Klytus Posted September 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Nothing says security like a temporally-displaced chimpanzee who just drank a six-pack and took three acid hits. Q: Is it true your uncle just got a job as a night watchman? A: That was polite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 22, 2012 Report Share Posted September 22, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: That was polite! Q: Did you just say "Golly gee willikers"? A: It goes at the end of a question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: It goes at the end of a question. Q: Why did you end your question with a question mark? A: A set of balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 23, 2012 Report Share Posted September 23, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: A set of balls. Q: What do you need to buy before you go out to play golf? A: This looks like a job for an aardvark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: This looks like a job for an aardvark! Q: The town is being demolished by termites. How shall we be able to save it? A: Fortunately, I have no shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Fortunately' date=' I have no shame.[/quote'] Q: Aren't you embarrassed that your wife caught you making out with your secretary? A: Zuul...Zuul...Zuul Mother****er...Zuul... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Zuul...Zuul...Zuul Mother****er...Zuul... Q: There was this great wizard that created all the barriers. Now what was his name? A: On nights as dark and foggy as this, then drivers get together and tell the fell legend of the Were Taxi.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: On nights as dark and foggy as this' date=' then drivers get together and tell the fell legend of the Were Taxi....[/quote'] Q: And why exactly do you keep so much wolfs-bane in your truck? A: And it was at that point that it became obvious letting the duck and the rabbit go on living would be a mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: On nights as dark and foggy as this' date=' then drivers get together and tell the fell legend of the Were Taxi....[/quote'] Q: What kind of horror stories do the New York City homeless share around the barrel fires? Q: And why exactly do you keep so much wolfs-bane in your truck? Curses! Ninja'd... A: And it was at that point that it became obvious letting the duck and the rabbit go on living would be a mistake. Q: What was Elmer Fudd's most common lament after hunting season was over? A: One deaf, one dumb, and one growing old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: One deaf' date=' one dumb, and one growing old.[/quote'] Q: Describe the Seattle Mariners' starting rotation, after Felix Hernandez. (repeated, since it got ninja'd before) A: "Deranged" does not mean "melee combat only". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: "Deranged" does not mean "melee combat only". Q: Of course I'm putting away my guns... you said he was deranged, right? A: That's what she said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 27, 2012 Report Share Posted September 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's what she said. Q: "Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation!" -- isn't that like propositioning a transgendered individual from another phylum? A: Don't think about that. You'll sprain your hippocampus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Don't think about that. You'll sprain your hippocampus. Q: How many hippos could a hippopotamus potamus if a hippopotamus could potamus hippos? A: There is no longer any reason to doubt the hostile intent of this particular dragon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: There is no longer any reason to doubt the hostile intent of this particular dragon. Q - He burned the entire empire to the ground to get back at one knight? A - I honestly did not see that coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 29, 2012 Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - I honestly did not see that coming. Q: The invited Honey Boo Boo's mother to college? A: I'm Yogi Bear, and I approve this message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'm Yogi Bear' date=' and I approve this message.[/quote'] Q: Is that the note for the stolen picnic basket? A: Utter and complete boredom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Utter and complete boredom. Q: Describe the experience of watching a typical American sitcom. A: If shattering one kneecap is funny, shattering both kneecaps must be positively hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: If shattering one kneecap is funny' date=' shattering [i']both[/i] kneecaps must be positively hilarious! Q: What's TruTV's motto. A: Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted October 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors. Q: Why are the cats so angry? A: Smelting ore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Smelting ore. Q - What is atomic halitosis useful for? A - More dangerous than advertised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - More dangerous than advertised. Q: How are your UltraCute brand tiger cubs working out for you? A: Every year he makes a blunder, and I get another moose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Every year he makes a blunder' date=' and I get another moose.[/quote'] Q: I thought your dog was supposed to catch the rats out back? A: Imaginary numbers cannot save you here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted October 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Imaginary numbers cannot save you here. Q: Will you let me go, Dr. Destroyer, for a zillion dollars? A: More imaginary than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: More imaginary than that. Q: Imaginary pleasures? Like being 23 years old again, and locked in a luxury suite with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, with the air conditioning system venting out an aphrodisiac gas fourteen hours a day? A: Let me just distil that to just "no", then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 3, 2012 Report Share Posted October 3, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Let me just distil that to just "no"' date=' then.[/quote'] Q: You've spoken for twenty minutes straight on my proposal to reanimate dead tissue with government funding, and for the life of me I can't make out a word of it. Do you actually have an answer? A: At General Electric, we bring good things to life. And occasionally bad things too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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