Super City

[Hermit]

Welcome to Super City,

Where we try to provide for all your heroing needs.

 

Included in our fair and foul city are:

Battle Beach Sand, Surf, and attacks by Atlantis, what better way to unwind, relax, and unleash haymakers aplenty than going to Battle beach?

 

Carnivorous Panda Zoo Where almost every creature is a predator, and somehow those cages keep getting unlocked.

 

Casa De Plot Device Need a haunted mansion? A rich manor that might make a good HQ? Whatever your need, Casa De Plot Device is for you.

 

Comedic Opportunity Mall Superfights through the Lingerie department, alien invaders landing in the arcade, embedding a villain in the "You are Here" sign; it's the simple things in life that bring a smile to our faces.

 

The Daily Busybody A newspaper that chiefly employs attractive, nosey, and spunky reporters with a penchant for hanging from ledges or being strapped to sawmill deathtraps.

 

Donothing Mayor's Office Mayor D.O. Nuthin is always happy to tell you how happy he is to help. In the mean time, don't wait up for a return call.

 

Everyone's a Mutant High where young tommy must bear the burden of secretly being a mutant with special powers alone. So must Billy, and Sally, and Lisa, and Tonya. One day they might actually stop and compare notes, but in the mean time, enjoy the angst.

 

Evil Executive Industries They test on animals, they don't allow unions, only the evilest women ever break the glass ceiling, and the concept of public domain confuses and mystifies them.

 

Good Guy Co. The good guy corporation; The rivals for EE Ind's slice of the pie. Sure, G.G. Co. also makes weapons, but theirs are strapped to super heroic powered armor. Oh, and their women don't have to be evil, just buxom.

 

Inept City Hall Under the insipid err, intrepid leadership of the mayor, this gathering of the city's civic minded men and women asking to serve (and who were getting their butts kicked in the independent business and legal world) have a million ideas how to help our heroes.

 

"Man Was Not Meant to Know" Research Labs Sure, they create a new virus every year, and a new monster every month or so, by accident, but they're also the people you can turn to when you want to figure out what that weird doohickey does. If they don't know, it's probably magic.

 

Mobsters Fine Dining Filled with fine ethnic cuisine and stereotypes, this restaurant is a plethora of good food and bad accents. See guys like:

Louie "the Non Indigenous Shark" Lamonz

Fen "Insert a color and an oriental sounding animal here" Lung

Ivan "The Red Hammer/Sickle/Other Utensil that sounds vaguely threatening" Dimitrokov

And, of course,

Keith "Why am I even in here? I'll sue Hermit for this" Curtis!

 

 

Monopoly Prison Where every few days, some only recently captured bad guy rolls double sixes.

 

Mugger's Park Even here, there is a little spot of green life that some people come to admire, take their families to, and enjoy. The other people come to club THOSE people over the head. Beware of Pigeono, the 50ft tall radioactive fowl.

 

Obnoxiously Loud Football Stadium and Super Hero Arena Because those over paid pansies with shoulder pads don't always give TV viewers a REAL show, feel free to have your super battles here. I have a new HDTV, and I want to give it a road test.

 

Overpriced University Where the future scientists, businessmen, and Hooters employees come to build a better tomorrow for themselves, and the rest of us. Enjoy the political protests, the scientific experiments, and the Sigma Kis summong up yet ANOTHER Demon.

 

Sea Monster Bay Like the beach, but bigger monsters, less volleyball.

 

Stoolie's Bar and Grill Come in, sit a spell, get a warm pint in your hand... and crack it over the head of some poor mook until he confesses everything!!

 

Tyghtass Estates Where the city's cream of polite society does its best to politely give the rest of the city a giant middle finger by hiding behind walls, electronic fences, and guard dogs that are part Doberman, part anti Christ. Also a good place for playboy secret identies to dwell because you were too #$$#ing lazy to think of what your character would do for a job, admit it!

 

Vapid T.V. Network The headquarters for the same network that brought you "Fairly Balanced News" and "3600 Seconds" is stationed here. They also produce some of the finest consistently fourth place comedies and dramas in the local ratings chart, such as "Buds", and "Boise Law". Heroes who lose a team mate may see one of this network's roving camera crews at the ready with a reporter all set to ask them "how do you -feel- about that?"

 

 

Warehouses and Villain Lairs Pretty redundant, really.

 

 

And there's so much more, we hope you enjoy your stay

[AmadanNaBriona]

Re: Super City

 

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Makes me want to turn the city into an Arkham Horror style boardgame, only using supers!

 

Still chuckling.

Repped

[rjcurrie]

Re: Super City

 

Absolutely wonderful. I especially enjoyed the Keith Curtis reference.

[Hermit]

Re: Super City

 

Glad you folks enjoyed.

If anyone wants to write up a few more, please feel free. It occurs to me I left out the police station and the hospital

[winterhawk]

Re: Super City

 

Keystone District Police HQ: Where every cop is corrupt, stupid or only capable of turning on the Hero Signal. Donut deliveries daily!

 

My own lame contibution. This is absolutely one of the funniest things I have ever read on these boards or anywhere else for that matter.

[Twilight]

Re: Super City

 

I owe you rep Hermit.

[Guzalot]

Re: Super City

 

That's great stuff

[Hermit]

Re: Super City

 

BTW, in case anyone wants the map sans the junk I put on it, I forget where I got it originally but it isn't my creation so here you go. Flip it, rotate it, whatever. You can use it for serious stuff as well

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Re: Super City

 

Anything with the phrase "Carnivorous Panda" located within automatically gets a from me.

 

And the rest is excellent, too. Bravo!

[Trebuchet]

Re: Super City

 

 

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Hermit again."

[Trebuchet]

Re: Super City

 

Glad you folks enjoyed.

If anyone wants to write up a few more, please feel free. It occurs to me I left out the police station and the hospital

Mel O'Drama Memorial Hospital: Where the dedicated nurses and doctors can save anybody from anything, unless they are a nameless extra or their death is mandated by a season finale or sweeps week. Special rates for DNPCs.

[winterhawk]

Re: Super City

 

Contributed by Mrs. Winterhawk:

 

Pretty Woman Blvd.: The Red Light district where all prostitutes are attractive, buxom, scantily clad, brimming with information and are constantly under assault by pimps, gang members and various other lowlifes. Despite their lifestyle, none have drug problems, No Crack Ho's here, boys!

[Hermit]

Re: Super City

 

Contributed by Mrs. Winterhawk:

 

Pretty Woman Blvd.: The Red Light district where all prostitutes are attractive, buxom, scantily clad, brimming with information and are constantly under assault by pimps, gang members and various other lowlifes. Despite their lifestyle, none have drug problems, No Crack Ho's here, boys!

 

As it SHOULD be, darn it!

 

 

Great additions guys.

[Asperion]

Re: Super City

 

For those mobility-challenged heros:

 

Whyne-Down Transit Service: We can get you to the scene now at reasonable prices unles it costs us the vehicle. Our drivers tend to be competent unles someone challenges it, then they can do nothing. About the only thing that the driver is good for is information, but do not ask any question that will help the scenerio along.

[Tamashii2000]

Re: Super City

 

For those mobility-challenged heros:

 

Whyne-Down Transit Service: We can get you to the scene now at reasonable prices unles it costs us the vehicle. Our drivers tend to be competent unles someone challenges it, then they can do nothing. About the only thing that the driver is good for is information, but do not ask any question that will help the scenerio along.

 

 

Why do I get the mental image that this is a subway Tram?

[TheRavenIs]

Re: Super City

 

Ok you have done it again.....repped.

[Benzini]

Re: Super City

 

...And if you haven't picked up Top10 collected works, do so, the humor and inside industry jokes are hilarious! (in the first issue, the police are called in on a Domestic between Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman)

[Vanguard00]

Re: Super City

 

Gotta wait to hit ya with rep, Hermit, but darn good stuff!

[transmetahuman]

Re: Super City

 

Sunny Rest Cemetary - Suprisingly small for the city's only cemetary. The "Sunny" part is clearly a misnomer - it is perpetually overcast and misty - but the "Rest" is appproriate. "Rest" as in "rest stop" - the secret of their success is their ability to re-use nearly every grave after the interred inevitably claws its way out. The management and security guards never talk about it - bad for business. Especially with the rent they take in from the undead and other mortality-challenged supervillains wanting stylish mausoleum digs. For some reason, none of the past residents' families ever seem to notice any of this.

 

SCSTS - Pronounced "Zits" by locals, the Super City Subway Transit System is immense but underused. Few trains actually run, because of the loss of money as everyone realized there were far more, and more convenient, "secret" entrances to the tunnels and stations than there were official stations with turnstyles (where you would be expected to actually pay)...

[Cancer]

Re: Super City

 

Three Chernobyl Island Local nuclear power plant, with a remarkably unstable control system and whose reactor containment vessel was repossessed shortly after commissioning. Somehow obtained a liscence to dump its waste into nearby Mutagen Swamps. Because of the appalling level of radiation escaping into the nearby environment, it was deemed unnecessary to have security systems (other than the gaudy chain-link fence) or night watchmen. Because the radiation immediately overexposes photographic emulsions on the site, no photographs of the interior of the plant are available. Overseen by the mayor's "clever" son-in-law since he was released from Eastern State Hospital For Microcephalic Youth.

[Guest George Kirby]

Re: Super City

 

Mugger Heights: A neighborhood so crime ridden that no one but criminals live or work there. But that's okay, because Mugger Heights is strategically located so that you have to pass through it to get to anywhere else in the city! The buildings are falling apart, grafitti covers everything, and for some strage reason, there are no real streets, just dark alleys.

 

 

I cannot believe no one's put up an entry for the following yet:

 

The Munchausen By Proxy Memorial Asylum For The Criminally Insane: This prison for those too crazy to be sent to a real lockup is about as leaky as a sieve, but as spooky as an all-night run of John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness! All the usual costumed maniacs call this place home... at least between escapes and murder sprees.

[Hermit]

Re: Super City

 

Suxlikahoover Dam Incredibly tall, vastly wide, and apparently thin enough for a small Dutch boy to poke a finger through judging by how many times its potential destruction has threatened to flood the city. Given that, some speculate having whole neighborhoods where the Riverbed used to be was a "bad idea", but a scientific study by EEI's Real Estate and Pontoon division scoffs at such "limited thinking".

[assault]

Re: Super City

 

Suxlikahoover Dam Incredibly tall' date=' vastly wide, and apparently thin enough for a small Dutch boy to poke a finger through judging by how many times its potential destruction has threatened to flood the city. Given that, some speculate having whole neighborhoods where the Riverbed used to be was a “bad idea”, but a scientific study by EEI’s Real Estate and Pontoon division scoffs at such ‘limited thinking’.[/quote']

 

I got one of those messages when I tried to rep you.

 

"Saving the dam" is a classic Superheroic bit. When I remodelled Assault on early Superman I was wondering exactly how to model this. Can you really do this by simply applying strength, or do you need to buy it "Area Effect"?

 

Obviously, both work, depending on the GM. Still, I want Assault to be able to do what Superman did in 1938-39.

 

"Because".

 

I see Assault as "local boy makes good". Being able to handle lots of neat stuff is handy.

 

So, how do you prevent a dam from collapsing?

 

For what it's worth, I'm keeping a careful track of this thread... I've even downloaded the map.

 

Oops: My contribution!

 

Prostituteville.

Where the people nobody else cares about live. The only superheroes that operate here are the most liberal, those who happen to be flying overheard at the time, and those very few reformed villains that live here. (read Catwoman. No, really, you should. The early stuff was particularly neat.)

 

(Real World: I used to live up the street from Brisbane's "Red Light District". The women that lived in my house were, of course, propositioned quite a lot, simply from being in the area. The women in my house weren't, of course, wimps. Then again, people used to assume I was gay, simply from living there. Convenient and cheap places to live in the Big City come with a price, apparently. On the other hand, being able to walk to work, without being a squillionaire, is nice, apart from the bit about not being a squillionaire.)

 

[EDIT]: Oops! I forgot...

 

Ethnicville

The inhabitants of this area are regarded by the rest of the population of the city as being "different". If they are really unlucky, they are viewed as being terrorists...

 

There are probably several different "Ethnicvilles" in Super City.

[mikesama]

Re: Super City

 

Too Tall Towers: Over a hundred stories tall, balconies everywhere and appartment square footage that many suburban houses fail to match. Not to mention small labratories and stair wells big enough for running/flying fights to take place in. And a support structure that is marvellously stable unless someone actually trys to damage it in which case it is only slightly stronger than wet cardboard.

[Hermit]

Gangs of Super City

 

They crawl in the under belly of super city like the hookworms of crime. Perhaps they played too many board games as children, for they see every square block as their turf. Since they can't build hotels on them, they'll rule them by the knife.

 

Some sell drugs...

Some form small protection rackets...

Some break into musical song and dance numbers from Grease!

 

They have to be stopped, and that's where the super heroes come in!

 

They are The Street Gangs of Super City!:

 

 

The Eubonic Plague: An embarrasment to the black community (Though not all the Eubonics are African American), the Eubonics are actually not that dangerous unless you can't stand rap lyrics. They're really only doing this gang gig to get street cred so they can make it on the hip hop scene, and hope to one day mug a record producer and impress him with their cool beats and mad skillz! They are also hunted by Cosby on an 8 or less.

 

The Orange Wang Gang: How they got this odd name is unknown, but this gang is feared. Perhaps they have mystic powers, for those that know them cringe at their very touch. In the alleys of Super City, one can hear their battle cry... "Free Cheetos and Handjobs for all my friends!"

 

(Special thanks to Blue and Lightray)

 

The Polyhedrons: The lowest of the low, these scum are corrupters of youth who poison any customers they can hook on their products. That's right, they sell D20 products to kids, and not the quality stuff either.

 

Riff Raff: A violent gang of balding yet long haired men, this group formed up when a local theatre was closed, perhaps coincidence, perhaps not. Basically 'normal' (as normal as they get), their leader is known to carry a laser capable of emmiting pure anti matter, a disruption of science so vast, that the descendents of Schawlow and Townes have begged the gang to at least put flowers on certain graves before using it. This gang is a group of vicious killers with a particular hatred for crossdressers... their only rationale? "They never liked me!"

 

The Stoolies!: At one time, every gang member had a stoolie, someone who'd sell the others out in a heart beat just to keep the mighty fist of justice from breaking their fragile nose of crime! Fed up with this, some years ago, there was a massive expulsion of many stoolies, and they were forced to form their own gang for survival. Ready to fold like a presidential canadite in the face of public opinion polls when confronted by violence, they remain the information source of Super City's underworld... it's getting them to shut up that's the problem.