Cancer Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 4 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: These boots of speed are not functioning as prescribed. Q: OK, Mister Dwarven Meth Addict, what's your complaint about last week's dungeon l00tz? A: That's a novel interpretation of green dragons' acid breath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 2 hours ago, Cancer said: A: That's a novel interpretation of green dragons' acid breath. Q: Yeah, it's dangerous to collect, but it sure gives fish and chips a nice tang! A: This is why it's important to pillage before you burn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 20 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: Yeah, it's dangerous to collect, but it sure gives fish and chips a nice tang! A: This is why it's important to pillage before you burn. Q: Why did everyone return with this incinerated stuff? A: We have the dragon in our back pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 58 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: We have the dragon in our back pocket. Q: Anyone seen Lockheed? A: The moment I first took LSD, my life made sense. Then it wore off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 On 3/12/2022 at 10:29 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Anyone seen Lockheed? A: The moment I first took LSD, my life made sense. Then it wore off. Q: What is the main topic of your autobiography? A: This is the greatest moment of your career. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 4 hours ago, Asperion said: A: This is the greatest moment of your career. Q: I just wrote a multiple choice test where none of the correct answers were C. A: Popcorn and peach schnapps, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 56 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: Popcorn and peach schnapps, please. Q: When going to a cinema pub, what do you order for a German film? A: I don't care if he made some of the best films of the generation. He still has to pay the rent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 18 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: When going to a cinema pub, what do you order for a German film? A: I don't care if he made some of the best films of the generation. He still has to pay the rent. Q: Why was Hitchcock kicked out of hell? A: We decided to take the path less traveled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 19 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: We decided to take the path less traveled. Q: Saskatchewan? How in the world did you end up there? A: Movin' right along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 On 3/15/2022 at 9:24 AM, Pariah said: A: Movin' right along. Q: What do you think you're doing on that Segway, anyway? A: Perhaps that was not the best way to write an epic fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 On 3/17/2022 at 11:19 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What do you think you're doing on that Segway, anyway? A: Perhaps that was not the best way to write an epic fantasy. Q: What is this crazy story about Grilkins, Munkins, and other strange beings?? A: If by everyone you mean me, then the answer is yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 13 hours ago, Asperion said: A: If by everyone you mean me, then the answer is yes. Q: Why does it feel like everybody wants to take all my money? A: Keeping up my Secret Identity is costing me a fortune in airfare! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 14 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Keeping up my Secret Identity is costing me a fortune in airfare! Q: Wait, you Secret Identity is an Emirati oil tycoon? A: I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 7 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is. Q: You're Month-Old Pie Man? A: HELP I HAVE NO RED PENS AND I MUST FLUNK PEOPLE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 13 hours ago, Cancer said: Q: You're Month-Old Pie Man? A: HELP I HAVE NO RED PENS AND I MUST FLUNK PEOPLE Q: Why is there all this green ink all over my exam? A: Your carrier went over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 33 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: Your carrier went over there. Q: OK, I've landed in London, and have checked the airport carousel,, but where's my cat? A: I can't work up the courage to tell my dog she's adopted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 28, 2022 Report Share Posted March 28, 2022 On 3/23/2022 at 10:39 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: OK, I've landed in London, and have checked the airport carousel,, but where's my cat? A: I can't work up the courage to tell my dog she's adopted. Q: With all those cats around and only one dog, do you have anything that you want to say? A: I am constantly listening to the voices in my coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 2, 2022 Report Share Posted April 2, 2022 On 3/28/2022 at 7:59 AM, Asperion said: A: I am constantly listening to the voices in my coffee. Q: Why do you love your job at Starbucks so much? A: If I were you, I'd think twice about casting the ghost of Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle in your movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 On 4/1/2022 at 7:51 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why do you love your job at Starbucks so much? A: If I were you, I'd think twice about casting the ghost of Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle in your movie. Q: What makes you believe that we can get a successful ghost feature using this highly controversial figure? A: The solution is under your foot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 On 4/9/2022 at 8:54 AM, Asperion said: A: The solution is under your foot. Q: OK, where did my chemistry project go? I was just about to turn it in to be graded! A: I've got a bone to pick with you! Several, in fact! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 6 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I've got a bone to pick with you! Several, in fact! Q: What did the dragon say to the inexperienced knight? A: And that's why coffee is for grown-ups! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 22 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: What did the dragon say to the inexperienced knight? A: And that's why coffee is for grown-ups! Q: Did you see how little Barry shot around town? A: This came from our Mad Files. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 8 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: This came from our Mad Files. Q: You have a photograph of Marjorie Taylor Greene in a compromising position with ... Alfred E. Newman? A: YOU FOOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: YOU FOOL! Q: That Big Red Button ... Can I push it? Just a little? A: That's like being a little bit pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 On 4/15/2022 at 10:17 AM, Cancer said: Q: That Big Red Button ... Can I push it? Just a little? A: That's like being a little bit pregnant. Q: What is your response to these empty money bags? A: And that was when I casually said that I would like a dog's life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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