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June 2023 Superdraft: Get Your Ship Together 


Pariah

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Nothing so cosmically threatening as that for us.  Instead, our ship has a very simple, rather mundane social function we would all admit would be a profoundly satisfying thing to have operating for the collective good.

 

Our cargo: A$$holes. 

 

Nostromo is one of squadron of interstellar barges for disposal of individuals who ... you just wish would go away.

 

Everyday incorrigible lifelong jerks are ferried to an isolated, slowly-rotating neutron star so that nothing particularly hazardous or interesting transpires when you drop several dozen kilograms of organic matter onto it.  Bit of a flash of gamma rays on impact of each parcel of society offal, and then something like a second goes by and every atom's electron cloud is squoze down into the nucleus, there's a burst of neutrinos, and then the newly minted cold nuclear matter is assimilated into the neutronium bulk of the dump point, all chemistry unmade down to the most fundamental possible level.  We leave it as an exercise for the student to work out what the experience of the dumpee is from the instant of jettison from the ship to impact on the degenerate surface.

 

Think of it as a garbage truck in a higher level of abstraction.

 

(And I promise not to go all political here.)

 

Option 1: (from the cargo manifest): The entire cast of Seinfeld.

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13 minutes ago, Logan D. Hurricanes said:

Even Joey??

 

Especially Joey. He's not the sharpest knife in the ... place where they keep the knives.

 

I've watched all 10 seasons of Friends, primarily because Lady P is a big fan. And I have to say, most of the characters are forgettable. Joey at least had street smarts and savvy in the beginning, but by the end of the series he was too stupid to live. Chandler was a shallow, annoying little prat that got little better. Rachel was completely self-absorbed and unsympathetic. Ross was basically every stupid TV stereotype of academics taken to 11. Monica started as merely quirky but became irrational to the point of unlikability. Strangely enough, the only main member of the cast with any sense at all—and any positive character development—ended up being Phoebe.

 

A pox on all of them.

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