Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Basil]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The past two sessions of my Golden Age Champions game' date=' Captain Patriot has been a guest, and the PC flagsuit brick has been blowing EGO rolls right and left whenever he tries to be calm and rational about actually getting to talk with [i']Captain Patriot[/i], he's my idol ... well, you get the idea.

 

Finally, the player announced "One last try", rolled, and got a 16.

Player 2: I think your dice are in awe of Captain Patriot.

Original Player: (takes character sheet, writes "Psych Lim: Tongue-tied Around Captain Patriot, 0 points" on it, hands it to me)

Kudos to the player. Sometimes it's important to know when to just give up.

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A somewhat lackluster fantasy game last week, I'm afraid, but at least I got a few good quotes out of it:

 

GM: "There's a fire in the back of the Inn..."

Pyromaniac Fire Mage: [quickly] "I didn't do it!"

 

The same Pyromaniac Fire Mage attempts to reassure our new client:

[To Client] "We'll be the souls of discretion." [to other PCs] "You're not supposed to laugh when I say that!"

 

Human PC: "We need to put a foot up her shapely ***."

Lizardman PC: [sighs] "You humans and your weird sexual fetishes."

Human PC: "NO..."

 

Me: "I'm lower level than his Pool Boy. That's actually fairly depressing."

[James Gillen]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A somewhat lackluster fantasy game last week, I'm afraid, but at least I got a few good quotes out of it:

 

GM: "There's a fire in the back of the Inn..."

Pyromaniac Fire Mage: [quickly] "I didn't do it!"

 

Why does everybody suspect the Pyromaniac?

 

JG

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Why does everybody suspect the Pyromaniac?

 

JG

 

Because they're such a hot topic.

 

 

 

[Manic Typist]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Because they're such a hot topic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ewww! Cheesy emo-clothing stores?

[James Gillen]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ewww! Cheesy emo-clothing stores?

 

Hot Topic is not punk rock.

 

JG

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hot Topic is not punk rock.

 

JG

 

When it first opened it was Punk and Goth (heavy Goth leaning). Over the years it has migrated to Emo - the bastard child of Punk&Goth.

[James Gillen]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

When it first opened it was Punk and Goth (heavy Goth leaning). Over the years it has migrated to Emo - the bastard child of Punk&Goth.

 

Also, Hello Kitty lunchboxes are not punk rock.

 

JG

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Also, Hello Kitty lunchboxes are not punk rock.

 

JG

 

they are so damn punk rock my teeth hurt. Only a Punk would walk down the street with no sense of irony with one of those.

 

Actually - those are probably appealing to the LolitaGoth crew.

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

All these labels, such a shame...

 

Then again, what's so punk about any of it when its commercialized and homogenized like that? Tsk tsk, what's happened to today's rebels? Oh yes, they're regurgitating the same old stuff... *sigh*

 

And they call us t-shirt and jeans guys conformists... =) Though, if I had the money, I'd probably go for the modernist yakuza w/ a touch of the old west, myself. Mostly because I like black suits, cartridge belts, revolvers and well broken-in leather. I call it, tre' cool nerdo gear w/ a touch of stupid.

[Amused]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

All these labels, such a shame...

 

Then again, what's so punk about any of it when its commercialized and homogenized like that? Tsk tsk, what's happened to today's rebels? Oh yes, they're regurgitating the same old stuff... *sigh*

 

Personally I call it them Preppie, but that's just cause I got tired of all the "cool kids" at me school in the over priced black shirts and pants (I think only the rich kids can afford to be goth/punk/emo anymore). And have you ever noticed how all the goth pants with chains look exactly the same? That just makes me laugh.

 

blegh, I'll take my paint smattered blue jeans anyday.

[Amused]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A quote from a while back in a D&D game.

 

First keep in mind I was about ten at the time and a tend to watch more than speak.

 

After my character just came back from a halfling community.

Other PC: How was it?

My PC: Well the halfling I stayed with told me about an adventure he had with an evil ring, some dwarves, and a wizard.

*laughter*

 

I think it was more due to the fact that I had spoken.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A quote from a while back in a D&D game.

Thank you for returning to topic.

[Amused]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Thank you for returning to topic.

 

[DEFCON Clown]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"Does the nun have rPD?"

"No."

"F**K!"

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

All these labels, such a shame...

 

Then again, what's so punk about any of it when its commercialized and homogenized like that? Tsk tsk, what's happened to today's rebels? Oh yes, they're regurgitating the same old stuff... *sigh*

 

And they call us t-shirt and jeans guys conformists... =) Though, if I had the money, I'd probably go for the modernist yakuza w/ a touch of the old west, myself. Mostly because I like black suits, cartridge belts, revolvers and well broken-in leather. I call it, tre' cool nerdo gear w/ a touch of stupid.

 

"When Punk becomes in fashion the Punks will wear suits and ties" - Sid Vicious (paraphrased 'cuz I can't remember the exact quote).

 

Punk is in the head, not the clothes.

 

and with that ... er... I need a game quote don't I?

 

 

Faust: Fatal Input is running a special on hackers.

Ghost: What, are we selling them at half price?

[James Gillen]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"Does the nun have rPD?"

"No."

"F**K!"

 

"Whoops! There Go Three Nuns!"

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

*shrug* I don't like Punk music, so I guess I can't be punk. And I know a guy whose in that scene and he does wear a suite and tie. =) BTW, what the heck is "emo"? You kids these days... hehe.

 

Now, to stay on topic...

 

So we're playing this guy's custom game, which I vaguely understand, but pretty much only the GM does. It has pretty lethal critical effects, but overall its a modified D&D. I'm playing a big old warrior with a two-handed magical butt-kicking sword [Hackmaster +12? hehe]. There are two stories... but to give it some background, it was given to me by a very powerful wizard (big surprise) that I had an unfortunate incident with. Y'see, he had been cursed, apparently (I'm still sure the GM made this up on the fly to get back at me for the incident), to live forever as a little white rabbit. Now, our GM actually has a pathological irrational fear/hatred of rabbits. Well, we found this rabbit randomly, and it kept following us. I wanted to eat it for dinner, but the others had some random notion that he was special because he was so random. (I think we found him in a desk drawer) So I was kept from eating him. Unfortunately, the rabbit didn't take well to the idea (how he understood me, i don't know) and kept biting me and getting in my way. During one combat, I actually slipped and fell because of it (don't ask) and got quite irritated with it. So, I stuffed his little bunny self into a bag and proceeded to use the bag to try and bash down a wall. After letting the goo out, we went on. And then returned the rabbit a little while later. Thoroughly annoyed, I repeated the process with similar result... to only have it return. Another party member now kept the rabbit from me. We returned from our adventure and somehow (I can't remember) the rabbit was returned to his normal state.. that of a grand and powerful wizard, to my chagrine. So the rest of the party commenced to the butt-kissing, and I wandered away only to be summoned later. (sorry, I know this is getting long) Expecting my demise, I came a bit timidly and annoyed by the jeering of my fellows, who had spent many an hour smooching this guy's angry spider. At this time, he gave me a nice speech about helping him, told me he had forgiven me, and to show his gratitude he gave me the very nice enchanted sword. Now, finally, fast-forwarding past all the attempts to identify and assure it wasn't cursed...

 

I had grown quite fond of the enchanted sword, as it had helped me to smite many enemies. And thus story 1 begins...

 

The GM describes an eerie corridor through which we must pass to get to... something I can't remember. It has been a thoroughly boring dungeon, at a point where I hate dungeons. We come upon an undead knight who starts with the spooky speech of doom. "Thou shalt not pass, I am a knight doomed to protect these corridors from all who wish to pass, I..."

Me: "Did you say you were a knight? From what house are you?"

Doomed Knight: "I was once from house - "

Me interrupting: "I cut him in half and move down the corridor."

GM: "Oh, that's cold, you're not even going to let him finish his -"

Me interrupting: "I SAID, I CUT HIM IN HALF AND MOVE DOWN THE CORRIDOR." (I was being really arrogant)

GM: "Fine, you can attack him. So roll."

Thus follows a 100% percentile, followed by a 99%.

GM: "*sigh* You cut him in half..."

Me: "...and move down the corridor!"

And incredibly, we meet another... and the same parlay ensues...

GM: "No way you can do that again."

Me: "I cut him in half vertically this time. You'll regret it if you make me roll."

GM: "ROLL. You gonna die this time!"

Me: "I warned you... " *clatter* 99% *clatter* 97%

GM: "FINE! SKIP IT! You're at the end of the corridor already!"

...and there was much rejoicing.

 

And now I discover the sword's secret... it has been a fairly exciting adventure, and we find ourselves on a disc of rock floating down a river of magma, fighting for our lives against terrible monsters. The dice are not with me this time... I'm hurt bad, the others are doing okay, but I've taken the brunt thus far. I've just taken a crit, disabling one of my legs.

Me: "I roar my defiance and leap at the nearest enemy with the leg that still works!"

GM: "Okay, you're gonna take a penalty though."

Me: *clatter* "Crap! I rolled a freakin' 1%!"

GM: *Maniacal grin* "What did you say?"

Me: "I rolled a natural one." *sadness*

GM: *WIDER MANIACAL GRIN* "Okay, so you leap into the air towards your nearest enemy. Midleap, you notice that he seems to be getting bigger and bigger, especially his shield which you smash your face into, falling to the ground... as a wittle white wabbit."

Me: "WHAT?!"

And the irony is cruel, and loud with the jeering.... even that of our enemy, who promptly stomps on me. *SQUISH* *cry* ... only to reform, and live. *moan*

[Manic Typist]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

That is hilarious, and you've got to admit you got what you deserved on that one.

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

If you'd been at the sessions, maybe not... but still, probably. =)

 

Side benefit GM didn't foresee: slightly suicidal player with dice that fall all over the range, but somehow manages to go into regenerating bunny form most of the time when he's hurt, and occasionally when he's not.... which would result in another story, if I weren't in a hurry at the moment to get to my champions game. =)

[Hugh Neilson]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Side benefit GM didn't foresee: slightly suicidal player with dice that fall all over the range' date=' but somehow manages to go into regenerating bunny form most of the time when he's hurt, and occasionally when he's not.... which would result in another story, if I weren't in a hurry at the moment to get to my champions game. =)[/quote']

 

Suicidal...that reminds me of an old game (pre 3e, which is important as you read on...) where one of the players had a druid. The player would constantly say things like "I jump in the dragon's mouth" or "I jump off the cliff". The character had suicidal thoughts, but wasn't yet prepared to act on them.

 

At one point, we were bouncing across bizarre alternate planes of existence. Generally, curative spells varied in some bizarre way at each stop along the way. The Druid tried out a Cure Light Wounds as we arrived, rolling 7 points cured. "OK, the fighter's cured for 7, and the Druid loses 7 hit points".

 

A smile slowly spread over the player's face as he contemplated this (and added up the maximum he could roll on his remaining Cure spells...). He then began casting all his remaining curatives, and rolling quite well, until the party was virtually back in perfect fighting form - except the druid, of course. The DM had a "so what are you gonna do now" smile when the druid's player said...

 

"I change form to a mouse, then a lizard and finally a crow, then turn back to human form. I get 10-60% of my wounds healed on each shift."

 

THAT worked fine on all the alternate planes to date. He ended up down about 10 hit points...

[Manic Typist]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Wait, so, did it work, or did it completely devastate him?

[Hugh Neilson]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Wait' date=' so, did it work, or did it completely devastate him?[/quote']

 

Worked perfectly. That was about the only thing that had been stable throughout.

[James Gillen]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So in our (not exactly) final fight with the wizard from another dimension, our team KO's the wizard, but in the process screws up the spell he was using to open a gateway to modern Earth for his Orc Army to march through. This caused the portal to warp and move, and the NPC spellcaster he'd kidnapped as a focus got sucked in. Aaron's PC decided to jump in after her. Gary decided to follow. The GM told him to make a DEX Roll and he did. I decided to follow, and did not make the DEX Roll. My character is also a Golem who weighs about 400 kilos, and I was jumping from the top of a stone tower from 38" off the ground, and ended up doing 20 dice to myself, the Orcs marching in column below, and the ground, causing me to collapse the courtyard and drop into a cave.

 

The GM decided that because of this, I'd done enough structural damage to render the whole place unusable. When Aaron's PC found out about this, he said, "Way to go! You took out the castle with your face!"

 

JG

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Continuing with my amusing character who kept turning into a fuzzy white bunny... I must add, however, that the source of much of this was the fact that the game was incredibly boring for me most of the time as the other three players were only interested in two things: treasure, and killing things for their treasure. Well, I guess I could add shopping at magic stores, which is another pet peeve of mine... but I digress...

 

So we've made it into a laboratory where the most evil bad guy was hanging out and he begins his bad guy soliloquy, describing his nefarious plot (boring and obvious as we'd just hacked through most of it) and where he came from. So happens the villain is of the same race as me, so I interrupt him (which has been the norm thus far):

 

me: "I'm sorry, where did you say you were from? I missed it, I'm a bit hard of hearing."

Villain: "From [insert place]! It is a majestic -"

me: "[ooc]I throw my sword at him with all my strength."

GM: "What?!"

me: "I throw my sword at him. This hamhock ought to hurt. I did take proficiency in throwing this thing, y'know."

GM: *sigh* "I hate you. Roll. Major penalties for throwing that giant thing."

me: "Whatever." *clatter* 100% *clatter* 98%

GM: "NO WAY!" *clatter* *clatter* *checks charts* *hangs head* "Your sword catches him full in the chest, flinging him into the wall, sticking him into it."

me: *much rejoicing* "Stupid villains, always talk talk talk when they should just die die die. I'm glad they're so civilized, though."

 

But, not to be outdone, and being annoyed with my luck and my arrogance, his evil bodyguard arrives!

 

Me: "Oh c'mon, what good are bodyguards if they only show up after you're dead?"

GM: "Vengeance, my friend... vengeance."

Me: "Avenging you or avenging the bad guy?"

GM: "Yep."

 

And so battle ensues! Having very nice rolls and stupidly ridiculous stats due to those as well (which has never happened since) I get to go first! Hurrah!

Me: "Batter up!" *clatter* 2% "Crap."

GM: *maniacal laughter* "The guards eye the pile of armor and clothing that is where you used to be... and do a hat dance on it!"

Me: "Ouch."

GM: "Just feel lucky I don't have them suck you through a straw."

Much eeewwing.... and the battle continues. My compatriots, no slouches themselves, are doing all right but there are quite a few of them. The quivering pile of goo that is me slowly forms together again while the battle continues... eventually, I return to my whole self, albeit naked.

Me: "HAHA! Revenge shall be sweet! I charge!" *clatter* "Crap."

GM: "You're kidding... " *more maniacal laughter* "As you leap forward and transform midair, one of them turns around and cuts you in half.

Me: "Cripes, stupid random freakin' dice!... uh... I didn't just say that..."

And so that battle continued. If I remember right, I think I got one swing in, and it became a long fight. The dice had fallen the other way.

 

Honestly, that character, while extremely retarded, did have a lot of entertaining moments. I could probably go on about this for awhile... much stupidity epitomized that game, and not just a lot of criticals and fumbles either. My apologies if all these idiotic stories annoy, just let me know and I'll quit. Eventually, he did change his critical tables a bit.