Pariah

"What are you eating?"
 
"I'm not eating, I'm chewing."
 
"Chewing what?"
 
"Gum. It's traditional. I had the replicator create me some."
 
"They just chewed it?"
 
"No, they infused the gum with flavor."
 
"What did you infuse it with?"
 
"Scotch."

Opening para of an opinion piece in the NYT today, written by a Christian member of the faculty at Duke Divinity School:

 
 
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/06/opinion/religious-exemptions-vaccine-mandates.html

Then you'll excuse me I am in the middle of fifteen things all of them annoying. Thank you for calling.
 
Good all Psi Corps. You guys amaze me. All the moral fibre of Jack the Ripper. What do you do in your spare time juggle babies over a fire pit ? Oops there goes another calculated risk.
 
And just one more thing on your trip back I 'd like you to take the time to learn the Babylon 5 mantra. Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And if this ever happens again Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out. Babylon control out.

One day, Albert Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
 
On the way there, he tells his driver, "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
 
The driver, who looks a bit like him agrees. "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
 
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
 
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
 
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
 
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says, "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

When life hands you melons, you should consider getting tested for dyslexia.

Well, that's good to know.
 
FSU and Notre Dame.  ND's punting.  FSU rusher hits the kicker firmly;  flag's thrown.  The question before the house is...5 yards running into, or 15 for roughing?  It was 4th and 9.
 
So ESPN bounces it to John Perry, their college rules expert.  He says...if it's the kick leg, it's 5 yards.  If it's the plant leg, it's 15.  That makes a lot of sense.  It was the kicking leg, so the punter gets spun around...but that's diffusing the impact.  When it's the plant leg, that's *seriously* dangerous;  severe knee or leg injuries are alllllll too possible.
 
I can't recall ever hearing that distinction before.
 
EDIT:  cool story in this game.  Remember McKensie Milton from UCF?  Led UCF to a couple excellent years in 2017 and 2018...finished quite respectably in the Heisman voting both years.  HORRIFIC!!!!! injury....from the Sporting News:

 
 
So the starting FSU QB had to come out for a play;  his helmet got knocked off.  Milton enters the game...his first play is a nice 18-20 yard completion.  He stays in...nothing discussed as to why, but concussion check is certainly plausible when a player loses his helmet.  Anyway, Milton quite briskly marches the Seminoles right down the field, bip, bang, boom, TOUCHDOWN.  To bring FSU to within 3.
 
Dr. Levy was at the game;  he said he had to see if it happened, because, as far as anyone knew...no one had ever come back from this.  

VERY cool.

Ring the bell, ‘cause school’s back in session!
 

 
All right kiddos, get out your Trapper Keepers and your No. 2 pencils and polish those apples, because it’s time for the September 2021 Superdraft: Back to School!
 
In this superdraft, you will select some school or academy environment and populate it with fictional characters in some kind of story. Hogwarts, Starfleet Academy, Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, Forks High School, whatever. Choose your school from fiction, or make up one of your own. Then choose characters to fill the following traditional school roles:
The School / Location: This is the first pick. Identify your school and its location. The Mentor: This is (usually) an adult that provides guidance for the students. It could be a headmaster, a teacher, a coach, a famous alumnus, or whatever. This role often serves as a surrogate parent for characters who, for whatever tragic reason, don’t have parents of their own. The Superstar: Sometimes known as The Jock, this character is one of the school’s most high-profile students and represents the school in some form of competition. Mundane teen movies often feature football players, basketball players, or cheerleaders in this role. More esoteric stories may feature chess players or stars in otherworldly sports like Quidditch.  The Popular Kid: Everyone knows this student. Everyone aspires to be as popular as this kid is ... or almost everyone, anyway. Loved, envied, or perhaps even despised by some, It matters little to them as long as everyone knows who they are. The Teacher’s Pet: This is the straight-A student that teachers (and some parents) wish their kids could be more like. Friendly, responsible, and never turning away from a challenge, this character is beloved of (most) teachers and often envied by peers. The Troublemaker: There’s one in every class, isn’t there? This student isn’t necessarily a bad person, they just have a bad attitude. They don’t like other people’s silly rules and they won’t jump through other people’s silly hoops to meet their silly expectations.  The Free Spirit: Every school seems to have those students who meander to the beat of their own drummer. They may come across as odd, spacey, or out-of-touch, but they generally have good hearts and are a good deal more aware of things than they appear to be. The Antagonist: Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. This is the Big Bad of the story. They may be another student, someone the school kicked out, or maybe even a teacher or other staff member. In any case, they have an axe to grind and they definitely don’t have the heroes’ best interests in mind. The Dragon: For every Big Bad with grandiose aspirations, there’s a trusted underling who does most of the actual work. This is The Dragon. It may be a small group of people instead of just one person, but the role is the same. Students will probably have more day-to-day contact with this character than with the Antagonist.  Options: There will be two Options slots available to fill in anything, characters or otherwise, not covered by the categories above.   
All the usual rules for drafting characters will apply:
Only fictional characters are allowed; no real people. (Fictional versions or expies of real people are allowed.) Once a character is drafted, all other versions of that same character are off the board (e.g., drafting Ant-Man Hank Pym removes all other versions of Hank Pym from consideration). Different characters using the same name may be drafted (e.g., Ant-Man Scott Lang could be drafted after Ant-Man Hank Pym has been drafted).  Draft one character to fill each role listed above. (Exception: The Dragon may be a small group.) The School / Location must be your first pick. After that, picks may be made in any order. Pictures and/or links to characters, especially characters that not everyone will immediately recognize, are very helpful.   
Due to Monday being a holiday in the States, we will begin drafting on Tuesday, September 7th at noon Eastern Daylight Time. (Check local listings to see what time that is where you live.) We will select one pick per day until Friday, September 17th. After allowing a few days for catching up and writing stories, I will post a poll on or around Friday, September 24th. The poll will close on Thursday, September 30th.
 
Any questions? Let me know. Otherwise, we’ll start the draft roughly 48 hours from now. 
 
So get a move on. You don’t want to be late for class!
 
 

He did, and they're called fingers.

Today's our 30th wedding anniversary.
 
I've already served breakfast in bed and done dishes.

Best wishes for a quick and uneventful stay.

Plushie Penguin

... Y'know, I think it may not be possible to concoct a scenario so absolutely congruent with a Darwin Award.

That's not a university, it's an academy.  A training school.

It's legalized warfare against other classes, starting with women. 😕

One o'clock in the morning,
People piling in through the door.
Drinks are still coming and I'm barely humming
And the audience is screaming for more.

Somebody's locked in the bathroom,
Manager can't find the key.
I'd pity that man but from where I stand,
It's looking like a prisoner is me.
 
So won't you kick it in now second wind
We got two more hours to go.
Losing any more hope of scoring any more coke,
And we've still got to do another show.

My mind started to wander,
In the middle of the second song
Dreaming I was at sea, just my baby and me
When the words started coming out wrong.
 
Waitresses are picking up glasses,
The bartender screamed last call.
When I looked to my right I saw a terrible sight
And the bass man took a bad fall.
 
So won't you kick it in now second wind
We got two more hours to go.
Losing any more hope of scoring any more coke,
And we've still got to do another show.
 
Three o'clock in the morning,
Running on adrenalin.
What I'm trying to say is that tomorrow's the day
And we've got to do it over again.
 
So won't you kick it in now second wind
We got two more hours to go.
Losing any more hope of scoring any more coke,
And we've still got to do another show.
We've got to do another show

Keep the fire burnin'
Let it keep us warm
The world will keep on turnin'
Let it turn you on

Let us not stop learnin'
We can help one another be strong
Let us never lose our yearnin'
To keep the fire burnin' all night long

You've been changing so much
I'm not sure you're in touch with what's real
You just come and you go
Never letting me know how you feel

And I'm livin' here in doubt
There's so much to talk about
I know that we can work it out

Keep the fire burnin'
Let it keep us warm
The world will keep on turnin'
Let it turn you on

Let us not stop learnin'
We can help one another be strong
Let us never lose our yearnin'
To keep the fire burnin' all night long

We've been through this enough
It gets rough but there's nowhere to run
This is where we belong
We are strong, we can never give up

If we wanted to we could
But we've always understood
To keep lookin' for the good

Magnus Cort Neilsen wins stage 19 of the Vuelta
 
Britain has reached its Paralympics medal target of between 100-140 medals with 111 in total

The gap between the best of FCS and the low end of FBS is pretty small.  Article points out, this is the 4th time in 10 years that EWU's done this.

And it won't be the second, it'd be the third.  UC Davis beat Tulsa.  It turns out, this is really not newsworthy...which surprises me a bunch, too.  But:

https://www.ncaa.com/news/football/article/fcs-wins-vs-fbs-teams-all-time-victories-upsets
 
Forget 2020;  the matchups barely happened and nothing was normal.  But 2019's 3 cases were the aberration;  there've generally been a LOT more every year, for the last decade.
 
I'd guess that the strong favorite would be at least one of those games will see the FCS school winning.

Mildly offensive.