Pariah Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Emergency or no' date=' we can't move with all the snow.[/quote'] Q - What's Congress' latest excuse for not getting a darn thing done? A - I'm no expert, but that can't possibly be right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A - I'm no expert' date=' but that can't possibly be right![/quote'] Q: And so we see how, with this slight change in coloration, we can transform this innocednt metal into the deadliest weapon in the Universe! Any questions? A: Let's see what happens when we combine these two liquids in microgravity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Let's see what happens when we combine these two liquids in microgravity! Q: 100 grams of liquid helium-4, and 100 grams of liquid anti-helium-4. Both are superfluids in this state, and how they behave in zero gee isn't easy to predict. Any suggestions? A: Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die. Q: What are they doing to Laurence Welk in Hell? A: If I'd known i was damned anyway, I would have done it more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: If I'd known i was damned anyway' date=' I would have done it more often.[/quote'] Q: I don't care how many lawyers you've killed, you are still going to Hell. Why is this fact causing you such grief? A: Boring, but not as boring as total boredom, so, I'll do it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Boring' date=' but not as boring as total boredom, so, I'll do it anyway.[/quote'] Q - Watching C-SPAN again? A - Of course it's accurate. I did it, after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q - Watching C-SPAN again? A - Of course it's accurate. I did it, after all. Q: I know you've got a chart, but I just don't believe you could accurately calculate yourself as "Awesome-est person in the world" A: ...And he finished with a 36-hour C-SPAN marathon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: ...And he finished with a 36-hour C-SPAN marathon. Q - How did the World's Most Boring Man spend his weekend? A - No sir, absolutely not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A - No sir' date=' absolutely not![/quote'] Q: Before I present you with this "Most Boring Man Alive" award, I must ask... Did you ever cheat in your 36-hour C-Span marathon by flipping channels? Just once? A: Not an award I'd be proud of, that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not an award I'd be proud of' date=' that's for sure.[/quote'] Q: And why shouldn't I display my "Mr. Nude America: Best Dressed" award? A: The Animated Series. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Animated Series. Q: Where did you learn how to knock down a wall by shouting at it? A: Let me out of this cheap B-Movie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Let me out of this cheap B-Movie! Q - What was that Bruce Campbell was yelling at his agent? A - I was afraid this might happen. Hand me that tranquilizer gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A - I was afraid this might happen. Hand me that tranquilizer gun. Q: The chair is trying to eat me! Won't you help? A: Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey. Q: Why are you and Bonzo fornicating on the front lawn? A: And correctly, may I add. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: And correctly' date=' may I add.[/quote'] Q: Did you really just say that the entire population of Paraguay is laughing behind your back? A: I want to be in that number! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: I want to be in that number! Q: The population of Paraguay is approximately 6,349,000. Why? A: Only when you laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: The population of Paraguay is approximately 6,349,000. Why? A: Only when you laugh. Q: Doctor, will I be in much pain after the surgery? A: "Son, you just made the tactical error of bring a knife to shootout..." BANG! BANG! BANG! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: "Son' date=' you just made the tactical error of bring a knife to shootout..." BANG! BANG! BANG![/quote'] Q: What did the cops say to Mack "the Knife"? A: Snow kidding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What did the cops say to Mack "the Knife"? A: Snow kidding. Q: So Frosty the Snowman is a stand-up comedian now? A: ...And that's when the eighteen-wheeler hit him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: ...And that's when the eighteen-wheeler hit him. Q: So the politician wanted to illustrate his middle-of-the-road positions in a tangible way? A: They might be better off making up their own shows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: So the politician wanted to illustrate his middle-of-the-road positions in a tangible way? A: They might be better off making up their own shows. Q: All those two do is complain about TV shows, yet all they do is watch them! A: Now *That's* a middle-of-the-road position, alright! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted February 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Now *That's* a middle-of-the-road position' date=' alright![/quote'] Q: Did you hear about the politico who advocates mandatory abortion and mandatory capital punishment? A: He who controls the ballot counts controls the election. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Did you hear about the politico who advocates mandatory abortion and mandatory capital punishment? A: He who controls the ballot counts controls the election. Q: What's the first rule of South American Politics? A: He who shoots the Ballot Counters wins the election. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: He who shoots the Ballot Counters wins the election. Q: What's the first rule of Iranian Politics? A: He who has the gold makes the rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: He who has the gold makes the rules. Q - Wait, all of our measuring sticks must be made of gold from now on? A - It's a large number. A very, very large number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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