OddHat Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Sorry honey, can't talk right now. I'm having hot group sex with Chinese gymnasts. Could you call back later?" "Yes, dear, the shotgun is still in the locker. Gotta go; bye." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: The worst possible time to be completely honest. A: Honey...I'm pregnant. B: Sweety...I'm sterile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: The worst possible time to be completely honest. I got a really good accountant. He twisted the rules so I got a really good tax break. This won't mess up my audit, will it? NT: signs your children may not actually be yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted September 5, 2005 Report Share Posted September 5, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat I got a really good accountant. He twisted the rules so I got a really good tax break. This won't mess up my audit, will it? NT: signs your children may not actually be yours. "Honey, little Junior is bench-pressing the station wagon. Are you *sure* nothing odd happened on your little 'business retreat' to Metropolis?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat How did I have such intelligent, athletic, good looking, children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Darling, why doesn't the baby have a hat?" NT: Where you're going, you've always known it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Darling, why doesn't the baby have a hat?" NT: Where you're going, you've always known it. I must make my way, to right there! *points to a stretch of concrete three feet from him.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Darling, why doesn't the baby have a hat?" NT: Where you're going, you've always known it. INSANE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Where you're going' date=' you've always known it.[/quote'] To California, with an aching in my heart. NT: Signs that your mother and your high school English teacher have had their bodies accidentally switched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Mom, no amount of poetry will let you score with sixteen year old girls." "OK, so I was wrong." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard00 Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Signs that your mother and your high school English teacher have had their bodies accidentally switched. "Now, David, remember the words of Shakespeare when he said..." "Wait. Who?" "Shakespeare. You know, The Bard. Romeo and Juliet? Hamlet?" "Mom, you're from Alabama. You thought 'Hamlet' was a baby ham..." <<>> "Um, Mr. Wagner...did you get a perm?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Mom! What are you doing in Dad's nightshirt! *author's note, though he wasn't my enlish teacher, my stepdad did indeed teach english at one point. NT: Signs we are not alone in the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Mrs.OddHat is sitting right there, reading the boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Signs we are not alone in the universe. Weird electronic books showing up in book stores that are titled "DON'T Panic!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Signs we are not alone in the universe. You find correction marks on your term paper and there are ink stains on the paws of your dog. NT: Signs that your teacher wants to have "impro9proper relations" with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat You find correction marks on your term paper and there are ink stains on the paws of your dog. NT: Signs that your teacher wants to have "impro9proper relations" with you. She want's yo0u to stay after class to "bange the erasers" and your class is equiped with an overhead projector. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Signs that your teacher wants to have "impro9proper relations" with you. He's nude, erect, and singing Barry White's Greatest Hits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat You find correction marks on your term paper and there are ink stains on the paws of your dog. NT: Signs that your teacher wants to have "impro9proper relations" with you. She tells you that she wants a 69 on your paper. NT: The best spoonerism or word juxtaposition you've ever pulled. (This doesn't count as one of the 3, but I felt compelled to chime in. I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh, and tried to cast 'Mystical Face Tyspoon'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 7, 2005 Report Share Posted September 7, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: The best spoonerism or word juxtaposition you've ever pulled. We were doing The Music Man lo these many years ago, and it was rife with mixed verbiage. At one point the lead got lines so mixed up he sang "Sure as God made green trombones..." My favorite though was the tongue twisting opener in which the "Big brass bass" became a "Big bass brace." Fancying myself a cartoonist at the time I drew up a fish in a metal body brace to illustrate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: The best spoonerism or word juxtaposition you've ever pulled. I never remember my own ... I don't perceive them when they happen, and only if I am lucky will someone relate it to me after the fact. That rarely happens. The best such thing I've heard was the pseudo-word "orginasm" in a lecture by my (female) anthropology prof, in front of a lecture hall of about 300, back in my freshman year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat My best wasn't in English. This was in Tokyo, in 1998. I was at work, with a severe headache, a sore throat and a fever. I couldn't deal. So, I went up to my manager at the time, a beautiful 30-something Japanese woman who couldn't speak much English. In my best, most polite Japanese, I intended to say "I am very sorry, but I have a headache. Could you please allow me to go home?" Instead, I said "I am very sorry, but I have a headache. Could you please leave?" Well, it was funny at the time. NT: "Why are you wearing that?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Oh, this? It's just an old Skin I was saving for the Apothesis. But I forgot laundry day and... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: "Why are you wearing that?" "Because penguins are in right now. Could you get that for me? it's hard to pick up a phone with these fl;ippers on." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Because I really AM Batman! NT: Confessions of a proctologist... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat NT: Confessions of a proctologist... "Can you believe that my parents wanted me to be a concert pianist? They said anyone with such long fingers should really put them to good use. Unfortunately, I had no musical talent. So..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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