Klytus Posted August 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: We won't be looking to pick up women on THIS planet. Q: We bid you welcome to the Planet of the Bog of Eternal Stench. What say thee? A: Once and your done for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Once and your done for. Q: How many times do I get to call Lolth a skank in Menzeborrean? A: Welcome to the -- wait a minute, let me check -- hold on a sec, it's on the tip of my -- HA! Here it is! WELCOME TO THE FORGOTTEN REALMS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Welcome to the -- wait a minute' date=' let me check -- hold on a sec, it's on the tip of my -- HA! Here it is! WELCOME TO THE FORGOTTEN REALMS![/quote'] Q: Wait a minute, this doesn't look like New Jersey. Where are we, anyway? A: Imperial Stormtroopers, or maybe the Boston Celtics. It's hard to tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Imperial Stormtroopers' date=' or maybe the Boston Celtics. It's hard to tell.[/quote'] Q: Our opponents shot 1-for-28 from the free throw line? who were we playing, anyway? A: Your music is screaming to my ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Your music is screaming to my ears. Q: Hi, we're Korn! You've heard of us, perhaps? A: Creamed corn and alfalfa sprouts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corven_Ren Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Hi, we're Korn! You've heard of us, perhaps? A: Creamed corn and alfalfa sprouts. Q: Man I hate walking in a dark room. What is squishing betwwen my toes? A: 300 square acres of cow manure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: 300 square acres of cow manure Q: How ya gonna make sure next year's crop is good, Lars? A: The sun is out, the sky is blue, and the hens are laying opening credits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: How ya gonna make sure next year's crop is good, Lars? A: The sun is out, the sky is blue, and the hens are laying opening credits. Q: So how are things on the set of the new "Animal Farm" movie? A: The preceding was a test of the emergency alert system. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been advised to drop to your knees, grab your ankles, and kiss your @$$ goodbye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: The preceding was a test of the emergency alert system. If this had been an actual emergency' date=' you would have been advised to drop to your knees, grab your ankles, and kiss your @$$ goodbye.[/quote'] Q: Has the screaming finally stopped? A: I've had more intellectually stimulating and challenging conversations with my roommate's Real Doll than I have with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I've had more intellectually stimulating and challenging conversations with my roommate's Real Doll than I have with him. Q: So, I hear your new roommate's the captain of the football team. How's that working out for you? A: I prefer olive oil, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: So, I hear your new roommate's the captain of the football team. How's that working out for you? A: I prefer olive oil, actually. Q: Hey Popeye, you how would you like to date Paris Hilton? A: Well, it was either this or work for the Internal Revenue Service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Well' date=' it was either this or work for the Internal Revenue Service.[/quote'] Q: How on Earth could you ever stoop so low as to be a pimp for a child brothel? A: Look, make it easier on everyone and just take the damn dog for his walk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Look' date=' make it easier on everyone and just take the damn dog for his walk.[/quote'] Q: Look, Luce old buddy, isn't the Styx particularly smelly this evening? And I think Cereberus needs to be wromed, don't you? And isn't his supper late? A: The Ye Old Deluder Santa Law has been evoked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Look, Luce old buddy, isn't the Styx particularly smelly this evening? And I think Cereberus needs to be wromed, don't you? And isn't his supper late? A: The Ye Old Deluder Santa Law has been evoked. Q: What does it mean when a fat man in red starts shotgunning wizards in the street? A: I said "Die by the sword" not "Dry by the sword". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I said "Die by the sword" not "Dry by the sword". Q: Why are you so upset that I hung up your freshly-washed tunic in the armory? A: This, Fred, is why being the exact genetic duplicate of Joseph Stalin isn't necessarily a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why are you so upset that I hung up your freshly-washed tunic in the armory? A: This, Fred, is why being the exact genetic duplicate of Joseph Stalin isn't necessarily a good thing. Q: Why are forty thousand Ukrainians trying to beat down my door? A: I'm sorry, that feature was left out in the interests of economy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'm sorry' date=' that feature was left out in the interests of economy.[/quote'] Q: I LOVE this new sports car! The turbocharged engine, the racing stripes, and the nitro boost are awesome! By the way, where is the brake pedal? A: Nobody knows the trouble I've been.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: I LOVE this new sports car! The turbocharged engine, the racing stripes, and the nitro boost are awesome! By the way, where is the brake pedal? A: Nobody knows the trouble I've been.... Q: If you've broken every law of god and man, why are you still walking around free? A: Choking to death on a kidney stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: If you've broken every law of god and man, why are you still walking around free? A: Choking to death on a kidney stone. Q: What is the No 1 cause of death among Cannibals who eat the average American ? A: You should get as far away from me as you can ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: You should get as far away from me as you can ! Q: Did you just eat all the food in a Taco Bell? A: I've been beaten, stabbed, and shot. All in all, It's been a pretty good day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Did you just eat all the food in a Taco Bell? A: I've been beaten, stabbed, and shot. All in all, It's been a pretty good day. Q: What are you smiling at, gimp? A: Crossroads of the middle west. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What are you smiling at, gimp? A: Crossroads of the middle west. Q: Why does everyone put so much effort into keeping everything in Kansas City up to date? A: You gone about as fer as you can go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: You gone about as fer as you can go. Q: 'Scuze me, y'all, but I was fixin' ta head to Fer, Fer Away ta meet that Ogre fella. Did I git fer enough? A: Actually, chartreuse is a sort of yellow-green, not a condiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Actually' date=' chartreuse is a sort of yellow-green, not a condiment.[/quote'] Q: Why are you painting my pate de fois gras? A: But it's such an UGLY color! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: But it's such an UGLY color! Q: Hey, check out our team's new chartreuse hockey jerseys! Nobody else in the league has anything like 'em! Pretty great, huh? A: That's not penicillin, it's just ordinary bread mold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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