Christopher Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A bizarre scene? Samm: Did he just cut his own heart out? Goguin: Self-sacrificing Aztecs, what will they think of next. Famous last words: "What do I need a heart for anyway?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Definitely a cut above the rest. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our Rogue Trader game... In the middle of a firefight, our Tech Priest is trying to re-boot the ship's computer. As laser blasts and bolter shells are exploding around him, he starts to lose his cool. Magos Meretek: Will you please be more careful??? This is an extremely delicate operation! Now, someone pass me that 12-pound sledge hammer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our Rogue Trader game... In the middle of a firefight, our Tech Priest is trying to re-boot the ship's computer. As laser blasts and bolter shells are exploding around him, he starts to lose his cool. Magos Meretek: Will you please be more careful??? This is an extremely delicate operation! Now, someone pass me that 12-pound sledge hammer. And thus we see the definition of "extremely delicate" in "Warhammer"...Heh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our Rogue Trader game... In the middle of a firefight, our Tech Priest is trying to re-boot the ship's computer. As laser blasts and bolter shells are exploding around him, he starts to lose his cool. Magos Meretek: Will you please be more careful??? This is an extremely delicate operation! Now, someone pass me that 12-pound sledge hammer. "Give me the 40k Iron, please..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Jak's Player : I won't be here for the next few sessions. GM : That's okay, I'll just make sure you're horribly injured this week, and out of commission til you get back. Jak's Player : For a few weeks? GM :Sure - it might take Jaranthine that long to find you a new head. Marzu, Jak, Carno, and Netzach, in the company of the battery-pack servitor, are nervously poking at the apparently inert stasis cage around the Necrontyr artefact they've discovered. Before they let Marzu do more than merely inspect it from a distance, the others insist of searching the smuggler's hold for anything that might given them a chance of survival, in the event the Necron device wakes up. A pristine Leman Russ battletank is a start. Jak Frost : We'll have to jumpstart the tank first - hey, Nipple Man, over here! Magos Casu Marzu : Yes, I'd like to do the whole John Woo thing too, and drive a tank around shooting the place up. Netzach Benetek continues to suffer the results of his increasingly inhuman obesity. GM : Your hoverboard is so overloaded it barely clears shag carpet GM : Sure, you can get up there - just flex your buttocks, that should work the hoverboard controls. Magos Casu Marzu : Bags never cleaning that hoverboard. Jak Frost : S***, beat me to it. Navigator Netzach Benetek : But if anything happens and they run off, I'll be helpless! Magos Casu Marzu : And that would be hilarious GM : Don't worry, you can still get around a bit - admittedly by emulating an elephant seal wallowing up a beach. Jak Frost : I'm not leaving you behind! Magos Casu Marzu : I might. Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin : I need to get the Shocking upgrade to my Rod of Persuasion Jak's Player : That's funny, Jak's Rod of Persuasion uses Charm Magos Casu Marzu : But I'll stop now, or the GM will kill me. GM : Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies. Jak Frost : Or Netzach falls on you from the 9th floor. What an ignoble way to die. Magos Casu Marzu : And imagine the slow motion footage! Jak Frost : And in the distance you see a small mushroom cloud... it smells of bacon. Jak Frost : Hmm, this reminds me of my old tank commander... Throne, how I hated that bastard. Jak Frost : Brother Marzu? The tank is ready for the Activation Blessing. Magos Casu Marzu : Hmm? Oh, alright. *waves mechadendrites vaguely in direction* Operation Checklist blah blah blah. Jak Frost : ಠ_ಠ GM : What a pious man you are. Jak Frost : Is there a tank commander's hat I can wear? GM : No, but there's some paper, you can fold your own. Jak Frost : Hang about, I want to write something on it first ... C O M M I S A R Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin : Well, are asses are covered, anyway. Magos Casu Marzu : *looks at Netzach* That's a whole lot of covering While Marzu's efforts to ensure the stasis cage is recharged appear to have gone without a hitch, a certain amount of excitement intervenes, with the Sycorax reliving its last moments as a living ship. Else, Proctor Symthe and other crew sent across to find out why Marzu et al haven't checked in, are picking up the screams and panicked orders from 50 years ago, as the Void Kraken or whatever it was chewed the ship apart. GM : The entire ship shakes Magos Casu Marzu : I check whether Netzach fell off the ninth floor. Magos Casu Marzu : I do it for the same reason I'd want to drive a tank around inside a space ship - BECAUSE IT'S COOL. GM : Shame the tank doesn't have magnetic treads, or you could just drive it up the side of the ship. All : ... Magos Casu Marzu : Just a minute, I want to make a mental note here... mag... netic... treads. Jak Frost : Boarding actions in tanks! Magos Casu Marzu : Fit them with some kind of gas jet and fly across! Jak Frost : "Captain! The humans are boarding us!" "Well, shoot them." "But sir, they're in tanks! " ".... what? " and " How the F*** did they fit a Baneblade into a boarding torpedo!?" Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin : What kind of Leman Russ battletank is it? Prime pattern or one of the variants? Jak's Player : ... Optimus pattern... Magos Casu Marzu : If that tank suddenly transforms into a robot we're really in trouble. Jak's Player : "Dakka is the right of all sentient lifeforms" It seems that these echoes of the past are suppressed by the presence of the Pukusian psychic blanks - certainly, they haven't noticed any problems with 50-year-old events replaying themselves in their presence. For one thing, it would have interfered with their efforts of stripping the ship bare for study by their scientists. But there is still plenty of stuff the Pukusians haven't found yet, that the explorers proceed to loot. Searching the Command Spire for the late Lord-Captain Ingeneri's Warrant of Trade is a priority, but they can still have some fun while they were doing it. Voidsman Carno Sarvus : I want to try the Captain's command throne for size. Jak Frost : Hey, get out of there! Voidsman Carno Sarvus : My paper hat says CAPTAIN, I outrank you! Unfortunately, Ingeneri wasn't completely stupid, despite apparently ordering his ship into the Warp without Geller Fields. For one thing, one of the likely hiding places turns out to contain an acid bomb. Jak realises his error in time, but it's too late for everybody else that was standing behind him. GM : Evidently, the moment you realised it was a bomb you threw it away. At Carno. Voidsman Carno Sarvus : I'm screaming in 3 languages. GM : And Pukusian? Voidsman Carno Sarvus : 4 languages. The acid makes pretty short work of Carno and Netzach's void-suits, and large amounts of flesh underneath, although Marzu merely develops an annoyed look at the damage to his paintwork. The Pukusian escort, who's space suit wasn't nearly as durable as those worn by the humans, isn't so lucky. Magos Casu Marzu : Tell them to send another blancmange, this one's broken. But even this proves little more than a minor distraction from the ongoing effort to strip the Sycorax of everything that isn't nailed down. Including that Battletank, the platoon's worth of Imperial Guard supplies hidden in the smuggler's hold, and all the gold leaf, statuary, tapestries and objets de art that Ingeneri used to make guests and crew insane with envy. GM : Lord-Commodore van Baroque approves, of course - he's tired of living in a ship where all the walls are painted Mental Asylum Green. GM : Marzu snorts derisively at Ingeneri's encoded log - it's only a 137-digit prime encryption. He could do it in his head - and does Jak's Player : "Met a Xenos named Eldrad - nice enough for alien scum, but seemed a bit gullible" Fifty years later - Void Kraken! Leaving the details of how Ingeneri robbed the Zaythi of their holy artefacts, and what he actually found at the place he met his doom, for later, Jaranthine and the others return to the question of how much stuff they can brow-beat the Pukusians into handing over. Convincing them to make the components and armour they'll need to get the Sycorax spaceworthy seems a good idea. GM : 'Make us five of these - ignore the bit where it says 'Orbital Bombardment Cannon'' The Pukusians get the first look at the Rose Tattoo's navigator. Pukusian diplomat : ....Is the manling pregnant? Magos Casu Marzu : Only if it's a baby whale. Navigator Netzach Benetek : In two weeks I burst open... Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin : There's standing orders - if it ever looks like your Navigator is about to captured by Kroot, you kill him and burn him to ash, so they can't eat him and learn Warp navigation. GM : *nods* the Qorl species recently became Warp-capable - they captured human Navigators and implanted control insects in their brains. Magos Casu Marzu : I can sabotage their entire race! Give them our last Navigator... GM : What?! Your latest mutation didn't make you any bigger? Navigator Netzach Benetek : I know, I'm disappointed as well. GM : I was hoping your movements penalties would take you into negatives - so fat your gravitational field stops other people getting away. Magos Casu Marzu : I'll have to drop by the mechanics, to get treated for underbelly rust. It costs a lot, I know, but hey, you've got to look after yourself. Magos Casu Marzu : *sings* We're tech-priests and we know it. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle UH. Marzu eventually agrees to teach the Pukusians enough about the production of Adamantium and Ceramite armour, and starship components, and plascrete and plasteel, to ensure the repairs to the Sycorax and the building of the Rose Tattoo's embassy on Planet 3 can proceed without delay. For one thing, Pukusian vegetables are uniformly lethal to humans, so they'll need lots of arable land to supply the embassy staff. GM : It's pretty clear that any human that tried a bite of this fruit would be on the ground foaming at both ends, in seconds. Magos Casu Marzu : Can we get some of of this and make a chemical weapon? To feed into an enemy ship's life support systems? GM : ... *sigh* sure Jak Frost : Pukusian pepper spray XD Pukusian architects and engineers jump at the chance to explore the combination of aesthetics and materials. Benetek's Player : So how about something halfway there, sketched by drhoz? A crossover between Imperial skulls and Pukusian igloo style? (let's put the gm to work! ) Voidsman Carno Sarvus : While I do see a number of Pukusian buildings being of similar architecture, its a relatively inefficient design (for humans at least) and would take a supreme effort to build and design while also fitting our needs. While it does exist today design such as this may not exist in the 41st millennium, you have to remember that the Imperium likes conformity, even the more radical designers and architects still have imperial backgrounds. This is because anything strange and not conforming to such design could be seen as heretical. I do understand that the party is not strictly pious but habits die hard. Seneschal Jaranthine Hamerin : The party, no. But certain party members are, even if they're more, uh... protestant than orthodox. Jak's Player : So what Olaf is asking for is basically an Eskimo S&M club. Club those seals, baby! Benetek's Player : Oops, was it that obvious...? Now to ruin your appetite: imagine Netzach in some leather GM : godammit, I was just about to eat. Of course, they also have to explain why they need such durable materials. This they attempt to do by convincing the Pukusians that the Galaxy is completely full of psychotic bastards, but you can trust us. Honest. GM : *dryly* How fortunate, in a universe consisting entirely of psychopaths, that it was the Imperium of Man that found the Pukusians first. Voidsman Carno Sarvus : I dream of a day when the Galaxy is at peace, all the races living together as one. Jak's Player : The Sisters of Battle retired to use their chainswords as hedge trimmers... GM : The Reasonable Marines must have made an alliance with the Equestrians. Jak's Player : Love and Tolerate, Xenos scum. GM : Nothing can resist the Orbital Friendship Cannon. Jak's Player : All the races apart from the Tyranids. F*** those guys. GM : Eh, just let Pinkie Pie lead them off somewhere harmless. Magos Casu Marzu : Colourful Blancmanges GM : They're not that soft - except perhaps militarily. This, of course, necessitates efforts by Jak to teach the Pukusians how to defend themselves. The Pukusians agree that it's important to protect your nest, and I'm sure they'll learn a lot from Jak's demonstrations of human military tactics and technology. GM : I'm amused by the mental image of Jak banging his head against a tree, while the Pukusians make their comically inept attempts at military exercise in the background. After the latest terrifyingly inept efforts at artillery practise by Pukusian volunteers, Jak orders more human weapons brought down from the Sycorax. They get back to him with a query - Proctor Symthe : Ah, sir? Did you order anybody to move anything else in here? Jak Frost : ... whhhhhhy? Proctor Symthe : Because that big metal box you told us not to go anywhere near isn't there anymore. Jak Frost : Oh crap. What about the people I left on guard? Can you see them anywhere? Proctor Symthe : I'll check.... no, no sign of them either sir. Jak Frost : Oh double crap. The Necrontyr are loose - and the Explorers can only pray they get everybody off the Sycorax before any more humans get reduced to a thin layer of greasy soot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Holck Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... lost over the Bermuda triangle, the party comes across a tall ship made of whale bone Orca: This is Terrible Plant Matter: Now you know how I feel when ever a see a wooden ship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Netzach Benetek continues to suffer the results of his increasingly inhuman obesity. GM : Your hoverboard is so overloaded it barely clears shag carpet GM : Sure, you can get up there - just flex your buttocks, that should work the hoverboard controls. Magos Casu Marzu : Bags never cleaning that hoverboard. Jak Frost : S***, beat me to it. ...... And thank you s-o-o-o-o much for the mental imagery that this has led to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... ...... And thank you s-o-o-o-o much for the mental imagery that this has led to. You think you've got it bad? I have to illustrate these characters.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... You think you've got it bad? I have to illustrate these characters.... Ack!!! You win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... You think you've got it bad? I have to illustrate these characters.... Why? Lucius Alexander The palinromedary refrains from drawing conclusions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Why? Lucius Alexander The palinromedary refrains from drawing conclusions because I'm a glutton for punishment? After all, I GM for them too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 4, 2012 Report Share Posted May 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Magos Casu Marzu: Tell them to send another blancmange, this one's broken. That's what happens when you're living on the ceiling for too long ()... Major Tom 2009 '80s Retro-Tech Rat ******* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olaf van Tol Posted May 5, 2012 Report Share Posted May 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... ...... And thank you s-o-o-o-o much for the mental imagery that this has led to. you're reaching for brain-bleach already? And he actually left out the bit of Netzach in leather in his S&M iglo ... (which came up just before Drhoz' dinner, which he will regret eternally *wicked grin* ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 6, 2012 Report Share Posted May 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... you're reaching for brain-bleach already? And he actually left out the bit of Netzach in leather in his S&M iglo ... (which came up just before Drhoz' dinner' date=' which he will regret eternally *wicked grin* )[/quote'] No that's in there, just moved up to the rest of the embassy discussion. *shudders at the sudden mental image of the embassy parties.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 12, 2012 Report Share Posted May 12, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The investigators are gathered on the platform at the Boston & Maine train station in Arkham, having narrowly avoided death at the hands of a trainload of carnivorous ape-men. GM : Speaking of ape-like things... this is Prof. Deborah Einstein. Prof. Deborah Einstein : Paddy McGinty : You can't even go on a little vacation without this happening. Agent Johnson : I need to get more dynamite, I used most of mine on the train. McGinty is annoyed with Aldous, the latter having had him committed him to a sanatorium for treatment, and from which he promptly escaped. Indeed, he's so annoyed he sics his Irish Wolfhound on his employee. GM : Exit stage right, pursued by a bear. Or rather, Irish wolfhound. Then again, given what McGinty has trained it to do... ballshound? Knobhound. Prof. Deborah Einstein : I need to powder my nose. Paddy McGinty : That's a lot of powder. GM : ... Ouch. One of the other survivors is a Thomas Buckley, who was looking forward to a quiet holiday and instead found himself fighting for his life in the Battle of the Dining Car. Naturally, McGinty takes great delight in educating Mr. Buckley about just how horrible the Universe, and New England in particular, is. Agent Johnson's Player : So what's your Appearance? Thomas Buckley's Player : *checks* um.... 10? Agent Paul Rondale's Player : Dammit! Another ugly bastard. GM : Yes, this party is uniformly hideous, aren't they? Agent Paul Rondale's Player : With the exception of Aldous. GM : True, but anyone would look good compared to you lot. Thomas Buckley : They worship a fishgod? Why?!? Paddy McGinty : It's illegal. Illegal things are fun. GM : You should know. Thomas Buckley : Wait, why is it illegal? I thought we had freedom of religion in America. Paddy McGinty : Yeah, but most religions don't include man-eating fishgods. Thomas Buckley : Do you think the Dagon Cult had anything to do with the demon train? Agent Paul Rondale : ... No, it doesn't really seem like their style, does it? Prof. Deborah Einstein : Yeah. If you were a fish god, would YOU want to associate yourself with a bunch of carnivorous ape-men? GM : The handful of people the government actually captured after the disastrous Innsmouth Raid never got a trial. They all got shipped off to camps in Arizona. A couple of civil rights campaigners have complained about that. Paddy McGinty : Darn campaigners. The moment I'm Governor, no civil rights for anybody. Prof. Deborah Einstein : That would be tricky - they are guaranteed by the Constitution. Paddy McGinty : Hey, I've time-travelled before - I'll just pop back to 1787 Philadelphia with a machine-gun... DAKKADAKKADAKKA Paddy McGinty : Don't worry, I deal with this kind of thing every week. Thomas Buckley : 8-( GM : You haven't committed any major felonies in Louisiana. Yet. Agent Paul Rondale : I like the qualifier. Thomas Buckley : How does this Cult of Dagon operate? Paddy McGinty : *sings* Under the sea, under the sea... Rondale and Johnson understandably want to report the incident to their superiors at the Office of Naval Intelligence, before they make a second attempt to get to New Orleans and meet up with their superior, Agent Landing. But Rondale can't get through to either the New York OR Washington offices, and returns to the platform to find McGinty happily blabbing government secrets to a civilian. Agent Paul Rondale : McGinty! Paddy McGinty : F*** you, you locked me up, I'm going to make so much trouble for you. Agent Paul Rondale : You can't go around telling civilians this sort of stuff! This is Office of Naval Intelligence stuff! Paddy McGinty : But I'm not an ONI operative, I'm a freelance ... GM : Pain in the arse? Paddy McGinty : Pain the ar... shut up, you! I hate people who don't vote Democrat! Prof. Deborah Einstein : *facepalm* You're Republican. Paddy McGinty : Yeah, I'm drunk, too Paddy McGinty : I can do magic, too. Thomas Buckley : You... can... do... magic. Paddy McGinty : Yup. And I can read your mind. Pick a number! Thomas Buckley : Ok. Paddy McGinty : Three! Thomas Buckley : No, seven. Paddy McGinty : Three! Thomas Buckley : I'm pretty sure it was seven. GM : He's also got mind control and made you think it was seven. Thomas Buckley : Wow, you are good. Paddy McGinty : What are you complaining about, I have to go on safari to shoot monkeys, you guys got to do it on a train! That's good advertising right there. Like many people who have endured a conversation with McGinty, Buckley welcomes any interruption. GM : The real train is arriving. Thomas Buckley : Thank Jesus. Paddy McGinty : Do I get to shoot monkeys on this one? Paddy McGinty : I love trains... did you know if you jam that bit the engine explodes? Paddy McGinty : If you see somebody with scales and fishy traits, shoot 'em. GM : What, like lawyers? GM : Your comment about New York reminds me of an old story, back when Noah was still messing about in boats. It was a few weeks into the trip, and he'd noticed the Ark was developing a distinct list to port. So he sent one of his sons below to to find out why. He came back and said "It's all the animals, Dad, the manure is piling up." So Noah told him to shovel it overboard, and four thousand years later they called it Manhattan. Paddy McGinty : We should have got a zeppelin down there. I want to take my pants off and hang my arse out the window. Prof. Deborah Einstein : I know I'm going to regret asking, but why? Paddy McGinty : I just want to enjoy the same feeling a bird gets when it shits on someone's head. Prof. Deborah Einstein : Who was that weird English-sounding guy that dropped you off at the station? Paddy McGinty : Oh, him? That's Frontarse... Bumchin... Frontbottom! Agent Johnson : I learned that spell off you. GM : You get magic from other people - like herpes GM : The train is entering Louisiana Agent Paul Rondale : I can smell the inbreeding and moonshine already GM : We do have readers in Louisiana, you know... Agent Paul Rondale : Not anymore... Paddy McGinty : Hey look, a dog with scales! Oh, wait, that's an alligator. Arriving in New Orleans, the party are slightly alarmed when Agent Landing isn't there to meet them. Nor are any messages waiting. Nonetheless, they check into a hotel and prepare for the Cult of Dagon battle the telegram led them to expect. Thomas Buckley : I'll make sure to leave one chamber empty. GM : Yes, you wouldn't want to accidentally shoot yourself in the balls - I'm sure McGinty will do that for you, if it becomes necessary. Paddy McGinty : Can we get a segregated hotel? GM : In Louisiana in the 20s? I should think so... Paddy McGinty : I meant by gender - men on one side, women at the other. Agent Paul Rondale : Don't do that! If we put Deborah in one wing the hotel will lean over. Paddy McGinty : That was my joke, dips***! Prof. Deborah Einstein : Paddy McGinty : You just want to see me naked! Prof. Deborah Einstein : *shudders* Believe me, we don't. But enquiries lead to the discovery that the telegram was a fake; the real Agent Landing probably went up with the New York offices in a freak fire two days ago; and the entire Office of Naval Intelligence building in Washington collapsed in a freak engineering failure, with most of the employees and records inside, on the same day. Worse, ringing Aldous back in Arkham they discover that the ruse sending them into the clutches of the demon train ( and if that failed into the clutches of New Orleans ) left three of McGinty's most alarming real estate investments unguarded against burglary. And that two of McGinty's employees at Rondale and McGinty Automotive and Electrical Repair - the teenage thief Paddy employed on a whim, and the proud black gentleman they rescued from racist rednecks - have been murdered. The latter is missing, at least. And the killers used McGinty's industrial tools on the former. Agent Rondale : Who could do something like this? It doesn't seem like something the Cult of Dagon would do - too... overt. GM : Vitus certainly could. And Vitus isn't even close to the most dangerous sorcerer you've managed to irritate over the years. Remember at the start of Iron Ghost, when I said "This session is something that's been a long time coming"? I didn't mean your revenge on the cultists... I meant the cultist's revenge on YOU. They attempt to return to Arkham by the fastest means they know - summon a monster to fly them there. Hey, it got them out of a murder charge in the UK, after all. This time, it doesn't work so well. GM : McGinty, Rondale & Buckley and their luggage are hoist into the sky by the invisible giggling thing, and presumably back off to Arkham. Then you, Johnson, recast the spell to summon transport for yourself and Prof. Einstein. You see him standing there, confidently, suitcase in hand, as he waits for the creature to pick you both up and wend its way north. It certainly picks him up... Agent Johnson : Uh-oh... GM : You feel great claws and myriad ravenous mouths clutching at your flesh Agent Johnson : I struggle free and run GM : Professor Einstein, you see your compatriot yanked into the air, scream, fall, and flee from the park. Do you render assistance? Prof. Deborah Einstein : Hell no, I'm running the other way Johnson runs all the way back to the hotel, and pauses to listen for pursuit. He can hear the thing's giggling, and flees further into the building. The hotel clerk, watching all this in bewilderment, is further bewildered by the unearthly sniggering he can now hear... Agent Paul Rondale : You know, I think you enjoyed reading that description almost as much as the Star Vampire enjoyed exsanguinating that clerk. GM : Yup Agent Johnson : Ah... the Professor and I will be coming back on the train.. the one I summoned.. kind of ate a concierge. GM : At least this way you won't have to settle your hotel account Back in Arkham, before going to the police station to help with inquiries, McGinty et al conduct some investigating of their own. Certain remains, such as the mound of purulent black slime in the greenhouse, and the fragments in the the Salstonall Street secret tunnel, indicate that at least two of the killers fell victim to such traps McGinty and Rondale had prepared. Further evidence points towards a boarding house in New York, quite close to the Look To The Future bunker. Naturally, McGinty is out for revenge. This revenge soon entails brutally assaulting a boarding-house landlord and his wife, dragging them out to the aforementioned bunker, and threatening them with enhanced interrogation. What a shame that they don't actually know anything, and the suspects had all departed two days ago, mentioning only that they would be returning to their home in Egypt. That thread of evidence comes to a dead end, although the truck they used is, by chance, found abandoned in Harlem, still stained with the blood of the missing employee. GM : It's Paddy McGinty, not Peter McGinty. As in Paddy McGinty's Goat. Here's a useful mnemonic "McGinty = Butthead" Agent Paul Rondale : I'm given you a choice I didn't get myself, Buckley - just walk away. Don't get involved. The conflagration at the New York ONI office was particularly horrible, with people throwing themselves from the ninth storey window rather than face the flames. The authorities are certain it was arson, since the place went up as if it was doused in gasoline, but there was one survivor - Agent Landing, currently in the Mayo Clinic. It's an evil miracle he's still alive, and merciful that he has yet to regain conciousness - appallingly injured, fingers and parts of his hands burnt away by whatever he was facing in the fire. And, when they do return to Arkham to see the police, they learn the killers left a card on the boy's mutilated corpse - that of one Carl Stanford. GM : This session I've started tying up all the campaign loose ends before I start Masks of Nyarlathotep. It's a matter of the various cults you've pissed off comparing notes, and Loose Ends becoming Enough Rope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin2 Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I am running my champions game again I thought I would share this with you. Players are fighting with a super powered villain of my own creation and his sister Black Diamond (changes are she is British and possibly her back story is more mutant related). Black Diamond is keeping a few of the players busy. One of them being a magic based character with desolidification and a MP with lots of blasts. He has been pissing of Black Diamond as everytime she throws a punch he desolidifies and she misses. Giving up on him she decides to pick on a hero that she can hit (firstly by throwing a 5 ton skip of refuse through the desolidifying character at her and he desolidifies again) and then planes to charge through the hero. So a phase or so later he becomes solid and fires at her and misses so is solid when she charges. BD and I expect him to default to defencive and phase so missing another phase but letting BC get closer to another hero. But no! He says: ”I want to feel the effect of Black Diamond doing a mover through attack” So being the girl that she is she does a 15 dice move through attack! BANG the player takes 40 stun AFTER defences and lands on the other hero and spends a phase recovering. You don't often hear players say they want to "feel the effect of a move through" especialy not a blaster characters who can phase out and not take any damge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted May 13, 2012 Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... ”I want to feel the effect of Black Diamond doing a mover through attack” So being the girl that she is she does a 15 dice move through attack! BANG the player takes 40 stun AFTER defences and lands on the other hero and spends a phase recovering. You don't often hear players say they want to "feel the effect of a move through" especialy not a blaster characters who can phase out and not take any damge! That is one of those sentences you don't want to have written on your gravestone as "last words". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The investigators are gathered on the platform at the Boston & Maine train station in Arkham' date=' having narrowly avoided death at the hands of a trainload of carnivorous ape-men.[indent'] GM : Speaking of ape-like things... this is Prof. Deborah Einstein. Prof. Deborah Einstein : Paddy McGinty : You can't even go on a little vacation without this happening. Agent Johnson : I need to get more dynamite, I used most of mine on the train. [/indent] McGinty is annoyed with Aldous, the latter having had him committed him to a sanatorium for treatment, and from which he promptly escaped. Indeed, he's so annoyed he sics his Irish Wolfhound on his employee. GM : Exit stage right, pursued by a bear. Or rather, Irish wolfhound. Then again, given what McGinty has trained it to do... ballshound? Knobhound. Prof. Deborah Einstein : I need to powder my nose. Paddy McGinty : That's a lot of powder. GM : ... Ouch. One of the other survivors is a Thomas Buckley, who was looking forward to a quiet holiday and instead found himself fighting for his life in the Battle of the Dining Car. Naturally, McGinty takes great delight in educating Mr. Buckley about just how horrible the Universe, and New England in particular, is. Agent Johnson's Player : So what's your Appearance? Thomas Buckley's Player : *checks* um.... 10? Agent Paul Rondale's Player : Dammit! Another ugly bastard. GM : Yes, this party is uniformly hideous, aren't they? Agent Paul Rondale's Player : With the exception of Aldous. GM : True, but anyone would look good compared to you lot. Thomas Buckley : They worship a fishgod? Why?!? Paddy McGinty : It's illegal. Illegal things are fun. GM : You should know. Thomas Buckley : Wait, why is it illegal? I thought we had freedom of religion in America. Paddy McGinty : Yeah, but most religions don't include man-eating fishgods. Thomas Buckley : Do you think the Dagon Cult had anything to do with the demon train? Agent Paul Rondale : ... No, it doesn't really seem like their style, does it? Prof. Deborah Einstein : Yeah. If you were a fish god, would YOU want to associate yourself with a bunch of carnivorous ape-men? GM : The handful of people the government actually captured after the disastrous Innsmouth Raid never got a trial. They all got shipped off to camps in Arizona. A couple of civil rights campaigners have complained about that. Paddy McGinty : Darn campaigners. The moment I'm Governor, no civil rights for anybody. Prof. Deborah Einstein : That would be tricky - they are guaranteed by the Constitution. Paddy McGinty : Hey, I've time-travelled before - I'll just pop back to 1787 Philadelphia with a machine-gun... DAKKADAKKADAKKA Paddy McGinty : Don't worry, I deal with this kind of thing every week. Thomas Buckley : 8-( GM : You haven't committed any major felonies in Louisiana. Yet. Agent Paul Rondale : I like the qualifier. Thomas Buckley : How does this Cult of Dagon operate? Paddy McGinty : *sings* Under the sea, under the sea... Rondale and Johnson understandably want to report the incident to their superiors at the Office of Naval Intelligence, before they make a second attempt to get to New Orleans and meet up with their superior, Agent Landing. But Rondale can't get through to either the New York OR Washington offices, and returns to the platform to find McGinty happily blabbing government secrets to a civilian. Agent Paul Rondale : McGinty! Paddy McGinty : F*** you, you locked me up, I'm going to make so much trouble for you. Agent Paul Rondale : You can't go around telling civilians this sort of stuff! This is Office of Naval Intelligence stuff! Paddy McGinty : But I'm not an ONI operative, I'm a freelance ... GM : Pain in the arse? Paddy McGinty : Pain the ar... shut up, you! I hate people who don't vote Democrat! Prof. Deborah Einstein : *facepalm* You're Republican. Paddy McGinty : Yeah, I'm drunk, too Paddy McGinty : I can do magic, too. Thomas Buckley : You... can... do... magic. Paddy McGinty : Yup. And I can read your mind. Pick a number! Thomas Buckley : Ok. Paddy McGinty : Three! Thomas Buckley : No, seven. Paddy McGinty : Three! Thomas Buckley : I'm pretty sure it was seven. GM : He's also got mind control and made you think it was seven. Thomas Buckley : Wow, you are good. Paddy McGinty : What are you complaining about, I have to go on safari to shoot monkeys, you guys got to do it on a train! That's good advertising right there. Like many people who have endured a conversation with McGinty, Buckley welcomes any interruption. GM : The real train is arriving. Thomas Buckley : Thank Jesus. Paddy McGinty : Do I get to shoot monkeys on this one? Paddy McGinty : I love trains... did you know if you jam that bit the engine explodes? Paddy McGinty : If you see somebody with scales and fishy traits, shoot 'em. GM : What, like lawyers? GM : Your comment about New York reminds me of an old story, back when Noah was still messing about in boats. It was a few weeks into the trip, and he'd noticed the Ark was developing a distinct list to port. So he sent one of his sons below to to find out why. He came back and said "It's all the animals, Dad, the manure is piling up." So Noah told him to shovel it overboard, and four thousand years later they called it Manhattan. Paddy McGinty : We should have got a zeppelin down there. I want to take my pants off and hang my arse out the window. Prof. Deborah Einstein : I know I'm going to regret asking, but why? Paddy McGinty : I just want to enjoy the same feeling a bird gets when it shits on someone's head. Prof. Deborah Einstein : Who was that weird English-sounding guy that dropped you off at the station? Paddy McGinty : Oh, him? That's Frontarse... Bumchin... Frontbottom! Agent Johnson : I learned that spell off you. GM : You get magic from other people - like herpes GM : The train is entering Louisiana Agent Paul Rondale : I can smell the inbreeding and moonshine already GM : We do have readers in Louisiana, you know... Agent Paul Rondale : Not anymore... Paddy McGinty : Hey look, a dog with scales! Oh, wait, that's an alligator. Arriving in New Orleans, the party are slightly alarmed when Agent Landing isn't there to meet them. Nor are any messages waiting. Nonetheless, they check into a hotel and prepare for the Cult of Dagon battle the telegram led them to expect. Thomas Buckley : I'll make sure to leave one chamber empty. GM : Yes, you wouldn't want to accidentally shoot yourself in the balls - I'm sure McGinty will do that for you, if it becomes necessary. Paddy McGinty : Can we get a segregated hotel? GM : In Louisiana in the 20s? I should think so... Paddy McGinty : I meant by gender - men on one side, women at the other. Agent Paul Rondale : Don't do that! If we put Deborah in one wing the hotel will lean over. Paddy McGinty : That was my joke, dips***! Prof. Deborah Einstein : Paddy McGinty : You just want to see me naked! Prof. Deborah Einstein : *shudders* Believe me, we don't. But enquiries lead to the discovery that the telegram was a fake; the real Agent Landing probably went up with the New York offices in a freak fire two days ago; and the entire Office of Naval Intelligence building in Washington collapsed in a freak engineering failure, with most of the employees and records inside, on the same day. Worse, ringing Aldous back in Arkham they discover that the ruse sending them into the clutches of the demon train ( and if that failed into the clutches of New Orleans ) left three of McGinty's most alarming real estate investments unguarded against burglary. And that two of McGinty's employees at Rondale and McGinty Automotive and Electrical Repair - the teenage thief Paddy employed on a whim, and the proud black gentleman they rescued from racist rednecks - have been murdered. The latter is missing, at least. And the killers used McGinty's industrial tools on the former. Agent Rondale : Who could do something like this? It doesn't seem like something the Cult of Dagon would do - too... overt. GM : Vitus certainly could. And Vitus isn't even close to the most dangerous sorcerer you've managed to irritate over the years. Remember at the start of Iron Ghost, when I said "This session is something that's been a long time coming"? I didn't mean your revenge on the cultists... I meant the cultist's revenge on YOU. They attempt to return to Arkham by the fastest means they know - summon a monster to fly them there. Hey, it got them out of a murder charge in the UK, after all. This time, it doesn't work so well. GM : McGinty, Rondale & Buckley and their luggage are hoist into the sky by the invisible giggling thing, and presumably back off to Arkham. Then you, Johnson, recast the spell to summon transport for yourself and Prof. Einstein. You see him standing there, confidently, suitcase in hand, as he waits for the creature to pick you both up and wend its way north. It certainly picks him up... Agent Johnson : Uh-oh... GM : You feel great claws and myriad ravenous mouths clutching at your flesh Agent Johnson : I struggle free and run GM : Professor Einstein, you see your compatriot yanked into the air, scream, fall, and flee from the park. Do you render assistance? Prof. Deborah Einstein : Hell no, I'm running the other way Johnson runs all the way back to the hotel, and pauses to listen for pursuit. He can hear the thing's giggling, and flees further into the building. The hotel clerk, watching all this in bewilderment, is further bewildered by the unearthly sniggering he can now hear... Agent Paul Rondale : You know, I think you enjoyed reading that description almost as much as the Star Vampire enjoyed exsanguinating that clerk. GM : Yup Agent Johnson : Ah... the Professor and I will be coming back on the train.. the one I summoned.. kind of ate a concierge. GM : At least this way you won't have to settle your hotel account Back in Arkham, before going to the police station to help with inquiries, McGinty et al conduct some investigating of their own. Certain remains, such as the mound of purulent black slime in the greenhouse, and the fragments in the the Salstonall Street secret tunnel, indicate that at least two of the killers fell victim to such traps McGinty and Rondale had prepared. Further evidence points towards a boarding house in New York, quite close to the Look To The Future bunker. Naturally, McGinty is out for revenge. This revenge soon entails brutally assaulting a boarding-house landlord and his wife, dragging them out to the aforementioned bunker, and threatening them with enhanced interrogation. What a shame that they don't actually know anything, and the suspects had all departed two days ago, mentioning only that they would be returning to their home in Egypt. That thread of evidence comes to a dead end, although the truck they used is, by chance, found abandoned in Harlem, still stained with the blood of the missing employee. GM : It's Paddy McGinty, not Peter McGinty. As in Paddy McGinty's Goat. Here's a useful mnemonic "McGinty = Butthead" Agent Paul Rondale : I'm given you a choice I didn't get myself, Buckley - just walk away. Don't get involved. The conflagration at the New York ONI office was particularly horrible, with people throwing themselves from the ninth storey window rather than face the flames. The authorities are certain it was arson, since the place went up as if it was doused in gasoline, but there was one survivor - Agent Landing, currently in the Mayo Clinic. It's an evil miracle he's still alive, and merciful that he has yet to regain conciousness - appallingly injured, fingers and parts of his hands burnt away by whatever he was facing in the fire. And, when they do return to Arkham to see the police, they learn the killers left a card on the boy's mutilated corpse - that of one Carl Stanford. GM : This session I've started tying up all the campaign loose ends before I start Masks of Nyarlathotep. It's a matter of the various cults you've pissed off comparing notes, and Loose Ends becoming Enough Rope. Yet further proof that being a meddling investigator is a profession for which the prospects of long-term employment are most unlikely ()... Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Yet further proof that being a meddling investigator is a profession for which the prospects of long-term employment are most unlikely ()... Yup. The gloves are off. Indeed, there's a good chance half the characters will die in the first few minutes of next session Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Yup. The gloves are off. Indeed' date=' there's a good chance half the characters will die in the first few minutes of next session[/quote'] As GM do you get an achievement for that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Player 1: She's queen of the universe! Player 2: That seems a bit excessive, I'd settle for duke of the crab nebula. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted May 15, 2012 Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Doc, when I said I wanted a girl to talk dirty to me, I didn't have my colon in mind" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 15, 2012 Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... As GM do you get an achievement for that? Well, if McGinty dies as spectacularly as I hope, I might get a nomination for Style Kill. Rest assured I will describe it, at length, in excruciating detail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 15, 2012 Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... They attempt to return to Arkham by the fastest means they know - summon a monster to fly them there. See, that right there tells you that you're dealing with adventurers. Stupid, crazy, damn-near bound to backfire somehow, and yet it seems like a great idea at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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