Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

[Hermit]

Tired of some government yahoo demanding you trust your secret Identity to the same instilations that can't hold Foxbat for five minutes, or leaks new technology designs like they were on sale? Weary of people assuming that superheroics require a glorified library card?

 

Want to tell them where to stuff it?

 

Here's your chance... make your own and fill it out. When some pencil pusher bueracrat or stiff necked Law Enforcement agent demands registration, let them look it over.

 

Possible answers that are sure to rile the cigar chomping Silver Avenger are near limitless. Sure you'll offend folks, but hey, no one wants the superlife to be TOO easy, right?

 

Example:

Super Hero Name: Rad

Other Terms I'll Answer To: How about, oh, Sir? Or maybe MISTER Rad?

My Turf: Safehaven City

How I've Saved Your Ingrateful Rear Before: Remember the snake plague? Remember the megalaser? Yeah? Good. I was the one who stopped them. Don't say thanks or nothing...jerk.

Why You Shouldn't Get In My Way: Lives on the line. Innocents need protecting. Did I mention I have radioactive powers? How's your hair? Nice. Now out of my way, please.

Any Other Info I WANT To Share: Nice badge. I got up to Wolf myself.

[fwcain]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Heh. I must confess that I've got a few characters of my own with whom your idea would strike a chord.

 

Franklin

[Cold Steel]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: ShadowHawk. No Hypen. Am i going too fast for you?

 

Other Names: What part of ShadowHawk did you not understand?

 

Race: Mutant. Not African-American. Not Puerto Rican. Not Asian. Not even Caucasian. No thanks to you Government jerks.

 

Secret Identity: Bite Me!

 

Area of Activity: New York City. Hey what do you know? An honest straightforward answer! You guys should learn something from that.

 

Family: They're Democrats, nuff said.

 

Political Status: I pay my income taxes. That's as political as i want to be.

 

Marital Status: Are you coming on to me?

 

Allies: ZZZZZZ!

 

Enemies: The ones you can't hold in jail but still i have to catch yet again.

 

Any other info we should know about?: Yeah, i think Spider-Man is the stupidest man on the Planet! I wonder what will happen to him when you give him a lay off due to budget cuts?

 

DOWN WITH REGISTRATION!

[Enforcer84]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

My Name is the Enforcer, officer

No other aliases

It's called a 'Secret' for a reason

I am not restricted to a single precinct or jurisdiction.

I've contained the beast known as Armageddon

Please don't try to impeed my work, officer. People's lives are in jeopardy

I regularly give to the Police Men's Ball.

[OddHat]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Flesh Gordon. Please, call me Flesh.

 

Other Names: What would you like to call me?

 

Race: Human

 

Secret Identity: I told you, friend. Flesh Gordon, space adventurer.

 

Area of Activity: I'm like the wind, everywhere and nowhere, every-time and no-time, inside, outside, upside-down, cause it's my generation, oh yes, it is my generation. Hmmm. I'm sorry, what was the question?

 

Family: All men are my brothers, all women my sisters, for I am a champion of Justice! Sweet, juicy justice! Well, obviously not all men and women are my brothers and sisters, not in a literal sense. I mean, that would be silly. And awkward. And think of poor ma Gordon. She'd never be able to leave the house. No, it's more a sort of spiritual siblinghood, a oneness of the good, and the beautiful, for the more I walk these Earths and Moons and other worlds and worldlets, and space stations, also colony ships and other forms of habitation, pocket worlds and such, the more I know that the true is the good, and the beautiful. Yes. That, by the way, is a very nice uniform you're wearing. Really nice.

Political Status: King of the Impossible.

 

Marital Status: What would you want me to be?

 

Allies: All good men and women are my allies, for we stand united in the struggle for freedom! Also, I hang with these dudes. We've got a place. You care to see it? It's pretty rad.

 

Enemies: For some reason, many very lovely ladies. Many.

Any other info we should know about?: Your world is but one possibility in an infinitely large quantum phase space, one of an unlimited number of parallel time lines twirling madly from future to past, their history both predetermined from the moment of creation and yet infinitely flexible. Your conscious mind spins from moment to moment, reality to reality, and yet your essential self is unchanging and eternal, for each and every moment of every possible existence you might move through has always and will always been present in the immutable now. For this reason, above all, we should really go back to my place, because, you see, we're already there.

[Cancer]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Mr. Terrific

Other Names: Given name Nonya, surname Biznuss. I'm Ukranian.

Race: 200-kilometer dash.

Secret Identity: Back in 8th grade I waged a graffiti campaign against that jerk Byron Leeper using the nom de plume "Incredible Atomic Toad". They never caught me, and the sketch I drew of him in the north boy's room of him humping a poodle lasted three years before they painted over it.

Area of Activity: Cislunar space.

Family: Hominidae, pending reclassification. Taxonomy is mutable.

Political Status: My old draft card said 4-F.

Marital Status: Like the old song said, "Four that want to own me, two that want to stone me, one says she's a friend of mine."

Allies: Now accepting applications.

Enemies: People who make lists of their enemies don't have much time for doing anything else.

Any other info we should know about?: Lots, but since the University denied me tenure, it's not my job to teach you. If you don't like that, go tell Dean Radziemski to stuff a casaba up his ***.

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Great idea, Hermit.

 

And *sigh* you must spread some rep around before yadda yadda.

[OddHat]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Style

 

Other Names: None that I'm aware of.

 

Race: Human

 

Secret Identity: It's a secret. I thought we'd established that.

 

Area of Activity: All the many layers of the tree of life, though I spend most of my time in the material world.

 

Family: Which part of "Secret Identity" are you finding so hard to grok?

 

Political Status: Never voted. Most politicians are puppets of one secret society or another anyway.

 

Marital Status: Again, secret.

 

Allies: I've met very few other heroes, and most of them end up getting killed. Sometimes I get info from a few sources, but I'd rather not name them.

 

Enemies: I've been marked for destruction or worse by the Cult of the Red Banner, the Crowns of Krim, and Demon. I'm told it's my destiny to be killed by the Dragon, and I once beat up and chased away a gang of lunatics led by someone called Holocaust. Also, I once turned the members of Eurostar into normal humans and turned them into the authorities, but I expect they'll escape. Basically, get in line.

 

Any other info we should know about?: The things I face generally see Humanity, at best, as a food source, and many of them see us as an unfortunate sort of parasite sitting on desirable real-estate. Every day I fight to protect you, uncounted millions die in other realities whom I could have saved, so if you interfere with my work I'll probably move on. Say hello to the elder horrors for me.

[Pariah]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Jack Diamond

 

Other Names: Chariot, formerly of the supervillain group TAROT. Heh. Just kidding, I'm really just Jack Diamond.

 

Race: Human. Anything beyond that is semantics.

 

Secret Identity: Jack Diamond--see, it says so right here on my driver's license. Colorado license #970-867-5309, expires July 2011. Terrible picture, though.

 

Area of Activity: Anywhere I'm needed. It's like the bumper sticker: New York, London, Paris, Tokyo, Moab.

 

Family: No, thanks. Maybe later.

 

Political Status: Agnostic.

 

Marital Status: I'm married to my job as a crimefighter, but I'm not opposed to a mistress.

 

Allies: Watchtower, the premier superhero team protecting planet Earth. You've heard of them, perhaps?

 

Enemies: That pinhead who used to be the Golden Avenger, mostly. Also Genocide, VIPER, TAROT, and pretty much anyone else requiring more than a SWAT team to take down. That's what we're here for. I also bust pimps, pickpockets, drug dealers, and armed robbers on weekends, as a hobby.

 

Any other info we should know about?: There's a gray minivan that's been parked in front of that bank across the street for the last seven minutes with the engine running. Don't you find that a little suspicious?

[Amber Nytstar]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Hero Name: The Flying Kittens

 

Other Names: I'm Blackie, with the purple contrasts, my sister, with the pink highlights, is Midnite, and the boy with red markings is our brother, Trisk. And, just to be clear, when our flight teacher suggested the names she said that Trisk could be short for triskaideka-something. All I remember is that it relates to the number 13.

 

Race: Sure, love to. Where to?

 

Secret Identity: I'm not telling you that. It's supposed to be a secret.

 

Area of Activity: Mostly around where our home and school are located. Sometimes we have to take care of a bunch of crooks who hit the place our class is visiting though, or cancel one of our parents' schemes during a vacation, while trying to keep them thinking that we, the kids, are out having fun.

 

Family: Just the three of us. And our parents, of course.

 

Political Status: I don't know, I'm only nine!!!

 

Marital Status: Let's see, Trisk is fairly direct, aggresive, and competative, while Midnite prefers to strike from afar using either the yarn bombs or the cyber-mice. As for me, I like to dance around my prey before tangling them in yarn.

 

Allies: Other heroes, as long as they're willing to treat us seriously. The jerks that treat us like a bunch of snot-nosed kids who'd thinks that it's a game can go jump in a lake for all we care.

 

Enemies: Our parents, for starters. They're the reason we became heroes, always running off to oversee some crucial detail in their schemes and missing our afterschool activities. Then there's the other villains who try use us against our parents, and all the little crooks that like to gather around a supervillain's domain.

 

Any other info we should know about?: Mr. Liaison here is stiff-necked idiot who'd better watch out if we ever learn his name. He's worse than some of the hero jerks that we had to put up with, always telling us to go home and play with our toys and leave the grown-up stuff to the grown-ups. We know know it's serious, we know we could get hurt or killed. We still think it's better to risk our lives trying to stop our parents and other villains, than to live with the results. And we don't care what Mr. Liaison or anyone else says, we're still gonna fight the villains, no matter what.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Any other info we should know about?: There's a gray minivan that's been parked in front of that bank across the street for the last seven minutes with the engine running. Don't you find that a little suspicious?

 

Nobody in a major hurry ever looks at the driver.

 

 

Yes, I'm following you around.

[Publius]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Jack Malleus, Public Dick. By which of course I mean a investigator doing work in the interest of the public. What?

 

Other Names: Sir. Mister. I'll even respond to "Hey you"

 

Race: Do I look like I have horns and a tail? Probably not a steer then eh?

 

Secret Identity: If I told you it wouldn't be a secret would it?

 

Area of Activity: Wherever else adventure takes me. That's pretty much, um, everywhere. But only one place at a time of course.

 

Family: None extant.

 

Political Status: Dissatisfied. Cynical. A bit peeved actually because no one really represents my own interests.

 

Marital Status: Before I was a dude, then a sub-dude, now Liberated.

 

Allies: Well, I didn't fight for the Axis now did I?

 

Enemies: None thanks, have all I need.

 

Any other info we should know about?: I'm the guy every gal wants and every other guy wants to be.

[Cold Steel]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name:Alchemos, Master of Alchemy.

 

Other Names:The Manhattan Love Machine.

 

Race:Shi'ar.

 

Secret Identity:Alchemoraikannos-D'twelaitzenzoriniumuorsitnoabshiem... Wait that's only my first name. I am not finished...

 

Area of Activity:Earth is my sector to protect or so my Empress tells me.

 

Family:Yes, i have two parents, seven brothers, nine sisters, twenty-three cousins, forty nephews, seventeen nieces, eleven uncles, twenty aunts and my pet rock.

 

Political Staus: I am for the Shi'ar Empire. So on Earth that makes me a Republican.

 

Marital Status:Since i have been to your planet, i have married seven times. The people of Salt Lake City, Utah made me a honorary Mormon. 'course they told me to leave their women alone.

 

Allies:The Shi'ar Empire.

 

Enemies: A bunch of strange people called Trekkies.

 

Any other info we should know about?: Yes, The fact that i made up all this crap i stated above.

 

I"M A SUPERVILLAIN, YOU DOPES!!!!

[Badger]

Re: Hero 'I.D' for those who refuse to register

 

Super Hero Name: Badger

 

Other Names: None, I just said I was Badger, you idiot

 

Race: Irish/Alien. You know space alien. Not Fernando. #$%#% idiot.

 

Secret ID: I said I was Badger. I am called Badger. What is with you and &^$%$^% names. You stupid &&%^&%. Just take that pencil you're using sharpen it up real good and stick it.....

 

Area of Activity: What another &*%^& question. Get outta here, you.

 

Family: None. They're all dead. Thanks to you %%$s. So shut the &^%^& about my family.

 

Political Status: *badger gives obscene gesture*

 

Marital Status: I am single. Will always be single. Females run in terror at the sight of my ugly self. First, you taunt me with a game of Guess My name. Then you taunt me with memories of my family. Now you wanna rub the fact I am horribly scarred in my scarred face. You worthless $#%$^

 

Allies: Guess, you idiot. Who have I been fighting with lately? Jeesh you are a dumb@$$ arent you?

 

Enemies: Hmmph. Well you for one. All these %%$ questions.

 

Other info we should know about: Just one. If you arent gone in 5 seconds when I turn around I am gonna open up a can of whoop@$$ on you!!!!