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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My Monday night Rifts game has acquired a bizarre analogy:

 

Josie and the Pussycats. Yeah. That's right. Every single character in the game is analogous to a member of Josie and the Pussycats.

 

Rex, the Buff Dogboy: Rex is Alan. He gets along well with everyone, and Callie has a crush on him, sort of. Owns the group's APC.

 

Callie, AKA Lady Ileana Silvano, Knight of the White Rose: Callie is Josie. She's the 'nominal leader' as opposed to Rex, who appears to be the leader and owns the group's APC. Constantly using Bethesda Works to acquire TW items for the group, and takes nothing in exchange except the price of the item. If I were one of these other PC's, I would be suspicious of this character, but apparently not. What the (Bleep) does she want them to do when she calls those favors in?

 

Alexander, The Tattooed Man: Alexander is Alexandra. He constantly tries to get the group to go to Arzno or Ciudad Juarez and fight vampires, even though the group is about as specced for this as swimsuits in Antarctica.

 

Mindy, The Dragon Juicer: Mindy is Melody. Mindy is a bubble headed, Aberrant Evil Dragon Juicer who enjoys destruction, her chainsaw collection, and teasing Callie, who pretends to be a lapsed catholic in addition to an evil Mystic Knight. (Hey, it's the perfect fake religion. I do bad things, I confess them away, say my hail marys, and I'm fine again.)

 

Emerald, the Gurgoyle Psi-Warrior: Emerald is Valerie, the tech head, practical mechanic. She doesn't like BS, is genuinely nice to everyone, and comes up with decent plans.

 

Fang, the Dragon Wolf Mind Melter: Fang is Alexander. He's kind of bumbling, gets himself noticed at the wrong times, and likes to think he's sneakier than he is.

 

Neat, Sweet, a Groovy Song, everybody come along...

 

The worst part is, looking back at their adventures (A journey to Biggtown, a town of Brodkill, Black Winged Monster Men, etc, where they robbed a safe and gave a pre-rifts wedding dress to a Spider Demon, the infamous "Golden Toilet" adventure, which will live forever, saving a small town from "Doc Rebo" and his army of unwilling MOM implant converts (One of the C'ro Demon Mage's many evil schemes), and conning an Ogre into revealing his plan to murder a group of Bartenders in Kingsdale.)...yeah. They kinda are like Josie and the Pussycats, aren't they?

 

Well, this week, the PC's discovered that they were under surveillance. Through a complicated series of investigations, they discovered what bar their surveillance guy was hanging out at.

 

Two of the PC's opted for the "Feminine" approach. The KOTWR and the Dragon Juicer dressed up in hot outfits and figured they would lure him back to the APC for a little "action" and then interrogate him. Keep in mind, the KOTWR is dressed as a dominatrix the whole time, courtesy of the Dragon Juicer's pranky fashion sense.

 

Other PC's notice them doing this and stay hidden and then cluster around the APC.

 

Well, they got him in there and then the Dragon Juicer grabbed him. A nasty semi-seductive scene ensued where she held him, he kicked and struggled, and the KOTWR pointed a TW wood railgun at his knee and said "You won't be needing those when she's through with you, and I'm not taking my turn until she's done." (At this point, heavy metal boom-chicka-wow-wow type music starts blasting from the APC...)

 

Meanwhile, outside, the other characters are having an argument about what to do.

 

Emerald (Gurgoyle Psi-Warrior, PB 7): Can I go in there?

 

Rex: No! You don't want to see what's going on in there.

 

Alexander: It probably really is that bad.

 

Fang (Dragon Wolf Mind Melter): (Using mental powers to SEE what's going on in there.) It really IS that bad.

 

Emerald (Taking off her clothes...keep in mind, PB 7): Oh, come on, it'll be great!

 

Me: Rex, make a horror factor save. Now! I mean right now! A stripping Gurgoyle is just nasty.

 

Rex: (Making the save) Oh, GOD! Put it back on!

 

Emerald (Only putting on a thong): Is this good?

 

Fang: God, no!

 

Alexander: Noooooooooooo....

 

Rex: I guess now is good.

 

(At this point, Callie threatens the guy's knees with the wood railgun. Rex opens the door)

 

Emerald: (Stepping in wearing a thong) Hey guys, is my new toy ready yet?

 

Mindy and Callie make their horror factor saves. The poor shlub rolls a one, fails his insanity save and gains fear of Gurgoyles.

 

Mindy: Ohh, ick.

 

Callie: You guys have ruined EVERYTHING! I can't get laid EVER! EVER!

 

After that, the NPC totally spilled the beans. But it was funny as all get out.

 

Is this a Josie and the Pussycats story? You betcha!

 

"Neat, sweet, a groovy song, See a Gurgoyle in a thong..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the DC Earth Alpha Universe campaign

 

PC's are Wonder Woman, Power Girl, and the Flash

---------

 

Martian Manhunter has taken a leave of absence, and called in the Atom as his replacement.

 

Atom: Oh, and you must be Hawkgirl :)

 

Hawkgirl: *Looks sidelong at her wing* Obviously.

 

Wonder Woman: *whispers to Hawkgirl, making "feathers" with her hands by her ears* Its the hat ;)

 

----------------

 

GM: So theres a tourist taking a picture of the "scenic overlook" in Central City...

 

Flash (OOC): I zip in, throw a "peace sign", and zip out, so fast he wont realize what happened until one of his friends says "Hey! You got a picture of the Flash!" "No I didnt, I...hey!" :D

 

---------------

 

Wonder Woman *Deflecting blaster fire with her bracers*: You know, it didnt work the first two dozen times you shot at me...but I admire your determination!

 

------------

 

Power Girl (OOC): Starro is still "flat tentacled", right?

 

-------------

 

Power Girl's costume gets shredded in front by a grabby pair of Starro Probes, and in back by blaster fire. Some "drones" (people with Starro Probes on their faces, controlling their minds) shoot at the Flash, making him have to duck.

 

Flash: Hey! Dude! I was having a FANTASY here! :tsk:

 

----------------

 

Starro blasts Power Girl, who resists the blast with minimal damage, but it shreds her tattered costume clean off of her

 

Flash: Wow...I love her...I want to marry her...Im....saying all this out loud...but at least shes over there...where she cant hear me...except that she has super-hearing...and Im still talking. Why am I still talking?!?

 

---------------

 

Flash attacks Starro with a flurry of autofire punches and kicks, yelling his kiai's

 

Flash: Hai! Hai! Hai! Ho! Hai! Ow! Oww! Oww! Barnacles!

 

 

-------------------------

 

The Leaguers discover that Starros plan was to take over the planet, and have the inhabitants build a telepathic control amplifier relay, to let him take over other star systems

 

Flash: Huh...Ambitious little cephalopod!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Leaguers discover that Starros plan was to take over the planet, and have the inhabitants build a telepathic control amplifier relay, to let him take over other star systems

 

Flash: Huh...Ambitious little cephalopod!

 

Taxonomy FAIL :tsk: - apart from that, would rep, but...:D

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Bad day to be a bad guy.

 

what happened to Mafia Thug #1??

Russian Mafia Thug #1 took a shotgun blast to the vitals. He was wearing enough body armor to avoid taking Body damage, but he wasn't nearly as agile after that. Apparently it was hard for him to dodge bullets while clutching his crotch.

 

I suppose I could have included that segment in my narrative, but the only quote was "OW !!"

 

 

On an unrelated topic, I need to spread rep around before I can give more to...

Shadow Hawk

input.jack

Balbanto

Ian Mackinder

NestorDRod

ghost-angel

Drhoz

 

Either we need more funny people on this forum, or I need to start reading other threads on a regular basis.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My group was playing a fantasy merc game last friday. We were hired to "remove" a bunch of villagers' date=' the one that hired us didn't care if we killed them or scared them off or paid them to leave so long as they left. [/quote']

 

Reminds me of something our group was hired to do. The client gave us a mission much like this. However in a former adventure we had 'cleaned out' another client's competition and between that adventure and this no-one had purchased the 'house where an entire family disappeared overnight' (esp. a sane idea in a fantasy campaign where the likelihood is that it isn't superstitious nonsense). So our party simply pointed out to the 'down and outs' we were meant to deal with that there was a nice squat in an upscale part of town that no-one was using and they decided to move there (it didn't hurt that we told them point blank that the other option was to 'disappear mysteriously and permenantly'). Funnily enough another 'contract' required us to 'remove' a target who happened to be staying in the same inn we had used to case the original 'competition' so we just moved in with the down and outs and used the squat to watch the room we had originally watched the present squat from. It was kind of eerie.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Avenging Arrow's Urban Fantasy game.

 

The game is about a private organisation created to remove supernatural threats that have invaded earth from other worlds/dimensions.

 

Best without context.

 

Stephen. (NPC and one of the party's superiors). "Ummm ... ok. A fuzzy spot in reality could be bad."

 

And one from a while back.

 

Greg. (A hardened ex-mercenary type with various military skills and a talent for ruthless interrogation). 'Having told the others that he's going to get gas for the oven' "Let's see... I'll take two of the small camp stove cannisters, a plumber's torch, and where do they keep the vice grip pliers..."

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Avenging Arrow's Urban Fantasy game.

 

The game is about a private organisation created to remove supernatural threats that have invaded earth from other worlds/dimensions.

 

Best without context.

 

Stephen. (NPC and one of the party's superiors). "Ummm ... ok. A fuzzy spot in reality could be bad."

 

And one from a while back.

 

Greg. (A hardened ex-mercenary type with various military skills and a talent for ruthless interrogation). 'Having told the others that he's going to get gas for the oven' "Let's see... I'll take two of the small camp stove cannisters, a plumber's torch, and where do they keep the vice grip pliers..."

 

 

 

Sounds like Greg's an alumnus of the Jack Bauer School of Getting Answers

the Painful Way (:eek:).

 

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Middle Earth D20:

=========================

 

My Barbarian-Ranger went up a level, and so I was deciding which class to pick,

and Gondor says I can't go up levels anymore as Barbarian cause while we were in Minas Tirith

I learned how to use flush toilets, and there's no going back.

 

=========================

 

My Barbarian (also me the player) forgot he was holding the party's holy water.

so we get in a huge fight and of course the last enemy thing left standing

is this undead brute, and its regenerating everything we slice it with.

 

Plus I'm raging.

 

So William the Rogue sneaks up behind me, pilfers the holy water out of my pack,

and tosses it to Gondor, who splashes down the beasty, and that allows my spear

to cut it now, and so it dies.

 

so now I come off rage, and am exhausted.

the whole party and the DM are yelling at me about how

much sooner that thing would have died if I had gotten out the

holy water at the beginning. would have saved a lot of spells and injuries.

 

all I said to the group was: "You know how I get when I'm fighting..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another Carlos / Ian interaction.

 

For purposes of the campaign, we've established that Carlos is/was married (investigating her murder is the McGuffin for the game). So the question of how he got hitched comes up:

 

Ian: "She's not a hooker is she?"

 

Carlos: "NO! She's an engineer. She works for the city."

 

Ian: "Sounds like something you'd have to have some smarts for."

 

Carlos: "It is. She's really smart."

 

Ian: "Really? Then how come she married you?"

 

Carlos: "There was a lot of rum involved, I recall that."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Discussing a new character, "Rapido", a speedster.

 

GM: Let me get this straight, you can run at Mach Two and you're nearsighted.

Gentleman Ghost: If he blinks, he'll miss it.

Rapido: What?

Gentleman Ghost: Tree.

Harry Dresden: I'd shout a warning, but since he's going faster than sound...

Dragon Slayer: Clothslined at Mach Two. Ouch.

Harry: That'll leave a mark.

Dragon Slayer: Yes, all over the pavement.

Rapido: Nobody move, I dropped a contact lens.

GG: Where at?

Rapido: Somewhere between here and Atlanta.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Discussing a new character, "Rapido", a speedster.

 

GM: Let me get this straight, you can run at Mach Two and you're nearsighted.

Gentleman Ghost: If he blinks, he'll miss it.

Rapido: What?

Gentleman Ghost: Tree.

Harry Dresden: I'd shout a warning, but since he's going faster than sound...

Dragon Slayer: Clothslined at Mach Two. Ouch.

Harry: That'll leave a mark.

Dragon Slayer: Yes, all over the pavement.

Rapido: Nobody move, I dropped a contact lens.

GG: Where at?

Rapido: Somewhere between here and Atlanta.

good night does HE have problems

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I only tried Paranoia once. I was unable to overcome my 'work with the party' date=' teamwork and cooperation are the keys to success, never backstab a PC' mindset.[/quote']

 

The absolute reason I HATE and DESPISE that game.

 

I actually lost 8 Clones before the game began...*

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Yes I can explain. maybe later if you guys are nice :)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I think done right Paranoia can be hilarious. I think part of the trick is to try and work away from PC conflict and concentrate on trying to survive in a world gone mad. I mean, with everything in Alpha Complex that's already out to get you, why bother with getting the PCs to off each other.

 

Although I do love the story about the elevator going dark right after the briefing.... :D

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Re: Bad day to be a bad guy.

 

Russian Mafia Thug #1 took a shotgun blast to the vitals. He was wearing enough body armor to avoid taking Body damage, but he wasn't nearly as agile after that. Apparently it was hard for him to dodge bullets while clutching his crotch.

 

I suppose I could have included that segment in my narrative, but the only quote was "OW !!"

 

 

On an unrelated topic, I need to spread rep around before I can give more to...

Shadow Hawk

Balbanto

input.jack

Ian Mackinder

NestorDRod

ghost-angel

Drhoz

 

Either we need more funny people on this forum, or I need to start reading other threads on a regular basis.

 

GOt

 

Balbanto

NestorDRod

for you

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Anotherskip- I'd love to hear that story..

 

Susano- I don't recall the elevator going dark story. Is it in this thread, or are you referencing something else?

 

Something else.

 

In the XP rulebook mention is made of the 6 troubleshooters getting into an elevator. It starts to move, stop, and then goes dark.

 

ZARK!!!

 

The lights come on and one of the troubleshooters lies dead on the floor. The other five look at each other, shrug, and walk out.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Call of Cthulhu, finally. My players have been looking forward to this eagerly. Perhaps too eagerly, since the first few minutes were a riff on "Kanga loves CoC", "I'm going into town tonight for CoC" and "Me love CoC longtime"

 

New PC, Blake Harrington, Private Eye - hired to find out why a Riverside landlord managed to get a house ridiculously cheap, and why he can't keep any tenants in it. The landlord neglects to mention that the previous tenants all fell victim to various freak knife accidents, mysterious illness, and insanity.

 

You know it's going to be a good night for GMing when you can reduce your players to nausea merely describing the domestic terrain.

 

There's a tureen of rice soup abandoned on the table. Looks like it's been there a few weeks. Certainly, it's difficult to differentiate between the rice and the maggots.

 

Most of the house is junk rooms or clearly abandoned in a hurry. One discovery that will make Lucy happy, when she eventually get involved, is a few bottles of cheap red plonk in the kitchen.

 

Blake Harrington, PI OOC :

"Cheap wine and a three day growth .... of mold, in the rice soup."

 

Me, GM :
... the bed is coming at you fast, some two feet off the floor.

Blake Harrington, PI :
I throw myself aside... "Frow him to the fwoor"

Me, GM :
It's not a real RPG session until someone quotes Monty Python

 

Lucy Smith OOC :
In Soviet Russia, bed goes to you.

 

Harrington continues to explore, alone. This is not going to end well, and I predict a scene like the following

 

GM, OOC :
When the rest of you finally arrive at the house, you find the floors inches deep in blood; and Harrington's head - floating in the tureen, with the soup.

 

As it was, I was close.

 

GM:
In the corner of the basement you unearth an ornate knife, blood thickly coated with rust.

Harrington's player :
Blood???

GM
: Sorry, blade.

Harrington's player :
He said blood, didn't he?

Rest of players :
*
nod
*

Harrington's player :
Dang GMs, messing with my mind....

GM :
*
shrug
* Freudian slip

 

He does, however, manage to escape alive, and has to explain to the doctors why he showed up with a death-grip on the knife in his own ribs, and a badly twisted ankle, and other assorted injuries.

 

At least that's my excuse to get the other new PC involved, Kanga's character Dr Terrence Elliot. Yes, Kanga is a big A Country Practice fan. However did you guess? At least the name is suitably Lovecraftian. "My god, Elliot - it was a photo from life!" Of course, Lucy is immediately intrigued - rich, doctor, and most importantly, single.... it doesn't hurt that Kanga's using a photo of a young Richard Chamberlain - Dr Kildare - as the character pic.

 

Probably best without context. Amazingly, it was said in innocence.

 

GM :
Lucy here is already wet.

 

At least I finally manage to get all the PCs together, as they meet over breakfast to conspire about the case.

 

Alexei Petrovich, OOC,
possibly slightly jealous about the attention Lucy is giving the doctor
: "I don't want to scramble her eggs, I want to fertilise them!"

Harrington's player :
*
wince
* Please, lift the tone!

GM
: You've never played with these people before, have you?

Harrington's player
: Just raise the bar!

GM
: *
points from Lucy to Alexei
* She raises his bar all the time.
:D

 

Alexei does the introductions , but it's been a long night for the character

 

Alexei Petrovich
: Luc... Luce... Loose.. no, that's her morals.

 

Alexei tells everybody the warning signs for Imminent Supernatural Death

 

Alexei Petrovich
: "If you suddenly smell something bad..."

Dr Elliot
: "Blame it on the dog."

 

Actually, Elliot's dog is useful - further advance warning for Imminent Supernatural Death

 

Dog
: *whimpers*

Dr Elliot, OOC
: "And that's Doggy-speak for 'Some poor sucker is about to die""

 

GM
,
describing the state of Sydney Delthorn by the time he finishes falling down the stairs
: There's this new artist from Europe, named Picasso...

 

Dr Elliot
runs through first aid
: "Can you hear me? What is your name? Are you awake? Where is your wallet?"

 

Sydney Delthorn , days later, OOC
: "The rest of them are still at the house. I'm in hospital, getting a sponge bath. So I'm happy."

 

I won't repeat my musing about Unitarian exorcisms, and whether biscuits would be involved.

 

It eventually ended with a frantic and desperate wrestling match with a hypnotic mummy, multiple shovels, Molotov cocktails, and stabbing the corpse repeatedly in the face. Eventually they dragged it out into the street and set it on fire. It certainly gave the new players a good idea of just how lethal, confused, and farcical Call of Cthulhu combat can be. But at least they bought the house at an even more ridiculously low price than the previous landlord did - he was never going to get his investment back once the history of kidnaps, murder, suicide, disease, cultists, and corpse abuse came to light.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

But at least they bought the house at an even more ridiculously low price than the previous landlord did - he was never going to get his investment back once the history of kidnaps' date=' murder, suicide, disease, cultists, and corpse abuse came to light.[/quote']

 

I dunno. If it was a present-day setting, you could just claim the place was a popular hang-out for some punk rock or heavy metal band (or maybe a TV evangelist?) - and all that stuff would seem pretty normal then.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Team, the "Dragons of Justice", the last session had...

Gentleman Ghost (GG)

Black Dragon (BD), a 8' tall brick

Blue Racer (BR), a speedster (Formerly Rapido)

Trickshot (TS), a weaponmaster

Thunder Child (TC), a 12 year old blaster

Dragon Slayer (DS), a martial artist

The Dwarf (TD), a 4' tall brick/martial artist/weaponmaster

 

Putting together clues from multiple sources, the team figures out that D.E.M.O.N. is planning to attack the Museum of Man to sieze "Mummy Dust" from the Egyption exhibit. After showing up at the musuem during working hours IN COSTUME and trying to stake it out, thus attracting a massive amount of attention...

 

BD: I don't see why everyone's staring at us.

GG: Sure, you can see eight foot tall black man with a three foot tall man anywhere in San Diego...

TD: Quick, Blue Racer, make a distraction, me, Thunder and Black Dragon will hide in the men's room.

BR: Right, because no one will get suspicious of a giant, a dwarf, and a twelve year old boy in tights hiding in the bathroom.

TS: Why does this sound like a porn movie plot?

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Guest Celt

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Middle-Earth campaign, set just before the fall of Arnor, Decipher's LotR system... We're part of a company of wardens that patrol the Weather Hills. The company is assaulting an orc fortress in Rhudaur where they've been raiding over the border. I'm playing Llewyllen Buck the token halfling, whose father 'volunteered' him for service to raise the position of hobbits in the kingdom.

 

The player of the Lore Master has not really comprehended what the limits of her magic casting ability are. She mistook Kindle Fire for a ranged attack like D&D's magic missile and is trying to burn a warg with it.

 

Her: I cast Kindle Fire on the warg.

GM: It's too far away, you have to be touching whatever you cast Kindle Fire on.

Me: Like a pinecone.

GM: Then you could throw whatever it is at the warg.

Me: Like a pinecone.

GM: That could light its fur on fire.

Me and GM: Like a pinecone.

Me: Maybe more than a thousand years from now Gandalf got the trick from her?

 

(For those not as nerdy about Tolkien as my GM and I, the pinecone reference is from The Hobbit when goblins and wargs chased Gandalf, Bilbo and the dwarves up some trees and Gandalf threw burning pinecones at the wargs. Everyone at the table is fairly Tolkien savvy and she lost geek points big last night for missing it.)

 

After the big battle is over the combat monster and I have both half a dozen arrows sticking out of us each. We're near death, and have just barely survived the fight. He leans up against the forge we used as our holding point and smiled. "That was fun!" I shook my head and said "I'm never going to understand Big Folk."

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