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What Have You Watched Recently?


Susano

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Expendables 3 - Wow what a let down. It should have hit all the right notes, but I just didn't buy it. Mel Gibson acting crazy was the only thing that saved it from being a complete bomb. Oh and the action sequences that looked a lot like the last two. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy explosions, gunfire and well choreographed martial arts fights as much as the next action flick fan. It was just too predictable, with the initial encounters for the new team members presaging everything that happened later.

 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - Good movie. Occurs to me that the titles between this one and the last should have been switched. I liked it better than the last one, as it had bad guys on both sides. The first one just seemed to seethe with "humans are garbage and are gonna get their comeuppance."  I mean,  I agree with all that but I like my movies to not state my worldview quite so loudly.

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Yurikuma Arashi would normally be one of the weirdest things you ever see in a year. But it wsn't even the weirdest thing I saw last night. Which is when I went to a monthly anime meetup of relatively mature people.

 

The title translates as "Lily Bear Storm". Seems harmless enough, until you remember that "yuri" in Japan is a common cultural reference to lesbianism. In fact, comics about lesbians and lesbian sex are generally referred to as "yuri" -- the equivalent for stories and comics about gay men or boys is "yaoi". So if you know something about Japanese popular culture you have an idea what you are probably in for,

 

Except you probably really don't.

 

Yurikuma Arashi is set a few years after a planet explosion somehow unleashed a plague of small, cute girl-eating bears onto the world. So a massive wall was built to separate them from the humans -- only it isn't really working out all that well. Did I mention that the bears are sapient and can take human form at will?

 

So we have this large high school on the human side of the wall where the entire student body consists of lesbians (and the only teacher we see is also lesbian) -- we know this because every time a character is introduced a handy nameplate displays her name, role and sexual orientation. There are also bears there, disguised as girls, and their goal in life is to eat as many of the students as they can. And, yes, the bears are lesbian too. It should surprise nobody that there are apparently only two males in the entire cast, whose role in the story is utterly inexplicable.

 

We're not talking subtext here. They flew well past subtext in the initial pitch meeting. This is not really a show for mature audiences as much as it is a show for fanboys who get a kick out of watching something their parents would loudly condemn.

 

But then they screened Kantai Collection: KanColle, which is in its own way even weirder. It's a series about cute girls who happen to be the Imperial Japanese Navy from World War Two.

 

No, really. The girls are all Japanese warships, and they are engaged in an ongoing battle with an "Abyssal" fleet of ship-women who might or might not represent the Americans (depending, I suppose, on who you ask). The series centers around a squadron of destroyers, who skate across the ocean blasting the enemy with torpedoes and guns they wear on their arms and legs, but there are also cruisers, battleships, and aircraft carriers who unleash air assaults through archery.

 

OK, I thought. It can't get much weirder than Kantai Collection: KanColle.

 

That's when they decided to show Cute High Earth Defense Club Love! and my brain finally broke.

 

Cute High Earth Defense Club Love! is a typical Sailor Moon-style magical girl show, complete with the ditzy leader, the weird mascot creature who gives the protagonists their powers like it or not, the semi-voyeuristic transformation sequences, the different bizarre monster that must be fought each week, the mysterious unknown adversary, and so forth.

 

Only they're guys.

 

I would leave the rest to your depraved imaginations, but I'm sure your depraved imaginations cannot come up with anything nearly as mind-blowingly psychedelic as what actually ends up on the screen. Needless to say when your homeroom teacher walks into class with a large pink talking wombat under his arm, you should not expect a normal day of secondary education.

 

But not everything I saw last night was that bizarre. The one show from the new season I would recommend most wholeheartedly is Death Parade. It starts out when a couple finds themselves in a strange bar being told they must play a game for their lives, which causes all their secrets to emerge brutally and painfully. Eventually they realize the truth -- they're already dead, and the point of the game is to decide which one will be saved and which damned. Once that is resolved, the real focus of the series can begin -- which is on the employees of the bar, from the laconic bartender to the effervescent manager showing the newest recruit the ropes. Their job is to sort out which souls are worthy of a second chance and which are not. But there is a lingering suspicion that they occasionally get it wrong.

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Finished out the last season of Walking Dead. According to the Talking Dead, I'm supposed to be shocked at (Spoiler). I was neither shocked nor dismayed. I rather expected the ending and nobody even spoiled it for me.

 

Finished out the last season of Haven (I've been pretty sick the last couple of days. Vegging out on the couch seemed like good medicine.). I'm losing faith in the show. Could be the flu making me cranky but the more exposition and uncovered secrets, the more bland the show becomes.

 

Caught up on Agent Carter. I love the mild cliffhanger ending from this most recent episode.

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Life Story. Animals at birth, growing up, finding a home, having offspring etc. Narrated by David Attenbrough.

Wonderful. Although I would not want to be a Barnacle Goose chick.

 

The great thing is they always find something to astound you in nature such as the Barnacle Goose jump or the Puffer Fish in Japan and how it attracts a mate by making a circle pattern on the bottom of a bay.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Watched John Wick. Retired hitman is brought back into action when thugs kill his dog. One scene with Kevin Nash as a bouncer is basically

"Looking good, Francis. Lost weight?"

"Yeah. Sixty pounds."

"Impressive. Looks good on you."

"Are you working tonight?

"yeah. Is there going to be a problem?"

"Nah. Have a good night John."

Francis pulls out his ear wig and walks away

 

Watched Planes about a global air race in the setting of Cars. It was okay. Dane Cook was not really convincing as a cropduster who wanted to rally race.

 

NCIS season 10 with the death of Eli David and the hunt for his killer. The one thing that struck me was Tom Morrow had to admit that the CIA killed David's counterpart for Iran to stir things up in the middle east. I was like idiots.

CES   

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Night and Fog by Alan Renais. 10 years after the war this documentary about the Holocaust comes out with a visit to the deserted Auschwitz. Some of the black and white images I had not seen before and are really disturbing. Along with Shoah I would say essential viewing as a primer on what was done in the death camps.

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Spiral season 1. This is a French policier. It shows how the judiciary works in France which is radically different to what we have in Britain or what is shown of America.

A woman has been found in a skip and her body is disfigured. The police investigation slowly turns up something nasty.

Each episode also has a seperate crime that is looked at either by the police or the judicary. Entertaining.

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Brotherhood of the Blades. Imperial assassins bring in or kill criminals for the Emperor. What happens when three are picked to bring in a high criminal leads to a tragic end for all involved.

 

Brick mansions. Detroit has walled in a district to keep the crime down. Then the mayor decides he needs the land more than the people.

 

Second Disc Monster versus ALiens the series. Not as funny as the movie, but still some good bits

CES 

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Spiral season 1. This is a French policier. It shows how the judiciary works in France which is radically different to what we have in Britain or what is shown of America.

A woman has been found in a skip and her body is disfigured. The police investigation slowly turns up something nasty.

Each episode also has a seperate crime that is looked at either by the police or the judicary. Entertaining.

 

This one? It is a great series; I've watched the first 4 seasons. And yes, the French judiciary system is different, since it's mostly based on the Napoleonic Code. I find the idea of investigating magistrates interesting. Italy used to have them as well.

 

Other French police shows worth checking out include Braquo and Blood on the Docks.

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Yeah that one. The woman defence lawyer is such a rotten person. And typically the French are bedhopping. But I like the two cop subordinates Gilou and Tintin.

 

 

I'm kind of disappointed that the French have fallen into the American media's trap of portraying defense attorneys as the scum of the earth whose sole function is to help the guilty get away with their crimes. Under the law a suspect or criminal defendant is considered innocent until guilt is proven "beyond a reasonable doubt", but fewer and fewer Americans seem to truly believe it. They rather choose to believe that if you can credibly accused you're guilty, even if you're not.

 

In the Law and Order franchise, the police routinely use extra-legal measures to nail suspects which defense attorneys routinely use to get evidence thrown out. Someone who does that consistently would theoretically not remain in the homicide division of a police department very long, nor would they be liked by prosecutors. If we don't respect the rights of people who deal with the police and the courts, we end up paying for it in the end -- especially if we routinely lock up genuinely innocent people for long periods (or even occasionally executing them, an increasingly common obscenity of which too many Americans actually seem to approve).

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Season 16 of Dr Who. That means the Ribos Operation, The Pirate Planet, The Stones of Blood, The Androids of Tara, The Power of Kroll and the Armageddon Factor. The whole search for The Key to Time. I had forgotten just how attractive Mary Tamm was in this. The Pirate Planet is the best of them as there is a lot of comedy but also a very serious point about what the plan behind the facade was doing. What is best about all the shows is the playing. Tom Baker is just marvellous and is served by some very good guest stars like Ian Cuthbertson in The Ribos Operation, Bruce Purchase in Pirate Planet, Peter Jeffrey in The Androids of Tara, Neil McCarthy and Philip Madoc in The Power of Kroll, and John Woodvine in the Armageddon Factor.

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