Dear Abby,
I need your help. I had this problem with my neighbors. You see every year in early February they would pull me out in the early cold morning. They would force me to look for my shadow (which I never saw because they were all taking my picture, blinding me) and later one of them would hoist me in the air. All I wanted was to sleep but they wouldnt let me. Well the last time they did this my superpowers manifested and rage could not be held back any longer. I went berserk. I wiped them out. Now I cant seem to control myself. They finally kicked me out of town. Now I am thinking about being a supervillain. What should I do.
Phil, formerly of Punxsutawney, PA