Twilight Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times For all those commenting upon the 'lameness' of Doug Ramsey, I would like to point out one thing. When Magus, Warlock's father and ruler of his people, attacked the New Mutants who was it who defeated him? Cypher, that's who. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaft Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Cypher can decipher anything. Sounds to me like he he could crack any database or password (including those used by NORAD, the NSA, Al-Quaeda, mp3 pirates, etc...), decode intercepted transmissions made over either a radio or a computer network (including VPNs), check anyone's online bank records. He can decipher thing including ancient Stargate keys, magic scrolls, transmissions from the recently deceased that show up as static on your TV. He's effectively got the powers of the macguffin in "Sneakers", without the focus limitations. He is the ultimate "decker". If he were alive, there wouldn't be a government that wouldn't kill us all to have him. Can somebody revive him to offer him a job in a Dark Champions game? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times I think the whole reason the Aquans are so universally dismissed as being lame is because of Superfriends, which had to go to such ridiculous lengths to make his sole (cartoon-version) superpowers useful ... breathing underwater and aquatic telepathy ("My ability to talk to fish is useless here, Wonder Woman!"). However, in the comics, the problem is mostly that everything he does is simply overshadowed by another member of the Justice League. Aquaman is super-strong, but Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Martian Manhunter are stronger. Aquaman is middlin' invulnerable, but Superman and Green Lantern (with Forcefield), and possibly the Manhunter are tougher. Aquaman is quick, but Flash is faster ... a LOT faster. Aquaman is a telepath (last I knew, he was learning to use his telepathy with things other than aquatic life), but nowhere near as skilled or powerful as the Manhunter. Aquaman has keen senses (he can see on the ocean floor!), but Superman has his vision powers, and the Manhunter can also see in the dark, to say nothing of Batman's various nightvision lenses and such. Now, were I writing Justice League, I would probably make him the King of the Seas in a fairly literal sense ... give him Hydrokinesis powers, so he can actually manipulate water. In his old series (pre-Superfriends, IIRC), he had the ability to create 'hard water spheres' and throw them as projectiles. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times According to this segment of the Superhero Fan Base, at least: Bouncing Boy=funny moments, not a joke character Matter-Eater Lad=funny moments, not a joke character The Legion of Substitute Heroes=funny moments, but NOT joke characters Bouncing Boy, Matter Eater Lad, and most of the Legion of Substitute Heroes, as well as many rejected members of the LoSH, had whimsical powers and were often played as comic relief. That didn't make them bad characters; often the point of the story was that the whimsical powers of the LoSH were just the things needed to save the day. Some of my favorite comic book moments were funny. Funny does not necessarily equal bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Mhoram Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Some of my favorite comic book moments were funny. And, to comment on another thread, is exactly what is wrong with the "Iron Age"... not enough funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vestnik Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times That and in general power sets that involve commanding animals tend to get dissed, too, partly I think as we generally look at animals as inferiors and the power to manipulate them so indirect that it's less clearly powerful. Such as the common (and generally from non-geeks) disses of Antman. Come to think of it, the ability to command microscopic organisms would be pretty lethal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Another point in favor of Tenzil ... in the later Legion years, Tenzil was an incredibly effective person NOT because of his powers, but because of his charisma. The dude went into politics and probably did as much, if not more good, from that post than he did (directly) as a Legionnaire. Of course, he did once bite the Persuader's Atomic Axe in half ... MEL: "When the battle got tough, I realized that I had to rely on my strengths." Reporter: "Which are ...?" MEL: "Well, mostly eating and digesting." Well, he's taller and more athletic than I am. I'm going to rely on my strengths, singing and songwriting. - Paul Simon, SNL street basketball sketch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Lamest Superheroes: Captain Marvel Jr. (Freddy Freeman) Professor Xavier Niles Caulder Donald Blake ... what? oh. Keith "never mind" Curtis You're mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkmanDan Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Isn't Arm Fall Off Boy one of those crappy emo bands? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Now, were I writing Justice League, I would probably make him the King of the Seas in a fairly literal sense ... give him Hydrokinesis powers, so he can actually manipulate water. In his old series (pre-Superfriends, IIRC), he had the ability to create 'hard water spheres' and throw them as projectiles. Just a thought. Actually his wife Mera had that ability, not he. And she could do a lot more with it. She was like Green Lantern with water, but not as powerful. Wait, even if he had that ability, he would be perpetuating the pattern you gave. Rats. Keith "I mean, Sea Rats!" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Lamest Superheroes: Captain Marvel Jr. (Freddy Freeman) Professor Xavier Niles Caulder Donald Blake ... what? oh. Keith "never mind" Curtis Took me a moment - that was pretty funny, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Come to think of it' date=' the ability to command microscopic organisms would be pretty lethal. [/quote'] I am Protozoa Man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Actually his wife Mera had that ability, not he. And she could do a lot more with it. She was like Green Lantern with water, but not as powerful. Wait, even if he had that ability, he would be perpetuating the pattern you gave. Rats. Keith "I mean, Sea Rats!" Curtis Maybe if Aquaman could emit endless supplies of water out of his bodily orifices...? Oh, wait, that's unique but pretty darn lame...then again, villains don't have time to laugh when they're being hit with the Fire Hose Attack! (and I do mean hose...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Come to think of it' date=' the ability to command microscopic organisms would be pretty lethal.[/quote'] Infectious Lass is the scariest Legionnaire, ever. Keith "I would surrender so quickly" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vestnik Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times I am Protozoa Man! "E. Coli, attack!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haileris Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times What? No mention of the Aquarian, Razorback, or even the Fabulous Frog-Man yet? Marvel has had it's share of stinkers too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vestnik Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Infectious Lass is the scariest Legionnaire, ever. Keith "I would surrender so quickly" Curtis Pshaw! All girls have cooties! That's not a superpower, it's an Everygirl skill! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakboy6117 Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times well thank you all! if it wasn't for this thread i wouldn't have been reminded of red bee and now I'm going to have to write up a cool modern version of iron bee to prove it can be done. Damn it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Cypher can decipher anything. Sounds to me like he he could crack any database or password (including those used by NORAD, the NSA, Al-Quaeda, mp3 pirates, etc...), decode intercepted transmissions made over either a radio or a computer network (including VPNs), check anyone's online bank records. He can decipher thing including ancient Stargate keys, magic scrolls, transmissions from the recently deceased that show up as static on your TV. He's effectively got the powers of the macguffin in "Sneakers", without the focus limitations. He is the ultimate "decker". If he were alive, there wouldn't be a government that wouldn't kill us all to have him. Can somebody revive him to offer him a job in a Dark Champions game? IGN.com ran an article about a year and a half ago listing their Top Ten movie wish list featuring obscure characters. Cypher made the list at #8. http://comics.ign.com/articles/650/650671p1.html Here's a synopsis from the article: Mutants live in a world that fears and hates them, but truth-be-told, if Doug Ramsey existed in our world, he'd be one rich man. Cypher has the ability to insantly understand and communicate any language, even binary. Rather than your typical X-Men flick, Cypher would actually be an incredibly successful intelligence agent, who happens to house the deep, dark secret that he's a mutant. A Cypher flick could prove to be the rare superhero thriller. A superhero thriller? I'd drop $8.50 to see something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times My personal list include people like the Punisher "Uh... I wear black and carry guns. I shoot gangsters" yeah, real Superheroic there. *sigh* [Commenting On The Disco Boy's arsenal] Mister Furious: What? Guns? That's your power, you shoot guns? Blue Raja: There's no theme at all here. Furious: Weak. Raja: At best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assault Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times if it wasn't for this thread i wouldn't have been reminded of red bee and now I'm going to have to write up a cool modern version of iron bee to prove it can be done. Red Bee isn't that much worse than Air Wave, really. Air Wave has the potential to be extremely useful. Zan and Jayna suffered from being written as morons. It would be easy enough to rework them as very useful. For example Zan would have invisibility, desol and limited flight in his water vapour form, and presumably would have no problem functioning underwater either. That's a perfectly viable power set just there. Add training from Batman and, well, Aquaman (the water specialist) and he'd be fine. I probably have to concede lameness to the superpets. Comet is an exception, largely because he occasionally becomes human, and has that bit of "tragic separation from the love of his life" stuff going on. Otherwise, though, even Krypto is basically just a bit of cheese. Aquaman and Aqualad, now... I read quite a few of their old stories over the past year. Unfortunately, I have had to conclude that they are, in fact, lame. The lameness doesn't come from their powers, so much as what their special effects. To put it bluntly, octopus based entangles are dubious at the best of times, and only get worse when the target isn't even in the water to begin with. There are many other equally silly examples of their fish-based special effects. They really are that lame. Like the Red Bee, they don't necessarily have to be lame. But they are. I can't be bothered assembling a full list of ten lame-os. One that comes to mind from Marvel, though is Dazzler. A roller disco themed superheroine? Oh yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times I probably have to concede lameness to the superpets. Comet is an exception, largely because he occasionally becomes human, and has that bit of "tragic separation from the love of his life" stuff going on. Otherwise, though, even Krypto is basically just a bit of cheese. They were parody and whimsy in the same setting as the "serious" characters; I like them. Read Eliot S. Magin's Krypto novella and you'll see a good example of how to use Krypto for a semi-serious and fairly touching story, if you're into that sort of thing. Streaky's indirect ancestor shows up in 1930 just before Hugo Danner in Wylie's Gladiator, and is an effective bit of comedy and pathos, with a touch of horror. Protty, Beppo and Comet could all be written completely straight if anyone felt the need. What kind of a world have we made that lacks room for Superpets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Dazzler vs. Vibe. No one wins. Keith "Unless it's mutual destruction" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times They were parody and whimsy in the same setting as the "serious" characters; I like them. Read Eliot S. Magin's Krypto novella and you'll see a good example of how to use Krypto for a semi-serious and fairly touching story' date=' if you're into that sort of thing.[/quote'] Wha-a-a-a-a??? Eilot S! Maggin wrote a Krypto novella? Where is this and how does one get it? I loved Last Son of Krypton and based several Champions games off of Miracle Monday. Keith "The exclamation point is mandatory" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Re: Top 10 List of the Lamest Superheroes of All Times Wha-a-a-a-a??? Eilot S! Maggin wrote a Krypto novella? Where is this and how does one get it? I loved Last Son of Krypton and based several Champions games off of Miracle Monday. Keith "The exclamation point is mandatory" Curtis Starwind's Howl Sure it's sentimenal as heck. That's half the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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