Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 25, 2022 Report Share Posted July 25, 2022 "Screw this," he said, as he went off to get hammered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 25, 2022 Report Share Posted July 25, 2022 Babysitter stands her ground... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 26, 2022 Report Share Posted July 26, 2022 My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted July 26, 2022 Report Share Posted July 26, 2022 21 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: Professor X: What's your superpower? Me: Hindsight. Professor X: That's not going to help us. Me: Yes, I see that now. This was a job for... Hindsight Lad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 26, 2022 Report Share Posted July 26, 2022 My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are. But I laugh more. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2022 Report Share Posted July 26, 2022 My wife said she would leave me if I gave our newborn daughter a weird name... ...so I called her Bluff. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 27, 2022 Report Share Posted July 27, 2022 My wife had a new air conditioner installed without us even discussing it. She says she thought I'd be cool with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2022 Report Share Posted July 28, 2022 We couldn't locate our pizza cutter after the move, so I used an old Bryan Adams CD. It worked perfectly. It cuts like a knife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2022 Report Share Posted July 28, 2022 A little known outtake from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Relics": Counselor Troi: "How are you enjoying your time aboard our Enterprise?" Scotty: "Oh, she's a wonderful ship, but I can't figure out why the computer sounds like Nurse Chapel." Counselor Troi: "Really? I always thought the computer sounded a lot like my mother." slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards." Me: "And?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 I just joined a dating site for arsonists. I've been sent a lot of matches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 Get any hot ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 This one is warming up to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 Is she a real firecracker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 She must be. He's clearly carrying a torch for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 It’s really simmering. I gues getting coal for Christmas would be a good thing? Many Redheads? (https://www.redheads.com.au/products) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 My wife and I had a serious discussion today because she woke up this morning to find the fridge full of stir fry. Apparently I've been sleep wokking. mattingly and Logan D. Hurricanes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 So my son got in trouble at school today, even though he was sticking up for a girl against a bully. I asked him what happened, and he said, "Timmy was picking on Julie, so I asked Timmy, 'Hey, do you have a pen?' "He said, 'Yeah, I got a pen. Why do you care?' "I said, 'Don't you think you ought to get back into it before the zookeeper notices you're gone?'" Cancer, Ockham's Spoon and wcw43921 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 29, 2022 Report Share Posted July 29, 2022 My Roomba just beat me to a Cheeto I dropped on the floor. This is how the war against the machines begins. Ockham's Spoon and slikmar 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 30, 2022 Report Share Posted July 30, 2022 I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 30, 2022 Report Share Posted July 30, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 30, 2022 Report Share Posted July 30, 2022 57 minutes ago, Pariah said: I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.. You are writing a book on ygolohcysp? Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 30, 2022 Report Share Posted July 30, 2022 This one's for Tribble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 31, 2022 Report Share Posted July 31, 2022 I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 31, 2022 Report Share Posted July 31, 2022 WHAT did the metal say about their recent purchase? It was a steel! WHAT happens when you stand behind a car? You get exhausted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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