Narf the Mouse Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Welcome to Assassin's Guild. How would you like your death? A: That's not what most people would use for a lubricant. Q: I stuck rancid butter in my car's tires. Will that work? A: Also, defilberate the carburetor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Also' date=' defilberate the carburetor.[/quote'] Q: When I said auto mechanics were like surgeons, I didn't mean they actually are surgeons! A: Let me put it this way -- be glad you're not a horse. You wouldn't survive this visit if you were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: When I said auto mechanics were like surgeons, I didn't mean they actually are surgeons! A: Let me put it this way -- be glad you're not a horse. You wouldn't survive this visit if you were. Q: So, while I'm touring the factory - What do you use to make glue? A: Hoof it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Hoof it. Q: How does a quadruped harvest the fruit from an apple tree? A: Four legs Good, Twenty-Seven legs Bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Four legs Good' date=' Twenty-Seven legs Bad.[/quote'] Q: Why did Custer have has problems at Little Big Horn? A: Bluefish, my kingdom for some bluefish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Bluefish' date=' my kingdom for some bluefish.[/quote'] Q: One fish, two fish, red fish ... Hey, do you remember what comes next? A: That's a cattle castle hassle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: One fish, two fish, red fish ... Hey, do you remember what comes next? A: That's a cattle castle hassle! Q: FUNDIBALUS habeo. Da mihi pecunia, et proiciam te caput bovis. A: No, but Google does that, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' but Google does that, too.[/quote'] Q: Did Bing just take your query on baby birds and send you to a porn site? Is that what you really wanted? A: Lions and Tigers only in Kenya. Forget Norway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Lions and Tigers only in Kenya. Forget Norway! Q: How did your safari of Africa and Europe go? A: I want this slanted news story reported in a completely fair and balanced way to support our candidate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I want this slanted news story reported in a completely fair and balanced way to support our candidate. Q: Describe the usual contents of Bill O'Reilly's e-mail inbox. A: No, I want you to get rid of this ostrich. it's been here a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' I want you to get rid of this ostrich. it's been here a month.[/quote'] Q - Would you like me to take the bird for a walk again today? A - I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this. I don't want to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this. I don't want to hear it. Q: You were wondering what I was doing with an ostrich, twelve gallons of personal lubricant, and five years of back issues of Bird Porn magaziine, right? A: You have the right to remain silent. Please exercise that right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: You have the right to remain silent. Please exercise that right. Q: "Why are you arresting me? Don't you know who I am? I'm Mile4y Cyrus!" A: There are times when calm, rational discussion is the only way out of a predicament. This is not one of those times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: There are times when calm' date=' rational discussion is the only way out of a predicament. This is not one of those times.[/quote'] Q: What made you think that you could simply talk the Huns into stopping their rampage? A: I don't care if you do have that kind of money, I'm still not doing it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't care if you do have that kind of money' date=' I'm still not doing it[/quote'] Q: Here's $150,000. Please eat this hard drive. A: So let's see if I have this straight: I get to keep the dog if I destroy all cats in a thirty-mile radius. And I'm on my own when it comes to figuring out how to do it. Fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: So let's see if I have this straight: I get to keep the dog if I destroy all cats in a thirty-mile radius. And I'm on my own when it comes to figuring out how to do it. Fine. Q: You can win this great new killer-yorkie by simply doing one task. Open Door Number One: A: The inflatable NGD forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: The inflatable NGD forum Q: Where did that large popping sound come from? A: It's kind of hard to tell the story without hamsters coming into the picture somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Where did that large popping sound come from? A: It's kind of hard to tell the story without hamsters coming into the picture somewhere. Q: So how did you invent a faster-than-light drive, again? And this time, don't start talking about hamsters. A: Tuna! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Tuna! Q: How did you train your cat to come when you call his name? A: Not very deep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not very deep. Q: So, just how deep would you say the Marina's Trench is? A: Wait! I don't live here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Wait! I don't live here! Q: Welcome home. Would you like a liverwurst sandwich? A: Death to Trees! Death to All Trees! The only good Tree is a Chair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Death to Trees! Death to All Trees! The only good Tree is a Chair! Q: What made you think the hippie had gone over the deep end? A: Not the Chippendale I had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not the Chippendale I had in mind. Q: OK, who's been stuffing dollar bills into the furniture? A: You know your straight line from a curve. You've got a lot of nerve. I know you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: You know your straight line from a curve. You've got a lot of nerve. I know you. Q How would you greet an old friend who happens to an abscessed tooth with a knack for geometry? A: Yoga, not yogurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yoga' date=' not yogurt.[/quote'] Q: You told me to get some culture in my life and get into shape. Care for some strawberry-banana flavored? A: Bananananananana. Easy to spell, hard to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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