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Answers & Questions


Klytus
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Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: Welcome to the -- wait a minute' date=' let me check -- hold on a sec, it's on the tip of my -- HA! Here it is! WELCOME TO THE FORGOTTEN REALMS![/quote']

 

Q: Wait a minute, this doesn't look like New Jersey. Where are we, anyway?

 

A: Imperial Stormtroopers, or maybe the Boston Celtics. It's hard to tell.

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Q: How ya gonna make sure next year's crop is good, Lars?

 

A: The sun is out, the sky is blue, and the hens are laying opening credits.

 

Q: So how are things on the set of the new "Animal Farm" movie?

 

A: The preceding was a test of the emergency alert system. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been advised to drop to your knees, grab your ankles, and kiss your @$$ goodbye.

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Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: The preceding was a test of the emergency alert system. If this had been an actual emergency' date=' you would have been advised to drop to your knees, grab your ankles, and kiss your @$$ goodbye.[/quote']

 

Q: Has the screaming finally stopped?

 

A: I've had more intellectually stimulating and challenging conversations with my roommate's Real Doll than I have with him.

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Re: Answers & Questions

 

A: I've had more intellectually stimulating and challenging conversations with my roommate's Real Doll than I have with him.

 

Q: So, I hear your new roommate's the captain of the football team. How's that working out for you?

 

A: I prefer olive oil, actually.

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A: Well' date=' it was either this or work for the Internal Revenue Service.[/quote']

 

Q: How on Earth could you ever stoop so low as to be a pimp for a child brothel?

 

A: Look, make it easier on everyone and just take the damn dog for his walk.

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A: Look' date=' make it easier on everyone and just take the damn dog for his walk.[/quote']

 

Q: Look, Luce old buddy, isn't the Styx particularly smelly this evening? And I think Cereberus needs to be wromed, don't you? And isn't his supper late?

 

A: The Ye Old Deluder Santa Law has been evoked.

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Re: Answers & Questions

 

Q: Look, Luce old buddy, isn't the Styx particularly smelly this evening? And I think Cereberus needs to be wromed, don't you? And isn't his supper late?

 

A: The Ye Old Deluder Santa Law has been evoked.

 

Q: What does it mean when a fat man in red starts shotgunning wizards in the street?

 

A: I said "Die by the sword" not "Dry by the sword".

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Q: Why are you so upset that I hung up your freshly-washed tunic in the armory?

 

A: This, Fred, is why being the exact genetic duplicate of Joseph Stalin isn't necessarily a good thing.

 

Q: Why are forty thousand Ukrainians trying to beat down my door?

 

A: I'm sorry, that feature was left out in the interests of economy.

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A: I'm sorry' date=' that feature was left out in the interests of economy.[/quote']

 

Q: I LOVE this new sports car! The turbocharged engine, the racing stripes, and the nitro boost are awesome! By the way, where is the brake pedal?

 

A: Nobody knows the trouble I've been....

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Q: I LOVE this new sports car! The turbocharged engine, the racing stripes, and the nitro boost are awesome! By the way, where is the brake pedal?

 

A: Nobody knows the trouble I've been....

 

Q: If you've broken every law of god and man, why are you still walking around free?

 

A: Choking to death on a kidney stone.

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A: You gone about as fer as you can go.

 

Q: 'Scuze me, y'all, but I was fixin' ta head to Fer, Fer Away ta meet that Ogre fella. Did I git fer enough?

 

A: Actually, chartreuse is a sort of yellow-green, not a condiment.

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A: But it's such an UGLY color!

 

Q: Hey, check out our team's new chartreuse hockey jerseys! Nobody else in the league has anything like 'em! Pretty great, huh?

 

A: That's not penicillin, it's just ordinary bread mold.

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