Drhoz Posted May 21, 2012 Report Share Posted May 21, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I forget... doesn't Drhoz study spiders or something like that? Which can only mean one thing! Giant Spiders are trying to take over Australia! *smiles a little unhappily* Thanks for that, but sadly not anything nearly as amusing ( and yes, giant spiders would amuse me ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 21, 2012 Report Share Posted May 21, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *smiles a little unhappily* Thanks for that' date=' but sadly not anything nearly as amusing ( and yes, giant spiders would amuse me )[/quote'] Which is a good thing, because Michael Bay had the option to direct the film version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Which is a good thing' date=' because Michael Bay had the option to direct the film version.[/quote'] Exploding giant spiders taking over Australia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Exploding giant spiders taking over Australia? Something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assault Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Exploding giant spiders taking over Australia? "Tuesday." Wait, it's Tuesday now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Weapon Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *smiles a little unhappily* Thanks for that' date=' but sadly not anything nearly as amusing ( and yes, giant spiders would amuse me )[/quote'] As Dr. Henry (indiana) Jones pointed out, it's the small ones that are the worry, and since we've already got a lot of them why worry about the big ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethosos Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... At least he's not studying camel spiders. (Yes, I know they're pueso-scorpions, but they're larger than huntsmen spiders. And that's saying a lot.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Cthulhu. Roughly 60 sessions and at least two and a half years of gaming. And now, we wind up a campaign, start Masks of Nyarlathotep and say good riddance to Patrick 'Kiss Me, I'm Drunk' McGinty. Rondale bemoans the cruel fate that made him an investigator of the Mythos. Agent Rondale : Sure I wanted to protect my country, but I want to protect my family more! I just wanted to serve my time in the army, get out, and go find a real job - but no, Cthulhu. Agent Rondale : I want that spell changed, so it uses total magic, not remaining magic. GM : ಠ_ಠ Agent Rondale : Look at it this way, it'd encourage us to burn through insane amounts of sanity when we use it. Agent Johnson : Is Professor Einstein an investigator? Agent Rondale : No, she's more of a hanger-on. Agent Rondale : There are evil, evil men in the world, and McGinty has shat in their coffee. On the threat of the 'Esoteric', as Rondale puts it, during his meeting with the ONI oversight committee, in the aftermath of the cult attacks that left nine tenths of their agents dead, and most of their records destroyed. Prof. Deborah Einstein : Well, if you want to stop it being Esoteric, just teach it in school. Then it'll be exoteric. Agent Rondale : Sure, that'll go down well, when the kids learn Shrivelling and start burning each others faces off. Prof. Deborah Einstein : It'll stop being esoteric. Agent Rondale : Don't mention any of that when they're questioning you, alright? Prof. Deborah Einstein : Why not, it's constructive advice. GM : You might be the most experienced field agent they have left, but they can't exactly promote you from Private First Class to Director of ONI. Even if there are a lot of dead man's shoes to fill. Agent Rondale : A lot? We have to replace a shoe store! Nonetheless, it does look like Rondale will be rapidly promoted, and have a strong hand in rebuilding the organisation along those lines he's been pushing for since he started. More agents, for a start. Although, it seems likely they'll have to recruit assistance from the same sort of unpleasant groups ONI did in real life. Prof. Deborah Einstein : We could always send the KKK after Shub-Niggurath. Sounds like just the sort of thing they'll be up for. But what has McGinty been doing in the weeks since the murder of his employee and kidnapping of his friend? Not much, as far as anyone can tell. The other investigators speculate that he's escaped the local space-time globule, or is quietly fermenting somewhere. Agent Johnson : To return to our reality he merely has to sober up - that's why he's usually gone a while. Agent Rondale : He's like yeast - keep him in a bottle and pretty soon it'll fill up with alcohol. GM : Not really. McGinty only excretes alcohol if you poke holes in him. Rondale also wants to deal with any of the cult members still hidden behind the Hermetic Order of the Silver Twilight - certainly, he now has the men to do it. It'll be dangerous though. Agent Rondale : We want to employ people who are Smert. With thinking. GM : Then I guess you're going to bit annoyed when you have to go down to the police station in the morning, to bail out the ones you sent to scout the Silver Twilight Lodge. Agent Rondale : Oh for ****'s sake... GM : They didn't even get into the building before the cops spotted them. Agent Rondale : Oh, so we only had to lose nine-tenths of our agents before ONI can get the manpower it needs? ****ing typical. GM : It is a government department. You have to use up the ones you've got before you can requisition more. McGinty re-emerges. The death of Joey "Joe-Joe" Jameson and likely death of Talbot Vine have hit him hard. McGinty : Oh, and I've stopped drinking. GM : Who are you and what have you done with the real McGinty? Agent Rondale : McGinty, you've got to keep your fluids up! Prof. Deborah Einstein : What about the withdrawal symptoms? GM : He doesn't die. McGinty : Thanks to 50 generations of alcoholics behind me! McGinty : I don't come out much. GM : That'll hurt your election chances. McGinty : Stuff the election, I'm still plotting revenge against the ****s who killed Joey. When I do come out of the basement I'm wearing a welders mask and carrying tools. GM : Oh god, he's building the Iron Man suit. Actually, he's been making weapons to use against an enemy that has Gate Boxes, that won't destroy the Gate Boxes when used. GM : Why not use mustard gas? McGinty : Didn't think of that... although the Iron Man suit is a good idea too. GM : Uh-oh... GM : Alright, if both if you roll 01, I'll let you invent power armour. Agent Rondale's player : *rolls* 01! 01! 01! GM : WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! Agent Rondale : Don't I get anything for that 01? GM : Tell you what, once physics discovers nuclear fusion I'll let you have an ARC reactor, OK? Agent Rondale : *grins evilly* Professor, you're an astrophysicist, aren't you? GM : Oh no.... McGinty : I want to put a strap on the end of my elephant gun. GM : Why? McGinty : So I can fix it around a cultist's head as we march him up to the cult hide-out. Given the complete failure of the new recruits to infiltrate the Silver Twilight Lodge, Rondale is forced to do it himself. First, he meets up with Amy Well's father, the man who introduced them to the club in the first place. Apparently, there's been a bit of a scandal at the club - somebody absconded with the Treasury. And half the most senior members stopped attending. And in some cases abandoned their families as well. It looks like the cultists have all moved off for reasons unknown - but it's possible they left a few real cultists behind, just to see is ONI is still a threat. Mr Wells : And John Scott has left town too. Family matters, I think. McGinty : Wasn't he the leader of the Twilight Sparkle? Quite a few months ago, somebody commented that the worst enemy McGinty could have was an investigative journalist. They were right. The following headline greets McGinty two days before the election. Arson Scandal McGinty Accused Gubernatorial candidate linked to multiple fires, deaths Republican candidate Patrick McGinty, reputation already troubled by the brutal murder of an employee at one of his businesses last month, has now been accused of involvement in the death by arson of millionaire industrialist Randolph Putney and Dr. Nigel Thane, in July last year. Further research by this paper has linked McGinty, an army engineer and demolition expert prior to his involvement in politics, to no fewer than four other mysterious fires and explosions across New England, one of them the scene of still unexplained additional violence and disappearances. The accuser, whose identity remains protected until police and fire officials can complete their investigations, claims that McGinty and his associates were attempting to gain the confidence of Putney heir Rupert, and when the elder Putney thwarted them in this, resorted to causing the fire that killed the two men and burned the residence to the ground. The younger Putney has been recovering in a private sanatorium since the fire, but when questioned insisted that he “was sure [McGinty] was always acting out of my best interests”. Investigations by this newspaper have brought to light McGinty’s connection to other scenes of violence. As reported in this paper at the time, McGinty was seen at the so-called Martensen Death House last August, destroyed two nights later in a fiery explosion. Human remains found at the house are still unidentified, but resident Mr Stuart David Cabot-Jenkins of New York remains missing. Further damaging to McGinty’s reputation are three incidents in Arkham. These include an explosion and fire that injured three people, and that McGinty admitted responsibility for at the time; an explosion at his own house that destroyed a section of the upstairs floor, and the cause of which remains obscure; and the destruction by fire and explosion of a property adjacent to his own, in which one man was grievously injured, a woman nearly killed, and which McGinty subsequently purchased and rebuilt as one of his commercial properties. At the time, the latter was attributed to an accidental gas leak, but the fire investigator assigned to ascertain the cause died suddenly less than a week after the incident. Any persons with further information about these incidents are urged to speak to Boston or Arkham police and fire fighters. Boston Fire Chief J. Coltrane has already told this paper that he will re-open the Martensen and Putney investigations as soon as his office can study the evidence presented. Mr. McGinty and his political advisers could not be approached for comment. McGinty : What do they mean, couldn't be approached for comment! I've been here all week! GM : Hey, you were the one who said you weren't leaving the basement. Besides, it's not like they were inclined to try very hard... The paper doesn't give the name of their informant or writer. Agent Johnson : That makes sending an assassin difficult. Agent Rondale : We'll gladly comment if this alleged witness comes forward. *attempts to look harmless* McGinty swings into action. Not by hunting down the reporter and witness responsible, which as it happens would have got him and everybody else horribly killed, but by a masterful speech to the press, defending himself against these charges and challenging his election rival to a public debate. Meanwhile, his mob contacts go after the newspaper itself, hijacking their paper supplies, stirring up union trouble, and setting the building on fire. This, admittedly, works, but leaves the question on how to destroy the Democrat candidate. Alas, the number of spells McGinty and company have at their disposal gives them a range of obnoxious possibilities. The Dominate spell looks like their best bet, and lends itself nicely to the generation of scandal. Agent Johnson : We could always sic a monster on him, instead. Agent Rondale : That lacks subtlety. GM : Lacks subtlety. Really? As opposed to your other suggestions of having him him jerk off in public, or molesting a sheep on stage? Agent Johnson : How about attack McGinty with his bare hands? Agent Rondale : Combine both - drop his pants, then attack. What a shame that Rondale's plans for a supernatural defence agency requires Mythos-knowledgeable politicians like McGinty in power. Because the Democratic candidate is a much nicer person than the Irish Bastard. Agent Rondale : Crap, this guy sounds like someone I would have voted for. Sad to relate, their plan goes off without a hitch, destroying the other candidate's chances, career, reputation, marriage and life. McGinty even gets to punch him out after he snaps himself free of the mesmeric control, and attacked McGinty in rage. Agent Johnson : Your opponent wasn't holding anything back. McGinty : I should have seen it coming GM : *sigh* I shouldn't have agreed to the public debate, should have I? Agent Johnson : It turned into a public mass debate GM : Well, lets see how much that debacle swung the vote in your favour, shall we? *rolls d100* 100%?!?!?! *cries* McGinty : *dances around the room and poses on rooftops as the rioters sing Irish drinking ballads on every corner* The unfortunate rival will of course be subject to many cruel jokes over coming years. GM : Boston - Land of the bean and 'cod' McGinty : Minuteman XD Much worse, Massachusetts now has McGinty as Governor - not just a murderous and duplicitous scumbag, but mobster, arsonist, mad bomber, extortionist, and necromancer. Oh, and cradle-snatcher, since he's now free to marry that hot Gamwell librarian, to put the cap on all his new power, wealth, influence, and public acclaim. And then there's the new-look ONI where as many agents as possible are given anachronistic weapons and taught the basics of magical warfare, and raising the dead is just another name for Human Resources. The future is doomed.... GM : Unbelievable - you actually managed to pull yourself free of the New England Shit Vortex Agent Johnson : The other guy just pulled himself. Agent Rondale : If we get another vampire we know to look after it. This isn't like adopting a stray dog. What else remains to be said? All we are left with is a mental image of the victorious McGinty... Actually, I lie. McGinty does achieve one last measure of notoriety, as the other investigators turn their attentions to the case of one Jackson Elias, and McGinty turns his attentions to becoming President. But I'll save that for the next post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM : Alright, if both if you roll 01, I'll let you invent power armour. Agent Rondale's player : *rolls* 01! 01! 01! GM : WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! [...] GM : Well, lets see how much that debacle swung the vote in your favour, shall we? *rolls d100* 100%?!?!?! *cries* McGinty : *dances around the room and poses on rooftops as the rioters sing Irish drinking ballads on every corner* There a days the GM should just not let a dice roll decide anyhting. Agent Johnson : We could always sic a monster on him, instead. Agent Rondale : That lacks subtlety. GM : Lacks subtlety. Really? As opposed to your other suggestions of having him him jerk off in public, or molesting a sheep on stage? Agent Johnson : How about attack McGinty with his bare hands? Agent Rondale : Combine both - drop his pants, then attack. What was thier final "Weapon of Choice" for this "character assassination"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... There a days the GM should just not let a dice roll decide anyhting. What was thier final "Weapon of Choice" for this "character assassination"? Drop pants and demonstrate the use of his 'weapon of choice'. During the debate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Drop pants and demonstrate the use of his 'weapon of choice'. During the debate. Did he do the Christopher Walken dance as well while he was doing it? Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethosos Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What was thier final "Weapon of Choice" for this "character assassination"? I believe he purposely showed the public his "campaign staff" before doing a little "mudslinging". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... mcginty : I don't come out much. gm : That'll hurt your election chances. mcginty : Stuff the election, i'm still plotting revenge against the ****s who killed joey. When i do come out of the basement i'm wearing a welders mask and carrying tools. gm : Oh god, he's building the iron man suit. Actually, he's been making weapons to use against an enemy that has gate boxes, that won't destroy the gate boxes when used. gm : Why not use mustard gas? mcginty : Didn't think of that... Although the iron man suit is a good idea too. gm : Uh-oh... gm : Alright, if both if you roll 01, i'll let you invent power armour. agent rondale's player : *rolls* 01! 01! 01! gm : what?! What?! What?! agent rondale : Don't i get anything for that 01? gm : Tell you what, once physics discovers nuclear fusion i'll let you have an arc reactor, ok? agent rondale : *grins evilly* professor, you're an astrophysicist, aren't you? gm : Oh no.... a-w-e-s-o-m-e. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Much worse' date=' Massachusetts now has McGinty as Governor - not just a murderous and duplicitous scumbag, but mobster, arsonist, mad bomber, extortionist, and necromancer. Oh, and cradle-snatcher, since he's now free to marry that hot Gamwell librarian, to put the cap on all his new power, wealth, influence, and public acclaim. And then there's the new-look ONI where as many agents as possible are given anachronistic weapons and taught the basics of magical warfare, and raising the dead is just another name for Human Resources. The future is doomed....[/quote'] There just isn't enough rep to cover how amazing this is. And there won't be any from me until I rep some other folks first. Can someone get the good Doctor for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csyphrett Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... There just isn't enough rep to cover how amazing this is. And there won't be any from me until I rep some other folks first. Can someone get the good Doctor for me? Sure. I can do that. CES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Did he do the Christopher Walken dance as well while he was doing it? The what? There just isn't enough rep to cover how amazing this is. I'll be posting a pdf of The McGinty Files - complete with character sheet at the end as an appendix, once I find the time. I have a strong suspicion we've just found out where the American equivalent of the UK's Laundry - got started. And the Black Chamber IIRC, are some deeply scary people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The what? This, perhaps? I'll be posting a pdf of The McGinty Files - complete with character sheet at the end as an appendix' date=' once I find the time. I have a strong suspicion we've just found out where the American equivalent of the UK's Laundry - got started. And the Black Chamber IIRC, are some deeply scary people.[/quote'] Or the Attacked Mystification Police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This, perhaps? Got it in one. C'mon, folks, you had to know that as soon as the key phrase "weapon of choice" was mentioned that somebody was going to ask the Christopher Walken question. Or the Attacked Mystification Police. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... C'mon, folks, you had to know that as soon as the key phrase "weapon of choice" was mentioned that somebody was going to ask the Christopher Walken question. Ah. I thought it might be this video, but didn't know the name of it. Or the Attacked Mystification Police. Actually, not likely - all the women who actually know what McGinty is like emigrated to New Zealand the moment they heard he won the election. Doesn't leave many to fight Lucifer Hawks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laundry Knight Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... As my real name is Rondale. I'm kind of interested in the character of the same name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric Samm the Compensating, Human Fighter Darrek the Redundant, Dwarf Fighter Lucius the Pyro/Cyromaniac, Tiefling Elementalist Damacus the flighty, Tiefling Warlord This is actually 2 weeks worth. So... We encounter a monster that summons demons, then throws the demons, and then the demons explode! Samm: Kamikaze Demons! Goguin: Suicide Satans! Damacus: Baelzebub Bombers! Darrek may be feeling a little railroaded? Darrek: Do you want to continue? Turn to page 43. Theren listens at the door... Theren: It sounds like Elven, but it's not. Samm: The letters are Elven, but the language is that of Mordor. Goguin: We shouldn't do anything until we know more. Damacus: Lack of information has never stopped us before. Damacus gives Theren battle direction... Damacus: Put an arrow in his knee! Lucius: Or in his heel. Lucius kills a prisoner Lucius: Killing him was evil, splattering all of you with his brains was just entertainment. Lucius gets careless with his spells... Theren: You could have killed us! Lucius: And? I don't throw cotton balls. Samm: Cotton balls, fire balls, elemental magic is all the same to me. The giant spider attacks! GM: He uses scuttling charge. Samm: He's going to sink himself? Samm is in trouble! He's taking acid damage, he's been slowed, he's next to a giant mushroom that's spewing poison spores, and surrounded by spiders... Darrak: Is this some 60's movie? Diplomacy is considered... Goguin: We don't want to attack them if they aren't enemies. Damacus: Well, if we attack them then they'll become our enemies, making the issue moot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... mcginty : I don't come out much. gm : That'll hurt your election chances. mcginty : Stuff the election, i'm still plotting revenge against the ****s who killed joey. When i do come out of the basement i'm wearing a welders mask and carrying tools. gm : Oh god, he's building the iron man suit. Actually, he's been making weapons to use against an enemy that has gate boxes, that won't destroy the gate boxes when used. gm : Why not use mustard gas? mcginty : Didn't think of that... Although the iron man suit is a good idea too. gm : Uh-oh... Rule 1 for players: never give the GM ideas. Rule 1 for GMs: never give the players ideas. Rule 1a. Especially if the players (not the characters) have insane amounts of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The rule at our table is, if a player gives the GM an idea, the GM cannot use it on that player's character first. After the first use, anything goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix240 Posted May 26, 2012 Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Who? You're asking a masked woman who she is," Marked asked at the Lord Aetheric. "Well, I suppose since you've given me your outlandish sobriquet in the crudest manner possible, perhaps I should show you some better theater. Pay attention, as I'll only do this once" She billowed her cloak open. "Main Stage! There once marched a modest maiden matched with a magnificent mind; mauled and misshapen by minions of mysterious malevolence. Despite their mainspring, these misguided malefactors made a mistake, and their mirage melted and moldered to make way for a manifestation of mayhem and martial malignancy—MEAN FOR MEAN!" As she spun, three daggers sped for the would-be lord of aether. "My mission…to maltreat malfunctioning minds…mark them for the miscreants they are…"She chuckled, but it didn't sound humorous. "More than likely, my monumental monologue has meandered too far for such moronic mentality as that mingled before me. You can just call me the Marked." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 26, 2012 Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The rule at our table is' date=' if a player gives the GM an idea, the GM cannot use it on that player's character first. After the first use, anything goes.[/quote'] Heh. Reminds me of the time some years back during the Vibora Bay/Stormguard campaign that Villainous Scum was running, and he'd asked for some ideas for new villains (he really should have known better than to ask for something like that...). I wound up giving him the idea for a team called the Outlaws, one of whose members was a villainess named Mojave Green (after the rattlesnake of the same name), who had snake-like powers: hinged fangs, the ability to inject a deadly toxin with her bite, and the ability to unhinge her jaw in the same way that a snake does. Well, when VS sprung the Outlaws on our group for the first time, the first one to be attacked by Mojave Green was Helix, the group's super-geneticist (and who was famous for his remark that "Teleois is a hack!"). The expression on the player's face when VS was describing Mojave Green's attack -- mouth open impossibly wide, with huge, venom-dripping fangs coming right at him -- was absolutely priceless. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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