BlackCobra Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from our "Fantasy Game Which Must Not Be Named": Our heroes are trying to deal with a large army of orcs, bugbears and minotaurs. The encampment is divided into sections or semi-circular bands: orc, bugbear and leaders (with the minotaurs). Osbourne OOC: "What's at the edge of the orc band?" Jessica OOC: "The orc mosh pit?" ------------------- Two of the very lawful players in the group are trying to figure out how to create a distraction so they can sneak out. It isn't going really well. Belleric OOC: "You're so lawful, you couldn't create choas in an orc camp!" ------------------- Jessica OOC:"It's bigger than a standard quasit, it's a walk-in quasit!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a Space Opera game set in a home-brewed universe. Toshi- an Ilmiro (think Kitsune) with precognitive abilities. An NPC. Driev- Another Ilmiro and follower of the galactic way, and researcher of human culture. A PC Jesse- 14 year old human pilot. Supergenius. A PC Jurgen (me)- 7 and a half foot tall soldier, based on Heavy Weapons Guy from TF2. Complete with Sasha. Also a gourmet chef. also a PC Jurgen has promised Driev and Toshi that he would make them hamburgers once he gets the ingredients. One of our mechanics, Dante, has broken our ship, so we set down on a planet to enact repairs. Driev and Toshi are tired of waiting, so they grab Jesse and Toshi's "psychologist" Dr. Glass, and gone off to find a diner. Toshi- "Wait, so these come from a cow?" Jesse- "Yep." Driev- "But, that iced cream stuff Jurgen showed us yesterday is from cows too, right?" Jesse- "Uh huh." Toshi- :staring at his burger, breathless: "Wow." Driev- "Can we see a cow?" Toshi- : perks up : Jesse- "Uh, I don't know..." Toshi- "I want a cow!" Jesse- "We can't have a cow on a spaceship!" Driev and Toshi- "Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase!" Jesse- "No!" Ally (GM, OOC)- "At this point, Toshi just wants to see the Magical Meat Beast." Driev- "We'll take care of it! We can name it Frank!" Meanwhile, back on the ship, Jurgen's "stupid sense" is tingling. and that's where we ended our last session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quotes of the Week from my 7-year old... Maya: Daddy, do you know what my favorite thing to eat is? Me: What? Maya: Chocolate. Me: That's what I thought. Maya: You know what my second favorite thing to eat is? Me: Hmmm... no, what? Maya: Red Jelly Beans. Me: Okay. That's kind of specific, but I can see that... Maya: Chocolate jelly beans taste like farts. Me: How do you know that? Maya: Cuz it tastes like farts smell... and Brianna (my eldest) farted in my mouth once. Me: And she greets my friend coming in... Maya: Hi Shawn! Shawn: Hi, Maya. Maya: My daddy can make his man-boobs dance! Shawn: Me: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And from our Shadowrun 4e Game this week... The party enters Annie Oakley's, a brothel with an old west theme... Grief (a Troll): So are there any women in here wearing spurs? GM: Yes. Spurs, cowboy boots, gunbelts, lassos, cowboy hats... Grief: Bridles? GM: Ummm... no, not at the moment... ? Mike (OOC): He wants a pony girl! Grief: I do like a burly women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And from our Shadowrun 4e Game this week... The party enters Annie Oakley's, a brothel with an old west theme... Grief (a Troll): So are there any women in here wearing spurs? GM: Yes. Spurs, cowboy boots, gunbelts, lassos, cowboy hats... Grief: Bridles? GM: Ummm... no, not at the moment... ? Mike (OOC): He wants a pony girl! Grief: I do like a burly women. Either there's a 'furry' subgenre in SH, or there's a hidden context in there somewhere... Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from our "Fantasy Game Which Must Not Be Named": Our heroes are trying to deal with a large army of orcs, bugbears and minotaurs. The encampment is divided into sections or semi-circular bands: orc, bugbear and leaders (with the minotaurs). Osbourne OOC: "What's at the edge of the orc band?" Jessica OOC: "The orc mosh pit?" ------------------- Two of the very lawful players in the group are trying to figure out how to create a distraction so they can sneak out. It isn't going really well. Belleric OOC: "You're so lawful, you couldn't create choas in an orc camp!" ------------------- Jessica OOC:"It's bigger than a standard quasit, it's a walk-in quasit!" The Lawful characters want to create a diversion in an orc camp? Easy. Just have them take a stroll through the camp. Once the orcs get over their shock, there'll be a more than sufficient diversion for the rest of the party to do whatever they need to. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our campaign is winding up. What follows is Part One of the two-issue finale "Thirty Seconds Over Kingdom City" The Great Old Ones are rising, multiple universes are being overwhelmed, and Doctor Destroyer has been brought back as a undead revenant to stop us from welding shut the holes in reality with a truckload of planet-busting nukes. Undead Dr. Destroyer: "The Doctor is no more. Now there is only the Destroyer" At least that narrows our options. Altho there's still a chance that if we can pour enough healing magic into the corpse we can get Zerstoiten back - thus making the Skeleton Crew a team that not only rescued Mechanon but brought Doctor Destroyer back from the dead. I wasn't expecting many quotes from this session - but there was still a fair amount of gallows humour and unintentional comedy. Sundog GM : "Felicity, you knock up Doctor Destroyer. The Gunney : We had a California Redwood struggling with the nebraskan climate - now Doctor Destroyer has solved the problem. It's also just as well that Vitus still had one vial left of the Hexachrom D that he secretly traded off of Warcry in return for the truce between the Skeleton Crew and the War Machine. Vitus : As the redwood is reduced to matchsticks I reach to my belt and take the last of those three vials I got off Warcry. I know what it might do to me, but given that the two most likely outcomes today are I die or the universe comes to an end, I can live with any theoretical withdrawal symptoms. Orca OOC : "I've got a Gunney and I'm not afraid to use it" Magister *singing* OOC : "I didn't knoooooow the Gunney was loaded" Specter OOC : "He isn't, his secret ID is." The Gunney : "I'm going to do something incredibly stupid. I'm a hero, it's allowed." Vitus : "You could hit Destroyer with the Gunney - he's used to being used as a blunt instrument by now." Orca does a very creditable job of keeping Destroyer on the ground and occupied, and Magister quips. Magister : "What's the difference between a lawyer and a football? You only get six points for kicking a football between the uprights." Felicity OOC : What's Hiro doing here? Spectre OOC : He wanted to see the beginning of the world and got the wrong end The Spectre intends to plow into The Destroyer with a super-zeppelin. Jasmine/3 : "Not the Mile-high Club ballroom!" Specter : "I'll build another - well, when I say I , I mean we... And when I say we, I mean the Gunney." Vitus takes the opportunity to rant at Destroyer a bit as he moves himself into position to draw fire. Vitus : "I want you to know that I blame you for this - if you'd looked beyond my obvious role in the end of your world, you wouldn't now be the slave of the Outer Gods. I'm qlippothic myself! Every poet, every dreamer, every wizard with the spark of divine madness to reshape the world with our words is a facet of Iok-Sokot!" And thanks to that mutagenic drug and his already formidable magic and hand-to-hand combat skills, Vitus then took a 30d6 killing attack to the face without flinching, and knocked Destroyer back so hard he landed somewhere off the gaming table. F*** YEAH! So much for being, as Destroyer put it, " - nothing, beast." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinecone Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Lawful characters want to create a diversion in an orc camp? Easy. Just have them take a stroll through the camp. Once the orcs get over their shock, there'll be a more than sufficient diversion for the rest of the party to do whatever they need to. Major Tom Didn't they at least Consider Streaking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Weldun GM : "But you don't know what Black Paladin looks like sans armour." Miss Chaos : "And we don't know what Talisman looks like with clothes on." Purrdence : *shrugs* "It's only chocolate." Weldun : *stares* "Drhoz, assure me your wife is in fact female?" Barbara discusses being robbed for the second time this year : "It's bad enough being robbed, but being robbed by complete incompetents..." Amongst other things they left multiple perfect handprints on the sash windows they were trying to open. The police were very pleased. This lead to discussion of competent housebreaking. Weldun : "oh wait, they didn't wear gloves. They were incompetent - and I have no criminal record." On the possibility of running into the 130,000 Missing Inflatable Breasts. Sundog : And in a few years someone will escape a desert island on a raft made of breasts. Weldun : The USS Boobyprize. Which lead up to taking Bush to the Australian beach our presumably late Prime Minister Harold Holt presumably drowned at, and inviting him to follow his example. Weldun : "Go ahead and have a dip, it's a famous beach. Holt swam here right up until the day he died." Miss Chaos : "I'm finding it a bit difficult to fly along with a swinging bouy underneath." Zero : "Swinging. Boy." Weldun : This is San Francisco." Weldun : "I wanted to knock his EGO below one." Miss Chaos : "So, you wanted Zero on zero." Weldun : "Yes." Miss Chaos : "There's a sick thought." Weldunet al : "Ewwarrrgh!!!" Zero : "We are not flying the Golden Gate Bridge to Alcatraz.For one thing it's been done. " Miss Chaos : "I could always age it to destruction..." Trawler : Why bother? I could always punch the middle section out. Zero : Why are we even having this conversation? Miss Chaos : We've got to do some cultural damage. Weldun GM : This isn't cultural damage, it's major collateral damage! Trawler : So what do the authorities think of five obvious superhumans having this conversation in the middle of the GGB? Weldun GM : *turns to NPC cop*. You nervous yet? Don't worry, we're just passing the time until the supervillain takes the sightseeing Tour of Alcatraz Weldun GM : Barbara logic can brain my damage Best without context Terminus : "Everyone is Menton's buttmonkey." Weldun GM : "Vitus - Undoing decades of human-superhuman relations since.... Yesterday." Weldun GM : "Stop correcting me or I'll throw the book at you" *wielding 5th Ed.* Miss Chaos : "Right, I'm taking my dress off..." Weldun GM : "And you're trying to avoid attention? Terminus : "If we arrest them we can always un-arrest them later." Weldun : "If you kill them it's a lot harder to bring them back from the dead." Zero OOC : "Unless you're a Marvel editor." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Either there's a 'furry' subgenre in SH, or there's a hidden context in there somewhere... Major Tom Pony Girls fall closer to the BDSM side than the Fury side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Either there's a 'furry' subgenre in SH, or there's a hidden context in there somewhere... Major Tom Uhm... look up 'pony play' some time. Just not while you're at work.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Cooooooo loo coo coo coo loo coo coooooooooo! Take off, Hoser! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Take off' date=' Hoser![/quote'] So, like what if Enforcer talked like TV Canadians, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our Space Opera game tonight For the sake of the humor aspect, remember, my character, Jurgen, is based primarily off of this guy. Accent and all. Jurgen (Me): "If you bring pigs back to the ship, you do realize I'm going to write on them with a sharpie "Monday, Tuesday..." Dante OOC: "And section them off, breakfast, lunch, dinner..." Ally GM OOC: Try new Satan-O's Me OOC: They're sacrilicious! Jurgen: I would ask why there is a panicked chicken running around my ship, but, I have learned, that with this crew, I should not ask questions that I will regret knowing the answer to. Seuss: Fresh Eggs! Jurgen: I said I do not wish to know. Eva (NPC) (also with the same accent as me): How do you deal with these people? I feel as if I am losing my grip on sanity. Jurgen: I usually just zone out and think about puppies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our Space Opera game tonight For the sake of the humor aspect, remember, my character, Jurgen, is based primarily off of this guy. Accent and all. Jurgen (Me): "If you bring pigs back to the ship, you do realize I'm going to write on them with a sharpie "Monday, Tuesday..." Dante OOC: "And section them off, breakfast, lunch, dinner..." Ally GM OOC: Try new Satan-O's Me OOC: They're sacrilicious! Jurgen: I would ask why there is a panicked chicken running around my ship, but, I have learned, that with this crew, I should not ask questions that I will regret knowing the answer to. Seuss: Fresh Eggs! Jurgen: I said I do not wish to know. Eva (NPC) (also with the same accent as me): How do you deal with these people? I feel as if I am losing my grip on sanity. Jurgen: I usually just zone out and think about puppies. Is anyone else picturing Jurgen Von Strangle* in this role? *He's the 6-foot-tall Fairy wearing a wifebeater, camo pants and combat boots from the Fairly Oddparents. He enforces Da Rules! This guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A couple of quotes from the 1960s supers game, then some from the new Pathfinder campaign one of my roomies started ------------------ Goblin (OOC): Its the kind of Punk band where it sounds like theyre just squeezing a Pit Bull into the microphone for half an hour ------------ Star Ranger: ...So I used my federal credentials to go in, look around, and buy you a cheesecake. ------------ ------------ Varga the Barbarienne: Ive gotten much better at not standing in the animal traps ------------- GM: So....Rhiannon is basically "the littlest Roherrim?" Rhiannon: -------------- Rhiannon (OOC): Badminton in the Land of Nod! ------------- GM: It appears to be an ancient Dakani Goblin tomb. Rhiannon: We should be all right, so long as we dont defile anything. I mean, Goblins are Goblins, but tombs are tombs! Metrion the Black (OOC): Thats very Zen. Rhiannon (OOC): Is it? ;P ---------------- GM: Then there comes a CRACK of lightning SO loud... Rhiannon (OOC): That you almost dont hear me squeak! ---------------- GM: Inside the chest you find a circlet, that looks as though its made of twined black thorns Metrion the Black (OOC): If I put it on, maybe someone will come along and nail me up to something! --------------- GM: The coins are all stamped with the symbol of Bane; God of Tyranny Chyra the Sorceress (OOC): But its still gold! --------------- GM: Whats your damage roll? Metrion (OOC): 2 points! .....Its like basketball, only sadder. -------------- Rhiannon: Um...where are the pants for this armor? Shopkeeper: Its "subligar". It doesnt have pants. You wear the breastplate, the helmet, the gauntlets, the g-string, and the boots. Rhiannon: [Later] Chyra: Why didnt you buy that armor? Rhiannon: It was 50% off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A couple of quotes from the 1960s supers game, then some from the new Pathfinder campaign one of my roomies started ------------------ Goblin (OOC): Its the kind of Punk band where it sounds like theyre just squeezing a Pit Bull into the microphone for half an hour ------------ Star Ranger: ...So I used my federal credentials to go in, look around, and buy you a cheesecake. ------------ ------------ Varga the Barbarienne: Ive gotten much better at not standing in the animal traps ------------- GM: So....Rhiannon is basically "the littlest Roherrim?" Rhiannon: -------------- Rhiannon (OOC): Badminton in the Land of Nod! ------------- GM: It appears to be an ancient Dakani Goblin tomb. Rhiannon: We should be all right, so long as we dont defile anything. I mean, Goblins are Goblins, but tombs are tombs! Metrion the Black (OOC): Thats very Zen. Rhiannon (OOC): Is it? ;P ---------------- GM: Then there comes a CRACK of lightning SO loud... Rhiannon (OOC): That you almost dont hear me squeak! ---------------- GM: Inside the chest you find a circlet, that looks as though its made of twined black thorns Metrion the Black (OOC): If I put it on, maybe someone will come along and nail me up to something! --------------- GM: The coins are all stamped with the symbol of Bane; God of Tyranny Chyra the Sorceress (OOC): But its still gold! --------------- GM: Whats your damage roll? Metrion (OOC): 2 points! .....Its like basketball, only sadder. -------------- Rhiannon: Um...where are the pants for this armor? Shopkeeper: Its "subligar". It doesnt have pants. You wear the breastplate, the helmet, the gauntlets, the g-string, and the boots. Rhiannon: [Later] Chyra: Why didnt you buy that armor? Rhiannon: It was 50% off Rhiannon'll only be "the littlest Rohirrim" until she gets older...at which time she'll wind up joining the rest of the 6000+ cheesed-off super-vikings on horseback, gleefully terrorizing hordes of orc infantry and racking up kill markers on her saddle. Now, about the "subligar" armor: somehow the idea of a chainmail g-string strikes me as being a tad on the uncomfortable side (). Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulcan Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Now' date=' about the "subligar" armor: somehow the idea of a chainmail g-string strikes me as being a tad on the uncomfortable side ().[/quote'] Especially while riding a horse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Especially while riding a horse! Ye gods! The chafing! The CHAFING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Ye gods! The chafing! The CHAFING! Youll note she DIDNT buy it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From a Scion game I ran a while back (good system, worth checking out) Best without context: "I have a hotel room, duct tape and a fully stocked minibar. I'm good!" Jack Lightstone, the only black character in the group. Son of Baron Samedi "Uh uh, I've seen this movie. The black guy dies first, you go." Alex, PC, son of Bastet. Blind since birth. I keep forgetting about this. GM(me): You're not there, you don't see it. Alex (OOC): I don't see anything. GM(me): oh yeah... right. GM(me): : flavor text : and at the bottom of the ice chute, you first see it. Atlantis. Stretching out as far as your god-like vision can see, half covered in ice, submerged here for generation upon generation. This. This is your own private mythical playground, thi--- Cory and Ben (actually twins IRL): Where's the swings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Weapon Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Youll note she DIDNT buy it Sure it was cheap, but when you subtract the cost of the extra talcum powder... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Youll note she DIDNT buy it Probably just as well. Can you imagine needing to call some guy with a gnomish-made blowtorch to help you get out of your britches? Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjolnir74 Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sure it was cheap' date=' but when you subtract the cost of the extra talcum powder...[/quote'] Actually, chainmail is usually worn over cloth or leather padding. To get a form fitting look, the chainmail could be tastefully riveted to a leather thong. Its not uncommon to wear armor in layers: cloth/hide, leather, then chain. So, for the ultimate in comfort, line the leather thong with rabbit fur on the inside and rivet chainmail to the outside. Its unfortunate, but most game systems assume that if you wear more than one layer of armor, you are too encumbered to move, or you don't get the benefit of the extra layering. In reality, that's the way it was done. And now, back to the humor ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Honestly, it had a leather loincloth instead of mail, anyway ;P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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