OddHat Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER . . . Actually' date=' that tag was only present on the chainsaws manufactured for the US . . . [/quote'] Well there's nothing we can really do about Texas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER . . . Hey, what about Douglas Adams and the Tooth Pick Manual? I mean, are bussinesses in the US really that exposed to frivolous lawsuits? Or don't the courts recognise common sense? On a pack of peanuts: "May contain nuts." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER The chainsaw warning occurs, to the best of my knowledge, exclusively on Husqvarna chainsaws, and has never actually been spelled out. Rather, there is a large circle-with-a-slash-through-it type picture of someone trying to grab the bar (where the chain is) and another one where someone is pulling the saw through an up-cut and a person is on the other side of the log from him. You sort of have to draw your own conclusions about whether 'genitals' is intended, or even 'stopping' the saw. But it's certainly headed that way in the picture. I am inclined to think that many of the other 'real examples' in that particular e-mail (I think I've gotten it an even dozen times now) are equally exaggerated. And L. Marcus, yes, we get that many frivilous law suits here. It's not the courts fault per se; it is the predatory instincts of the lawyers and their ability to whip up the greed factor in the average American. So what if the only winner is the lawyer (who gets paid either way, just varying amounts). That's really all he was after anyway. Frankly, I think a lot of this would stop if stupidity hurt as much as it should. And on the subject of chainsaws, I really wish that my clipboard worked on this forum. I've got a doozy of a chainsaw story to share....... Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER I can believe that yes, there are a lot of lawsuits. And I believe everything Duke might say about users.... One of my previous jobs was support of custom email apps for an insurance company, among these being a set of tools to route emails (usually from adjusters or agents) into the databases-of-record for policyholders, which were on an entirely different platform. We were having reports of sporadic failures-to-store, so I was trying to track down specific instances so I had specific enough information to try debugging. At one point I found a time interval where counts looked discrepant, and for a long litany of lame-a** reasons I ended up having to do visual comparison of items in the DB of record to captured copies of emails on the email server. So I'm reading emails in two places, comparing timestamps and other header info as well as message text. One item completely derailed my train of thought and sent me outside to walk off the giggles. It said, "Insured does not use best judgment. Owing to back problems cannot open garage door, so uses front-end loader." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER . I mean, are bussinesses in the US really that exposed to frivolous lawsuits? Or don't the courts recognise common sense? yes. no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austenandrews Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Well there's nothing we can really do about Texas. Why, how do you Yankees stop your chainsaws? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Why' date=' how do you Yankees stop your chainsaws?[/quote'] By tossing it into the pile of Texans out back! AliceTheOwl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austenandrews Posted August 25, 2005 Report Share Posted August 25, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER By tossing it into the pile of Texans out back! Woo! High-five from the straight man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER By tossing it into the pile of Texans out back! Ho-YEAH! Nothing against Texans, but in context, that was funny as Hell! :rofl: Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Ho-YEAH! Nothing against Texans, but in context, that was funny as Hell! :rofl: Duke Heh. I just noticed the "new guy" found his way to the NGD. In the words of Ben Kenobi: "Watch yourself; this place can be a little rough." (i.e. primarily the politically- or religiously-oriented threads) But let me extend a "second welcome" to you "down here", Duke. (And Samwise, stop asking if "second welcome" has anything to do with "second breakfast"...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER heh heh heh heh--- for reasons best left unsaid in polite company, the only potential problem that can arise from my being in tough political or religious or even just flatulent company is my tendency to match force with force. No, not a threat-- it's ridiculous to even think that posturing at the little glowing box on my desk is any more impressive to strangers than it is to me, right? It is simply that I'm a farm boy, and I grew up with nine brothers and seven sisters. I've been know to reflexively push back 'too hard' and become offensive myself. And because of that, I try to take extra pains to be polite and clear, and I promise, I won't dawdle here too long! 8D And thanks for the Welcome, Doc! Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER I recall (when I was in a state university math department) hoping that none of our conservative legislators looked at the on-line course schedule and saw the department's offering with the abbreviated course title "COMPLEX ANAL". In the slow season for house-moving many years ago, I took a part-time job turning wrenches at TireClone; ("We're not who you think we are, but we'll take yer dough!"). The assistant manager was a fresh promotion, and was feeling all snugly about himself and the company. He went to the personal expense of printing up new cards for all the white shirts. They were all about the same: Jim X, Sales; Dana X, Gen Manager, etc. The abbreviations were critical, here. I still have (unless my wife finally tossed it) in my card file a copy of his card: Charlie Cason, *** Manager. And yes, I rudely used his entire name without his permission to tell an embarrasing story. He has it coming. Currently, he and his brother own a shop of their own: Cason's Amoco. It's here in Savannah. If I could remember the number, I'd give it to you. Call and ask for the *** Manager. (For the hard of thinking, *** looks a lot like A [shift 4] [shift 4]) Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER heh heh heh heh--- for reasons best left unsaid in polite company, the only potential problem that can arise from my being in tough political or religious or even just flatulent company is my tendency to match force with force. No, not a threat-- it's ridiculous to even think that posturing at the little glowing box on my desk is any more impressive to strangers than it is to me, right? It is simply that I'm a farm boy, and I grew up with nine brothers and seven sisters. I've been know to reflexively push back 'too hard' and become offensive myself. And because of that, I try to take extra pains to be polite and clear, and I promise, I won't dawdle here too long! 8D And thanks for the Welcome, Doc! Duke I think Dr. Anomaly is a farm boy by upbringing as well - Dr. A, is that correct? Dr. Anomaly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Great! If things get out of hand, we can just snatch bumpers and settle it! Yep; I knew I liked him for a damned good reason! Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Great! If things get out of hand, we can just snatch bumpers and settle it! Yep; I knew I liked him for a damned good reason! Duke Yep. That definitely means something other than what I think it does, because my interpretation is kind of homoerotic, and I don't think that's what you were going for, there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER I think Dr. Anomaly is a farm boy by upbringing as well - Dr. A' date=' is that correct?[/quote'] Good memory, Big Z...though unlike the Duke, I only had one sibling, a younger sister -- and that was enough! But as far as the "being polite" sort of thing that's often stereotypically associated with a rural upbringing...I've had my behavior in that fashion commented on several times by people in real life (often restaurant wait staff and similar working people). I guess it comes across less well over an electronic medium like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Not a stereotype; it's true as far as I've ever seen. Urban folk all seem to think that wanting to say something is the same as having something to say. Rural types know better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Despite having already posted this in the "funny pics" thread, I'm cross-posting this here for two very important reasons; first, it will bring this thread back to the first page and second, I know a lot of you here will really appreciate the frustration shown by the artist... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Yep. That definitely means something other than what I think it does' date=' because my interpretation is kind of homoerotic, and I don't think that's what you were going for, there.[/quote'] Dear Lady, I assure you that there is no homoeroticism here at all! I promise, there is a world of difference between snatching bumpers and bumping I'm going to quit now, 'kay? And Doc-- loved the cartoon, man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER I assure you that there is no homoeroticism here at all! I promise' date=' there is a world of difference between snatching bumpers and bumping I'm going to quit now, 'kay?[/quote'] Ah, okay. I should've warned you; I misplaced the crowbar for prying my mind out of the gutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Incredible New Study Proves... GALS WHO GO TOPLESS LIVE LONGER By Mark Miller AN EXCITING breakthrough in aging has just been discovered -- women who go topless live longer! "According to our research, women can add 10, 20, up to 30 years to their lives, depending on how frequently and for what duration of time they uncover their breasts," states Dr. Andrew Mansfield, director of BRIA -- the Breast Research Institute of America. "And the more they display them out in public, the longer they live." Dr. Mansfield's groundbreaking study, "Aging Dynamics of the Semi-Nude Contemporary Female," appears in the current issue of North American Journal of Clothing-Optional Metrics. "The results are frankly astounding," says Eleanor Zeitzer, founder of the International Institute of Aging Studies. "And as a result, we've amended our company's dress code to allow female employees to work topless. Almost all of them have taken advantage of this new freedom, and as an additional positive result, absenteeism of male employees is down to zero." High-school student Peter Strokemeir, 17, looks forward to the survey's results motivating more women to go topless. "I spend an average of two hours a day looking through my binoculars and telescope trying to catch women undressing in their apartment windows. "If more of them would start walking around with their gajoombas on display, I wouldn't have to spend all that time on research." Obviously in agreement with the study's findings is 109-year-old Jennie McDibble, a lifelong nudist. "I've never covered up my ta-tas," admits McDibble. "That would be like keeping 'em in prison. America's the land of the free -- so why shouldn't my fun bags be free, too!?" As to why the female life span becomes extended as a result of a woman's going topless, Dr. Mansfield has a theory: "The positive attention topless women get from men is psychologically such a lift that it affects various physical systems within the body positively as well -- not to mention that going topless often leads to sex, which we all know is life-enhancing in many ways." The survey also revealed advantages to going topless even beyond the benefits of longevity. According to 24-year-old Amy Rantelle, "Since I've started going topless in public more frequently, I've gotten tons of job offers, a great new boyfriend, free restaurant meals, invitations to appear in magazines and on TV -- for great pay, and I've gotten out of five speeding tickets! Plus, it's just plain fun watching people's reactions when they notice my melons on display!" Dr. Mansfield's next study will chart the longevity factors of men who go bottomless. "My wife offered to help with that survey." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER All that reminds me of is the tired old story about the "pencil test", and someone asking if they could have the job of administering the test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Anomaly Posted September 3, 2005 Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER All that reminds me of is the tired old story about the "pencil test"' date=' and someone asking if they could have the job of administering the test.[/quote'] Color me as "missing it", then, because that joke's not ringing a bell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Color me as "missing it"' date=' then, because that joke's not ringing a bell.[/quote'] Not a joke, just a test. If a breast is large enough, it holds a pencil. Some more than just a pencil. Sometimes an entire office set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: Longest Running Thread EVER Color me as "missing it"' date=' then, because that joke's not ringing a bell.[/quote'] It's along the lines of being a taste-tester at a nudie bar...... Which is, of course, great work, but the competition is fierce! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.