline packet with something stirring inside of it, "Mmm, interesting, gas form?"
"Only for the temporary version, the final solution is liquid. This will take affect if inhaled, instantly," The Fumian said, then changed the subject back, "And the other superheroes?"
 
"There are many people who would pay very well just for the severed head of Lady Obsidian, for her alive? Quite a fortune. Though it occurs to me perhaps I shouldn't mention that to you. You might go from business associate to rival."
 
Another hiss from the Fumian, "I doubt any human science is of interest to us, your planet has many riches, many rewards, but technology? I doubt it would be of use to us. Though we do love much of your pop culture. Truly, your planet has a rare gift for creating odd mythos and then reusing said material in the most innovative of ways. If one police procedural runs its course, you bring in another much that is almost identical, but this one has an autistic genius who befriends the woman of a less populous demographic and alternative sexual preferences. Together, they fight crime. And the audiences keep coming back even though it is the same plot as the one before it with the two brothers, one a free-spirited sort, the other more traditional in his outlook, both concerned for their father who was formerly on the force and now with a substance abuse problem. You earthlings are masters at repackaging the same in such a way that it seems new. I can admire the sheer audacity of it."
For my part, I was wincing. Sometimes someone can praise you in a way that makes you feel dirty all over. What was next? He was going to ship our reality TV? Then again, I suppose as I had just watched Nicholas Cage do a terrible accent in a movie that was a variation of a classic theme and enjoyed the hell out of it (and not for the first time) I suppose I was part of the problem.
 
And whatever weird poison Apocalyptic was trying to get, I was not about to let Mister Brute get a test run. My eyes narrowed on the prize in Mister Brute's hand.
I didn't have to beat him, I just had to grab it without breaking it, and get to the water. If I got to the water, there would be no way he could catch me. Heck, I might even create a distraction Slime could capitalize on?
 
What the hell did I have to lose?
 
I closed as quietly as I could, and then broke into a flat run. Mister Brute turned, "you?"
"Me," I agreed and feigned a southpaw punch at Mister Brute.
 
He couldn't see in the dark as well as I did, and took me for my word, raising his hand to block and counterpunch.
 
That's when I snatched his prize with the right, heard a click behind me as the Fumian drew a gun, "Later, Brute." And I dived over the edge into the water avoiding the blast.
Mister Brute wasn't so lucky. The Fumian's weapon sent a concentric ring of some strange red energy square into his chest. It didn't seem to hurt Mister Brute, but he grunted, and appeared disoriented, even dizzy for a moment.
 
A moment was more than what I needed. As soon as I struck the water, I was off with a burst of speed that made the water behind me spew high and white.
I tried not to smile as I heard Mister Brute screaming with raw fury.
He even got my name right.
 
"Eel! I will kill you for this! You miserable son of a-"
 
Ah, who was I kidding? I may have tried not to smile, but I ended up grinning from ear to ear. Saving the day is reward enough, but the outraged fury of a foe who has just been thwarted?
That's just gravy.
 
There was no catching me.  I found an exit to the surface, got out, and called on my Communicator. It had been sometime since Valorosa had dropped me off. I didn't know who might be close now, or for that matter, available.
 
"Mabel, I'm surface side again, I need someone with the hover vehicle to pick up something and maybe get me a little back up. The Fumians and Apocalyptic are working together, and I managed to snatch up some kind of alien chemical I think it's meant to be a weapon. I want it studied pronto. It was a snatch and grab. I need help, I need back up, and," I had almost forgotten, "I need to hurry. Slime's down there."
 
"You left Slime alone with Mister Brute?" Mabel sounded alarmed, "And the Fumians saw you? Eel, if they move locations they'll transport their payment to said new location."
"Slime wasn't spotted," I assured her, "he snuck off to see that part to check into the shipment of payment. I was right about Apocalyptic being in town being important, I-"
"Young man," Lady Obsidian's voice popped over the communicator, "Did you not listen to a thing I mentioned about the Fumians? The payment, in this case, includes the parents and siblings of three teenage girls. Oh,  they didn't give the contract a good read it seems, but right now, we're talking seven people ages Twelve to forty-two. And right now? Fumians are probably scrambling to move their 'cargo' and the only individual who has a chance of rescuing them is one amorphous alien you left behind."
I suddenly felt violently ill, "Oh god," I managed, gagging a bit.
 
"Stay where you are, Pinprick and I on our way. Oh, and Eel. Later, we are going to have a very long talk about what the word 'priorities' means," Her tone was tense and borderline scalding.
 
"Yes, Ma'am," I said, turned the communicator off. Seven people, human beings, about to be used as slaves for debt repayment. I mean, she had told me. But I didn't put two and two together. I slipped the crystal weapon in my belt pouch.
 
I'd like to say I spent the next precious minute leaping ahead the others foolishly trying to redeem myself. Or pacing with a just fury and eagerness to get at the foe. Or even just being cool and reserved while waiting it out like a professional.
 
But, in all honesty? I was too busy throwing up.
That feeling in my stomach had gotten to me.

(I'm getting closer to the end of the 50,000 but realized it had been awhile since I put anything here so here you go.)
 
 
And I slipped out as the police rushed in.
"Minors involved," I told them, "But the immediate threat is over, and the weapons are gone."
"You guys can't just take evidence," One fellow in blue protested, "Even if you are heroes."
"We didn't," I answered honestly, "It dissolved. Freaky stuff, huh?"
The officer blinked as if trying to visualize that, then moved on past with the others.
 
The other New Samaritans were indeed out in force. The whole team had arrived. Tornado was talking to a female reporter, a pretty one, of course. Pinprick was chatting up a commander of the local SWAT team as if they were old drinking buddies, which maybe they were. Arctic Fox has put ice walls up to block said media from swarming some of the kids who had fled the school earlier and had a look in her eyes that indicated that she was not such a respecter of the fourth estate that she wouldn't be willing to make someone wear an ice cube from neck to toes if they tried to ignore that boundary. 
 
Fortunately, the police had some therapists on site talking to the children already. I imagined a lot of the kids might need one. For that matter, if they could legally proscribe medication for stress, maybe they could set up a small dispensary for the parents of said kids.  I'm pretty sure my parents wish they could sometimes have a hit of something when they heard about me nearly getting myself killed, and I was a grown man.
 
I even saw Valorosa, and she was in a hover cycle! Well, a hovercycle with a side car. Which was amazing, I didn't know we had one of those. I guess that was the spare vehicle that had been hinted at.
 
"Fish Guy, Fish Guy" Various reporters called out.
I ignored them as if I hadn't heard them. This was a policy suggested to me by Pinprick, and it was a good one. He had explained earlier on that reporters would call me what they wanted, until I started denying them what they wanted, which was inside information on super hero news and more. My superhero handle is not Fish Guy, there for I would only respond to the reporters who called out –
 
"Eel" it was that lady reporter who had first arrived on the scene, I turned in recognition as if only now was someone wanting my attention. She didn't waste a minute.
 
"Brianna Freemont, Channel 6 news," She said holding up a microphone close to me, but not obnoxiously in my face, "Can you tell us what transpired inside?"
 
"Due to the age of those all involved," I said cautiously, "I'm not sure I'm at full liberty to talk about anything until I've been debriefed by the police, but I can say no lives were lost today."
 
"What were the kidnappers' demands?" Briana pushed, "What did they want?"
Closure, I wanted to say. Justice at first, but then they got lost and almost settled for revenge.
But answering that way would just stir her interest more, and possibly complicate matters for one or more of the kids.
"The police should have that sorted out in the next few days" was all I said, then I figured I could throw her a bone, "You'll have to excuse me, I need to talk to our newest team member."
 
"Yes, who is she?" Briana inquired as she glanced up at Valorosa in her hovercycle.
 
I shot Ariana a questioning look, and whispered on the com, "Okay if I spill the beans? You didn't get to do anything per se, but at least you didn't get spotted next to a giant chicken."
 
Her laugh on the commlink was both musical and indulging, "Oh, fine. Let her know."
 
"That," I gestured, "is Valorosa, and the New Samaritans are happy to have her," I assured the reporter.
As am I, I thought.
 
"Okay folks," Lady Obsidian's voice broke through the commlink, "Sorry to intrude, but I need Eel to hit the sewers. Water tests were confirmed this morning, clean as a bell. Can anyone give him a lift to the tunnels?"
 
"On it," Valorosa said, "I know the location of the entrance, and I've got the vehicle, so I'll just give him a lift. Jump on up, Eel."
"Thanks," I said leaping up as she flew low over me to make it easy, I didn't quite slip into the sidecar, instead giving her hopeful look.
"Great, isn’t it?" She grinned revving the engine.
 
"Yeah," I said, "I bet it is. Ah, would you mind if I?" I looked hopefully at the main seat and tried not to let my dislike of the sidecar show too much.
"Mind if you what?" Ariana inquired, then realization dawned, "Oh, you're kidding. You want me to move to the sidecar while you drive?"
"Well, you know, since you mention it," I said sheepishly, "Maybe?"
 
Valorosa rolled her eyes and muttered something in Spanish. It is habits like that that encourage me to learn it by the way. She's a bit too quick to retreat into the language I don't speak when I've clearly annoyed her but she's not going to say it in English where I might have a chance at rebuttal.
 
I gave her the big eyes.
 
"Well, it will have to be later," She reminded me, "I'm supposed to drop you off at the aqueduct and since I know the way better, I need to be the one driving."
"Fair enough," I sighed looking at the driver's seat hungrily as I slipped into the sidecar.
 
Jokingly, she sniffed, "I remember when you used to look at me like that."
 
"Yeah," I pointed out with a grin, "It was yesterday."
 
She laughed. God, it was good to hear that musical chime again, close to me. Ariana's laughter was like the soundtrack to joyful scenes in the movie of my life.
 
"Of course, if we're talking you, the vehicle and riding, I- " I pushed my luck.
 
She blushed, shook a finger at me in a 'no no no' gesture, and then gunned the engine to drown me out in case I really did want to say something suicidal today. That's my girl, keeping me out of trouble.
 
Something occurred to me, "Hey, this thing makes sounds like a classic hawg," I blinked.
 
"I suppose it does," She said as we shot over the streets, "You like it or hate it? It has a mute button for stealth operations and noise pollution I guess."
 
"I like it, of course," And I did, "I just wonder why it has it at all?"
 
"Oh, Lady Obsidian left it in, knowing certain macho members of the team would have fun with it, and probably pout if it made wimpy little high-pitched whir sounds instead," Another fond smile.
 
"Certain macho members would," I conceded, "And I bet someone else helped her with that decision."
 
She blushed again, then said, "Well, in all honesty, I did push hard for It for rather selfish reasons."
 
"Yeah?" I grinned at her, "Like the sound, do we?"
 
"It's the principle of the thing," She said as we slowed down over the tunnel area they'd investigated earlier, "Drop on down and take the grate there, you can't miss it."
"Sure, thanks for the lift," I got ready to jump, then turned to her, "The principle of the thing?"
 
She said to me with an absolutely triumphant smile, "Yeah, the principle. Anything I put between my legs, damn well better give me a low thundering moan of appreciation."
I think I lost track of time and space for a moment there, I certainly lost focus on how to balance as I fell out of the hovercycle's sidecar and flat on my back.
 
"Eel," She called out. The mask she wore did not fully hide the myriad mix of emotions playing across her. She was somehow worried for me, blushing with embarrassment, and wickedly pleased with herself all at the same time. It was only a twenty or so foot fall after all. I could land on my head from that and not be endangered.
 
"I may have gotten distracted by something you said," I confessed as I got to my feet, sheepishly.
"Dork," Her blush was ablaze now.
"Male and no apologies for it," I told her with a grin.
"Get to work, Casanova," She pointed in the direction of the grate she had told me about, "And be careful."
"Si," I told her, miming blowing her a kiss.
And her eyes grew gentle, and the smile softened and remained, "Remember to come into an area where you can make radio contact every two hours."
"Will do," I promised as I lifted the gate, and went into the tunnels.

I think it's all handled in a very complex manner using Handwavium and Dontthinkaboutite. 
 
It seems to me that sections of the floor would have to move / incline / rotate / etc. to accommodate people's movement.  But really, I suspect it's one of those things you're expected not to look at too closely or think about too hard.

Time to turn in your Cobra Kai uniform, Jeff.  Maybe you can go train with that old Miyagi fellow.

Who?
 
 
Alan Parsons vs. Dennis Hopper

Normally I wouldn't think about it because in the few episodes I've seen, Trek always stuck me in the virtual environment with the characters, and the artifice of the holodeck wasn't made apparent until the simulation was stopped. But in this last episode of The Orville, we watched a view of the simulation from the "control room", and we saw Alara just running in place while a portion of the corridor graphics moved past her. It forced the viewer (me) to thinkaboutit because the viewer (me) was suddenly madeawareofit.

Remember Boaty McBoatface ? Well the British public has done it again.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-42026485

Wouldn't that be a Jack-Jackalope?

I liked this installment a lot.  I especially liked Eel talking Laydee Lit out of a life of crime, instead of just busting in and bashing heads.  A nice mix of tactical acumen and heroic personality displayed.  More and more, I could see Eel becoming a hero team leader in his own right.
 
Favorite comment:  "(If that wasn't a sign all the good names are taken I don't know what is)"
 
I have to admit, I was getting a little worried we were going to mainly be getting the Caleb Lambert Show, but this satisfied my need for a little more superhero action.  All in all, I think you're maintaining a fairly good balance.
 
Since these kids were presumably *not* of the "rich brat" type, I have to wonder what payment they made to the Fumians to get the tech.  I hope you put a little thought into that (though I suspect you have, given your past writings).  Also, since Marcy will most likely be forthcoming to Lady Obsidian, how three early teen girls got in contact with the aliens in the first place.

(Continued, comments still welcome)
 
The next day I woke up in the apartment, poured myself a nice bowl of Captain O cereal, and caught up on the news. I had a lot to do today, but I promised mother I would try to look after myself when I got into Costa Sagrado, and I'd need the energy. I had the horrible feeling I was going to be sewer diving later today, and the thought did not fill me with glee.
 
I clicked on the TV since I was multitasking with my lap top between bites. Besides, Local news shaped opinions, God help us all, more than the internet did- at least, it shaped the opinions I'd have to deal with day to day.  The world is connected, but I live where I live.
 
"Some are even claiming the New Samaritans crafted this giant chicken incident in order to stay relevant and keep the city government from asking the question: In this day and age, should we really be relying on superheroes to fight our crime for us? What does it say about us as a community when police are under more scrutiny than ever, but superheroes can have the most outlandish incident, and everyone takes their word for it?" The TV morning host put in just the right mix of worry for the danger to the public, and the disdain for folks who fought crime in their long johns.
 
I switched to another station; I should know better than to watch Channel 3 at anytime by myself. The gang at the base and I would mock the evening news reports, and deservedly so. News 3 was so biased against superhumans that if Jesus himself appeared wearing a cape, they would start collecting wood and nails all over again.
I flipped it to News 6.  News 6 was as dry as toast. It didn't break out the pitchforks like channel 3 did, nor did it have the frivolous 'which male superhero has the nicest ass?' call in contests of Channel 13. Frivolous.
 
Ahem, yours truly is currently ahead of Tornado and Viewpoint by a narrow percentage. Swimming, it's great exercise for body form, that's all I'll say.
Channel 6, however, or at least it's news, was always a straight shooter, neither gilding the lily nor tarring and feathering unless we really screwed up or wowed them. The guy on the evening news had my respect even if I wanted to nod off sometimes at his rather old school delivery.  The morning show wasn't much more interesting, and tended towards lifestyle news and traffic reports.
 
Though nobody can mess up traffic like superhumans.
 
"While details on how the chicken was unnaturally enlarged are still just the subject of speculation, it is known that local hero Pinprick has shrunk it down to manageable levels. Animal rights activists are already rushing to rescue the chicken, calling it a pawn and a gentle giant. Despite the deaths that the chicken caused to its one-time handlers. The Superhero Eel managed to stop its rampage, but rumors are that a new superheroine in town aided him. Currently its just conjecture," A middle aged woman said professionally, but again her delivery wasn't exactly lively. Oh well, better dull facts than sensationalism, right?
Looked like Valorosa would need to make her public debut to the media, name and all, soon. It's a dangerous thing to leave stuff up to the media. I still had some reporters that slipped and called me Fish Guy when reporting to this day.
 
The anchor woman continued, "After shrinking the formerly gargantuan chicken, Pinprick had an encounter with a supervillain who goes by the name 'Dark Lord Charming', a suspected Psionic using a Fairytale prince motif, women of the city are warned that they seem particularly vulnerable to the influence of this villain still on the loose."
Nothing new about the Fumians, or at least that could be connected to them? Yeah, I worried I'd be sucking sewer water for nothing. Okay, clean sewer water if Lady Obsidian's tests came back positive, but still frustrating to dwell on.
 
I finished my cereal and put the bowl and spoon away, the milk went back the fridge and then behind me, the TV continued to chatter: "Incoming news, the Harold J. Powers Middle School is under attack by three individuals in powered armor. We switch now to Brianna Freemont our reporter on the scene."
An attractive woman with a determined set to jaw, as if daring herself to show fear in front of the camera was speaking before the entrance of the school, the doors had been blown open by some kind of blast, maybe an explosive, "It's only been ten minutes since the text for help came through from one of the students. The camera was too blurry to make out the figures, but the description and audio is clear, three powered armored figures terrorizing the children in the school-"
I was already running for the door, and hitting my communicator for the team, "Mabel, I just saw the news. I assume you're already ahead of me, so any details would be welcome. Am I right in that I live closest to Powers Middle School?"
 
"Yes, and yes, you're only two and a half miles away, but you'll have to hoof it the whole trip," She chimed, "Others are on their way."
"Young teenagers in danger? I be surprised if the whole team isn't in on this," Clothes gone on the roof in a bag I kept there for such an occasion, costume on and I was leaping off said roof and hitting the street running, "I'm so sorry about the hovercar."
 
"No point in crying over spilled transport," She said, "Unfortunately, I've got no data on these three figures, even after trying to get a lock on the smart-phone footage, the images don't really fit any supervillains that are on file. They're a bit on the garish side."
 
"I guess I'll see. Whose closest to back up? I would guess Tornado," I sure hoped it was Tornado. His speed would mean we could get more kids out fast as soon as something opened. While the fact I was the 'strong guy' of the team didn't automatically mean I was a klutz, I wouldn't be nearly as good at it as, well, almost anyone else on the team. They might not even see Pinprick. But I'd make do. Maybe I could delay the villains until the others got there.
 
The scene had really picked up in the time it took me to run and bound there. Police had already pulled up and were circling the building. A chopper was overhead. The Reporter who was there first on site now had lots of competition, but she, her crew, and the other media types had been pulled further back with the other reporters and cameramen, and the police were not letting them that close to the door again.
 
Fine by me, less babysitting.
 
The only problem was-
 
"It's one of the New Samaritans!" someone, I think a reporter from channel 13, yelled way too loudly for my tastes. There was no time. In this day an age if they were watching the news the villains would know right away a superhero was on the case. I took a deep breath and leaped through a window hoping I wasn't about to get one of the kids killed.
The hallway I had entered was empty, and so I went into stealth mode again. Okay, it's not like I have a cloaking device, and a grown man in almost any costume is going to stand out in a hallway full of lockers. Still, I moved at a brisk pace and listened for sounds of voices, hoping at the same time I wasn't about to hear screams or shots.
Thank goodness, it wasn't. Instead, I heard crying, sobbing, and other signs of fear.
 
Not that's great, but it’s a hell of a lot better than screams of pain or blasting sounds.
The voices became clearer, more distinct.
 
"You didn't have to hurt her," One girl said simpering.
 
"I tasered her ass, or the equivalent," a distorted static riddled voice came out, "And given how she's ruined lives, she deserves worse, " There was a beat, "She is okay, right?"
Another voice, less static ridden but just as artificial, spoke up, "Slow it down, Laydee Lit, we're here to teach a lesson, that's right, we are serious AF about this. I could cut anyone of you. And you deserve it!"
 
Someone in there broke into a sob, "My parents are rich, they're only making me go to this lameass school because they think it'll keep me from being a brat-"
A third distorted voice spoke up, "Well, that didn't work. Sit down, Bethany. I swear to god I'd punch through your face but your rich parents would probably just buy you a newer prettier one, and you don't deserve it. None of you deserve it!"
 
By this point, I had figured out a few things.
 
One, Ladyee Lit or whatever she called herself, had doubts about what they were doing. All three of the powered armored people had chosen this school as their target for personal reasons. The one who said she could cut them sounded the most likely to go off. And the third one? Oh, lots of anger there too. The first one was the one I might be able to reason with.  Despite having tasered someone. Just the choice to taser showed restraint in a weird way.
 
I considered sliding in baseball style but startling these guys could be dangerous. I needed to get them away from the hostages. Then I realized I had a way to steal a peek. There was someone's glitzy notebook dropped in the hallway, almost mirror like, and that reflective surface might be useful. Waiting for the voices to rise again, I gave it a light shove with my foot and managed to pin it at a useful angle to get a rough look inside the room without showing my face.
 
The middle figure had powered armor with claws, a whole cat motif, rather anime looking in my opinion, her eyes were huge. Somehow the pink touches to the armor did nothing to make those claws look any less dangerous. I didn't recognize the metal, but given the touches I'm not sure anyone short of a metallurgist could.
Another figure the one who I suspect had snarled 'They all deserved it' was wearing something with Greek inspired motifs. It was set up to look like Athena, I'd visited the replica in Nashville's Parthenon, and this was similar, the suit even had the Aegis symbol on the chest plate.
 
But it was the one with the static voiced one that really caught my attention. Laydee Lit's outfit was a dead ringer for Lady Obsidian's armor, but smaller, and with lightning designs over it. It was too different to be part of a frame up attempt.
 
This was a homage.
 
"My god," I said stepping out slow with my hands up, "she would weep to see this." I kept my eyes on Laydee Lit, "To see you, wearing that, scaring these people."
Laydee Lit stepped back as if I had slapped her. No electric field, no battle prep. She might have been ready for someone to come to the rescue, but she wasn't ready for this approach.
 
"It's the Fish Guy!" The woman in the cat armor blurted, her claws did extend, and she took on a hunched stance, ready to spring. I glanced at her feet spacing. They were too close together, western style. She might be a scrapper, but she wasn't a trained fighter. I was hardly a martial artist, but I could tell that much.
The Athena look alike worried me. She had stepped not towards me, but closer to the crowd of kids. I countered by walking slow to join them.
 
"I…" Laydee Lit said, "You don't know what they did, what they all did!"
 
"No, I don't," I admitted, "But I know Lady Obsidian wouldn’t handle it this way. I work with her. I respect her a lot."
 
"She captures villains and brings them to justice," Athena gave a distorted hiss closing on me, "We're teaching villains a lesson. It's the same."
"She takes villains to a trial and jail, and," I said adding a glance to the large crowd, "she doesn't threaten many for the deeds of just a few." I sure hoped I was right about some of these captured kids not being involved, "Are you taking them to the police? To jail? Going to let due process run its course?"
 
"Mabel," I hit the subharmonic in my com, "I need back up, and I need some data about incidents in the last year or so here at this high school. Sooner would be better than later. I hope you're hearing all this."
 
"On the ball, Tiger, and you've got back up on its way. Heck, the whole squad though some are slowed down."
 
Great, all I had to do was delay these girls, and I was sure it was girls in those sets of armor, from killing someone or hurting them so badly that they ruined a lot of lives, including their own.
 
"The police won't do anything, not for a group of rich b**ches whose daddies pay lawyers to hide their involvement. They killed her, they might as well put a knife to her throat!" Athena snapped.
 
"Her name was Florence," Laydee Lit said, "Florence Portly, and her life was hard enough with that last name and a weight condition! Then they started spreading other lies, making photo manipulation, and putting them up where others could see it. They said she had herpes, they said she was a freak! They left things in her locker, on her email, on her phone! We tried to tell her to shake it off, but she couldn't. And then, when she complained-"
"But her grandfather's a judge," the Cat girl pointed a claw at one girl in the crowd, "And her dad is a cop, " She pointed  at another "Everyone blew it off, said Flo was just 'troubled', sure, she was, and those three were the ones troubling her."
 
"I count a lot more than three in this class room," I reminded, "This the new math I've heard tell about?"
"They all stood by! They did nothing! They knew about it! And when we tried to warn them!" Athena slammed forward, and I blocked her looking her in the eyes, she stopped moving, but continued talking, "They did nothing. The cowards! They're guilty too!"
 
"If we'd said anything they would have screwed us over too!" A boy in the pile finally let slip, "After they planted drugs on Jeremy? Are you crazy!  We didn't know Flo was going to, none of us knew! And then she was dead, and what did it matter?"
 
"You can't threaten people for being weak," I told the three armored girls, "That's not going to make any of them stronger, it's just going to make you their new bullies. Don't you think they've had enough of that? Do you really think that's going to teach them anything they didn't know about themselves? They're ashamed, they're scared, and they failed to do the right thing. That doesn't mean they deserve to go from bully to bully each bully thinking they've got the better-"
Athena, who had been nearly nose to nose to me anyway, struck me hard, "Shut up!"  I don't know how old the girl in the suit was, but the tech of that suit hit me forced me to stagger to the side, and I don't stagger easily. I felt that!
 
"He's trying to trick us, he's trying to confuse us! And he's trying to spare Flow's murderers too! Admit it," She yelled at me in that distorted voice, "You're not going to let us take justice for Flo on the three who drove her to hang herself either, are you?"
 
"I'm not going to let you kill them, whatever you call it," I said, "Or even hurt them. I wish I knew more about talking to talk you out of this, but I'm trying to understand. Now you understand me, I will not let you turn yourselves into killers to avenge someone who cannot possibly be any less dead just because you avenged her. You'll have to kill me first."
"You can't stop us all, Queen Kat, kill Ashley! I'll handle fish guy!" And she charged me.
 
Queen Kat said, "On it, Inner Goddess!" Drew her claws and turned on the unconscious tasered girl.
 
Maybe that armor gave her strength and stamina comparable to mine, it sure felt like it, but I certainly had one edge. I knew how to fight. I grabbed  Inner Goddess or whatever her name is by the arm and threw her at Queen Kat before anyone could get gutted.
 
"Fine, if we both have to go through you," Inner Goddess (If that wasn't a sign all the good names are taken I don't know what is) declared, "We will! All together, we can take him."
"We're fighting a superhero" Laydee Lit! protested "That's crazy. It's- we were just supposed to scare them, not kill them!"
 
"In or out," Queen Kat told her as she slashed at me, "There's no middle ground anymore." Blood flowed from my side, and she came close to lancing a kidney. What was this metal made of? This didn't feel like the magic of the spear, it hurt, but I didn't feel that sense of violation I did from the spears empowered by the Eldest.
 
"Your call, Lit," I said, sweeping the legs out from under Queen Kat. She tumbled, I heard some servos whirl and click, the suit was adjusting for its user's lack of expertise and balancing. Internal gyros? Nice, "I'm siding with Lady Obsidian."
 
Inner Goddess hammered me down to one knee, I looked not at her but Laydee Lit, "Who are you siding with? Who do you feel is the hero now?" I wiped my lip.
There was a stream of lightning and Queen Kat's armor was now dancing with sparks as she went down from the electrical onslaught.
Inner Goddess' head whipped around, "Marcy? You back stabbing sell out" Before she could lunge, I put her in a full nelson.
"She's not a sellout, she's being very, very brave, and she's keeping you from becoming a monster. Trust me, sometime in your life, you're going to realize what she's done for you."
 
Inner Goddess shook back, and forth, she struggled, but she wasn't getting out of this. She didn't know how to apply the strength the suit gave her.
"This fight," I said, finally pressing my fingers at the base of the helmet and applying force, until I severed the link between the controlling apparatus in the helmet and the rest of the suit "is over."
 
Inner Goddess collapsed, the weight of her armor too much for her to lift.
 
Laydee Lit just stood there, and for a moment, I thought she would change her mind and fire at me anyway, but no, she was just staring at Queen Kat, still dealing with the fact that she had struck a friend, and more importantly, that it had been the right thing to do.
 
"We did everything wrong," She looked at her still flickering hands, "I did everything wrong. I'm sorry," She turned to face the students she had terrorized, the bad and weak alike.
Only to find they were all gone.  In their place was Lady Obsidian.
 
"Fish Guy we weren't beating you, you, you distracted us so she could save them all," Lit said, "Like a hero should."
"It's Eel, actually, but yes, and you? You did the hard thing, the right thing, and for just one moment, you were a hero too," I told her, "We bought Lady Obsidian time to get them all to safety."
 
"It's Marcy, it's just-" the girl took off her helmet revealing an African American girl who looked thirteen, fourteen tops, "My name is Marcy and I didn't know they were going to kill I-" her eyes welled up with tears as she moved closer to Lady Obsidian who tilted her head.
Then Marcy just sat down, she just sat right down there on the floor and began to cry. Lady Obsidian took her own helmet off, and sat down with the girl putting her arms about her.
"Sshhh shhh, it's okay, Marcy. I'm going to talk to the authorities, I can't promise you justice, but I can promise you will not face injustice alone," Dr. Vivian Vernon, veteran of a decades of superhero battles, took the girl who had been a villain for I suspected less than a half a day, and let her cry herself out.
"Mabel," I asked, "Please tell me you recorded all that? At least the audio I mean? And," I paused, "Did you scan the cellphones in the room?"
"Yes, and some of it is very interesting, I think these three 'villains' may have been onto something , I'm also scanning the tech on the suits by using Lady Obsidian's armor and, wait, the scans just flexed. Are any of you playing with the wiring or –"
Right before my eyes, the suits began to dissolve, going from solid, to metal that looked like mercury, and then straight to gas which smelled a bit like blood and ozone. I sure hoped none of this was toxic. "Mabel, looks like someone is protecting their patents," I glanced at Lady Obsidian for conformation.
Dr. Vernon was still holding Marcy close. The girl's armor was gone, leaving only the blue jeans and "COEXIST" shirt she had worn before.
My team leader answered with a nod and a soft, "Sure seems like Fumian work but let me focus on the more important thing here," And then went right back to whatever she saying to Marcy before I had interrupted.
 
I overheard some of it.
 
"Now the police will be coming here, we can't change that. Your family will be called, and you are going to have to answer a lot of questions and face some consequences for what your part in this. So, will your friends. Now, you are minors, so I'm thinking no names will be released officially, but it may get out unofficially. We'll do what we can to prevent that. I can also tell you that we will investigate what happened to Flo and try to get justice for her, real justice like it should have been the first time. I will get you a top notch defense attorney who is a friend of mine on your case. That won't mean you'll be off the hook but it does mean you'll have a better chance for leniency," Dr. Vernon's voice was soothing, calm, and had that element of dignity that I always wished I could master.
 
Marcy nodded a lot, muttered something about her father, and dried her eyes. At this stage, I got the feeling that as a 'guy' I was about as useful as a third wheel on a motorcycle, "You got it from here, Lady Obsidian?" I asked.
 
"Sure do, you go outside and join the others, Eel," my team leader nodded, "Good job."
 
"Good job yourself," I said with a smile, "I barely saw you slipping the others out of here in force bubbles. Sound muffling ones at that." And I started to leave.
 
"Wait," Marcy called out as I made my way towards the exit.
 
"Yes, Marcy?" I stopped after giving Dr. Vernon a curious glance. She gave me a reassuring nod, so I went on, "What is it?"
 
"I just wanted to say, 'Thank you' for stopping me from," A deep breath, "from becoming a murderer."
 
"You stopped yourself," I said, "I just reminded you of who you are," A glance to my team leader and then back to the teenager, "and maybe who you wanted to be. But, you're welcome."
 

I was going to ask why you only went with 5.5 lies per day, and then I found this:
 
 
Well played, sir.  Well played.

The more I look at that pic, the less I think he's actually touching her.  I freely admit my vision stinks, but it looks like his fingers are not in contact with her clothing.  Still inappropriate as hell, even through body armor.
 
To Old Man's point, Roger Ailes tweeted about the pic before it actually became public knowledge.  With this, her Trumpty-Dumpty support, and being a friend of Hannity, is suspicious to enough of us that we suspect this is all some kind of setup.  We have the damning pic, yes, but everything else, AFAIK, is on the tongue of someone who supports a guy publicly in favor of sexual assault who lies 5.5 times a day to the populace.  The fact that Franken outright said 'bring on the investigation' makes me think he thinks so, too, as opposed to Moore's attempted cover-ups.  At the very least, unlike Moore and Trump, Franken has shown genuine contrition as opposed to deception and pride, respectively; that should count for something.  Heck, she even accepted his apology and said he shouldn't resign (which I actually find suspicious).
 
And in case it wasn't obvious, I freely admit my bias: My loathing of Trump is such that I inherently distrust anybody who supports him.  Loathing is too soft a word.  Saying what I would like to do to him here would violate the code of conduct, terms of service, FCC regulations, common decency, X-Rated Movie restrictions, a half-dozen religious mores, and possibly the Geneva Conventions.

The Orville is on Fox, right?  So we'll know it's successful if Fox cancels it after one season. 

what about small drunk children wearing yoga pants?

I can only a$$ume that that they feel  there is $omething they may have overlooked in the$e and other intellectual propertie$.  $omething they hope will $erve their creative mu$e$ perhap$? But really, whatever it i$ that drive$ corporate attempt$ at creativity I can only gue$$.
 

Ach!  Was getting carried away with SFX (all the clairsentience in my group is airy-fairly mentalist types).
 
Obviously the defence against clairsentience (mechanically) is Darkness (clairsentience)....
 
:-)

The thing is, Clairsentience in and of itself doesn't perceive anything. You build it by defining what senses it uses. Those are definitely subject to Darkness, Invisibility and possibly Flash at the viewing point., same as anyone who was actually at the viewing point.
 
As well, Clairsentience is an Unusual sense in its own right, and can be targeted. If you have Clairsentience (Sight) and someone puts up a Darkness (Clairsentience), it blocks your Clairsentience LoS from the point of view, but if your actual eyes can see the area they won't be blocked (it's not Darkness vs Sight). That's how I interpret it.

I once based a fantasy ranger character on Ranger Gord from the Red Green Show.
 
Lucius Alexander
 
I often base a tagline on a palindromedary

The Orville is on Fox, right?  So we'll know it's successful if Fox cancels it after one season. 

...to which the hot dog vendor said, "That'll be $6.50."  The Buddhist handed him a $20 bill, which the hot dog vendor promptly tucked into his till.
 
The Buddhist asked, "What about my change?"
 

Samantha Carter!
 
Chernobyl vs. Fukushima.
 
 

(More about Eel's relationship, he gets advice, I'm not sure its good advice, but it's what came out at the time)
 
 
 
The meeting broke up. Lady Obsidian had to hit the lab and continue her work. Pinprick, having shrunk Megahicken and then tussled with Dark Lord Charming was going to call his son and keep touch. I wasn't sure what Tornado and Valorosa were up to, but I was seriously considering asking the latter out for dinner.
I was starving. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I ate something.
 
I seriously considered having the chicken. Revenge would be had Extra Crispy this evening.
 
Maybe Ariana and I needed to talk, maybe I needed to let her talk, and listen for a bit. If Fox was right, I had been missing a lot, and she had a lot on her shoulders. I had thought I was the one thinking where this relationship would go. Turns out, Ariana was three steps ahead of me after all.
 
A part of me felt irritated that she hadn't talked to me about this. Telepathy is not one of my powers, and how I'm supposed to know without knowing, barring clairvoyance, was beyond me. On the flipside, mostly I felt- bad. There had been clues, and I had missed them. Fox had to point them out to me. Now that she had, a few of them felt obvious.
Maybe I really was a clueless dumbass?
 
Yeah, I decided dinner and me using my mouth only for eating while Ariana talked might be best. I went looking for her before I decided on drumsticks or wings. Ah, who was I kidding? I always went drumsticks.
 
I heard two voices, a rich confident masculine one, and the other, a delicate feminine voice I had grown to adore hearing in my ear in the morning, both with that touch of Mexican flavoring that made them almost musical, at least to these North Carolina ears.
 
Fortunately for me, it was in English.
 
"I just worry he's not going to change, never going to want more," Ariana said, "he doesn't seem to care for anything but-" words failed her.
"Except for saving the lives of strangers, and stopping bad people from doing bad things," Valentino returned, "And he's got a thing for protecting post offices."
"It's not fair putting it that way," She said in a tone of irritation that she was as annoyed with him having a point as she was with him taking up my side, "We already knew he was brave, selfless, and noble-"
 
And good looking, I wanted to add as I found myself pressing against a wall to avoid being seen if they came this way. Was I eavesdropping? Yes, yes, I was.
She continued, "-It's what drew me to him, it's why I feel the way I feel about him, but now? I want more, more  for him than he himself does, and," her voice caught in a way that made my heart ache, "maybe more for us. That's only reasonable, isn't it?"
 
"Let me understand this, he was everything you thought you wanted," Valentino said gently, "Now, you have decided that may not be enough. And somehow, he's not only supposed to realize this all on his own, he's supposed to change his priorities, his very life, like that? I'm not sure reasonable is the word I'd use. A man, even a good man, is a man, Ariana- not a set of clothing that can be touched or tailored. In your head, you know this. It's your heart that's confused. The only person who can change a person is that person. I'm sorry. Be honest with him, and hope, that's all you can do but don't get so excited about what might be you lose track of what good you've got."
 
"Lose track of it, Tino? Don't you see, if I weren't so happy with what I had, it wouldn't hurt so much to think on how I may end up having to walk away from it, from him. I'm scared and-" And then, the voices stopped.
 
I thought I heard a soft sob, and soft mutterings of reassurance.
 
And, I found I didn't have the courage to see what exactly what was going in that hallway, even if I had a very good idea.
I couldn't face that.
 
I wouldn't know what to say, and if she spurned my attempt to make it right, my putting a hand on her shoulder; her pushing both away?  I don't think I could have taken that.
I never felt more like a wuss than I did that moment as I walked away to hunt down a meal that I realized would now be a lot less satisfying.
For the first time in a long while, I felt a powerful need to take this damn mask off.
 
Aaron opened the door to our apartment with a buxom black clad chick on his arm. The busty woman with him had short hair with a ripple of colors not to be found in nature. Not that Aaron Mitzhim is typical himself. A Punk Rocker looking for the chance to sell out, so he could support family, Aaron has the mohawk, nose ring, and vulgar t shirt. Yet, he never fails to visit his grandmother at least once a week and make sure she's okay. He seemed to thrive on riling even his own fans, but I'd gotten to know him, and as alien as he was to this Southern Boy, I'd come to realize one thing about him.
 
Aaron Mitzhim is good people.
 
He was also a surprised person as his eyes fell on me on the couch. I was a classy sight in my sweat pants, Panthers tee shirt, and bare feet with my mouth tearing into an extra-crispy drumstick. Con-Air was playing on the TV, and quite deliberately so, as I'd put it in the DVD player. I really did use the apartment for sleep chiefly. If you discounted slumber, I was here infrequently at best.
 
"Oh, Sorry, Aaron, ma'am," I realized I sounded more country than usual. I guess my mind was so preoccupied that my accent was on maximum, "I can ah, go somewhere."
"Uhm, hey," The woman said, giving me an uncertain look, then Aaron an eager one. Yeah, he was gonna score tonight.
I started to rise, then Aaron surprised me. He turned to the girl and said, "Hey, ZJ, I'll catch you another night. We'll get it jumpin then." He said it with such confidence that I was a bit amazed. He really thought she'd just go along with that and score with her later at his convenience?
"Cool," she shrugged, kissed him, and slipped out.
 
My jaw nearly fell open at that, "How do musicians do it?"
 
"With style, my talentless friend," He flumped next to me, rather rudely snatched a wing from my bucket, and then said, "Who died?"
"You're lucky you didn't take a drumstick, buddy," I grumbled, then said, "How did you know I was down?"
 
"Oh please, just because you're rarely here doesn't mean I'm blind, man. You told me you were a private kind of guy, and that if I asked you no questions you'd tell me no lies. Cool by me. But I do notice things, and you only put Con Air in the player when you're depressed or really feeling down," He said.
 
"Hey, heroic southern boy undeservedly goes to jail, serves his time, saves the day, and gets a few good one liners out all so he can get back to family with honor. I'm telling you the film is an underappreciated masterpiece," I insisted, and perhaps not for the first time.
 
"Uh huh," Aaron tore into the meat and looked at me, "Now, back to the core subject. Who the hell rained on your parade? Did your favorite football team lose again?"
"Please, if you knew my father you'd know I've been used to cheering on bad teams and rolling with it," I grinned, but I could see he would keep pressing, "you know Ariana, right?"
"Hot sexy short spicy?" He answered, "yeah, you two are serious. She dump you, man?"
 
"No, but I'm worried she might," I confessed to him, "It, it's gotten more serious for her than I thought, and I feel the same way, but, I –"
"Whoa, wait, you two feel the same way about your relationship? I mean, both of you are getting thoughtful about where this might go, so it's scary because it could be so good?"
"Yeah," I said a bit annoyed he'd cut in. If he was going to have me confess he could at least let me explain, " I mean it could. It really could."
"Congratulations man," He grinned.
 
"Dude, I just told you she might dump me, because I'm not, well," How to explain this without talking about Eel? "I've got no direction, no ambition, nothing practical anyway, and she's worried if she lets it get any more serious she's going to watch me get hurt and get hurt herself. And hurting her is the last thing I want to do, but I- none of the regular stuff, the nine to five, the making big bucks, none of that appeals to me. I'm not called to that. I mean, I'm willing to do it, to make the rent-"
"Good news for me," He munched.
 
"-But," I continued confused at his chipper attitude, "They say you can only change because you want to change, because of what you want. You can't do it for other people."
"True, too true," He threw the wing bone away and started to reach for another one, "You have to have your own reason to want to change. You've got to have something a bit selfish involved or it's just a sham unfair to others as well as yourself."
 
Annoyed, I nevertheless tilted the bucket his way towards him, "So you see my problem, why are you looking so hunky dory about it?"
 
"Hunky Dory? God, people still say that in this century?" He shook his head and I couldn't help but noticed this time he'd snagged a drumstick. Oh, he was pushing his luck and didn't even know it, "I'm happy for you, man, because most people don’t' get that far. The fact you're afraid of losing what you got is proof that it's a blessing to have. And you even have something you want, just for yourself, selfish as get out."
 
"What's that?" I was almost sure we were speaking different languages right now.
 
"Ariana," He said, "You want Ariana. Not just to practice the infinite combination of the numbers six and nine in all their many sacred geometrical sets, but you want her maybe the big L-O-V-E. All this time, I pretty much guessed you were shacking up at her place instead of staying here. It's all in how you look at it. You can't change for her, but maybe for yourself to get her? That you might manage."
 
"That almost makes sense," I confessed after a moment, "But how do I know it's for me too and not just for her?"
"Don't tell her, try the change, and see how it goes. If it works for you, hey, you let her in on it, if not, then you learned something wasn't for you, that it didn't work for you, and no more chance of her leaving you than before," He bit down, "It's like the movie Grease. A lot of people whine about how Sandra Dee had to change herself to get Danny forget that Danny changed too. He went from Rebel to Jock. Now I'm sure a lot of folks will go "But ..she tramped it up", never mind that she was still, as far as we know,  a one man woman. Hell, she made up her mind it was him. I know a lot of girls who dress more conservatively but act a lot more trampishly than that in real life. So why did she change? Just to get his attention? Or maybe she was tired of being scared of her own sexual power. Maybe she liked the look and didn't care if she got judged as a 'bad girl' anymore. I'm sure I'm reading some wrong things into it. But the way I see it? The two of them both seem a lot happier with the changes. Even on their own, Sandra would have had guys lining up and had good friends to pal around with. Danny bragged about lettering. Maybe they did it to win each other, or even a meeting in the middle, but they also learned more about themselves. What you have here is a chance for self-discovery of who you, Caleb Lambert are. Why automatically assume it's a loss that this chance has opened up?"
 
The metaphorical dawning happened, and I admitted, "Aaron, you're a genius."
 
"Nah, I'm a musician. I've got like the power of hundreds of love songs, and just as many 'finding myself musical moments' to draw on," He waved it off, "So what now?"
"I am watching the rest of this movie," I told him, "Then, I have things to look into. A few of them actually for myself, and if I end up wowing my girl so much she squees, that's just gravy."
"Fine, we'll watch the redneck hero save the day," He leaned back and enjoyed the food, "But whoever you change into?"
"Yeah?" I looked at him curiously.
"Make sure he pays his rent at least until I can find a new roomie?" Aaron asked.
"Deal," I smiled "And, thanks." When the movie ended, with the folksy hero triumphant (as it always should be) I got up. There were things to look into.
Maybe I was going to do somethings for the wrong reasons before this was said and done, maybe I'd do it for the right and get it right, but since when was I the sort to quit before I began?