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A Thread for Random Musings


Old Man

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I think that out of all the hairs on my body, the ones that digust me the most are the inch-and-a-half-long nose hairs that grow from the deepest recesses of my sinuses, reaching for the light. Usually they reach the light right before I have some important meeting or other, and then I have to try and get rid of this thick, crinkly hair without scissors or even tweezers. Sometimes I just tuck it back up there and hope it stays.

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Guest Worldmaker

When I think that Jeb Bush probably wants to be president after he's done with Florida, I can't help but laugh... and then I realize that Jeb Bush wants to be president, after the job he's done here in Florida, and all I can do is stare in horror.

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So, I'm going in to the latrine. As I'm taking a well deserved piss, someone else enters the room. And stands respectfully at a distance, then steps up to use the urinal after me.

 

Which is fine. Except that the place was empty. There was another urinal, and two empty stalls.

 

Totally empty, and he waited in line behind me.

 

Maybe he has performance anxiety? Dunno. It was a little creepy, though.

 

D

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Guest Worldmaker

Speaking of urinals, have you ever noticed that the first person to arrive at a line of empty urinals (in a movie theatre, for example) always takes the one farthest from the door, and the next guy will take the urinal farthest from the first guy, and the third guy will take the one precisely in the middle so he's as far from the first two as he can?

 

Further, additional guys will continue to follow the "Xeno paradigm", taking evenly centered urinals that aren't right next to an occupied urinal, leaving the close ones for the Johnny-come-latelies?

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Guest Worldmaker

Why does McDonalds have a braille menu at the drive-through?

 

Who is this for? The driver, who presumably has to see well enough to be able to get a driver's license? Or the passengers, who could get the presumably sighted driver to read them the menu?

 

For that matter, why are there braille keys on a drive-through ATM?

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Some people seem to have a problem with reality tv, in general. I am finding, however, that it is some of the best programming on nowadays.

 

Putting aside for a moment that, technically, sports is actually reality tv, the nom de plume is a bit vague. Do I dislike the backstabbing and generally cynical so-called gameshows? Sure.

 

However, I found the "Newlyweds" (Jessica Simpson's) show to be consistently funny. Her astounding ignorance of basic human knowledge is hilarious. Ashamedly I must confess, it's also a bit of a guilty pleasure getting visual confirmation that there are people out there that I am so much more intelligent than.

 

Trading Spaces, American Chopper, Monster Garage, Monster House, and Trauma: Life in the ER. I am hooked to these shows (and find it quite annoying that Trauma and Monster House are on at the same time).

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Guest Worldmaker

Whenever they hear women talking about how men suffer from "testosterone poisoning", men should remind them that similarly shallow and sexist ideas led the ancient Greeks to base the word "hysteria" on their word for "uterus".

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Guest Worldmaker

An 18 year old just out of high school today commented that I had to work hard to "keep up with the kids". I asked him what ever gave him the idea that he was even with me on the race? He's got a long, long way to go...

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Guest Worldmaker

Every child in America should be taught, starting in Middle School and continuing through High School, how to cook. And I'm talking about actually cooking, not reheating leftovers or opening a can and putting it on a burner.

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