Jump to content

Karate Kid vs Karate Kid


JmOz

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 80
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

There you are, showing your blatant Karate Kid bias. You blind fool!!!!!!!

Can't you see that Karate Kid would totally kick Karate Kid's butt?

 

Keith "!!!!!!!" Curtis

You're such a Karate Kid mark. You don't really believe this drivel, do you? Look, Karate Kid wins. It's simple. Even a KK homerr like you should be able to see that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Val wins, no question. Let's face it: A kid who can only barely win a regional tournament isn't going to last five seconds against someone who can take on a Kryptonian and win. Assuming a structured, tournament-styled scored match, Val will socre two points in two seconds. Possibly less than that. Daniel loses. Mr. Miagi finds new sensei.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Val wins' date=' no question. Let's face it: A kid who can only barely win a regional tournament isn't going to last five seconds against someone who can take on a Kryptonian and win. Assuming a structured, tournament-styled scored match, Val will socre two points in two seconds. Possibly less than that. Daniel loses. Mr. Miagi finds new sensei.[/quote']

Sorry, but I cant believe someone actually gave a serious answer :jawdrop:

 

Besides, it's obvious isnt it? Mr. Miyagi beats them all, because he's actually just the outer-shell for an evil Yoda-Batman-Wolverine-Spidey clone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Val wins' date=' no question. Let's face it: A kid who can only barely win a regional tournament isn't going to last five seconds against someone who can take on a Kryptonian and win. Assuming a structured, tournament-styled scored match, Val will socre two points in two seconds. Possibly less than that. Daniel loses. Mr. Miagi finds new sensei.[/quote']

 

i think you mean student, sensei is the teacher.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Uh.... well' date=' I really got to be going now...[/quote']

Ed Gruberman, you too shall be taught a lesson...Boot to the Head (swish-BAM!)

 

Seriously though, a Legion member versus Ralph freakin' Macchio? And not the one from Marvel Comics? Bye-bye, Daniel-san!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Uh.... well' date=' I really got to be going now...[/quote']

Master: "Approach Students, close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Ti Kwon Leap; but be warned be warned, to learn it's ways you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now, so."

 

Class: "ohm"

 

Student:"Uh...Sir *snap, snap* Oh OH! Sir!"

 

Master: "Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?"

 

Student: "Me...Ed Gruberman."

 

Master: "Ed -Gruberman."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Yeah, ah, no disrespect or nuthin' but how long is this going to take?"

 

Master: "Ti Kwan Leap is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever into the horizon- "

 

Ed Gruberman: "So Like what? An hour or so?"

 

Master: No..no..we have not even begun along the path - Ed Gruberman, you must learn patientce -"

 

Ed Gruberman: "Yeah yeah yeah, patience, how long does that take?"

 

Master: "Time has no meaning, to a true student, a year is as a day-"

 

Ed Gruberman: "A year?!? I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas! Hyah Hoo Ha Woo!"

 

Master: "Beat...people...up."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start thrashing bozos, that's all I came here for! Yo sha sta sha sta! Pretty good huh?"

 

Master: "The only use of Ti Kwan Leap is self defense! Do you know who said that? Ki Lo Knee, the great teacher."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Yeah? Well the best defense is a good offense. You know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice."

 

Master: "No, um, Ti Kwan Leap is the wine of purity not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate upon this truth with us."

 

Class: "Ohm."

 

Ed Gruberman: " Listen Shrimp! All this fag talk is starting to piss me off, now are you going to show me some fancy moves or am I gonna start wiping the walls with you?"

 

Master: "Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ti Kwon Leap, approach me that you might see."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Alright, finally some action."

 

Master: "Observe Closely Class. Boot to the head!"

 

Ed Gruberman: "OW! You booted me in the head!"

 

Master: "You are lucky Ed Gruberman, few novices experience so much of Ti Kwan Leap so soon."

 

Ed Gruberman: "owww..."

 

Master: "Now we continue."

 

Class: "Ohm."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Hey! Hey I wasn't ready! Come and get me now shorty! Huh? C'mon are you chicken?"

 

Master: "Boot to the head."

 

Ed Gruberman: "OWWW! Okay n-now I am ready, okay now try it now."

 

Master: "Boot to the head."

 

Ed Gruberman: "Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?

 

Master: "Now class, we shall return to our -"

 

Student 2: "Master?"

 

Master: "It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge, student."

 

Student 2: "Many Apologies Master, but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong."

 

Ed Gruberman: *moan*

 

Master: "What do you mean?"

 

Student:"I want to boot some head too."

 

Master: "Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?"

 

Student 2: "Yes Master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent."

 

Master: "Very good."

 

Student 2: "And secondly- Get in the first shot. Boot to the head!"

 

Master: "You missed."

 

Student 2: "Uh yeah, well..."

 

Master: "You too shall be honored to learn a lesson about this...

Student 2: (Simultaneously) "You know I could l- you don't have to you know, I gotta be go-"

Master: "Boot to the head."

Student 2: "Heowoowowowo!"

 

Master: "Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?"

 

Student 3: "Ah yes Master, not a single one of us could defeat you."

 

Master: "You gain wisdom child..."

 

 

Student 3: "So we'll have to gang up on you - GET HIM GUYS!"

 

Master: "Boot to the head. Boot. Heh Heh He.!!!!'

 

Sound of students getting their asses handed to them...

Class: *Moans*

 

Master: "And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ohm"

 

Class: "Ohm"

 

Master: "Very Good Class"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...

Re: Karate Kid vs Karate Kid

 

Chuck Norris wins.:king:

 

Originally, Val Armor was a kid from the valley, named Daniel-san. After years of martial arts training, he made the mistake of thinking he could mess with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris kicked him so hard that he ended up in the the 31st century where he changed his name out of shame. That is the little known true origin of the Karate Kid.

 

I had to retcon this mess somehow. Do you think I can get a job at Marvel now?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...