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Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: Don't look at me' date=' I just changed the oil.[/quote']

 

Q: Federline! Why does this batch of fries taste like manure?

 

A: It's like freshly salted peanuts, only without the salt, the peanuts or the freshness.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: It's like freshly salted peanuts' date=' only without the salt, the peanuts or the freshness.[/quote']

 

Q: "Soynut butter"? What the heck is soynut butter?

 

A: They're making your life story into a limited edition comic book...written and illustrated by Rob Liefeld.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: "Soynut butter"? What the heck is soynut butter?

 

A: They're making your life story into a limited edition comic book...written and illustrated by Rob Liefeld.

 

 

Q: When do you KNOW nothing you do will be remembered by succeeding generations?

 

A: Beyond the farthest turnip.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: They're making your life story into a limited edition comic book...written and illustrated by Rob Liefeld.

 

Q: OK, so I killed 14 million people, tortured another 4 million into irremediable constant agony, and drove another 22 million to suicide. Now the court's found me guilty of crimes against humanity. What's the sentence?

 

 

A: Beyond the farthest turnip.

 

Q: Where did you hide the rarest steak?

 

A: That's just a slap on the wrist.

 

EDIT: Doh!!

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Where did you hide the rarest steak?

 

A: That's just a slap on the wrist.

 

EDIT: Doh!!

 

 

Q: What's the Black Knight's opinion on capital punishment?

 

A: A Fusion powered underwire bra.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: A Fusion powered underwire bra.

 

Q: How do you keep that certain bouncy appeal while kitted out head-to-toe in skintight body armor?

 

A: I guess we can put slipping amphetamines into Spider-man's coffee on the "not such a good idea" list now.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: How do you keep that certain bouncy appeal while kitted out head-to-toe in skintight body armor?

 

A: I guess we can put slipping amphetamines into Spider-man's coffee on the "not such a good idea" list now.

 

Q: Ok, how do we explain the giant webs and all these strippers stuck in them and why is Mary Jane so mad ?

 

A: I won't

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Could you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow for me? I'm sort of stuck here.

 

A: We Gladly Accept Gold-Pressed Latinum.

 

Q: What did Bush say at the G7 meeting that made you think he was the Ferengi Quark in disguise ?

 

A: Go be a doctor while you still can

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: Go be a doctor while you still can

 

Q: Okay, the Emergency Medical Hologram has been reprogrammed for Security, and it'll be online tomorrow morning. What should I tell the Doctor, Captain Janeway?

 

A: I think you're about to go where everyone has gone before.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: I think you're about to go where everyone has gone before.

 

Q: I got a date with Mary Sue Hotbodd tonight. Think I'll get lucky?

 

A: You've just taken a dip in the disease pools of three continents!

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: I got a date with Mary Sue Hotbodd tonight. Think I'll get lucky?

 

A: You've just taken a dip in the disease pools of three continents!

 

Q: Why am I being fumigated after making out with Mary Sue Hotbodd ?

 

A: My work is here with you now

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Why am I being fumigated after making out with Mary Sue Hotbodd ?

 

A: My work is here with you now

 

 

Q: If you were responsible for the Black Death, the Mongol Invasions and the fall of Rome, why are you camping in my bedroom?

 

A: Those ARE her clothes.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: Those ARE her clothes.

 

Q: Why does your outfit look like what Mary Sue Hotbood was wearing at the bar last night?

 

A: Happiness is the surfboard of the cosmos.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Why does your outfit look like what Mary Sue Hotbood was wearing at the bar last night?

 

A: Happiness is the surfboard of the cosmos.

 

 

Q: Why should you never ask for Philosophy from a surfie?

 

A: A cow, a steel hawser, and an F111.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: A cow' date=' a steel hawser, and an F111.[/quote']

 

Q: Name three Christmas presents that are utterly inappropriate to give a Thuggee.

 

A: Because when the sergeant asks you if you want to live forever, the proper answer is YES!

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: Because when the sergeant asks you if you want to live forever' date=' the proper answer is [b']YES![/b]

 

Q: Why did Sergeant Zim put me up here on the front lines all by myself?

 

A: It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Why did Sergeant Zim put me up here on the front lines all by myself?

 

A: It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

 

 

 

Q: What was the tagline for the musical Bush's Mind?

 

A: The computer went on strike.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

[/i]A: The computer went on strike.

 

Q: Why isn't anybody ordering us to multiple hilarious demises, OBB-V-OUS-2?

 

A: Go home Happy. Go home Grumpy. Go home Sleepy. Go home Dopey. Go home Bashful, Sneezy and Doc. All seven of you little Dwarfs GO HOME! Come back tomorrow! WE'RE CLOSING NOW!

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Why isn't anybody ordering us to multiple hilarious demises, OBB-V-OUS-2?

 

A: Go home Happy. Go home Grumpy. Go home Sleepy. Go home Dopey. Go home Bashful, Sneezy and Doc. All seven of you little Dwarfs GO HOME! Come back tomorrow! WE'RE CLOSING NOW!

 

 

Q: What was heard at the Blue Balls Club the night of the Royal Wedding?

 

A: Electroshock Sneakers.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: What is Nike giving Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, barry Bonds and Tom Doughery to "try out"?

 

A: Don't try and tell me you didn't steal the roast, kitty-kitty.

 

 

Q: What were the last words of Larry the leopard keeper?

 

A: I said Gentle, not "genital".

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: I said Gentle' date=' not "genital".[/quote']

 

Q: Do NOT tell me about the private parts of your date from last night!

 

 

 

A: Actually, I had no date last night.

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Do NOT tell me about the private parts of your date from last night!

 

A: Actually, I had no date last night.

 

Q: So what is the matter with your all singing, all dancing digital watch ?

 

A: I'll be a doctor

Posted

Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: I'll be a doctor

 

Q: How about a nice rousing game of Psychotic Surgeons versus Helpless Screaming Dismemberment Victims?

 

A: Tab A goes in Slot B. It's pretty simple that way.

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