Bazza Posted April 21 Report Share Posted April 21 Just proving that metric stormtroopers are part of the rebel alliance… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21 Report Share Posted April 21 Not quite a joke but still funny. Rickrolling has taught us to be wary of random links more than any cyber security course ever has. wcw43921 and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 23 Report Share Posted April 23 For a song called "Piano Man", the guy with the harmonica won't shut the **** up. mattingly, Ockham's Spoon and Starlord 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted April 29 Report Share Posted April 29 I heard that that Americans are disturbingly ignorant of geography, so just out of curiosity I asked my daughter, "Do you know where the capital of the United States is?" She answered "In the off-shore bank accounts of the ultra-wealthy." mattingly, Pariah, Starlord and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29 Report Share Posted April 29 She’s not wrong. She’s likely have read America's 60 Families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 29 Report Share Posted April 29 Some of us more experienced folks have seen this before. How To Hunt Elephants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 30 Report Share Posted April 30 I was air drumming to Metallica in the car this morning. But I dropped one of the sticks out the window, so I had to switch to Def Leppard. Starlord, DentArthurDent and slikmar 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 30 Report Share Posted April 30 Another Schrödinger's cat joke? That joke's been done to death Or has it...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30 Report Share Posted April 30 It is Schrödinger's cat because he would never wish death to dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 What food does LeBron James never order at McDonald's? Nuggets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 2 Report Share Posted May 2 And Whoppers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 3 Report Share Posted May 3 Future Hollywood disclaimer: “no ai was harmed in the making of this film.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 3 Report Share Posted May 3 I ordered a edition of Dante's Purgatory. It is lost in the post. No Happy. (cross posting to Cranky thread) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 3 Report Share Posted May 3 Q: What do you call potassium chloride with a hand grenade? A: A salt with a deadly weapon. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 3 Report Share Posted May 3 Three engineers are having a drink at the local watering hole after work and get into a debate about the nature of God. The first opined, “God must be a mechanical engineer: look at the elegant structure of the human body, the way everything works together — muscles, tendons, ligaments, joints, bones. Absolutely brilliant.” “Naw,” says the second. “You’ve got it all wrong: God is an electrical engineer. Just observe the beautiful functionality of the nervous system, coordinating everything in the body.” “Nope,” interrupted the third. “God is clearly a civil engineer.” “How so?” asked the other two. “Well, who else would put a waste disposal system right smack dab in the middle of a recreation area?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted May 3 Report Share Posted May 3 DentArthurDent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 4 Report Share Posted May 4 I have to exercise and do stretches every day to keep my body from degrading past 'moderately functional'. My cat sleeps all day, inert as the cushions on the couch he lays on, and yet he can do parkour at a whim. Clearly it was not man that God made in his own image. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 4 Report Share Posted May 4 I once dated a girl who was a communist. It didn’t work out. I should’ve seen the red flags. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 5 Report Share Posted May 5 Psychiatrist: "How long have you suffered from amnesia?" Me: "As long as I can remember." DentArthurDent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 5 Report Share Posted May 5 I haven't tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys, so I am pretty sure I'd hate yoga. slikmar and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 9 Report Share Posted May 9 Therapist: So let me make sure I understand. You're in here because of an argument over Star Wars? Her: Yes. My husband had this brilliant idea that we should name all of our children after Star Wars characters. Him: Well, our son Luke thought it was a fantastic idea. Her: But our daughter Chewbacca, not so much. Him: Yeah, I'll admit that was a Wookie mistake. Her: And that's why I'm leaving him. Therapist: Sorry, man, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Divorce is strong with this one. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 10 Report Share Posted May 10 (edited) I sang and played my lute for hours, but then I had to stop. I was developing minstrel cramps. Edited May 10 by Pariah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 A joke, in three versions ... The Classic: There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. The Surprise: There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base 3. The Truth: There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and 9 others, all of whom are tired of this joke. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 Morse code is base 3. DentArthurDent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 *sigh* Someone didn’t realise that there is a “dot”, “dash”, and “space”; so base 3. It is how blind people were, at one stage, amble to find work. Without the “space” there is no way to distinguish one letter (or word) from another. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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