bubba smith Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Man of Steel' date=' Woman of Kleenex"[/quote'] or vice versa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Man of Steel' date=' Woman of Kleenex"[/quote'] Been there, done that... What? I read the original essay a while back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karmakaze Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I had a running gag with a super-heroine brick who'd gotten her powers from a graft of insect DNA. "I'm going to hold off on dating for a while until I'm sure one of the insect donors wasn't the kind that rips off the male's head, after." Because that could be really socially awkward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I had a running gag with a super-heroine brick who'd gotten her powers from a graft of insect DNA. "I'm going to hold off on dating for a while until I'm sure one of the insect donors wasn't the kind that rips off the male's head' date=' after." Because that could be really socially awkward.[/quote'] Very good, I love understated humor. It brings to mind the Don Dixon song about a girlfriend who was like a praying mantis, something like She had six strong legs and it frightened me She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me It wasn't a chart-topper but the humor value made it well worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend's gynaecologist has to use hydraulic equipment. Hopefully you can bench a couple tons yourself or else the sex life is going to be a little awkward. Like the post-coital scene in My Super Ex-Girlfriend... Uma: "Don't worry, I'll get you a new one." Luke: "A new bed, or a new penis?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorDRod Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Like the post-coital scene in My Super Ex-Girlfriend... Uma: "Don't worry, I'll get you a new one." Luke: "A new bed, or a new penis?" Thanks, bunneh. Just watched that the other day with my wife and I immediately recalled the scene when the topic came up, but I was too embarrassed to mention it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nexus Posted May 6, 2009 Report Share Posted May 6, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And one of the edited scenes in Hancock illustrates the problems that afflict bricks of the other gender. Edit: Look for a short story called "Facets of Solitude" for a much more gruesome examination of the topic from a female perspective with a very non four color resolution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Nexus, any idea who wrote that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjolnir74 Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Its been 2 months since I ran my Shadowrun game. Things were all crazy at my work for a while. However, the game will resume on Monday May 11th. The party is in Hong Kong on a seemingly simple courier mission. They have gotten themselves on the wrong side of the local triad, and a massive firefight erupts at the Kai Tak Airport. Kai Tak is an abandoned airport that hosts a large gray market bazaar. GM: There is only one triad member still breathing (although that's about all he's doing). Bender: I stomp on his head. (Bender's signature move) GM: Have you ever seen Gallagher live? Sr. Lico (OOC): Man, am I glad I wasn't in the front row! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Middle earth D20 had a break this week. played a wargame instead, Hordes of the Things. my Ent Army versus my buddy's Northmen. the battle was at a public gaming hall. many people stopped by to look at the unusual setup and odd armies. 8 or 9 of those people had to say somthing to my buddy: Why ain't you using flaming arrows on those Ents ? Where's your Greek fire? Bet you wish you had some fiery pitch? Don't you want to use flaming arrows on those Ents ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSAT Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Middle earth D20 had a break this week. played a wargame instead, Hordes of the Things. my Ent Army versus my buddy's Northmen. Due its Ents Northmen have Axes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Middle earth D20 had a break this week. played a wargame instead, Hordes of the Things. my Ent Army versus my buddy's Northmen. the battle was at a public gaming hall. many people stopped by to look at the unusual setup and odd armies. 8 or 9 of those people had to say somthing to my buddy: Why ain't you using flaming arrows on those Ents ? Where's your Greek fire? Bet you wish you had some fiery pitch? Don't you want to use flaming arrows on those Ents ? I hear HOTT is a blast, basically because you can use almost anything as your army! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Um...side note...posting in orange makes the words really hard to read and I think my eyes are bleeding... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... No Edge City this week. Instead, the Battlestar Galactica boardgame. As usual, it swiftly degenerates into depraved roleplaying and mutagenic levels of smut. Me playing Support tech Galen Tyrol, my wife Purrdence playing Starbuck, Weldun as Admiral Adama, Sundog as ex-terrorist Tom Zarek, Fireleaper as President Roslin, and Lee as Saul Tigh Purrdence : "I want to play Starbuck again - I must remain true to my lusts." Purrdence, on position of players and boardgame : You've got the longest arms Me: *long pause* sometimes you make this very easy Saul Tigh : "I'd better launch more Vipers... ****ing gift shop." Me : "Soylent Green is now available in BBQ flavour!" With the political power now completely in military hands (effectively Adama's, since Tigh happily admits he'll be spending all the Presidential allowance on booze ) former terrorist Tom Zarek forces a double dissolution election. It doesn't work. Me : "Vote early, vote often!" Tigh : "I've got to do something do I? Okay, open a bottle. And somebody find my wife. I'm still celebrating. Lapdance. LAPDANCE!" Things go badly. Tigh : "Dude, I'm president - morale is going to crash anyway." Starbuck : "We're having more elections than the Italians" Adama : "Ouch, true, but still Ouch" Re : Gaius Adama : "You have to admire somebody who can get off, just sitting in a chair." Saul Tigh: "It's the power of SCIENCE!" *group picturing Agatha Heterodyne as President, for some reason* Me : "Well, *she'd* come up with a Cylon detector. And a hangun that could take out Basestars." Purrdence *suspiciously*: Why are those three in that room for so long? Weldun : ARGHHhhhH! Now I'm picturing Adama, Roslin & Zarek together - and you just know there's slash-fic out there like that. It comes to be known as the 'Admin Love-in', and Colonial One 'The Love Boat'. It's later destruction cripples fleet morale. Zarek & Adama : "What happens on Colonial One, stays on Colonial One." Roslin is revealed as a Cylon Adama : I can't believe we just double-teamed a Cylon. Tyrol : I can't believe you didn't see her spine light up. Adama : I wasn't looking at her spine Tigh : I told you, you should have tossed her in the brig. Tyrol : Surely that would be anatomically impossible? Tigh : Mmm, Lucy Lawless... Purrdence : Seen Roadtrip? She plays a Dutch dominatrix Tigh : Rowrl! Zarek : "Somebody deal with the Raiders??" Tigh : "Yeah, I would... but I'm in the brig - ASS!" Purrdence : How far did we get to Kobol last time? Everybody : 6 Purrdence : Ah, good, we're doing better this time Everybody : No, we're at 4 Purrdence : And THAT'S why I'm not a maths teacher And we end up with President-Admiral Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. The one with the 'Never Put This Woman In A Position Of Authority' on her psych profile. Weldun : "So the President-Admiral gets into her fighter to go fight the.... This is like a bad American movie. Like Independence Day." Weldun : "Destiny has just done me with a chrome-studded strap-on." Everybody else is a Cylon or in the brig. Adama : "So, how do you think they're doing out there without us?" Tigh :" Fine, probably. But that's just the booze talking." Adama : "At least we're still breathing, so Life Support's up." And then I get President-Admiral Thrace sent to the brig too, leaving the entire chain of command compromised. Thrace tries to seduce her way out. 'Chief' Tyrol - a Cylon - is unimpressed. Tyrol : "Ah, all those fun hours in the hanger deck. And you never wondered why I was so into heavy machinery and lube" All the Cylons are on Caprica : "Whole cities are glowing red" Tyrol : I'm just enjoying the red light district. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinecone Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I hear HOTT is a blast' date=' basically because you can use almost [u']anything[/u] as your army! I once saw a Santa claus army....vs a Natzi's from the center of the earth army... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Only have a couple. Got some from Space Opera tonight, but that game uses a LOT of in-jokes that'd use too much time to explain. Instead, I'll give others that don't require much. Shadowrun: Runners have taken a run to rescue a young technomancer on a remote island sandwiched between hostile NAN territory and a facility of Aztechnology. To get there, they had to white-water raft. One section of the river had a while section of sharp rocks below very shallow water. Everyone makes their role to keep themselves from taking damage. All except Mina. Mina (ooc): "Geez, after that, am I still a virgin?" Me (GM): "Were you one in the first place?" Mina: *longish pause* "...No..." On getting backhanded by a fire elemental: Hank (ooc): "It's like being slapped with a hot pocket!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... [All of the Players have been given Star Marines to play in addition to their normal characters, as we storm a space-pirate base. The Player of Catwoman (and Wonder Woman) in the DCEAU game manages to have a standout among the crowd] ---------- Wonder Woman's Player's Star Marine: *Opens up with a BFG* Say Hello to my little friend! ------------ Same Star Marine: *One change of energy clips later* Dont run! Dont run! My friend Pepe wants to tell you something! ------------ [Another Player's Marines take down a group of baddies] Same Star Marine: Aw man! Quit hoggin' them all! ---------- Same Star Marine: *Sees a group of enemy soldiers sheltered inside a bunker* Hey man! Come on out! Ive got something I wanna show you! Enemies: *Dont come out* Star Marine: Ive got a letter here for you; could be important! Enemies: *Dont come out* Star Marine: Im selling these fine camoflage jackets! Enemy Soldier: *Pokes his head out* BLAM! Star Marine: See? If youd have had one of these fine camo jackets I would NEVER have seen you coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I love that Star Marine, but between DADT and the darn rules about spreading rep.... *sighs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulcan Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Star Marine: Im selling these fine camoflage jackets! Enemy Soldier: *Pokes his head out* BLAM! Star Marine: See? If youd have had one of these fine camo jackets I would NEVER have seen you coming! From another joke: "That you, Hans?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I love that Star Marine' date=' but between DADT and the darn rules about spreading rep.... *sighs*[/quote'] Got him for ya! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorDRod Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Y'know, the problem with a thread this long is that you start being afraid you're repeating yourself, mentioning old game quotes that you've already posted, but don't have the search-fu to track down to see if you have. In our group, we've had the tradition of the Winged Victory of Samothrace. For those who don't recognize the name, it's a statue, similar to the Venus De Milo in that it is missing some parts but is still considered a valuable work of art. The origin of the tradition harks back a an old D&D game, where a combat with orcs was dragging on way too long. Y'know, the old "I hit, he hits, I miss, he hits, I hit, he misses" routine. To try to break the monotony, the player declared, "I try to trick the orc by calling out, 'Look! Kohoutek!'" (And for those who don't recognize that reference, that's 'cause you're young. ). The GM rolled his eyes but decided to allow a saving throw, which the orc made. More senseless combat ensued. Desperate, the player tried again. "Look, it's the Winged Victory of Samothrace!" The GM goggled at that, but after some persuasion (aka whining), he rolled the saving throw again, which the orc disastrously failed. WHAM! Combat over. Years later, I told Susano that story, not realizing what I was unleashing. Sure enough, in a later game, his character, Mr. America, was laid low by an ambush from a VIPER agent. With his hero looking at the barrel of a VIPER blaster inches from his face, Susano looks to me and says, "Mr. America points to the sky behind the agent and calls out," (you guessed it) "'Look! It's the Winged Victory of Samothrace!'" Humoring him, I picked up my dice and rolled. An 18. The agent turns to look behind him with a "WTF?!?" Mr. America socks him for a godawful amount of damage, sending the gullible goon to his well-deserved oblivion. So now you know the power of The Winged Victory of Samothrace. Use it wisely and it may pull your hero from certain doom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In our group, we've had the tradition of the Winged Victory of Samothrace. For those who don't recognize the name, it's a statue, similar to the Venus De Milo in that it is missing some parts but is still considered a valuable work of art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netzilla Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From the second session of our Dark Champs Monster Hunters game "Go! Go! Ninja Ears!" "Got a ninja problem? Go to anti-ninja.com." "It's okay, child services will hold him for 10 days before they put him down." This last bit needs a bit of set-up. Mike, the half-angel, is investigating a state run orphanage on the suspicion that it might be haunted. He's confronted Tom, the janitor, who it turns out has a minor gift for second sight, allowing him to see Mike's angelic nature. Tom is also a True Believer and immediately falls to his knees fervently thanking God for answering his prayers and sending a protector for the children. Mike manages to calm Tom down enough to answer a few questions and it turns out that Tom can also sense the presence of the ghost. Mike: "Next time you feel the presence of this spirit, you must call upon me immediately. Do you have a cell phone?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorDRod Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Look! It's the..." Oh never mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The heroes have fallen into an underground river, and lost their light source. As they are wading toward shore in the pitch black, Gemini feels something brush against his leg. Gemini: [to Quinn, who is a notorious pickpocket] "That better not be your hand on my leg, Quinn!" GM: "It doesn't feel like a hand, more like a snake or a tentacle." Gemini: "That better not be any part of your body Quinn!" Quinn: "Hey, I'm flattered you think it might be, since I am standing waaay over here. In cold water yet." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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