Bazza Posted February 29 Report Share Posted February 29 Two artists had a fight. It ended in a draw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 1 Report Share Posted March 1 (edited) Did you hear that NASA is about to launch a new mission to say sorry to aliens for Earth polluting space? It's called "Apollo-G". Edited March 1 by Bazza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted March 2 Report Share Posted March 2 Her: I cannot believe you had sex with her! Him: She was laying naked right in front of me, what did you expect me to do? Her: The autopsy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 2 Report Share Posted March 2 Pariah -> <- Ockham's Spoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 ATM machine = addicted to money machine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Mornings are so much better for me now that I've switched from coffee to orange juice. The doctor says it's the vitamin C and the natural sugars, but I think it's probably the vodka. Cancer and Ockham's Spoon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 "I have invented a new car for teenagers that only runs if the driver and passengers aren't talking." "What makes you think that's such a great idea?" "Well, it goes without saying." Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 So much information can be shared through social media these days, and it has taught me two things. First, there are incredibly brilliant, clever, creative people out there. Second, they are vastly outnumbered. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Stealing this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 I know I’m in the first group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 8 hours ago, Ockham's Spoon said: So much information can be shared through social media these days, and it has taught me two things. First, there are incredibly brilliant, clever, creative people out there. Second, they are vastly outnumbered. Dude, this is the Joke thread, not the reality thread. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3 Report Share Posted March 3 Did you know that koi fish always travel in groups of four? If attacked by predators, the A, B, and C koi fish will swim away in different directions, leaving behind the D koi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Frank was at a bar, looking to score, but the pickings seemed slim. After a few beers though, one older woman was looking pretty good. They chatted a bit, danced a little, and drank some more. Frank wouldn't normally be interested in someone who looked like she might be eligible for Social Security checks in the next couple of years, but had just about convinced himself that a mature, experienced woman might be worth a try, when the lady leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially "You ever had a sportman's double?" "What's that?" asked Frank. "It's a mother-daughter threesome." she said. "You interested?" "Heck yeah!" Frank said, hardly believing his luck. They drove back to the lady's place, where she led him to the bedroom. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back." she said smiling slyly. Frank took off his clothes and climbed into the bed, imagining the possibilities when he heard the lady yelling up the stairs, "Hey Momma, you still awake?" Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Reminiscent of the ABBA song "Two For the Price of One". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Also, ABBA: Does your mother know?; followed by Queen’s Tie Your Mother Down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Q: What's an environmentalist? A: Someone who already has a cabin in the woods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 I guess that is we’re Wally* has been hiding all this time. *Waldo, although, to be fair, he should be renamed Walden… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 as my friend was dying, he gave me his epi pen. It seemed important to him that i have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 So there was this weird smell in my classroom this morning. It bugged me all day long, because I couldn't quite place the scent. But just as fourth period ended, I finally figured out what it was: Teen Spirit. Now I feel stupid. And contagious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Best to assume a hazardous substance and get a medical detox clean. Scrub real good, get it all out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Why is it hard to solve a murder in Alabama? Spoiler Because there are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 Similar could be said for Utah… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 8 Report Share Posted March 8 (edited) I stopped by the tobacconist this afternoon, only to discover that the shop had been replaced by a haberdashery. Clothes, but no cigar. Edited March 8 by Pariah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted March 10 Report Share Posted March 10 On 3/7/2024 at 5:52 AM, Bazza said: Similar could be said for Utah… No. There is no crime in Utah. They are all Saints Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 11 Report Share Posted March 11 Later-day saints, not present-day saints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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