SteveZilla Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Ok, you asked for it. I feel eel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes When you swim in creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes The Scuba divers version is this:- When an eel bites your eye, and you think you will die That's a Moray ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McCoy Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes I think the Spider Robinson version was: When you swim in the sea And an eel bites you knee That's a Moray! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Re: Jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Re: Jokes ...*Groan* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes During a recent password audit by a company,it was found that an employee was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes During a recent password audit by a company,it was found that an employee was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital." Joke would be funnier if you used these characters: NickFuryBlackWidowHawkeyeThorHulkIronManCaptainAmericavLoki@NewYork Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes Not really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes Not really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes During a recent password audit by a company,it was found that an employee was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital." That's actually a really secure password. 52 characters long? As long as she can remember it, no hacker will be able to break it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes That's actually a really secure password. 52 characters long? As long as she can remember it' date=' no hacker will be able to break it.[/quote'] But where's the numerals? The special characters? It's not secure at all unless you have to resort to 1337 to understand it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes I just saw a guy driving a tractor and shouting "THE END IS NIGH!" I think it was Farmer Geddon. I also think his tractor was magic. It turned into a field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Re: Jokes $5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. The good news was I had successfully found my way home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes But where's the numerals? The special characters? It's not secure at all unless you have to resort to 1337 to understand it! Actually teh bunneh is correct--it's getting to where even random strings of eight characters can be brute force cracked in a couple of weeks with modern desktop hardware, depending on the cipher. That's without using a hybrid attack. In theory you can reduce the cracking time of a 52-character passphrase using some dictionary techniques, but in practice 52 characters is going to be waaaay more secure than 8, even leaving out numerals and punctuation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeropoint Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes Actually teh bunneh is correct--it's getting to where even random strings of eight characters can be brute force cracked in a couple of weeks with modern desktop hardware, depending on the cipher. That's without using a hybrid attack. It's also without exploiting the fact that no one can remember a string of eight random characters, so the password is likely written down somewhere near the computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes It's also without exploiting the fact that no one can remember a string of eight random characters' date=' so the password is likely [i']written down[/i] somewhere near the computer. One advantage to living in the middle of nowhere is that no one is going to try to steal your passwords from your end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes A Hobbit walks into a bar... Boromir falls on the floor. Ouch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes That was an arrowing experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes It's also without exploiting the fact that no one can remember a string of eight random characters' date=' so the password is likely [i']written down[/i] somewhere near the computer. So the helpful technique I use to make long jumbled passwords is to take the first letter of each word from a phrase, poem, or song lyric. For instance, take: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them The password becomes: ORtrtaORtftORtbtaaitdbt To make it more secure, replace numbers in the phrase with the actual digit and an asterisk or some other special character to denote line breaks. Then we get: 1Rtrta1Rtft*1Rtbtaaitdbt Easy to remember but really hard to crack. Sorry if that is too much of a thread-derail, but if it helps anyone it is worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Re: Jokes That's actually a really secure password. 52 characters long? As long as she can remember it' date=' no hacker will be able to break it.[/quote'] Just don't go with "correct horse battery staple". It's been done. http://xkcd.com/936/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 15, 2012 Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Re: Jokes Jack is on his death bed, and he says to his wife, "Can you give me one last wish?" She says, "Anything you want." He says, "After I die, will you marry Larry?" She says, "But I thought you hated Larry." With his last breath, he says, "I do." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 15, 2012 Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Re: Jokes Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by asks what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. The men laughed. "Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.