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Jokes


Dust Raven

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Re: Jokes

 

There was another great variation of that routine where there were three bands scheduled to be on the stage: The Who' date=' The Band, and Yes. At the end, teh frustrated stage manager asked hte promoter to write down the names of the acts, to which he replied, "If I could write, I wouldn't be stealing someone else's routine!"[/quote']

 

Micheal McKean was one of the two - I remember hearing it on Dr Demento back in the late 80s or so.

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Re: Jokes

 

Ole and Lars were

looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.

 

Ole says to Lars,

“Haff yew seen da beautiful girls in dis catalog?”

 

Lars replies, “Ya, dey are very

beautiful. And look at da price!”

 

Ole says, with wide eyes, “Wow, dey aren't verra

expensive. At dis price, I'm buying vun.”

 

Lars smiles and pats him on the back.

“Good idea! Order vun and if she's as

beautiful as she is in da catalog, I vill get vun too."

 

Three weeks later, Lars asks his friend,

“Did yew ever receive da girl yew ordered from dat

Sears catalog?”

 

Ole replies......”No, but it shouldn't be long now.

Her clothes arrived yesterday!”

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Re: Jokes

 

Budreaux (boo-dro) the Cajun has a wife, and one day she got her heart set on having some alligator shoes.

 

Budreaux told her "Woman, we can't afford no alligator shoes!"

 

But she got her heart set and she tell Budreaux "You gonna gets me them shoes, and I don't care how!"

 

So as Budreaux drive to town he see this gator cross the road. Quick like a bunny he hop out of the car and he on that ole gator like a duck on a junebug. They wrassel, go round and round, gator almost make it to the bayou,

but finally Budreaux got that gator pinned and takes a good look at him.

 

"Don't that beat all! All that work for nothing! No shoes!"

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Re: Jokes

 

A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

 

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

 

Michael said, "Just a minute. I have to go pee."

 

The teacher shook her head, saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman?"

 

Sherman replied, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

 

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, Johnny?"

 

Johnny said, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner."

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