Klytus Posted June 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Carefully. The pig is armed and dangerous Q: How do we go about getting some bacon around here? A: Zima was on sale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister E Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Carefully. The pig is armed and dangerous Q: "Everybody gets down on the floor." ... is to... "Everybody get down on the floor!" ... as... "Everybody becomes careful." ... is to... ? A: Zima was on sale. Dang! Q: Why did we buy Zima when what we wanted was a cure for cancer? A: Hit the Snooze button. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Hit the Snooze button. Q: How did you get to work at 1:00pm on a Tuesday? A: If you weren't the boss's son I'd ignore you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister E Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: If you weren't the boss's son I'd ignore you. Q: What did Lucifer actually say to cause his fall? A: I predict another eagle will come today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I predict another eagle will come today. Q: What kind of prediction do golfers love to hear? A: At least it worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: At least it worked. Q: Now that your quantium U-238 space modulator has blown up the planet, what do you have to say for yourself? A: Yes on one, no on two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Now that your quantium U-238 space modulator has blown up the planet, what do you have to say for yourself? A: Yes on one, no on two. Q: Is the Earth going to blow up? Are we doomed? A: Only slightly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Only slightly. Q: Does your buying 1000 tickets really improve your odds of winning the Mega Millions jackpot? A: Or you can just take out all your savings and toss the cash into a shredder. Same effect only much less painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Or you can just take out all your savings and toss the cash into a shredder. Same effect only much less painful. Q: For guarenteed funds you can use either of two options: either put all your money in the stock market. This way the money will grow or shrink as the desires of faceless bureaurcrats who care nothing for you desire wish. Now would you like option two? A: I forged forgeries, making them the origonal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I forged forgeries' date=' making them the original.[/quote'] Q - You're looking at 10-15 years in prison. What do you have to say in your defense? A - It's not slander if it's true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - It's not slander if it's true. Q: What makes you think you could get away with calling me a parasitic, vacuous toady with delusions of personhood? A: This is why colonizing the Age of Dinosaurs never goes well, even without the T-Rex issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: This is why colonizing the Age of Dinosaurs never goes well' date=' even without the T-Rex issues.[/quote'] Q - hey, why can't I get a wi-fi connection? A - Break it down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - Break it down! Q: What am I going to do with this thirty-square-foot cardboard box? A: I have an idea! Let's NOT attack the dragon armed only with kitchen utensils! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What am I going to do with this thirty-square-foot cardboard box? A: I have an idea! Let's NOT attack the dragon armed only with kitchen utensils! Q: The dragon has a knife, fork and napkin? Can't be important; let's charge! A: Spam ina can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Spam ina can. Q: What is only slightly better tasting that $**t-on-shingle? A: No need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 3, 2011 Report Share Posted July 3, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: No need. Q: Do you think that we should travel to Alderan? A: Grandma's Handbag of Doom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 3, 2011 Report Share Posted July 3, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Grandma's Handbag of Doom Q: Why is there a pile of finely-ground ash where there used to be a mugger? A: Don't know what I want but I know how to get it! I wanna destroy Perth-Amboy! Cause I wanna be anarchy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 5, 2011 Report Share Posted July 5, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Don't know what I want but I know how to get it! I wanna destroy Perth-Amboy! Cause I wanna be anarchy! Q: What are you doing with all that C4? A: It's been a hard day's night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 5, 2011 Report Share Posted July 5, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's been a hard day's night. Q: Have you been working like a dog again? A: I used to see pedestrians on the road all the time. Then I started taking my meds and now they're gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I used to see pedestrians on the road all the time. Then I started taking my meds and now they're gone. Q: Why were you always swerving when you drive on the freeway? A: At least it wasn't on the sidewalk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 5, 2011 Report Share Posted July 5, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: At least it wasn't on the sidewalk. Q: Would you like a fried egg, hot off the hood of my car? A: To stage a frontal assault on Fort Bragg at this juncture would be at best unwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: To stage a frontal assault on Fort Bragg at this juncture would be at best unwise. Q: The four of us are fully armed with swords, shields, and plate mail. Are we ready? A: Here's your sign! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Here's your sign! Q: Why did you just hand me a placard that reads "Kick Me!" in twenty-seven different languages? A: The very day her book was published, history relates that there were wives who shot their husbands in some thirty-three states. And some husbands shot their wives too. Jenny wasn't THAT decisive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: The very day her book was published' date=' history relates that there were wives who shot their husbands in some thirty-three states. And some husbands shot their wives too. Jenny wasn't THAT decisive![/quote'] Q: Did you tell him that if he was late one more time, he was going to bite the bullet? A: No no no - that was the 'old' plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: No no no - that was the 'old' plan. Q: So, we kill the men, rape the women, enslave the children, take the gold, steal the sheep, and burn thier huts down? A: Starring John Wayne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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