Rails

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

From our last Saturday game:
 
An npc asks our hero team, "What kind of tea would you like?"
My hero makes a joke, "Do you have liver tea?"
Two other players simultaneously say, "Give me liver tea, or give me death!"
(groan)

I don’t see how this is a real complaint.  Young Charlize Theron doesn’t exist anymore. They can’t cast her.
 
 

I made a graph of all my past relationships; there's an "ex" axis and a and "why?" axis.

The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself...

Why do the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? 
 
So when they come back to port they can...Scandinavian. 

I've been in a hostage situation for over a decade.  It's called "marriage".

Delenn: This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw ! Or be destroyed.
EA Captain: Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship.
Delenn: Why not ? Only one human captain has survived a battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me, you are in front of me. If you value your lives be somewhere else.
 

"Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart! I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you will ever see. God sent me."

;'( 
 
i thought we were Friends? 
 
 

This is such a basic soft skill (socially) that my mind boggles at the notion while at the same time finding myself  teaching younger co-workers how to be professional in the office.
 
Gaming is just like having a work meeting and the same expectations apply: be on time, wear clean clothes, smell nice, put your phone on vibrate and leave it in your pocket, chat with the people who are in the room with you before and after the meeting. You make contacts and build teams and trust that way.
 
NO PHONES AT THE TABLE. FULL STOP.
 
Its discourteous and says "I'd rather be doing something else" than participate in your boring game. Call it out and don't budge. Its bad behavior stemming from dopamine addiction. If their kids or SO or work must be able to call them in event of emergency they can set a unique ring tone and leave it in their pocket forsaking all others. If they are there to play they owe every person at the table their undivided attention and active partcipation.

My favorite version of this happened on Babylon 5. A shady character told Mr. Garibaldi something like, "You and I have something in common." Garibaldi responded with, "We've both slept with your sister?"

Once when my younger sister was in high school, the family went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant.  For whatever reason, my sister was in quite a mood.  Halfway through the meal she stormed out, only to come back in and yell at us that we better bring her fortune cookie home.  Having brought her own car, she left.
 
When the fortune cookies arrived, one of them was slightly open so you could see the paper.  I pocketed in and took it to my parents' house.  I very carefully peeled open the plastic packaging, then slid the little strip of paper out and examined it.  Going to their computer and printer, I matched the font and the point size, printed out a fortune of my own, snipped the paper to fit, and carefully inserted it into the cookie.  The cookie went back in the plastic wrapper (though it was still open).
 
When my sister got home about an hour later, she stormed in and demanded her fortune cookie.  I pointed to the kitchen table, where a single cookie waited for her.  She grabbed it, ripped apart the plastic package, and opened her cookie.  Her eyes got wide and her jaw dropped open as she read the cryptic words.
 
"You need to quit being such a huge bitch to your family."

(on handing a colleague a congratulatory bottle of wine when I first saw her in the morning)
 
"This is not a suggestion for breakfast."

This loss is more tragic. Orville's girl security chief was infinitely cuter than TNG's.

"Ditz on a stick" does not begin to describe you, dearie.  When one ranks mentality on a scale from a low of "Dairy product" to a high of "Good", you're looking up at the string cheese.

The "Basic RCMP Officer Package Deal" is on page 49 of the 2007 edition (for Fifth Edition rules) of Champions of the North.  It has 45 points of abilities, perks, and skills with 35 points of disadvantages.  I no longer have the BBB--mine fell apart years ago--to compare this package deal with the Policeman deal from Fourth Edition.
 
The abilities are 'Observant:  +1 PER with Sight Group' and 'Foot Pursuit:  Running +1" (7" total)' for 2 points each, perks that include National Police Powers, a Weapons Permit, and 4 points' worth of Contacts.
 
The skills listed are related to general police work and Area/City Knowledges based on jurisdiction.
 
The disads are the Distinctive Feature of the uniform/badge, watched by the department he/she works for, and "Social Limitation:  Subject to Orders (Very Frequently, Major)".

...and how is that class going for you?
 
 
 

I am at a Jesuit university, so if anyone's gonna burn me, I figure it'll be an outfit with experience.