Asperion Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: The funny thing is' date=' he *is* an economics major.[/quote'] Q: You want Clark Howard to sub for your class today? A: To Wallow in the Fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: To Wallow in the Fire. Q: What do you want this Asbestos Pig for? A: If this weren't hockey, you'd be on death row. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: If this weren't hockey' date=' you'd be on death row.[/quote'] Q: Look, I just got a 12-game suspension. Why are you looking at me like that? A: Captain Lacrosse, he ain't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Captain Lacrosse' date=' he ain't.[/quote'] Q: He dropped ALL the firewood into the lake? A: This must not be that good a vacation plan -- the travel agent just caught fire.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: He dropped ALL the firewood into the lake? A: This must not be that good a vacation plan -- the travel agent just caught fire.... Q: "Mwuhahahaha! Here's your handbasket!" A: On second though, we honestly should have expected this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: On second though' date=' we honestly should have expected this.[/quote'] Q - Did we really elect an actor and former professional wrestler as our governor? A - Well, I do, if you must know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - Well' date=' [b']I[/b] do, if you must know. Q: What do you mean, you're supposed to put the lime in the coconut and drink them both together as a pain remedy? That's stupid! A: I put my foot in it again, didn't I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I put my foot in it again' date=' didn't I?[/quote'] Q: Why are you tracking mud all over the floor? A: I sincerely doubt you had time last night to get that doctoral thesis finished, especially since you were only assigned to write it at 3:30. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I sincerely doubt you had time last night to get that doctoral thesis finished' date=' especially since you were only assigned to write it at 3:30.[/quote'] Q: What reason do you have for doubting my credibility? A: I meant besides that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I meant besides that. Q: Are you insane? A: By the way, your library books are overdue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: By the way' date=' your library books are overdue.[/quote'] Q: You think I murdered a school-bus full of orphans, stole the Crown Jewels, and blew up the aircraft carrier Nimitz? What other ridiculous things are you going to charge me with? A: HIs educational career started in Agricultural College, where he majored in Animal Husbandry until one day they caught him at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: HIs educational career started in Agricultural College' date=' where he majored in Animal Husbandry until one day they caught him at it.[/quote'] Q: Can you tell me of the early education of Doctor Samuel Gall, the inventer of the Gall Bladder? A: I specialize in the diseases of the wealthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I specialize in the diseases of the wealthy. Q: You're writing a monograph on "How to safely extract surplus cash from the wazoo"? A: You should be so lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: You should be so lucky. Q: I lost the lottery again? A: IF anyone cared whether I lived or died, they'd be barging through my door with a shotgun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: IF anyone cared whether I lived or died' date=' they'd be barging through my door with a shotgun.[/quote'] Q - Of course I care whether you live or die, sweetheart! How can you even ask me that? A - Captain Señor Mouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - Captain Señor Mouse. Q: Who is the arch-nemesis of Puss in Boots? A: Sniper Training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Sniper Training. Q - I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. Any plans for the immediate future? A - I can't believe you any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - I can't believe you any more. Q: There's a wolf coming! There's a wolf coming! We've got to -- why are you staring at me like that? A: When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: When love is gone' date=' there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom![/quote'] Q: And what is the ultimate progression through the system? A: And now the Ax-Man comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: And now the Ax-Man comes. Q: So that scarecrow is gone and the lion ran away. What next? A: This war will never be over until every last rubber duckie in the Universe has been utterly exterminated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: This war will never be over until every last rubber duckie in the Universe has been utterly exterminated. Q: What will it take to end your nightmares and to bring this war to an end? A: Worse than a Klingon with tribbles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What will it take to end your nightmares and to bring this war to an end? A: Worse than a Klingon with tribbles. Q: How's the new nanny with the kids? A: And this is exactly why I said it should be kept under lock and key... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 11, 2011 Report Share Posted June 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: And this is exactly why I said it should be kept under lock and key... Q: All right! Who pressed the jolly, candy-like History Eraser Button? A: Don't rain on my parade. Unless this is Portland, in which case you can go ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Don't rain on my parade. Unless this is Portland' date=' in which case you can go ahead.[/quote'] Q - Oregon has an annual Sunshine Festival? Really? A - Fifty-one pieces on the side of the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - Fifty-one pieces on the side of the road. Q: What happens every time the Joker steals the Batmobile? A: Did I say driving? I meant crashing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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