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1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: I am the immovable object against which your irresistible force is smashed!

 

Q: Hello, is this the customer service line for the Internal Revenue Service?

 

A: What is the square root of IDGAF? 

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17 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Just wait 'til Florida hears where Algebra and Double-Entry Bookkeeping came from!

 

Q: There is a bitter argument in Tallahassee about whether teaching differential equations belongs in the Crimes Against Nature bill or the Crimes Against Humanity bill.  Are you sure there'll be trouble about double jeopardy if they leave it in both?

 

A: Oddly, Lagrange's Identity tells you nothing about Lagrange.

 

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On 4/21/2022 at 11:19 AM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Who are those musicians with the incredibly long beards, and why are they buying houses here?

 

A: Actually, we're pretty lousy musicians.

 

Q: What makes this barbershop quartet so different from any other around?

 

A: When you said to fan it,  I didn't realize that this was what you had in mind. 

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On 4/23/2022 at 9:00 AM, Asperion said:

A: When you said to fan it,  I didn't realize that this was what you had in mind. 

Q: Where do you want the cheerleaders to go?

 

A: Mi interŝanĝis tricent lingvojn, nur kelkaj homoj parolas kontraŭ unu lingvo, kiun neniu parolas!

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On 4/24/2022 at 11:27 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Mi interŝanĝis tricent lingvojn, nur kelkaj homoj parolas kontraŭ unu lingvo, kiun neniu parolas!

 

Q: <output of random gesture simulation vaguely reminiscent of some sort of sign language>?

 

A: Yeah, well, ... so's your mother!

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16 hours ago, Cancer said:

A: Yeah, well, ... so's your mother!

 

Q - What did you say to King Oedipus to earn a death sentence?

 

A - A chicken with the face of a monkey.

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15 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: What is that -- a monkey with the body of a chicken?

 

A: Why are you upset that I "ruined a perfectly good pony" for you?

 

Q: Why do I get this feeling that you don't like my pony stew?

 

A: This is supposed to be the way to our destination. 

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On 4/30/2022 at 9:17 AM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Well, here we are in Albuquerque. Why do you want to turn left?

 

A: What a way for a Duke to travel — underground!

Q: My Lord wants to visit all the best places of his planet yet stay undetectable.  How else would we be able to provide this request?

 

A: That planet actually hides a black hole. 

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5 hours ago, Asperion said:

Q: My Lord wants to visit all the best places of his planet yet stay undetectable.  How else would we be able to provide this request?

 

A: That planet actually hides a black hole. 

Q: This looks like more of a job for Doctor Who and less for Jean-kuc Picard, don't you think?

 

A: Didn't you read the sign that said "NO Magical Tacnukes past this point? I'm gonna have to see your License,

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/3/2022 at 3:16 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: This looks like more of a job for Doctor Who and less for Jean-kuc Picard, don't you think?

 

A: Didn't you read the sign that said "NO Magical Tacnukes past this point? I'm gonna have to see your License,

 

Q: I am the Lord High Magistar, giver of rules and decrees. Who dares to challenge my great authority?

 

A: That is one to never see again. 

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6 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: That is not one of the preferred uses for a Roomba.

 

Q: I've programmed it with a Monte Carlo algorithm to simulate Brownian motion!

 

A: That's not my leg.

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22 hours ago, Pariah said:

 

Q: I've programmed it with a Monte Carlo algorithm to simulate Brownian motion!

 

A: That's not my leg.

 

Q: What did the Terminator say to the Predator in that mutual death?

 

A: This is my Terminator.  Get your own. 

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13 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: This is my Terminator.  Get your own. 

Q: And why do you insist I leave Slade out of Teen Titans Go!?

 

A: So you want me to choose between working for the Billionaire trying to kill James Bond, or working for the Billionaire trying to kill Superman. 

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10 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: So you want me to choose between working for the Billionaire trying to kill James Bond, or working for the Billionaire trying to kill Superman. 

 

Q: Well, supervillains are feeling the crunch of inflation just like everybody else. If you really want to work as a henchman, you pretty much have to take what's available.

 

A: I don't believe that man is actually from Nantucket.

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23 hours ago, Pariah said:

 

Q: Well, supervillains are feeling the crunch of inflation just like everybody else. If you really want to work as a henchman, you pretty much have to take what's available.

 

A: I don't believe that man is actually from Nantucket.

 

Q: Just because he's got a cockney accent,  you distrust his claim of origin?

 

A: Judge Dedd teaches the ABC's. 

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On 5/15/2022 at 6:14 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: When you were born in the Mega-City One prisons, how do you learn to write?

 

A: Are you kidding? The whole city is a prison!

 

Q: Why do the police seem to have such extreme power,  and why are there are there these walls everywhere?

 

A: Let us introduce the new President  - Dredd.

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4 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: Let us introduce the new President  - Dredd.

 

Q: The next President has to be better than the last few, right? Right?

 

A: Bigger than Elvis.

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