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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Storytelling Card Games

 

For New Years we played two card games that have storytelling elements: Mad Scientist University and Gloom.

 

 

These comments work best without explanation:

 

Karl: Plagiarism is the foremost principle of scholarship.

 

Bowie: You're smoking pot ... and not in a good way.

 

DJ: Your project must include monkeys flinging poo.

 

Claudia: Go home Mickey. You're becoming the scary one, and that's my job.

 

Bowie: Mmm. Penises and chocolate ... where can you go wrong.

 

 

And the out-of-character comments:

 

Michelle collapses in a fit of laughter. :lol:

Mickey: Breathe Michelle. Breathe.

Bill: In, out. In, out.

Mickey: No. That's something else.

 

Ginger: I intend to spend tonight getting drunk. :drink:

Steven: You're halfway there. One of your eyes is glazed over.

Ginger: I'll have you know that I'm blind in one eye.

Karl: So which one is glazed over?

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Storytelling Card Games

 

For New Years we played two card games that have storytelling elements: Mad Scientist University and Gloom.

 

 

These comments work best without explanation:

 

Karl: Plagiarism is the foremost principle of scholarship.

 

Bowie: You're smoking pot ... and not in a good way.

 

DJ: Your project must include monkeys flinging poo.

 

Claudia: Go home Mickey. You're becoming the scary one, and that's my job.

 

Bowie: Mmm. Penises and chocolate ... where can you go wrong.

 

 

And the out-of-character comments:

 

Michelle collapses in a fit of laughter. :lol:

Mickey: Breathe Michelle. Breathe.

Bill: In, out. In, out.

Mickey: No. That's something else.

 

Ginger: I intend to spend tonight getting drunk. :drink:

Steven: You're halfway there. One of your eyes is glazed over.

Ginger: I'll have you know that I'm blind in one eye.

Karl: So which one is glazed over?

 

 

Bowie sounds like he's got an interesting -- and disturbing -- lifestyle.

 

 

 

Major Tom :doi:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Edge City 3D

 

Group talking about Alyson Hannigan - Trawler's player interjects with an entirely unrelated question

 

Trawler's player
: "Fork or spoon?"

Stentorian's player,
still thinking about Alyson Hannigan
: ".... Yes."

 

 

 

"You could always Google her."

"Sounds very rude, googling Alyson Hannigan"

 

Reading the notes from last week

 

Trawler's player
: "The B... H... unreadable.... Nod"

Weldun GM
: "I point out these are his own notes "

 

Avatar
protests
: "Being able to knock down buildings is a useful skill!"

 

"There's more than one kind of dwarf - there's red dwarfs & white dwarfs."

"There's black dwarfs too, but that's not PC - it should be African-American dwarfs."

 

Summing up the party

 

Avatar
: "Jackbooted Nazi...."

Terminus
: "I'm not a Nazi."

Miss Chaos
: "Jackbooted Not-Nazi?."

Zero
: "Jackbooted fascist?"

Terminus
: "And I don't wear Jackboots"

 

Miss Chaos
: "This might be the only chance any of us get to see Heaven"

Trawler
: "Considering the only way most of us get out of this team is by being melted into a puddle."

Stentorian
: "What?? I didn't see that exit clause!"

Zero
: *checking his own copy of the team contract*

 

Avatar
: "I'm putting 'Gateway to Heaven' into a search engine"

Zero
: "Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn"

 

Perusing his results

 

Zero
:
*head sideways*
"Is that legal??"

Stentorian
: "Is that even
possible?

 

Weldun GM
: "You find a lot of references to the Pearly Gates."

Zero
: "We're not still on the porn, are we?"

Stentorian
: "That would be pearl necklace"

Avatar
: "A necklace of clam shit?"

Stentorian
: "..... Ask your mother."

 

The Black Paladin has hitting various alternate Earths for secret diaries, Alexandrian libraries, and Tacituses. Taciti? Alien info boxes, anyway

 

Stentorian
: "It sounds odd, but he's basically an interdimensional library thief"

Trawler
: "The Defaulter!"

Terminus
: "'Curses, how did you know it was me?' 'That would be the big D on your chest'"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Edge City 3D

 

Group talking about Alyson Hannigan - Trawler's player interjects with an entirely unrelated question

Trawler's player
: "Fork or spoon?"

Stentorian's player,
still thinking about Alyson Hannigan
: ".... Yes."

"You could always Google her."

"Sounds very rude, googling Alyson Hannigan"

besides alyson's already marrried
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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You didn't know that? She married that guy who played Wesley on Buffy and Angel.
You see, now I'm confused. If we had actually "Googled" her, we would have known that, but because she's married we shouldn't?:angel:

 

I couldn't resist continuing the innuendo...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some background first from our D&D game:

 

My character is Yllek Yar, a ranger that hates orcs. Other teammates include Ryan (male fighter/scout, son of a baron), Aren (male fighter), Devlyn (female rogue), Leila (female druid), and Il'Marcum (male sorcerer). We're currently 16th level and have amassed a decent amount of treasure and magical items.

 

We are now gearing up for Ryan's wedding. Since he's nobility, it's to be a big affair, with invitations being sent, etc. A month or so earlier, Ryan had met my character's girlfriend, Kalina, and had sent my invitation to her place, addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Yllek Yar." I found out about this after we left town on a quest, and was often ribbed about Yllek being forced into a "shotgun wedding" when he returns.

 

The quest complete, we have now returned home.

 

- - - - - - -

 

Yllek (OOC): How much did Ryan spend on his engagement ring?

 

Ryan (OOC): I did it as a matched set, engagement and wedding ring. I spent 25.

 

Yllek (was considering whether spending 500-1,000 GP would be appropriate): 25 thousand gold?! :nonp:

 

Ryan: No, 25 hundred!

 

Yllek: (breathes a sigh of relief)

 

- - - - - - -

 

Kalina (holding up invitation): "It's addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Yar. We don't want to make liars out of them, do we?"

 

- - - - - - -

 

DM: Kalina has already picked out her wedding present to Yllek: a pair of 9th level ranger orcs, with a 24-hour head start. Happy hunting!

 

- - - - - - -

 

Yllek: Devlyn, I'm trying to figure out an appropriate wedding gift to get Kalina. I'm thinking jewelry of some sort. What do you recommend?

 

Devlyn: Well, a necklace would be nice, maybe with a matching bracelet. What kind of gems do you have?

 

Yllek (OOC): Um, I don't know what kinds, I just wrote down their gold piece values. (IC) I wonder if I have any pearls. Il'Marcum had recommended I give her a "pearl necklace." :sneaky:

 

- - - - - - -

 

Leila: I'm going to create a grove near town. Is a hundred acres enough?

 

Aren: You're going to have a Hundred Acre Wood?

 

DM: Are you going to put a yellow bear, a piglet, and a donkey in it?

 

- - - - - - -

 

Yllek: I'm going to tell Kalina I'm thinking of getting Ryan and his bride-to-be some really lame gift, like a welcome mat. That way, she'll just smack me and then pick one out herself.

 

- - - - - - -

 

(Note: For months, Aren has had a relationship with a woman who is the wife of a nobleman in a distant city, and this woman actually showed up in town recently and met Aren's mom. Aren's mom has no idea that her son's "girlfriend" is married, let alone that she is the wife of a nobleman.)

 

DM: Aren, your mom is bugging you for information about your girlfriend.

 

Yllek: Say, while I'm in Dain, can I find a book, something like a "Who's Who" of nobility, to give to Aren's mom? :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Stentorian
: "It sounds odd, but he's basically an interdimensional library thief"

Trawler
: "The Defaulter!"

Terminus
: "'Curses, how did you know it was me?' 'That would be the big D on your chest'"

 

I see an orangutan in his future. ;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Once again, our once jungle-faring adventurers have gotten themselves into trouble.

 

Mel (Tiefling Priestess): Well, if you really want to convert, there's always temple whores.

 

Kragan: And this was your job?

 

Mel: No, you dirty old man! I chose the priesthood!

 

Kragan: (Turning to the Paladin/Bard) So, does your religion have Temple Whores too?

 

Dargrim (And yeah, he's a Half-Orc Paladin/Bard, doesn't that just say it all?): Aye, and they're skilled enough to meet the needs of a bard!

 

Kragan: Sorry, I prefer real men! No...wait I misspoke!

 

(After gales of laughter, and realizing that we will NEVER be able to let Kragan live this down)

 

Mel: I guess we really do know the truth about you after all.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Space Opera Game:

 

Me (OOC): "Okay, hold it. Right here, we've got a gay man playing a lizard woman hitting on a straight girl playing a fox man. The mind reels."

 

---------------------

 

My character, based on Heavy Weapons Guy from Team Fortress 2 has been summoned to a temple ruin by the rest of the group. They say to bring Sasha. Problem: The temple is now a tourist attraction, and Sasha is Minigun. I managed to use intimidation and quick thinking to convince the guard I was there for a cosplay event and that Sasha was just a replica. He ties a pretty pink ribbon around the barrel of Sasha.

 

GM (OOC): "I can't believe that worked. I can just see it, once you fire that gun, all the guards will be like 'The Peacebinding! It does nothing!'"

 

----------------------

 

Discussing interrogation tactics for plant based life-forms:

Dr. Glass: "There will be no dismemberment while I'm here."

Autumn: "It's not dismemberment, it's pruning."

 

----------------------

 

Jesse (or someone, don't remember): "This is going to take tact, social grace and discretion."

Me: "I have Demolitions. That's my primary social skill."

Others: "Well, that means Jurgen is out."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the adventures of the Misfit League.

 

Cast of Characters: Volt - 67 year old lighning caster who got his powers at 63. Disarray - female mentalist with one command - "Be confused!" Olorin 747 year old unaging goofball mage unfamiliar with modern Earth culture.

 

Setting: Olorin is in the base walking by dressed and hair like a 50's greaser. "Leader of the pack" playing from - somewhere. Not sure where.

 

Disarray: "What the? What is Olorin doing?"

 

Volt: "I've learned it's best not to ask."

 

Olroin continues making "vroom vroom" sounds. No one ever asked.

 

And Olorin never said.

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