Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Martin2]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I have a Teleporter in my group (the source of about 95% of inquiries on these forums) so I had to have the one scenario that you always have.

 

The teleportation accident.

 

Background was the group was investigating a source of unusual weather activity for UNTIL. The source was actually a magical summoning (keeping it limited just in case any of them are reading this). The magic interacted with their teleport and the teleport of a similar group in a similar dimension (but slightly different) who were teleporting to the area for a similar mission.

 

I had been planning it for weeks then a player could not make it so I had to quickly rewrite it so I could have maximum confusion.

 

They got the description of a roller coaster ride in 3 dimensions and multi coloured lights and then pain and then blackness.

 

I split the group up and spread them over three caverns under a volcano.

 

I had the first group in the first cavern and sent out all players not in the cavern.

 

The the fun started .

 

First character came to and I got the to roll a hit location and then rolled varying dice for body damage without any defences so straight of the body and indicated broken bones in that hit location. Described it realy hurt and costumes ripped to shreds and pitch black. So a really bad accident.

 

The first player (my wife) found the second moaning person who turned out to be a hero that infact did not teleport with them. This Hero was a player that has a secret identity to the other players. She was the lawyer that currently represents the group. All the players knew she is a hero and went to their last mission but has not declaired herself to the group yet so the characters did not know her (Character is Whiplash a lesbian lawyer / speedster who wears very little but is bondage like and uses a whip, who is played by the wife of one of the other players) . So the first player knows who she is but is thinking she should not be here so why is she here?????? I gave the player of Whiplash her back story of having memories of being in the group for months as she was from the other dimension and it was true. The first player has mind control powers so opens up a telepathy and confirms she is telling the truth but does not dig further. So confusion reigns .

 

Whiplash had a broken leg so she gets strapped up with her own whip . Also I enforce a costume malfunction on her and her bikini top strap has broken (but repaired n comic book fashion). My joke on her as she supplied the Hero machine picture of wearing just a bikini and pants, whip and long leather boots which I did say was not very family friendly and could she change it but she refused .

 

Then they found the first dead "player". The teleporter had a rock in his chest and looked like he had bled out! I had not asked the player in so he would not argue over his very unfair death. I did the same with other "dead" characters.

 

So lots of conversations and things are starting to click so I send them out and got the next group in.

 

The second group similar thing. Everyone knows they have had a teleporter accident and stumble around with broken bones. This group has the group healer so starts healling. He finds a character who looks to be dead but obviously the player is not here so you can not kill a character without the player being there can you?? . "Sorry your healing powers have no effect, she is dead, you can not bring her back, your power has no effect on the dead". Again total shock goes through the group .

 

The healer then turns over the next groaning body to see himself and I explain "OK you turn the groaning body over and you look down on yourself but also you wake up with a splitting head and look up and see yourself standing over yourself!!!!"

 

The penny starts to drop so I get everyone in and have just one player who has been on his own and has no clue what is going on and I ask everyone to go along with it (some of them are totally confused).

 

So the last person wakes up. He finds a dead body. The player who plays this character has just played him a few minutes a go so knows he is not dead but nods and goes along with it .

 

His wife, Whiplash even says "your dead!!!, he killed you!" and the player plays along and nods .

 

The group finally get together and finally works out that the three dead characters are from the alternate dimension so none of the players characters have died.

 

They now have four members of a group that are based on their own characters. They have slightly different builds and I have given them slightly different character traits and they seem to be a lot more like comic books heroes. My group are loose cannons and I am always trying to convince them to be more "heroic". Another joke from me which they have already guessed as they are already saying "are these the heroes which you want us to be" .

 

The final joke was when they telported out to regroup (as usualy not following my obvious tunnel to the summoning area) and actualy returned to the UN food camp they should have landed at and they run into their now new team member Whiplash the lawyer who has just run a few thousand miles (getting slightly lost) as she wanted to maintain her secret identity but wanted to get to the group with her own powers. She was not covered in rock dust and her very limited costume is not ripped to shreds.

 

So we leave two lesbians who are identical and think exactly the same eyeing each other up and thinking "hmmmm the possibilities".

 

 

The scenario could have gone totally wrong but it actually worked! It was fun for me with the shock and confusion and them slowly putting it together. Splitting them all into the groups worked so well and I wished I could have taped it for the player that missed it as eventually everyone was enjoying the confusion.

[Mindscape]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my group's 3.5 game last night.

 

"You might be Chaotic Evil if you've ever used a live Kobold Baby as a helmet."

[Ian Mackinder]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I have a Teleporter in my group (the source of about 95% of inquiries on these forums) so I had to have the one scenario that you always have.

 

The teleportation accident.

 

Background was the group was investigating a source of unusual weather activity for UNTIL. The source was actually a magical summoning (keeping it limited just in case any of them are reading this). The magic interacted with their teleport and the teleport of a similar group in a similar dimension (but slightly different) who were teleporting to the area for a similar mission.

 

I had been planning it for weeks then a player could not make it so I had to quickly rewrite it so I could have maximum confusion.

 

They got the description of a roller coaster ride in 3 dimensions and multi coloured lights and then pain and then blackness.

 

I split the group up and spread them over three caverns under a volcano.

 

I had the first group in the first cavern and sent out all players not in the cavern.

 

The the fun started .

 

First character came to and I got the to roll a hit location and then rolled varying dice for body damage without any defences so straight of the body and indicated broken bones in that hit location. Described it realy hurt and costumes ripped to shreds and pitch black. So a really bad accident.

 

The first player (my wife) found the second moaning person who turned out to be a hero that infact did not teleport with them. This Hero was a player that has a secret identity to the other players. She was the lawyer that currently represents the group. All the players knew she is a hero and went to their last mission but has not declaired herself to the group yet so the characters did not know her (Character is Whiplash a lesbian lawyer / speedster who wears very little but is bondage like and uses a whip, who is played by the wife of one of the other players) . So the first player knows who she is but is thinking she should not be here so why is she here?????? I gave the player of Whiplash her back story of having memories of being in the group for months as she was from the other dimension and it was true. The first player has mind control powers so opens up a telepathy and confirms she is telling the truth but does not dig further. So confusion reigns .

 

Whiplash had a broken leg so she gets strapped up with her own whip . Also I enforce a costume malfunction on her and her bikini top strap has broken (but repaired n comic book fashion). My joke on her as she supplied the Hero machine picture of wearing just a bikini and pants, whip and long leather boots which I did say was not very family friendly and could she change it but she refused .

 

Then they found the first dead "player". The teleporter had a rock in his chest and looked like he had bled out! I had not asked the player in so he would not argue over his very unfair death. I did the same with other "dead" characters.

 

So lots of conversations and things are starting to click so I send them out and got the next group in.

 

The second group similar thing. Everyone knows they have had a teleporter accident and stumble around with broken bones. This group has the group healer so starts healling. He finds a character who looks to be dead but obviously the player is not here so you can not kill a character without the player being there can you?? . "Sorry your healing powers have no effect, she is dead, you can not bring her back, your power has no effect on the dead". Again total shock goes through the group .

 

The healer then turns over the next groaning body to see himself and I explain "OK you turn the groaning body over and you look down on yourself but also you wake up with a splitting head and look up and see yourself standing over yourself!!!!"

 

The penny starts to drop so I get everyone in and have just one player who has been on his own and has no clue what is going on and I ask everyone to go along with it (some of them are totally confused).

 

So the last person wakes up. He finds a dead body. The player who plays this character has just played him a few minutes a go so knows he is not dead but nods and goes along with it .

 

His wife, Whiplash even says "your dead!!!, he killed you!" and the player plays along and nods .

 

The group finally get together and finally works out that the three dead characters are from the alternate dimension so none of the players characters have died.

 

They now have four members of a group that are based on their own characters. They have slightly different builds and I have given them slightly different character traits and they seem to be a lot more like comic books heroes. My group are loose cannons and I am always trying to convince them to be more "heroic". Another joke from me which they have already guessed as they are already saying "are these the heroes which you want us to be" .

 

The final joke was when they telported out to regroup (as usualy not following my obvious tunnel to the summoning area) and actualy returned to the UN food camp they should have landed at and they run into their now new team member Whiplash the lawyer who has just run a few thousand miles (getting slightly lost) as she wanted to maintain her secret identity but wanted to get to the group with her own powers. She was not covered in rock dust and her very limited costume is not ripped to shreds.

 

So we leave two lesbians who are identical and think exactly the same eyeing each other up and thinking "hmmmm the possibilities".

 

 

The scenario could have gone totally wrong but it actually worked! It was fun for me with the shock and confusion and them slowly putting it together. Splitting them all into the groups worked so well and I wished I could have taped it for the player that missed it as eventually everyone was enjoying the confusion.

 

Definite 'Mirror, Mirror' influence, methinks.

 

What, no goatees?

[Christopher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So we leave two lesbians who are identical and think exactly the same eyeing each other up and thinking "hmmmm the possibilities".

Would have worked out.

They propably could not have decided who wears down the Whip and who wears the dog collar.

[Ian Mackinder]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Would have worked out.

They propably could not have decided who wears down the Whip and who wears the dog collar.

 

Take turns, probably. I have it on very good authority that one cannot be any good at either without knowing at least something about the other.

[MisterVimes]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Take turns' date=' probably. I have it on very good authority that one cannot be any good at either without knowing at least something about the other.[/quote']

 

The saying goes: Ten years top or two years bottom.

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The McGinty Files, now online. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByizdUrjtA3mZXdza0hjdzI0bmc/edit

 

112 pages, 14 Megabytes. Dear god. Please tell me if I left anything out.

[Christopher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The McGinty Files, now online. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByizdUrjtA3mZXdza0hjdzI0bmc/edit

 

112 pages, 14 Megabytes. Dear god. Please tell me if I left anything out.

When the PC's in another Chuthulu campaign find this and read this, how much sanity do you think they would loose?

[Altheus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I have a Teleporter in my group (the source of about 95% of inquiries on these forums) so I had to have the one scenario that you always have.

 

The teleportation accident.

 

Background was the group was investigating a source of unusual weather activity for UNTIL. The source was actually a magical summoning (keeping it limited just in case any of them are reading this). The magic interacted with their teleport and the teleport of a similar group in a similar dimension (but slightly different) who were teleporting to the area for a similar mission.

 

I had been planning it for weeks then a player could not make it so I had to quickly rewrite it so I could have maximum confusion.

 

They got the description of a roller coaster ride in 3 dimensions and multi coloured lights and then pain and then blackness.

 

I split the group up and spread them over three caverns under a volcano.

 

I had the first group in the first cavern and sent out all players not in the cavern.

 

The the fun started .

 

First character came to and I got the to roll a hit location and then rolled varying dice for body damage without any defences so straight of the body and indicated broken bones in that hit location. Described it realy hurt and costumes ripped to shreds and pitch black. So a really bad accident.

 

The first player (my wife) found the second moaning person who turned out to be a hero that infact did not teleport with them. This Hero was a player that has a secret identity to the other players. She was the lawyer that currently represents the group. All the players knew she is a hero and went to their last mission but has not declaired herself to the group yet so the characters did not know her (Character is Whiplash a lesbian lawyer / speedster who wears very little but is bondage like and uses a whip, who is played by the wife of one of the other players) . So the first player knows who she is but is thinking she should not be here so why is she here?????? I gave the player of Whiplash her back story of having memories of being in the group for months as she was from the other dimension and it was true. The first player has mind control powers so opens up a telepathy and confirms she is telling the truth but does not dig further. So confusion reigns .

 

Whiplash had a broken leg so she gets strapped up with her own whip . Also I enforce a costume malfunction on her and her bikini top strap has broken (but repaired n comic book fashion). My joke on her as she supplied the Hero machine picture of wearing just a bikini and pants, whip and long leather boots which I did say was not very family friendly and could she change it but she refused .

 

Then they found the first dead "player". The teleporter had a rock in his chest and looked like he had bled out! I had not asked the player in so he would not argue over his very unfair death. I did the same with other "dead" characters.

 

So lots of conversations and things are starting to click so I send them out and got the next group in.

 

The second group similar thing. Everyone knows they have had a teleporter accident and stumble around with broken bones. This group has the group healer so starts healling. He finds a character who looks to be dead but obviously the player is not here so you can not kill a character without the player being there can you?? . "Sorry your healing powers have no effect, she is dead, you can not bring her back, your power has no effect on the dead". Again total shock goes through the group .

 

The healer then turns over the next groaning body to see himself and I explain "OK you turn the groaning body over and you look down on yourself but also you wake up with a splitting head and look up and see yourself standing over yourself!!!!"

 

The penny starts to drop so I get everyone in and have just one player who has been on his own and has no clue what is going on and I ask everyone to go along with it (some of them are totally confused).

 

So the last person wakes up. He finds a dead body. The player who plays this character has just played him a few minutes a go so knows he is not dead but nods and goes along with it .

 

His wife, Whiplash even says "your dead!!!, he killed you!" and the player plays along and nods .

 

The group finally get together and finally works out that the three dead characters are from the alternate dimension so none of the players characters have died.

 

They now have four members of a group that are based on their own characters. They have slightly different builds and I have given them slightly different character traits and they seem to be a lot more like comic books heroes. My group are loose cannons and I am always trying to convince them to be more "heroic". Another joke from me which they have already guessed as they are already saying "are these the heroes which you want us to be" .

 

The final joke was when they telported out to regroup (as usualy not following my obvious tunnel to the summoning area) and actualy returned to the UN food camp they should have landed at and they run into their now new team member Whiplash the lawyer who has just run a few thousand miles (getting slightly lost) as she wanted to maintain her secret identity but wanted to get to the group with her own powers. She was not covered in rock dust and her very limited costume is not ripped to shreds.

 

So we leave two lesbians who are identical and think exactly the same eyeing each other up and thinking "hmmmm the possibilities".

 

 

The scenario could have gone totally wrong but it actually worked! It was fun for me with the shock and confusion and them slowly putting it together. Splitting them all into the groups worked so well and I wished I could have taped it for the player that missed it as eventually everyone was enjoying the confusion.

 

You also said that they had much better kit than us (I play the dead guy in the description above). Our teleporter said "Can we have their GM?"

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

When the PC's in another Chuthulu campaign find this and read this' date=' how much sanity do you think they would loose?[/quote']

 

Depends - will it include the early newsreel footage of McGinty playing polo in a suit of armour, up and down the front yard of his mansion?

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The McGinty Files, now online. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByizdUrjtA3mZXdza0hjdzI0bmc/edit

 

112 pages, 14 Megabytes. Dear god. Please tell me if I left anything out.

 

Anyway to save this? Also, I know want to convert McGinty from CoC to HERO.....

[Guest Celt]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Anyway to save this? Also' date=' I know want to convert McGinty from CoC to [i']HERO[/i].....

 

Top left, select File>Download.

[MisterVimes]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The McGinty Files, now online. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByizdUrjtA3mZXdza0hjdzI0bmc/edit

 

112 pages, 14 Megabytes. Dear god. Please tell me if I left anything out.

 

Someone please rep the good doctor. I have have run out of rep. Genius.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Top left' date=' select File>Download.[/quote']

 

Thanks, I didn't even notice those menus.

[Ian Mackinder]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The McGinty Files, now online. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByizdUrjtA3mZXdza0hjdzI0bmc/edit

 

112 pages, 14 Megabytes. Dear god. Please tell me if I left anything out.

 

As usual, I can't rep you. But, I thank you for all that you have told us about McGinty in general and your campaign in particular.

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Masks of Nyarlathotep - Part One

 

January 1925 - Around the world, a diphtheria epidemic gathers strength in Nome, Alaska; Norway's capital Christiana is renamed Oslo; Benito Mussolini becomes dictator of Italy; French psychologist Emil Coué brings "Every day in every way I am getting better & better" to the States; and the US finally recognises the ability of women to govern by electing Nellie Taylor Ross governor of Wyoming. In New York, Agent Paul Rondale of the Office of Naval Intelligence continues his efforts to rebuild the department, by catching up on his mail. One particular item catches his attention - the occult author Jackson Elias is returning to New York. This strikes him as important, thanks to a certain episode of time travel he was forced to endure some time previously, even if it will require the involvement of Massachusetts Governor Patrick 'Paddy' McGinty.

 

Paddy McGinty

: You mean if I don't show up it might change the future? Great!

Agent Rondale

: Change it for better or worse?

Paddy McGinty

: Er... good point. I'd better come then.

 

Prof. Deborah Einstein

: Can we extend Prohibition to cover dipsomaniacs?

GM

: You want to prohibit alcoholics as well as alcohol?

Prof. Deborah Einstein

: Nah, I just want to outlaw McGinty

 

 

From what they learned in the distant year 1935, McGinty will soon meet one Virginia Kendall at the Chelsea Hotel, New York, and that the events that transpire somehow involve the author. The pressure of destiny bears down hard on the investigators when they learn, from Elias' clearly reluctant publisher, that the gentleman in question is currently staying at the Chelsea, and that he's seeking to employ an investigative team. Something to do with the Carlyle Expedition, apparently, who were wiped out by Kenyan tribesman a few years previously. So it's no surprise at all when they arrive at the hotel, head up to Elias' room, and find a familiar-looking if rather younger than they remember woman tentatively knocking on the same door.

 

Paddy McGinty

: Virginia! Nice to see you girl, how you been?

Virginia Kendall

: Erm, I'm fine thank you. I'm afraid I can't place you, have we met?

Paddy McGinty

: Not yet

Virginia Kendall

: Er...

 

 

 

 

 

This alleged introduction out of the way, they ask her what she's doing here. Her response - that she heard some commotion in the author's room, and was checking to see if he was OK - leads to a prompt forced entry by Agents Rondale and Johnson. The three men they see in the room are armed, it is true, but the Agents are even better armed - those anachronistic machine guns they acquired in a previous investigation are very efficient, and easily concealed beneath winter coats. McGinty, on the other hand, charges the one currently carving cult sigils on an already disembowelled and disen-tongued Elias. So all in all, it's probably unfortunate that there was a fourth cultist in the room, behind the door, with a shotgun, and McGinty is promptly shot in the back.

 

Actually, given the horrors McGinty has perpetrated in the past and will no doubt perpetrate in the future, regardless of whatever crimes the cultist was guilty of history would have regarded him as a hero - if he'd used both barrels. McGinty is not killed by the point-blank shot, and even manages to stay up long enough to headbutt the knife-wielding deviant unconscious. Professor Deborah Einstein neatly puts a revolver round between the shotgun toting gentleman's eyes, and Rondale rushes to McGinty's aid, and Johnson to the window. Down behind the hotel a car is idling - this Johnson and Rondale consider suspicious enough to shoot it and its driver to merry blazes. The driver, at least, was warned not to flee, but it seems likely the hail of bullets was affecting his judgement at the time.

 

GM

: Most police would give you a parking ticket. Not Rondale!

 

 

 

Further mayhem is caused by Johnson's detour through a third story window, and the rush to get McGinty to hospital and the concussed cultist into the clutches of ONI, where he can be creatively interrogated at length. At least the cultists saved some time for the investigators, since they'd been rifling the roof for clues first.

 

Paddy McGinty

: I'm going to be crapping like a goat all week - pellets everywhere.

 

Paddy McGinty

: The wife said I needed lead in me pencil, I don't think she meant this.

 

Paddy McGinty

: At least I'll get some more headlines. "McGinty Wins Battle Against Four Assassins", that'll look good in the papers.

 

Paddy McGinty

: That reminds me, I want to become leader of the Silver Twilight Lodge too. Should be easy, with all the cultists gone.

GM

: You jammy bastard, you could, too...

 

Agent Rondale

: We have to get out of here before the cops arrive.

GM

: Why? You guys work for the government.

Agent Rondale

: Oh yeah. I'm around you guys so much I forgot.

Paddy McGinty

: I know I have you guys to help me.

GM

: To nobble rival politicos, for example.

Agent Johnson

: I was never there.

 

 

 

 

When the police DO show up, Rondale can at least claim they have prior experience with murderous lunatics - after all, they've employed McGinty - and convinces Detective Poole to cough up any information they might have regarding the criminals. It would appear the cultists in question - if, indeed, they are cultists, and not just some slightly unusual muggers who target fourth story hotel rooms - have killed at least nine other people the same way. Creatively dissected corpses have been turning up all over New York, and there's no apparently link between the victims - ordinary housewives, booksellers, bartenders, priests, etc - no-one is safe. Rondale promises to find out what he can, and heads back to the cult bunker they confiscated for government use, after using flamethrowers on the contents. Elias' bibliography and a first glance at the clues suggests they'll be doing a lot of traveling.

 

Agent Rondale

: I can't go gallivanting off across the world after all this! I have too much work to do here as it is! I know - I'll send Frontbottom and Kelly instead.

GM

: ...... you want to send two escaped lunatics to do the investigation.

Agent Rondale

: Sure - they make perfect expendable assets

 

[Major Tom 2009]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The only problem with "expendable" assets is that -- most often and quite understandably --

they don't consider themselves to be expendable in any way, shape, or form.

 

Also, they're not shy about telling the person sending them out to be expendable assets

what he (or she) can do -- even if it is physiologically impossible.

 

 

 

Major Tom 2009

[Martin2]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You also said that they had much better kit than us (I play the dead guy in the description above). Our teleporter said "Can we have their GM?"

 

Welcome to the board.

 

Yes their GM is better than yours but also the players are also a lot easier on their GM .

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The only problem with "expendable" assets is that -- most often and quite understandably --

they don't consider themselves to be expendable in any way, shape, or form.

 

Also, they're not shy about telling the person sending them out to be expendable assets

what he (or she) can do -- even if it is physiologically impossible.

 

Oh, I doubt Rondale will tell them they're expendable - he most likely say "You lucky people! You've won an all expenses paid holiday to these places. Could you do me a favour and ask these people if they're cultists? Don't forget to send a postcard"

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Rogue Trader : Beetle Mania

With a Necrontyr artefact on the loose on the Sycorax, Jak has ordered an evacuation. The Pukusians of course want to know why all their new human friends are suddenly on a dead run for the lifeboats, but oddly enough nobody else gets disintegrated before everybody is off the ship, and retreated to a safe distance. 50,000 kilometres is probably safe. Everybody that is but Casu Marzu, who does know the meaning of the word safe, and the 40 million other terms he has on his vocabulary chip, but doesn't care. He stays on board to see what the artefact is up to. Carno Sarvus circles the ship, hoping that it tries to leave and head for the planet below - it's probably not very manoeuvrable in space, and he honestly believes he could take it down.

GM

: It could always build a springboard on the prow of the

Sycorax

and launch itself towards Pukus like that - bounce bounce SPROING

 

Lord-Commodore Leman van Baroque

: I heard you can kill Necrontyr by spraying gold into their chest vents. But I'll shut up now, or the GM will scowl at me and the BBC lawyers will show up.

 

The Lord-Commodore is woken from his recurring nightmares of Marzu back in the Captain's chair, only to be given the news that his shiny new salvage may have to be blown out of the sky.

GM

: Your personal servants have your breakfast prepared already - reconstituted dodo eggs, delicately seared slivers of chiggock on toast, kiwi juice and a cupfull of the anti-stress pills the medicæ have you on. It's all on a little wheeled trolley so you can eat as you go.

Navigator Netzach Benetek

: Hey! Why don't I get a snack crew?

GM

: I'm sorry, but a little wheeled trolley wouldn't cut it for you. You'd need an entire airline luggage cart.

 

Everybody is surprised and rather alarmed when the engines on the Sycorax start up. Judging from the neutrino output they're running at full power, but the energy doesn't seem to be going anywhere. And when Marzu plugs himself into the security cameras, he sees the Enginarium swarming with something that at first glance appears to be static, but which he soon realises are hundreds, if not thousands, of plate-sized beetle-like devices, busily doing something to the machinery.

 

Marzu decides to investigate on the scene, especially after something cuts the camera feed, and the remote engine shutdown protocols refuse to work. Of course, he's not going down there without some ablative armour, and tells Jaranthine to send over 5 of his Stryxis Vat-Brutes, armed with lascannons, multimeltas, and missile launchers.

GM

: Or as you described them to the Pukusians 'long-distance flashlights, portable microwave ovens, and material delivery systems'

 

Navigator Netzach Benetek

: We come over with 3 Vat-brutes

Magos Casu Marzu

: I asked for 5

Navigator Netzach Benetek

: Sorry, I got a bit peckish on the flight over

 

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: We'll reserve the teleportarium for emergencies.

GM

: Yes, you might need to pull the fat from the fire *

glances at Benetek

*

 

Magos Casu Marzu

: You went across in a shuttle? Why didn't you use a lighter? Oh right, you wouldn't fit.

 

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Don't tell the Space Wolf we're about to go into combat. Until Marzu can finish his new legs he's more of a liability than an asset. Don't tell him I said that, either.

 

The Enginarium approaches are indeed swarming with the beetle-things, which seem to be busily dismantling the ship piece by piece. Jaranthine orders the rest of the Vat-Brutes across, backed up with human weapons teams, to try and keep them contained to the engine compartment, but unfortunately only Marzu has any EMP grenades on him. Over half the teams are soon overrun and dismantled by the Scarabs, and even Sarvus in his guncutter gets involved, opening fire on one of the dorsal galleries when he sees an armsman team being eaten alive behind the stained glassteel windows. Marzu, Benetek and the Brutes get to the Enginarium alive, but not before Benetek and the astropath Adrik feel the psychic TWANG of something under tension being suddenly punctured. That would probably be the Warp Portal the Scarabs are assembling before the red-hot glow of the engines - a shimmering green doorway to somewhere. The likelihood of themselves and the entire engineering deck going up in a cloud of vapour notwithstanding, Marzu decides the best option now is to arrange an impromptu containment failure of the fusion reactors, before anything can come out of the doorway.

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Minor accidents should not require an EPA statement!

Magos Casu Marzu

: Sez you *

fires a lascannon into the plasma engines

*

 

Happily, Jaranthine was able to teleport them out before the chamber was awash with nuclear plasma. That, at least, should slow the horde down, and make unlife interesting for whatever was stirring on the far side of the portal. Going back in via a different route, to check that this work, the group are nearly surprised by the original artefact, which zeros in on them at speed, ignoring little things like walls or bulkheads on the way. Benetek only picks it up at the last minute, despite his psychic awareness of moving masses.

Magos Casu Marzu

: It only registers objects bigger than he is - so, not much.

 

Marzu rigs a large pile of demolition charges as bait, before running for his life in the opposite direction. Both actions prove very wise, since he gets his first good look at what the device actually is.

 

Magos Casu Marzu

: If I still had a sphincter it would be puckering.

 

Unfortunately, despite the ensuing explosion wrecking three decks and punching bulkheads out like party poppers, the Tomb Stalker is now merely damaged and highly pissed off. Marzu takes three Gauss flayer shots to the face, and to his own amazement, survives. The Vat-Brutes also pour fire into the machine, but still fail to take it down. It's time for Benetek to reveal why he's been sitting so uncomfortably on his hoverboard all day...

GM

: Behind you Benetek is attempting to reach down behind himself, into the crevice between his buttocks and hoverboard...

Magos Casu Marzu

: What?!?

GM

: ...He's pulling something out...

Magos Casu Marzu

: Oh god!

GM

: ...It's about five feet long

Carno Sarvus

: Argh!

GM

: ... with a green crystal, barrel, and blade at one end

Magos Casu Marzu

: You sod. I always knew you were hiding things in your Black Holds

 

But even the Necrontyr's own weaponry isn't enough, as the giant multilegged killing machine storms down the corridor towards them...

GM

: Jaranthine teleports into mid-air three feet above the Tomb Stalked, and lands upon its back, already swinging his power sword. The blade slices instantly through the living metal, severing the thing's head in a shower of flaring power. The sensors and weapons blaze and spasm, once, before it slumps to ground, motionless but for slow writhing twitches.

Magos Casu Marzu

: What kept you?

 

After that, with the scarabs decimated and lacking leadership, it's relatively easy to force entry back into the engine room. Although their plans to deal with the portal do lead to some debate. On the other hand, sending a squad of armoured Vat-Brutes through, blowing up the portal, and hoping the brutes survive long enough to detonate that highly illegal atomic bomb they've been carrying around since the second session, does solve a number of problems.

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: I refuse to be party to the tactic of thermonuclear petards

 

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Necrontyr tomb worlds, perfect for disposing of incriminating evidence.

 

GM

: And somewhere far away, on a lifeless world scoured down to charred bedrock by the fires of a cruel sun...

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Oh no.

GM

: Hmm?

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Someone is going to pick up the radiation signature of a thermonuclear explosion coming from a supposedly lifeless world, and dispatch an Explorator ship to investigate.

Magos Casu Marzu

: Sucks to be them.

 

GM

: At least you got a nice trophy out of it.

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: NO. Every part of that Tomb Stalker is going to be destroyed - I do NOT like the way Necrontyr technology regenerates

Magos Casu Marzu

: Really? I'm sure they're dead now. See? I'm already making Scarab keyrings for everybody.

 

After that it's a matter of finishing the basic repairs on the Sycorax, splitting the crew between the two ships, and making their way back to Zayth. Jaranthine also has one of the decks converted into an arena where disaffected crewmen can seek justice by combat. Naturally there'll be balconies for the officers to watch from.

GM

: There's a number of Pukusian architects that have asked if they can design this 'sports arena' you want to add to the

Rose Tattoo

.

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Um, no. Tell them there are certain cultural requirements we can better handle ourselves.

Carno Sarvus

: The rotating knives...

GM

: Blood gutters...

Carno Sarvus

: Splatter guards...

 

But what of the mysterious origins of the X-1 Unit, and the fate of Bel Ingeneri, that got them out here in the first place? Should they risk seeking out the exact source, or simply settle for taking Ingeneri's ship? Perhaps the last few entries in his log will help them decide...

GM

: You could wake the Lord-Commodore from his drug-induced stupor and ask him.

 

Ingeneri's Logbook

:

We have arrived without incident.The system appears entirely ordinary, although the tech-adepts have expressed interest in certain augeries they have made. I have ordered them to continue scanning, as we move past the ice rings and joins into the inner system.

 

As hoped, the salvage here will profit me mightily - the two ships, even in the state they are, ensure me a governor's ransom in technology. I will not, of course, inform the Astartes of my discovery - it seems unlikely they would appreciate my interest. The cartographers have charted their orbits - they intersect near the inner world. I have decided to name it Pearl.

 

I leave for the surface. There are structures that may prove profitable.

 

Magos Casu Marzu

: Why do we even want to waste our time going there? We've already got his ship and all this loot.

Carno Sarvus

: He may have found a planet of nubile women.

Magos Casu Marzu

: We need to go there. Now.

Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin

: Why? You no longer function that... oh, wait, you've got mechadendrites. Never mind.

 

The mystery can wait. With exclusive trading rights with Zaythi landships and a whole new alien race, and a newly acquired space station and frigate, the van Baroque fortunes are finally on their way up. Besides, there's still that planetful of Logicians to stomp into a red paste...

Jak Frost

: What did I miss?

GM

: Benetek pulling a Necrontyr Gauss Flayer out of his crack.

Carno Sarvus

: Ew.

Magos Casu Marzu

: Not even the Necrontyr want that one back.

 

And with that, Year One of the campaign closes. After a break for me from GMing, we will return to the game to see how the Rose Tattoo does in persecuting the Second Logician War.

[Christopher]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

magos casu marzu: Why do we even want to waste our time going there? We've already got his ship and all this loot.

carno sarvus: He may have found a planet of nubile women.

magos casu marzu: We need to go there. Now.

seneschal jaranthine hamerin: Why? You no longer function that... Oh, wait, you've got mechadendrites. Never mind.

 

While he propably has little interest in their Brains, it think it is because he wants to make them into servitors.

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

While he probably has little interest in their Brains, it think it is because he wants to make them into servitors.

 

Casu Marzu, Pimp of Mars

[Manic Typist]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So.... what is the Logician faction all about? (Awesome stuff, btw).

[Major Tom 2009]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Man, I've heard of some guys being so tough that they actually excrete bricks, but Benetek

just had to go one better than that, didn't he? Passing an entire Necron Gauss weapon?!

 

As for the bit about persecuting the Second Logician War, I started to ask if the word should've

been "prosecuting" instead of "persecuting", but then I remembered that this is the Warhammer

40K universe we're talking about here, so "persecuting" probably is the appropriate word here

after all ()...

 

 

 

Major Tom 2009

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Man, I've heard of some guys being so tough that they actually excrete bricks, but Benetek

just had to go one better than that, didn't he? Passing an entire Necron Gauss weapon?!

 

As for the bit about persecuting the Second Logician War, I started to ask if the word should've

been "prosecuting" instead of "persecuting", but then I remembered that this is the Warhammer

40K universe we're talking about here, so "persecuting" probably is the appropriate word here

after all ()...

 

nah, you're right, that was a typo on my part. And re the Guass Flayer, he had merely smuggled it onto the Sycorax by sitting on it. He'd kept it concealed because he wanted it to be a surprise