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The April 2022 Post Apocalyptic World Superdraft


Pariah

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The Vice President in charge of terror and public relations  looked at the remnants of a once powerful organization,  this vas it? Less than four dozen agents? Many who were not agents before... now they had to take anyone they could if they were big enough, ruthless enough. The new Mister Big wanted muscle. So Kaos now consisted largely of rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, old agents, bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, s**t-kickers and Methodists. Frankly he missed the professionals he didn't have to placate so much, but what could he do? It was a limited labor market. Thank goodness these idiots hadn't thought to Unionize.

 

"I know zum of you have questions about dental, and medical support. Goot news! Our science division, vhat is left of it, is villing to take some vict... volunteers, and try to upgrade you mit shovel hands and steel teeth, razor blade nails... und so on. It's practically the same thing" There were grins from at least half the goons. Dumkophs! But stupidity had it's advantages. Their science department was crippled most of all. So lowering expectations were a must. If only they had Zinc, they could do so much more! But that secret, that resource, seemed lost. Time to bring it home, Siggy, he told himself, "Remember, ve value und appreciate your hard work und terrible deaths on our behalf. Here is the place you can turn. Here is your new family! Vhen civilization is broken, all zat remains... is Kaos!" He raised his hands triumphantly.

 

They cheered. Except for Johnny who rolled his eyes. Damn, he hated johnny. 

 

Almost as much as he hated the New Mister Big but as the man scared the hell out of him, for now he'd follow along. Besides, in the history of KOAS, up and down, it was the Mister Bigs who got captured or killed first.

 

Second in Command (And goons): Siegfried (From Get Smart TV show) with KOAS from same

 

eec2d87bc85fe718d5854b6fb4217c96--old-tv

 

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Siegfried came into Mr. Big's office. "The men remain loyal despite our shortage of standard medical options, Mister Big."

 

The cowboy hated scumball turned in his big chair and smiled "The suckers brought it, huh?  Guess everyone is settling for less." He took a drink "Everyone but you and I. We may have less, but we wont' settle. Settling is for the small minded with small dreams. I know what I had. I'll get it back. And then some. And those little ladies soon to be under my control are the way to do it. Project Fallen Angel is going along well. Soon I'll have some killers under my control far better trained than those thugs. Nicer on the eyes too" He winked.

 

Siegfried nodded, though he wasn't sure it was going as well as Mr Big believed. The women were deadly, and yes, lovely, but they also might be playing him, even with the drugs and brainwashing they could be exagerating the results. "Do they still inzist on calling you 'Charlie'?"

 

Mr. Big frowned at that. "Seems to be the only way to get them to obey. Stupid box with my orders coming out of it. Radio barely working these days it feels like I'm talking into a tin can."

 

"A small price to pay" Siegfried did not show his pleasure. His boss had once been an oil baron, a ruthless son of a #$## who was just begging to be shot. Even his own family hadn't liked him. That's why he needed Siegfried. Mr. Big was a manipulator, and knew how to bully , coerce, extort and scare. But he needed Siegfried to play 'good cop'. In the end, everyone who got to know him ended up hating the New Mister Big..aka JR Ewing

 

The Arch Enemy: JR Ewing 

 

JRWeing.png

 

OPTION: Charlie's Angels

(All of em, every version, a small army of angels, who once they break this brainwashing could wipe the floor with this compound before Arnold and the guys can 'rescue' them) EDIT: (This doesn't put them off limits, I know, if someone else picks an individual angel, but this way I have a buffer if others start picking the individual ones clean)

1976+a+copy1.jpg

(And I should be caught up)

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43 minutes ago, death tribble said:

Do you also want the film version of them ? And the remake ?

Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no

 

"All of em, every version" was not clear? :)  If you have a favorite single angel your individual pick would supersede my group pick, I think. Least that's how we've done drafts in the past. the Commish is the final authority

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39 minutes ago, death tribble said:

But the film versions are awful ! There is nor forgiving Lucy Liu. Not now, not ever.

So unless you stick to the original series I'll rip up every fence in America so that you cannot sit on any of them.

And I do so in the name of Kate Jackson.

 

So there.

 

Wait, what did Lucy Liu do to you?

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1 hour ago, Bazza said:


Opposite — made edit above. I may have seen 3, Thunderdome, but not the others. Thanks for the pickup. 


That makes much more sense. I was wondering what the heck you were talking about.

FWIW, 3 is the worst. 4 doesn't really count.

Totally watch 1 and 2. They're barely related, but each does its own thing well.

I think 1 was on TV a few weeks ago. I don't know about the others.

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