death tribble Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Herr Fuerer, If we attack Poland, won't we start a continent wide war? A: I'm about half depressed. Q. How do you feel about the Eagles vs Patriots Superbowl ? A. Didn't know you were with us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A. Didn't know you were with us Q: Are you stealing my parents' car and kidnapping me? A: I feel the need, the need for expeditious velocity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Are you stealing my parents' car and kidnapping me? A: I feel the need, the need for expeditious velocity. Q: Professor, How do we get back to 1985? A: Identity Anonymous -R- Us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Identity Anonymous -R- Us Q: What's the children's divisional branch of the Witness Protection Program? A: You don't know me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard00 Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: You don't know me. Q: Any advice on what I say during my upcoming psych evaluation? A: You're running out of hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Any advice on what I say during my upcoming psych evaluation? A: You're running out of hands. Q: I can still carry more. If you put that other bag in my free hand... A: The Wacky, Wacky, WOrld of Automatic Drag racing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Worldmaker Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Wacky' date=' Wacky, WOrld of Automatic Drag racing.[/quote'] Q. What's with all the drivers wearing little black mini-dresses? A. Early entries have been updated to make them immediately useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q. What's with all the drivers wearing little black mini-dresses? A. Early entries have been updated to make them immediately useful. Q) What do you mean when you call me Mr. President? A) Hamster Kablooie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Worldmaker Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A) Hamster Kablooie. Q. Timmy... what are you doing with these blasting caps? And where's your hamster? A. It involves bannanas... and rum, lots of rum. And setting things on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard00 Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A. It involves bannanas... and rum' date=' lots of rum. And setting things on fire.[/quote'] Q: So what's this South American party supposed to be like? A: Okay, but you have to take the duck with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: So what's this South American party supposed to be like? A: Okay, but you have to take the duck with you. Q: C'mon Captain Noah! how come the dove always gets to look for land? Let me do it, I'll show you what a blue footed booby can do. A: I didn't know it had been stopped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: I didn't know it had been stopped. Q: Would you like to sign a petition to re-instate freedom in our country? A: Don't stick that in your nose. You dont' know where it's been. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Would you like to sign a petition to re-instate freedom in our country? A: Don't stick that in your nose. You dont' know where it's been. Doc Q: Oh look, a booger... A: Then the Unicorn pulled out an uzi and started firing into the crowd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard00 Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Don't stick that in your nose. You dont' know where it's been. Q: Hey, is that MightyBec's pencil? A: Just once I'd like to see the end of the movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Heat Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions I interrupt your regularly scheduled hilarity. with this insert of excellent examples of this fine art, sent to me by a friend who shall remain nameless, especially as he does not post to this board. Ahem: Classic examples: ANSWER: Carnac The Magnificent. QUESTION: Who won't be coming down for breakfast anymore? ANSWER: Gatorade. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? ANSWER: Bible belt. QUESTION: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? ANSWER: Milk and honey. QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. QUESTION: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. ANSWER: Black and white and twenty feet tall. QUESTION: Describe Sister Mary Kong. ANSWER: Ben Gay. QUESTION: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? ANSWER: An unmarried woman. QUESTION: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952? ANSWER: Disjoint. QUESTION: What was dat hippie smoking? ANSWER: The Laughing Policeman. QUESTION: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. ANSWER: Until he gets caught. QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Old wives tale. QUESTION: What do cannibals find hard to digest? ANSWER: Rub-a-dub-dub. QUESTION: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? ANSWER: Shareholder. QUESTION: What did Sonny Bono used to be? ANSWER: Skalliwags. QUESTION: What does your skalli do when it's happy? ANSWER: David Frost. QUESTION: On a cold morning what forms on your david? ANSWER: Head and shoulders. QUESTION: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car? ANSWER: Hickory Dickory Dock. QUESTION: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory? ANSWER: "Rose Bowl." QUESTION: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley? ANSWER: That darn cat. QUESTION: Who ruined that darn rug? ANSWER: High rollers. QUESTION: Describe a stoned bowling team. ANSWER: Gunga din. QUESTION: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? ANSWER: "Follow the yellow brick road." QUESTION: What are good directions to a urologist's office? ANSWER: At both ends. QUESTION: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? ANSWER: Igloo. QUESTION: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? ANSWER: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. QUESTION: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? ANSWER: Grape Nuts. QUESTION: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? ANSWER: Supervisor. QUESTION: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes? ANSWER: Crabgrass. QUESTION: What do crabs get high on? ANSWER: Shake-N-Bake. QUESTION: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? ANSWER: Flypaper. QUESTION: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? ANSWER: Deep freeze. QUESTION: Name an Eskimo porno film. ANSWER: Bedbug. QUESTION: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled mayhem. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Then the Unicorn pulled out an uzi and started firing into the crowd. Q: Miss Spears, would you please tell the court exactly what happened when you informed the mythical equine of the exact state of your virginity? A: Just once I'd like to see the end of the movie. Q: Oooh! The contractions are starting! Did you call the hospital? A: A dozen boxes of toner, 24 boxes of bonded paper, and 150 gallons of ice cream. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightybec Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: A dozen boxes of toner, 24 boxes of bonded paper, and 150 gallons of ice cream. Doc Q: What was found in the elephants rectum? A: Boobies, threesomes, and combat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Boobies' date=' threesomes, and combat.[/quote'] Q: What are the ingredients of your perfect weekend? A: Traditionally, one wears boots when wearing skis. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Boobies' date=' threesomes, and combat.[/quote'] Q: What qualifies it as a worthy Mightybec film? A: Traditionally' date=' one wears boots when wearing skis.[/quote'] Q: How do you know who's a water skier on the Denver slopes? A: Threesomes, Mightybec, and combat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Threesomes' date=' Mightybec, and combat.[/quote'] Q: What did your wife tell you to avoid this weekend? A: It's a figurative gun. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's a figurative gun. Q: I don't get it, she said you were armed with a canon.... A: Since yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A: Since yesterday. Q: You're kidding. That's the seventh threesome you've had with Mightybec? A: Just keep me out of it. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: You're kidding. That's the seventh threesome you've had with Mightybec? A: Just keep me out of it. Doc Q) So, you'll give me a ride to Mightybec's luau? A) Refrain from the membrane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions A) Refrain from the membrane. Q: I should sing the chorus from the diaphram? A: You made my brain hurt again. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Re: Answers & Questions Q: I should sing the chorus from the diaphram? A: You made my brain hurt again. Doc Q: Mightybec's love life to the infinite power... visualize. A: Nudes on Ice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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