BoloOfEarth

I came home from shopping and told my wife that two girls were checking me out at the mall.  I told her, "They were really admiring my waistline and my rear end."
 
"Oh, really?" she said skeptically.
 
"Sure," I replied.  "One looked at me and said, 'What a waste!"  And the other said, 'Yeah, what an a**!'"

I came home from shopping and told my wife that two girls were checking me out at the mall.  I told her, "They were really admiring my waistline and my rear end."
 
"Oh, really?" she said skeptically.
 
"Sure," I replied.  "One looked at me and said, 'What a waste!"  And the other said, 'Yeah, what an a**!'"

After a particularly mild winter in small town, the place became infected with squirrels in the spring. Because the local churches had the best trees, the squirrels often congregated (pun intended) near them and this is what each church decided to do about the pesky animals.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a waterslide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.
But the Catholic church came up with their own strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Someone stole all my lamps, you'd think I'd be upset. Actually I'm de-lighted!

What he's not telling you is, this is his phone.
 

What he's not telling you is, this is his phone.
 

What he's not telling you is, this is his phone.
 

What he's not telling you is, this is his phone.
 

IME, 90% of the non-clergy people who spout off about what the Bible says, have hardly (if at all) read it.  

Oh, cool!
So they dont have to wait for April 15?
 
 

A year or more too late, IMO:  Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy to resign from Congress at year-end (msn.com)

Rich McGee, all I can say is:  
 
Especially loved the reference to the Greatest American Hero.
 
Okay, I've copied down the text and picture, and will absolutely have him appear in my Champions campaign.  I'm sure my players will get a kick out of him.

Rich McGee, all I can say is:  
 
Especially loved the reference to the Greatest American Hero.
 
Okay, I've copied down the text and picture, and will absolutely have him appear in my Champions campaign.  I'm sure my players will get a kick out of him.

Complaints, complaints.  The burning in your eyes and the throbbing headache will pass when you finish your entry.  It's supposed to be a challenge, and so it is. 
 
So here's my take on him:
 
Mangorilla's latest rampage had been going on for about ten minutes when the first superhero showed up on the scene.  The big ape-man had snatched a police car off the ground and was just starting to swing it down on the pair of officers who'd been crouched behind it when a streak of color flashed by.  A pair of red-gloved hands wrenched his improvised weapon loose in passing, setting it down gently as the super touched down a few yards away.  Staggering, the furious villain wheeled around...and stopped cold in surprise as he saw his opponent.
 
"Who the hell are you?" Mangorilla grunted, a sneer spreading across his bestial features.
 
"Hadn't really decided on that yet, but it didn't seem like the right time to worry about a supranym with lives in danger.  Let's just say I'm the guy who's going to put you back in jail."
 
"Ha!  Big talk, but I suppose you have to be pretty gutsy just to go out in public like that!"
 
"Seriously?  You're going with that?"
 
"Better get used to it until you get a better tailor.  What were you thinking with that costume?  I thought the Particolored Man was an eyesore, but you - I'll be doing you a favor beating you senseless before the news crews show up so you're not caught on camera like that."
 
The newcomer sighed as Mangorilla leapt forward, furry fists swinging - and then he stepped forward, delivered a single efficient uppercut and stepped aside as the unconscious brute collapsed in an untidy heap.
 
"Well, that could have gone worse." he thought as the police advanced warily.  "He should be out for a while, officers.  If you want I can deliver him somewhere?"
 
"Uh, no, we've got backup on the way with a containment truck and lifting equipment." the sergeant replied.  He looked askance at the unfamiliar super.  "You new at this?  I don't recognize you and that costume's...uh...pretty distinctive."
 
The hero sighed again.  "Yes, this is my first time in public.  Went through some MONITOR training when I realized I had powers, and they did a lot of testing before they figured out what I could do exactly."
 
"Well, MONITOR knows their stuff, but...did they talk to you about, y'know, PR and stuff?  That stuff's pretty important for you supers in the long run."
 
"This is about the costume, isn't it?"
 
The sergeant's partner desperately smothered a laugh.  "Well, you have to admit it's...pretty colorful.  Wait, is this one of those alien super-suit deals where you get your powers from it?  Like that schoolteacher back in the Seventies?  I didn't mean to..."
 
"No, it's not quite that simple.  But MONITOR told me not to talk about it too much, so..."
 
At that moment a news van squealed to a halt nearby, the cameraman leaping out with his rig already running.  As he swept the camera around the scene he froze as the most garishly-dressed super he'd ever seen came into his viewfinder.  And laughed.  A dark-haired reporter kicked his shin as she advanced, microphone in hand.  "Hello there. I'm Mary Morgan from TV12 news and I'd like an interview.  I'm afraid I don't recognize you, sir.  May I ask what your supranym is for the viewers at home?"
 
The hero restrained a sigh this time and looked down at his brilliantly-colored outfit, complete with that godawful belt buckle logo and the fake muscles.  Well, fine, he'd known this going to be a problem, so he might as well lean into it.  Besides, he'd always liked his dad's ZZ Top albums.
 
"Well, ma'am, you can just call me the Sharp-Dressed Man."
 
 
 
Mitch Salvatore discovered he had superpowers on Halloween night.  It was a complete accident.  His parents had never celebrated the holiday and he'd grown up without all the costumes and trick-or-treating and pumpkin-carving stuff.  But when a co-worker invited him to costume party on October 31st he'd thrown together a lame superhero costume using some gym shorts, a towel for a cape and a stupid lightning logo pinned to his chest just to fit in.  That turned out to be fortunate when a couple of muggers jumped him (and his date the Sexy Librarian) on the way to the party.  The first one broke three fingers when he punched Mitch in the nose (which remained very unbroken) and the second one broke his flip knife on that stupid paper logo like it was hardened steel.  Mitch was surprised but not dumb, and discovered he could pick two grown men up and knock their heads together without a struggle.  Also had to be careful about not cracking his girlfriend's ribs when he gave her a triumphant hug afterward.
 
It was much later that night he discovered his powers vanished when he was naked, but that's between him and the Sexy Librarian.  They also didn't seem to work when he showered and dressed the next day - until he tried pinning on his "cape" again, and then he was stronger than normal but not on par with last night, and he still nicked himself shaving.
 
Thoroughly confused, he called a 900 number for MONITOR's "superpower breakout" hotline, and within a few hours he was enrolled in their testing and training program while their experts tried to figure things out.  It wasn't long before they decided he had what they called a "psychosomatic power set" that was tied to some element of his subconscious and how it regarded his current wardrobe.  His impromptu Halloween costume had granted him "street level" hero abilities, but after some time (well, a lot - months worth) the scientists found he had a lot more potential than just that.  A whole lot more.  They eventually found that his subconscious preformed at absolute optimum when he was wearing...well, look at that image.  
 
It was almost enough to put him off the whole idea of hero work, but MONITOR could be pretty persistent with someone whose peak performance was up in the top 1% of known supers.  Mitch was eventually convinced to "do the right thing" as his trainers put it, and has begun making a name for himself as the Sharp-Dressed Man.  A silly name, and one connected to a ludicrous costume, but he's still doing good deeds and saving people from danger.
 
The Sharp-Dressed Man is a classic FISS and ranks well up in the top tier in terms of power level when he's in full costume, as well as having the ability to electrify himself at will, with voltages ranging from merely stunning to a full-on lightning bolt.  His outfit is as indestructible as he is, making disrobing him in combat fairly tricky even for those who understand his powers - which are still fairly few.  His extended testing period with MONITOR also led him to getting a lot of training time, so he's quite a bit more clued-in to how the supers community really works than most relative newbies.
 
That same testing period found that he can manifest weaker but still useful levels of power without the full costume.  A simple belt with that logo grants him about the same street-level strength and toughness as he originally manifested, as well as enough electrical generation to sting, mess up most electronics, jump-start a car or recharge his phone, although he can't fly.  Adding a domino mask almost doubles his durability and physical strength as well as speeding his reaction time, and accessorizing with red gloves (even less tacky ones) help even more.  No matter how "dressed" he is he can't seem to fly without the tights and boots, and he's not great at it unless in the full costume.
 
Perhaps not the most serious of concepts, but it's way better than getting random powers from a rotary phone dial many readers today will never have seen. 

Frickin' finally!
 
Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Frickin' finally!
 
Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Frickin' finally!
 
Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Take a holiday, naturally.
 

Frickin' finally!
 
Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Wonderful team of CLOWN 🤡  (who else?)
 
NT: Santa Claus is on strike this year,  no one will get anything.  Who will take his place and how will they operate?

Frickin' finally!
 
Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Foxbat.
 
Come on, this is a Hero Games forum! Who else would it be?

Okay, I'm in.  Once again I refuse to do the obvious despite humming They Might Be Giants' "Particle Man" the whole time I was doing this writeup.  Instead, two different sets of obscure references for added inspiration:
 
Primary 
 
EMT Maxwell Morgan received his powers by pure happenstance while tending to civilian casualties from the Cosmo-God Omegos' attack on New York City.  Caught in a wave of energies refracted through the Prism Absolute, he found himself able to control a spectrum of exotic energies hitherto unknown to Earthly science.  Adopting the heroic identity of Primary, he now uses his fantastic abilities to help protect the innocent from superhuman threats and heal those injured in body, mind and soul.     His circle of friends and fellow ambulance service volunteers are still unaware of his dual identity, but the struggle to balance his responsibilities between the two roles grows harder every day.  The situation is further complicated by invitations to join no less than three hero teams, all of who are offering to help train him in the use of complex power set - something Maxwell feels he badly needs, as he's getting a bit overwhelmed with the whole hero gig.   As Primary he displays a remarkable range of abilities, although he can only manifest one group of them at a time, with the color aura radiating from his forehead changing to match his current mode.  Each color offers a very different set of powers:   Blue - Enhanced intelligence and problem-solving, potent telepathy and telekinesis Red - Augmented physical strength and durability, coherent light and heat projection  Yellow - Creation of simple but durable energy constructs, radiant light emission that heals injuries (physical or otherwise) while dealing terrible damage to supernatural entities of malign nature   Switching between power sets is near-instantaneous but requires concentration that he doesn't always have to spare during a crisis.   Maxwell wasn't the only person to have been accidentally empowered the day Omegos was defeated.  He's clashed several times with a casually larcenous time manipulator/speedster calling herself Clockstopper who radiates an aura of orange light that resonates with his own when in red or yellow mode.  He's also experienced similar resonance while being attacked by a villain known as the Unquiet, a glowing green spectral entity who can appear and vanish along with its undead minions in a miasma of purple energy.  Who these villains were before their transformation and what their connection to Primary may lead to is an ongoing mystery.  

Thanks to Rich McGee and I agree that Duke Bushido was the real winner. Also he is a coward making up some excuse about his phone just so he wouldn't have to pick an image! 😃
 
Sorry if this is a bit boring or convential of an image and I hope it hasn't been used previously, I just wanted to get something up fast to keep things going.

Power Master
 
They called themselves The Three Champions--three friends who, on a camping trip in the American Northwest, discovered deep inside a cave an altar with three different colored triangular gems which conferred tremendous powers and abilities to whoever wielded them.  They fought crime, saved lives, helped clean up after natural and man-made disasters--all with a smile and a few kind words for their admirers.  People called them heroes.  Life was good.
 
Then came The Hellfather, who after many years of planning and superhero-inflicted setbacks, was finally ready to make the Earth into his own infernal paradise.  The Three Champions stopped him, apparently once and for all--but it was not without cost.  Two of the Three gave their lives to contain the blast of the Inferno Bomb, which consumed them along with The Hellfather.  The surviving member was so distraught that he gave up superheroics--or so everyone thought.
 
Actually, he had no intention of retiring.  He went into seclusion, where he trained himself to use his powers more effectively--and more forcefully.  And when The Hellfather returned--as he knew he would--he was there to stop him, and beat him within a millimeter of his life.  Ignoring the cheers of the public and the protests of the authorities, he took off without a word--and without a smile as well.
 
As The Power Master, he continues to fight crime, save lives, help those who need it--but it's not fun anymore.  He doesn't smile, doesn't hang out with the public, doesn't make appearances for charity like he did with The Three Champions.  He just charges in, takes care of business, and departs as quickly as he left.  And if you're a supervillain or anyone else who's inclined to hurt innocents or cause harm for its own sake-your affairs had better be in order.