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The Academics Thread


Pariah

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Our old friend Lord Mhoram responded to my post with this:

 

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Students, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I wouldn't list my extra credit rules in the syllabus, if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome at the last minute? I entered your final grades thirty-five minutes ago.

 

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I just sent out an announcement to all my classes that includes the image above and the following text:

 

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Esteemed students,

 

The end of the quarter rapidly approaches. Today is Monday, May 24th. 
The last day to turn in anything for 4th Quarter is Friday, May 28th by 11:59 p.m.
That's a little over four days from now.

 

Four. Days.

 

That deadline is firm. If you miss it, you're just out of luck.

  • If you try submitting something at 11:52 p.m. on Friday and your internet goes out, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.
  • If you submit something late Friday night in a format that I can't open, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.
  • If you submit something late Thursday night, I grade it on Friday, and you run out of time to resubmit it for a better score, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.
  • If you go out with your buddies Friday night and your/their car breaks down and you don't get back to your Chromebook until after midnight, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.
  • If you try to submit something on Friday night and you can't figure out how to get Canvas to accept it, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.
  • And so on.

 

Do not procrastinate. 

 

As of this writing, all grades for all classes are up to date in Canvas. (Gradebook may take an hour or three to catch up.) If there's anything in Canvas that you have a zero for, that means I don't have it.

 

You have four days to fix that.

 

Remember, ALL assignments must be submitted THROUGH CANVAS. Don't share things with me on Google. Don't e-mail me stuff. It has to come through Canvas. If you're having trouble with Canvas, let me know ASAP so that I can help you figure it out. If you fail to do so in a timely fashion, that's not my fault. You're out of luck.


Long story short: If I don't have it in Canvas before midnight, it doesn't exist and the reasons won't matter.

 

Choose wisely, my young friends.

 

 

Any bets on the number of angry/concerned e-mails I'll have tomorrow morning? I'm setting the over/under at 7.5. 

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The deadline just passed. Canvas tells me I have 98 assignments to grade.

 

There's a part of me that wants to do it all tomorrow and post the grades and just be done with it.

 

There's another part of me that wants to put it off for a couple of days just to watch the people who couldn't be bothered to submit things on time sweat.

 

Honestly, I'm not sure right now which part's going to win.

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Due to scheduling numbers and the fact that I'm picking up an online section of physics, next year I will not be teaching chemistry for the first time in my academic career.

 

It feels a little weird, I'm not going to lie.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I modeled a problem on the last assignment on the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko.  Changed numbers (like half-life, atomic weight, mass ingested, etc.) so it would not be so easy to google the answer, which is they way students try to do all their homework these days.

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2 hours ago, Cancer said:

I modeled a problem on the last assignment on the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko.  Changed numbers (like half-life, atomic weight, mass ingested, etc.) so it would not be so easy to google the answer, which is they way students try to do all their homework these days.


Are you testing students or interviewing minions?

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