The Adventures of "Fish Guy" (Superhero fiction)

[DasBroot]

It was worth it, though, to see Valorous instantly become interesting with his own knee-jerk reaction.  Sorry, Val - your limited interactions with the protagonist hadn't done you a lot of favours so far.

[Hermit]

Okay, today took me a lot longer than usual to crank out some writing. Thus this rough draft will probably be uglier than the usual ones. Those allergic to bad grammar, vlonks, and typos may wish to avert their eyes.

 

Fire is a hungry nasty beast. Feed it, and it just gets bigger and wants more. Flames are no friend to yours truly as the encounter with Body Suit had proven. So I can't tell you how glad I was to have Arctic Fox along on this.  Not that Valorous was useless as he flew in the upper floor of the blazing motel while I took the bottom one.

 

 We'd come looking in this area for the next Independent, when Valorous twitched his head to the side and said there was a fire that way. Sure enough, a thin plume of smoke came into view as we got closer and the three of us got to work… the hunt for the next guy would wait.

 

"How's it going on your level, Eel?" Fox had asked through the comm. She had caked my shoulders and coated my body in cold and ice before sending me on my way into the burning building. After all, fire and I are not friends.

 

That said, it didn't last long, "Been better," I confessed through the make shift mouth scarf I'd fashioned, trying not to breathe the smoke in. Fire may not be my friend, but smoke has the better kill record. That's why in school they pull you aside and tell you to huddle close to the ground if you're ever in a fire. Of course, for fire drills they just boot your ass out of the school and have you wait around for an hour swatting at insects, but somewhere in the lessons they do mention the danger of smoke.

 

So, I was hunched as I moved through the building, grabbing blazing hot debris, and moving it to the side. You have to make sure you don't let the heat take a sudden fresh flow of oxygen and turn it into a sudden back-draft or you could end up flash frying a family you meant to save.

 

I respect cops, but there's a reason it's the firefighters who have the title 'Bravest'.

 

I listened for the cries of help. There was one, to the left behind the debris I had moved. I slammed open the door and found a woman and her son huddled.

 

"Is this all of you?" I asked.

 

"My husband is out at a business meeting we came in town for," She nodded with as much calm as she could muster, "The window is blocked."

 

"Follow me, I'll lead you out…" I said grabbing her son and lifting him up, "Stay close, hunch down, and trust."

 

I took them out the way I came in, and noticed that while smoke was still everywhere, the flames were dying down. No doubt Arctic Fox's work from outside. When we got clear and outside, well she had seen better days.

 

I don't know if she needs moisture in the air for her powers, or naturally creates it, but either way the normally sensational looking woman looked like a wash cloth that had been twisted and squeezed of contents one too many times.

 

"You okay, Fox?" I asked through dry lips, aware that I was probably not looking or smelling too good myself.

 

"I'm beautiful, well off, and have superpowers; No complaints. You look like crap though," She retorted but smiled a bit.

 

"You two run to the…" but the mother was already grabbing her son from my arms and racing across the street. Smart woman, "Get an EMT to check you out for smoke inhalation!" I called after!

 

"Thank you, Fish Guy!" The boy yelled as they moved.

 

You know what? Even with the wrong label, I'm not going to argue one of the sincerer thanks I've gotten.

 

"Where is the Fire Department?" I asked her, probably not for the first time.

 

"The truck is pinned and trapped at Dixon Bridge, but another one is on its way," She said, then called out, "Valorous?"

 

Valorous set down two people. Out of all of us, he probably looked the freshest, but there was no doubt he wasn't slacking. He'd gotten more people than I had.

And mentioned it, "So, that's nine so far for me, and seven for Eel, is that right?" He asked.

 

"Yes, good work," I said, "I think everyone else got out safely on their own accord, the manager said it almost everyone else was out for lunch or a convention and…" and I glanced over at a building across the street. After my encounter with Bloodwatch, I was a bit skittish about potential snipers. But no, whoever it was it wasn't a sniper. Though depending on your view of the Fourth Estate, they might be a vulture. It was a camera man, filming all we were doing from a ledge on one of the upper floors.

 

"We've got a fan," I said to the other two, "Or at least a guy from one of the stations."

 

"Moron's going to get himself killed," Valorous muttered.

 

"I am not doing an interview with my hair like this, " Fox said as she turned to see for herself.

 

That's when the camera man got dizzy or just mistepped, and fell over the ledge.

 

I'd like to say that I immediately leaped up and caught the camera guy in a spectacular move and brought him to a safe landing. I wouldn't mind a story in which Arctic Fox created a small hill of snow below the man so he'd land softly. Heck, I would have even tolerated Valorous launching himself into the air and doing what super strong fliers do!

 

But the truth is, none of us had a chance!

 

Valorous was only fifteen feet towards the guy , and I was just tensing with poor Fox's powers sputtering from being played out when a spray of… gunk, some sort of ooze shot down from the roof. It was nasty looking, like blue snot extending and weaving to catch the guy. I looked for the source of the azure ooze, maybe some gunk gun wielded by a chemical wizard. But there wasn't one. The slime had tethered part of itself to the roof and the rest just stretched on down and snared the camera man before he had fallen even a full teen feet. It lowered him down, down down; it's upper end somehow sticking to the surface of the walls like gum as it went down at a slower rate than it's lower part closer to the ground.

 

The Cameraman was screaming the entire way, but honestly, there was a surprising about of tenderness if the motion of the slime. It was rocking him down with no more force than a father setting an infant down in the crib.

 

"Xeno Fourteen," Valorous said with both disgust and interest, "I heard about it, but never got to see it."

 

"Yeah, that's what the government boys call it," Fox made a 'yuck' face, "Most of us just call it Slime. I mean, it's a terrible name, but… there you go."

 

I had to admit, I was a bit grossed out myself. It looked like the love child of anti-Freeze and blueberry gum that a snail had crossed over. I took a moment, then asked, "What, that's the other Independent?"

 

"Yes, it's an alien, keeps to itself mostly," She said, "It's intelligent, and goes about rescuing people, as you can see."

 

Now released from Slime, the Camera man ran off screaming, leaving his camera behind him. Slime itself had dropped into pulsating mass near the camera and was poking at it with a thin tendril it had constructed.  It was playing the footage back? Slime's exact size was hard to measure, it had shifted so much in the brief rescue going along across as far as thirty feet one moment, and now looking more like a four-foot-tall pile of…itself.

 

"We're not doing this," I said rubbing at my eyes, "I don't care what it looks like, I am not being a narrow-minded jerk twice in one day."

 

"What are you talking… " Fox was saying as I walked up to Slime with my hand extended, "About?"

 

"Hi," I said, "I'm called Eel. I'm with the New Samaritans, and we're trying to spread a warning to other heroes…" I swallowed a bit trying not to be grossed out as Slime took that moment to form a bubble in its surface that pulsated grotesquely, "Like you, about a coming threat."

 

The bubble popped. It smelled a bit like sulfur.

 

"Oh gawd," I heard Arctic Fox say.

 

Slime then curled about me, surrounding  up to my legs in a ring made of itself up to my thighs, though it never touched me.

 

I held perfectly still, feeling both grossed out and nervous, while I still had my hand out, "Klaatu, Barada, Nikto?"

 

Streams of smaller bubbles danced along its surface at that, though mercifully they didn't break. The creature pulled itself together in front of instead of around me, now resembling a half-melted snow man in shape, sans hat or other decorations. It formed a pseudo-pod and took my hand, enveloping my digits in its own semi-liquid mitt.

 

Then it pumped my arm up and down. It was like giving a handshake to a very enthusiastic pool of mud.

 

"Do you, speak English?" I said hopefully.

 

It broke contact, and fell back, and splattered flat, almost a perfect square against the ground and lay still.

 

"What did you do to it?" Arctic Fox demanded, "Lady Obsidian says this guy is a true hero, if you hurt it."

 

"Nothing! I just asked if it could speak Eng…" Then before I finished the words, the patterns on slime took shape.

 

MANY YEARS AGO  in a SOLAR SYSTEM FAR FAR AWAY…

 

Words scrolled along its surface, lighter spots of blue along the darker patterns… it was shifting itself to resemble font!

 

A GROUP OF ALIENS WERE IN A TRANSPORT SHIP AWAITING TRIAL FOR CRIMES OF RESISTING A CRUEL EMPIRE! AN EMPIRE THAT HAD THUS FAR, NO INKLING OF A SMALL RIMWARD PLANET …. KNOWN AS Earth…

 

"Cool," I couldn't help but smile as the words at the top of it's…torso? Screen? Thinned and departed to make room for the next bit of explanation.

 

The Prisoners were not all good people, but the EMPIRE was WORSE and they realized their one chance to get away was to unite in a break away attempt! Working together, they slipped their restraints, and tried to seize the ship!

I found myself craving popcorn

 

ALAS ALACK! The prisoners achieved their goal, but not before a signal was sent to warn the EMPIRE and sent three Hunter Ships in pursuit. The small transport shuttle had no chance to fight, and would not be able to outrun them!

 

"What's he saying?" Fox said moving closer.

 

"Shhh," I said, "This is getting good."

 

One of the prisoners, a former smuggler, had heard rumor of a wormhole, one that would lead to the most primitive reaches of space! AND perhaps, even take the shuttle out of range of the transponder being detected! They ran! Calculations rushed! Probability of success dubious!

 

"Never tell me the probability," I muttered really wishing I had that popcorn now.

 

"What are you twelve?" Fox muttered.

 

"Actually, this is kind of cool," Valorous had approached.

 

Upon discovery that her boyfriend was also …. You know, a guy, she rolled her eyes before watching the rest play out.

 

FREEDOM OR DEATH!! And they plunged into the Wormhole! The shuttle was not made for such transit, and only the slimmest of fortune or perhaps some greater spiritual being could account for the survival of most of those from the wreck!

 

I winced, that meant some of them had died. I knew were real people, albeit from outer space, but part of me wondered what kind of people were they? Was one of them a lovable wise cracking comedian of the group? Or the noble silent strong sort? Maybe a wise old mentor had? Probably a wise old mentor.

 

 

They were lost in a strange world, of savages, some of the primitives were good, some were bad, most were scared by those different from them. THEN Your Government came, men wearing uniforms and the mark of The Eagle's Eye.

 

"Operation Eagle Eye handles Aliens?" I said to Fox , "I thought they handled superhumans?"

 

"According to Lady Obsidian," Fox said, "Those guys will handle anything super period. They'll try to seize a superhero's tech in the name of national security. Maybe once they were more like a national guard who backed up supers, but now they seem to see everyone with powers they don't have influence over as a threat."

 

Valorous shook his head, "Surely they have better things to do now that pester the New Samaritans? There are real villains out there."

 

 Operation Eagle Eye captured a few, took them away, but one of what they would call Xenos prevented them from gaining the shuttle itself, making sure the last of its travel tech was handed off to one of the few Earthlings it found it could trust. Others have gone their own way, but this is my home now… and I will fight for it.

 

The scrolling effect stopped.

 

"Awesome," I said, suddenly Slime didn't seem so gross anymore. A thought occurred, "Do you mind being called Slime or is there another word you'd prefer?"

 

Slime is fine! It said, I did not always know how to speak in text, but even with this way of communication? You couldn't pronounce it.

 

 

"Yeah, uhm… " I took a deep breath, "Let me fill you in on what's going down." It was my turn to give a far less amazing story summary to the guy, a story of the Eldest, undersea races, and a danger to this very plane of existence.

[BoloOfEarth]

Another great entry.  (And after reading steriaca's stuff, I've come to realize that some bad grammar and typos can be overlooked in the pursuit of good stuff.) 

 

I like Slime's method of communication.  Neat concept for a truly alien character.

 

FYI, you're well over 50,000 words, and clocking in at 88 pages.    So in terms of both quantity and quality, great work.

[Hermit]

Another great entry.  (And after reading steriaca's stuff, I've come to realize that some bad grammar and typos can be overlooked in the pursuit of good stuff.) 

 

I like Slime's method of communication.  Neat concept for a truly alien character.

 

FYI, you're well over 50,000 words, and clocking in at 88 pages.    So in terms of both quantity and quality, great work.

 

Yup. I'm tempted to see if Camp Nanowrimo is going this month and just jump in on the last three days with this

 

And thank you for the kind words

[csyphrett]

Yup. I'm tempted to see if Camp Nanowrimo is going this month and just jump in on the last three days with this

 

And thank you for the kind words

It is and I am 27 k down. The deadline is Sun.

CES 

[aylwin13]

This installment was once again great. And another interesting character introduced. In my mind's eye he/she/it looks awesome. Can't wait for the artwork. 

[Hermit]

It is and I am 27 k down. The deadline is Sun.

CES 

Okay, first thank you for the information.

Sympathies for your being behind.

I've been in the hole like that before, it's not a happy place to be.

 

This installment was once again great. And another interesting character introduced. In my mind's eye he/she/it looks awesome. Can't wait for the artwork. 

 

Thank you,you know, maybe if I try to sell this as a book (after I get the darn thing edited from hell) I'll hire a professional artist to do some art for the team for a cover or something.

[Hermit]

Some times you have that 'oh why didn't I think of that earlier' moment. It happens to superheroes, and writers.

 

You know, as gross goes, it's all in the eye of the beholder sometimes. While Slime didn't seem as gross as before, he was still somewhat disgusting. Turned out, he found a lot of life forms on Earth less than aesthetically pleasing himself. He had met humanoids before on the transport shuttle, but to this day he found rigid life forms 'built wrong' and 'kind of disturbing'. He confessed further he couldn't  stand to watch us eat.

 

His reaction to the news of the mystical threat was one of alarm and gratitude. He hadn't realized there were branches of humanity that were water breathers at all let alone that many nations of them. Slime had some encounters with mystical types, but it was hardly his forte. Still, he would do his part, and he would be on guard.

 

"Okay, you know, I liked him, I'm surprised Slime hasn't been invited to the team himself," I told Arctic Fox when I thought Valorous couldn't overhear.

 

"Eww," She said, "Of course you want it on the team. It makes your name look good in comparison."

 

I must have shot her a look because she shrugged, "Fine, Slime gets the job done, but as far as I know he or it or whatever insists on keeping to his own most of the time. Think of it from his perspective? Would you want to be around a group of people who grossed you out half the time?"

 

I shrugged, not able to argue with that one, "So who's next?"

 

"This one, you know, at least on TV," She said with a sad sort of shake to her head, "Assuming you've watched at least the local stations for things beyond news. Ever hear of Viewpoint?"

 

"More like pay per viewpoint," Valorous snorted above us.

 

She smiled at that, then returned her gaze to me. 

 

I racked my brain, "Wait, the guy selling hamburgers?"

 

"And Floor wax and designer sneakers, and more yes," Arctic Fox said, "I mean, I guess we can't complain too much. We do make some money on our own images, but Viewpoint takes it to a whole different level."

 

Viewpoint's commercials were not filmed before a live studio audience. Still, we had no trouble getting on the set. Most people at least look up at superheroes, but when we landed, while a few guys checked out Arctic Fox, and some slight glances went Valorous' and my own way, it was as if this sort of thing was normal.

 

Then again, I guess costumes were all part of the show.

 

Viewpoint looked like he spent a lot of time tanning. His predominant colors were gold and black, and he had a lot of chest showing which, every now and then, someone would come up and dab more oil on, then the camera would roll again. It looked like he spent as much money on hair care as some people did rent because he had a truly magnificent coif over a pair of designer shades.

 

A signal to roll em was made, and Viewpoint's scene began. He walked into the fast food restaurant set up, and it looked like it had a party going already, which only cranked up when he came in on the stage. All the fast food workers were attractive and young, with their uniforms touched up in ways I'm sure the real chain would frown on. Music played, and customers, most of them attractive as well, seemed to be dancing with Viewpoint and their food as he swayed and boogied on in!

 

That's when the bad guys stormed in, well, the actors playing the bad guys. One of them had a blue make up job to make him look iced up with a lot of cheesy gold chains, and the other was an exceptionally short guy with a mean expression and some kind of parody army uniform.

 

"The Party's over for you and Meaty Minstrel, Viewpoint!" The frozen looking guy appeared, and they hit the dry ice machine to have a cold frost seem to form around him.

 

"Yeah! We're shutting this place down and forcing them to go to Generic Burger town!" The short guy concurred announcing their villainous plan.

 

"Frozen Flava! Sgt Small Portions!" Viewpoint said, "Man, you guys have ruined every fast food burger place in town except Meaty Minstrel!" He turned the camera with a burger in his hand, "The Merry Meat that's the DJ of your belly party!"

 

I exchanged a look with Valorous, and both of us were saying the same thing 'DJ of your belly party?'

 

"And that's right, VP!" Frozen Flava announced, "And now we're going to make you conform to our money saving standards!!" And cold fog billowed forth even as Sgt. Small Portions drew forth a gun and made firing motions which I assumed they'd fill in witch cheap CGI effects later.

 

Viewpoint lowered his shades, and his eyes glowed brightly, washing the two in beams like headlights. While harmless, it was clear this wasn't a special effect. Viewpoint's eyes really were producing the golden energy.

 

And he said his lines, "Meaty Minstrel never re-freezes it's food, Frozen Flava, you fool! That's why it's poppin fresh in any of the twenty four hours of service! And forget it, Sarge! The portions are always enough to make any man proud…" He lowered his shades while the two 'villains' pretended to be laid out by his 'blast', then looked towards the camera with a much softer sparkle in his eye, "Yet pleasing to the ladies."

 

"Viewpoint, you've done it again!" One buxom 'manager' for the restaurant exclaimed!

 

"No, Baby! Meaty Minstrel does it, every time, every meal!! That's MY Viewpoint!" He announced.

 

Everyone cheered and the party scene started up again for about five seconds, when the director said, "Cut, and we're good."

The 'party' died right there and the various actors and actresses scattered. I thought I heard the guy who played Frozen Flava muttering to himself 'I am not a disgrace to the black community. I am not a disgrace to the black community…I don't care what mama says'.

 

Where the 'manager' lady turned, "We need more stick em, I almost popped out and ruined the shot…"

 

"Ahem," Arctic Fox said to Viewpoint, "VP, got a moment?"

 

Only now did the director seem to notice us, casting an eye upon the three of us, "Delish, we could use you…"

"Thanks, but I'm not interested," Fox said.

 

The director made a shoo fly don't bother me motion at her, "Not you, him… the Fish Guy. Nice abs, broad chest" He made a twirling motion, "Could you turn around for a moment?" as he strove to get, I presume, a look at my ass.

 

"No," I said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, "No. I could not."

 

"Oh come on, we've got a fillet spot you could really help on…" He said.

 

Arctic Fox looked torn between being offended at being passed up for me, and tickled at my response, instead she dropped a snowball on the guy's head, "No means no, even in showbiz." The director sputtered, and for a moment I worried he was going to order us off the set.

 

Viewpoint was apparently already on the case rushing between us and his director, "Superhero business, Marteen, I'll handle it." He moved the three of us along, "Could you not go out of your way to antagonize my director? I don't need to lose a sponsor."

 

"Like you're starving for sponsors," She said with a sigh, "Look, all heroes, even… you, need to be filled in on a major threat to the city."

 

"A man's got to make a living," he said, "So don't get up in my grill about this."

 

"Apparently I'm going to have t-shirts so I guess I can't throw any stones," I said.

 

"See, Fish Guy here knows what's up," Viewpoint flashed a Hollywood style smile at me.

 

"I prefer Eel," I corrected.

 

"Ooooo," He sucked in some breath as if he had seen an unfortunate accident it was too late to do anything about, "Eel huh?"

 

"I warned him, but he's stuck on the name," Arctic Fox said.

 

"You should get an agent to help you with these career choices, man," Viewpoint advised me.

 

"It's not a career, it's a calling and…I like Eel, okay?" I grumbled.

 

"Say what you want about Eel's name," Valorous said, "But at least he doesn't sell his patrol routes and priority listing for protection to the highest bidders." Valorous didn't hide his disdain for the practice.

 

"Wait, you do that?" I said trying to keep my own face from sneering. Superheroes I respect, Super Mercenaries? Not as much.

 

"Hey, you don't know me," Viewpoint said, "I've got family with health problems, I've got relations hoping for college. I grew up on mean streets and I don't apologize for working my way up."

 

"You were born in nice safe suburbs and your parents are doing fine." Valorous corrected the record, "And you're a single child."

 

"How the… fine, fine," He sighed, "Someone keeps messing up my wiki bio with facts, I see. Yeah yeah, We all know the reason Lady O has her nose up in the air because of my lifestyle, what's her majesty want?"

 

"Respect would be good," I said, a warning tone escaping me. I mean, in fairness, I knew the woman by reputation, but what I had learned, I had gained admiration for, and besides, you don't talk crap about your elders especially when they saved the city several times when you were in diapers.

 

"Ease up," Viewpoint said, "Sheesh, you're as bad as Pinprick. So, are you going to tell me the news or not?"

 

I bit down on my earlier tone and explained to him just what was going on. Finishing with, "In the commercials, you have X-Ray vision and telescopic stuff, not just blasts, right?"

 

"All real," he grinned, "These eyes have over a dozen different settings, and I see what you're suggesting. I hang near the shore, check out the babes, pretend to be whale watching and give you guys a heads up. Yeah, I can kill a few hours doing that. But what's in it for me?"

 

Fox smiled at him, "I don't leave ice ramps thawing all over your next five shoots by 'accident'"

 

"Whoa, threats to my livelihood?" He exclaimed.

 

"If you start demanding green from us, don't be surprised when I think of ways to cut the budget," Her amber eyes narrowed, and she poked him in the chest, "And don't think I didn't notice the veiled jab at myself and Pinprick with that Frozen Flava and Sgt. Small Portions stuff!"

 

"Complete coincidence!" He assured.

 

"Uh huh," She said, "Fine, it better be. You willing to help or not?"

 

"Fine, fine," He said, "geez, everyone in this job is so uptight."

 

"It's not a job it's a …" I blinked, "Whales."

 

"It's whales?" Valorous said.

 

"They didn't catch Whale Guy," I pointed out to Fox and Valorous.

 

"Enough about Whale Guy," Fox groaned.

 

"Who the hell is Whale Guy?" Viewpoint asked.

 

"His sidekick, kind of," Valorous shrugged.

 

"He's a gray whale, and my point is, they're rounding up marine life… to make sea beasts they need whales or other creatures… right? They still need some. So we shouldn't just be guarding the shores," I said, "We should find the largest group of whales close by and guard them!" I slapped Viewpoint on the shoulder, causing him to stagger a bit, "Thanks man, I think you helped me out already."

 

He rubbed at his shoulder, "Don't mention it."

 

"We're on whale guard now?" Arctic Fox said surprised.

 

"Do you have a better more likely lead?" I answered.

 

She did not.

[Hermit]

It may not look like it, but I'm trying to bring pieces of something resembling a plot together.

[DasBroot]

Just try and resist the temptation to make Whale Guy the actual avatar of the Eldest this entire time... who gives up on his plot for world destruction because scratch-ies are nice.

[pinecone]

Shoot...I was figuring he was aiming for Greys (whales that is) are aliens, and mystics, and Whale Guy! is the Archmage of earth...what? My meds? Oh yeah, I am out...huh....

[Hermit]

Okay, I promised at least a paragraph every day if I could so... well, I hammered a bit against ye olde wall of creative uncertainty and this is what finally came out. 

 

 

Lady Obsidian turned to me, "Well, that was the Marine Institute with their data.  Between them, Greenpeace, and the local navy base, we now have more information about the migration patterns and locations of whale schools than I ever wanted to know. Between that and some of the toys I've prepared, you're going to have a better chance than anyone alive to find the most likely target whales off the California coast for corruption and recruitment."

 

"Thanks," I said, tapping the wrist band she'd given me, "I know it may feel silly having the team focus on whale watching, but…" I shrugged, "It makes sense to me."

 

"I agree with you, believe it or not," She assured me, "But …before you swim off, bear with me a moment. I want to ask you to go over your story again. This time," She frowned, "I want you to focus on Valorous."

 

I paused, "Valorous? He was helpful in the fire, but other than that… mostly he just came along as we found the other Independents. I'm trying not to take the fact he wants my spot on the team personally… he seems nice," I hedged realizing I couldn't fully mask my dislike.

 

"Does he?" Lady Obsidian said, "What did he do when Arctic Fox and you arrived on the scene in the first place?"

 

"Took bad pictures of her," I shrugged.

 

"I know Fox, she's one of those lucky women who tends to be very photogenic. Bad how?"

 

I wondered where she was getting with this, "Way too close to her face…" And I told her what I could recall, about the eyeball shot, his comments throughout the Independent Hunt, reactions, and more. She raised a brow when I mentioned, sheepishly, his defense of Partials.

 

"You do know that I am not even a Partial, right?" One could almost hear an eyebrow raise.

 

"That's…different," I said, "You're Lady Obsidian," I blushed a bit, "Okay, I am already feeling guilty for coming across as an elitist snob, but honestly if you keep pursuing this I'm going to go fanboy mode and talk about how awesome you are and your genius is a superpower all its own."

 

"Best you don't," She did let gentle amusement leak through her tone letting me know she wasn't too mad, "Flattery makes me suspicious."

 

"You mean like how Valorous is always… " I paused, "yeah, I'm starting to see why you don't trust him."

 

"I've learned to heed my instincts, and with what you've told me? Some of my distrust is now on extremely high alert."

 

"What did I say to make you feel that way?" I asked.

 

"You don't trust him either," She reminded but I notice she didn't answer the question.

 

"Yeah, but you seem to know better why, I haven't gotten past 'somethings wrong with this jerk'," I informed her.

 

"We could chalk it up that super power of genius," She said using the term I'd picked before, "But in this case, let's attribute it to experience," Lady Obsidian tilted her head thoughtfully, "As it is, I still hope I'm wrong. Time will tell."

 

I frowned, "It seems like you have me spying on a fellow superhero, and I have to tell you, I'm not…comfortable with that."

 

"Oh, young man," She said with a tone of sympathy, "You think everyone who calls themselves a superhero is part of one large brotherhood of justice. No, Eel, not everyone who claims to act in justice's name really serves her. People do the most treacherous things in the name of the highest ideals. And not all masks are made of cloth metal or glass."

 

I frowned, "I know that, but…"

 

"Don't think of it as spying on him then," She said, "Think of it as protecting Arctic Fox when she is utterly helpless and can't see it coming."

 

 

I didn't like the idea of any team mate being used, and if Valorous wasn't on the up and up, then no doubt Fox would be devastated, and if he tried it I'd … I paused, "Ma'am, it feels like you're manipulating me."

 

 

"Yes," She nodded, "Yes I am. And if you ever end up leading this team or any other, you'll learn to do the same. Just, be honest with yourself and others on your team as much as you can while you do it. They won't thank you for it, mind. But it helps you know when you're crossing the lines you drew as a youth and reminds you they're people, not pawns."

 

 

"What's the point of having lines drawn if you're only going to cross them?" I stiffened, feeling, oddly disappointed in her, and maybe it showed, "There's right, and there's wrong, and the difference shouldn't be that hard to tell."  Part of me wondered if I had any right to take this attitude with her. She'd saved the nation more than once, maybe the world.

 

 

"I can't speak for others," She says, "But for me? After I've crossed them is when I need them most of all. If I'm going to kill an ideal I thought sacred, I need to be able to see when it fell, and find out why; pay the price for It, and be able to ask myself: If the situation were the same, would I do it again? We all cross a line sometime, as life goes on, Eel. If only to keep from crossing an even more important one. I hope your first time doesn't come too soon. It's never pleasant. But never assume a sign of your failure, even a crossed line, serves no purpose. I wish you gentle lessons but in this line of work, that's the last thing they're likely to be."

 

 

I frowned, and got the oddest idea I'd just been dismissed. I didn't care for the cargo I had been handed as I left.

[Hermit]

Naturally, as a rational being I know there is not a global conspiracy between women to keep men from growing complacent. They really do not have secret cabals set to keep our egos in check and some grand agenda. However, if fiction isn't a safe place to face our slightly sexist nightmares I don't know where is.

 

If the idea of superheroes on patrol, circling and circling the city streets just waiting for some supervillain to try something seems odd to you, imagine that, but with whales involved. Somedays being a "Fish Guy" is just down right surreal. There will never be a CSI: Atlantis TV show. Talk about too niche specific, likewise, I doubt that folks will be raving about that hit series "Halibut Street Blues" about aquatic cops just trying to keep the ocean safe for the public. 'Let's be careful out there' indeed.

 

But here I was, doing large looping circles around the whales. Gray whales, humpbacks, and heck, dolphins, and porpoises too. It was not unlike going from one neighborhood to another, if said neighborhoods were shifting location now and then. I was an outsider, but I was surprised at how friendly some of the creatures were. One Dolphin came very close to check me out, seemed to decide I was okay, and went back to snapping up fish.

 

I made a mental note not to get too fond of any of these guys. I had named Whale Guy and that had been a mistake because now I was worried for the big lug. I still hadn't spotted him on my patrols.

 

I rose to the surface where the communicator could work more easily, "How are things up there?" I asked.

 

"Boring," Tornado said, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I agree this is our best lead, but after the first hour, some of the wonder of whale watching wore off. After two? Gone entirely. At least when I'm flying over the streets I get to see the occasional pretty lady."

 

"You mean you never use those lenses to look on the shores for bikini wearing examples of nature?" I smiled.

 

"No comment," He answered.

 

Then, he surprised me, "Hey, Eel. I'm sorry. Maybe Fox had a point earlier and I was being a hypocrite.  About Ariana, you know?"

 

"It's understandable," I said, "We all feel protective of loved ones, particularly the ladies in our life. Being born in a more or less enlightened modern age only helps so much. We're still going to have trouble overcoming centuries of evolution and social conditioning, right?"

 

"True, but… I could try harder," Tornado confessed, "And you're a good guy. We've all seen that."

 

"Thanks," I said with a smile, then sobered, "And I do worry  her being with me might put her in danger."

 

"No more danger than she is in just having me for a relation or her own aspirations," Tornado said, "No, you're being nice, but I was wrong, and I apologize."

 

"Apology accepted, and I promise to treat her right as she and I see where it can go," I told him, "I'll take good care of her."

 

"Then you have permission to date my niece," Tornado said, waving at me from high above.

 

"That's accepted too…" I smiled.

 

"So… am I being sold for one cow and a few chickens, or are we going for the full two cows?" A voice broke through tersely over the com, "And so nice to know you'll take care of me as part of the trade."

 

"A..a..ariana?" I gulped. How could a man's throat go dry in a whole ocean of water?

 

"Ari!" Tornado said with exaggerated easy going warmth "We didn't know you were in on this communication! How nice of you to join us. I was just apologizing to your boyfriend."

 

"My boyfriend?" Ariana said coolly, calmly, "mmm he was in the running for the position, that was before I found out he was working angles."

 

"Now, Ariana, I didn't… that's not what I meant when I…" I flustered. My brain scrambled looking for an elegant way out of this without recrimination. Honest to god, at that moment if someone told me I could choose between this or escaping a deathtrap? I'd pick the death trap without a moment's hesitation, "I may have worded some of that wrongly."

 

"One date,"She said, "One date, and you talk to my uncle about permission?"

 

"Now to be fair, I granted it, he didn't ask," Tornado clarified, "He's a good man and…"

 

"I'm going to lose my temper," She said sounding pretty level, but increasingly strained, "I got on the com to help you patrol… I can use binoculars too. You know, despite being helpless and… you know what? I am losing my temper. I'm 'hanging up' before I become a Latina stereotype."

 

"If it makes you feel better," I said, "Traditionally any woman might be offended no matter what the heritage involved…"

 

"Thank you," Her voice went as frosty as Arctic Fox's blast, "That helps so much."

 

I winced, "Sorry?"

 

 

"Everything is clear here on the South beach area from shore view. Ariana OUT."

 

"Mabel, you didn't tell us she was on this channel," Tornado said a bit tersely. In a way, I was glad he was also annoyed, other wise I'd suspect he set this up.

"Well, I was going to get around to it, but when she came on, you two immediately began the most interesting conversation and, well, darling, I'm a lady. I try not to interrupt."

 

"Oh my god, Mabel does see use as her soap opera show," I muttered on the com.

 

"As sands through the hourglass, so to go the capes of our lives," Mabel purred, "And perhaps I do feel some sort of loyalty to the gender mmmm?"

"Sisters before misters?" I said.

 

"More like 'Other women friends before men acting like a donkey's rear end'," She replied, "Really, Tornado I expected this from," She tisked, "But Eel, I had such high hopes for you."

 

My teeth gnashed and I bit back a retort about her warranty.

 

I hoped some of the Eldest troops tried something soon. I really wanted to punch things.

[BoloOfEarth]

Maybe I'm just being a guy, but I'm not sure how anything he said to Tornado was "working angles."  He expressed concern for her and that his intentions toward her were good. 

 

Though I admit his comment at the end about women of any heritage was one of those moments he'd have been better off just keeping his mouth shut.

 

As to the entry from yesterday...

 

I'm guessing he's got enough of a sample of her voice, and now an up-close of her eye (and I'm now wondering if that was a normal smartphone)... all he needs is the password and he can access the device storage area or other top security areas.

 

Though to be fair, I didn't think anything at all about it until Lady Obsidian's conversation with Fish Guy.  If my suspicion is correct, it was nicely set up, Hermit.

[Hermit]

Maybe I'm just being a guy, but I'm not sure how anything he said to Tornado was "working angles."  He expressed concern for her and that his intentions toward her were good. 

 

Though I admit his comment at the end about women of any heritage was one of those moments he'd have been better off just keeping his mouth shut.

 

As to the entry from yesterday...

 

I'm guessing he's got enough of a sample of her voice, and now an up-close of her eye (and I'm now wondering if that was a normal smartphone)... all he needs is the password and he can access the device storage area or other top security areas.

 

Though to be fair, I didn't think anything at all about it until Lady Obsidian's conversation with Fish Guy.  If my suspicion is correct, it was nicely set up, Hermit.

I'll run the first part past a lady friend of mine. Her one request about Ariana was "Don't make her too neurotic. Blah" I think she really went blah , she may disagree, but she's tired of neurotic love interests

 

Adjustments maybe called for.

 

And glad I have folks wondering about you know, the things where the guy with the thing may or may not have done the thing.

[BoloOfEarth]

And glad I have folks wondering about you know, the things where the guy with the thing may or may not have done the thing.

 

Well, that's the mark of a good writer -- he makes people think about things, like that thing with the thing. 

[Hermit]

OKay, things got crazy today, but just to keep my one paragraph a day mandatory rule...Edit to this: Added a few more the day after.

 

If I wanted violence, I soon got my wish. I'd like to say it was my patrols that did it, but actually, the marine research institute had set up some cameras on some of the routes where the whales frequent. Just like Whale Guy, some humpbacks were streaking past at surprising speed as if fleeing the mother of all predators. It was the tip we needed. Hours of searching and then wham, the same cameras that allow school kids to stream live ocean life footage does the trick.

 

If they ever make a website that can punch, hold up buildings, and rescue cats I may become obsolete. Of course, that would be a noble crowd sourcing endeavor if ever there was one.

 

Even in the water I couldn't keep up with Tornado, but I'm proud to say I wasn't far behind. And Tornado might be able to plunge in for a quick strike, but fighting in the water? Not his thing. That said, I was glad for the company because there were eight warriors this time and they were fighting smarter and with more options. Two of them threw nets towards Tornado, and if it had hit, it might have wrapped him tight and taken him out of the fight before it began.

 

Fortunately, the man remained a weaving blur and managed to avoid the first one deftly. The second came closer but still didn't ensnare.

 

While they focused on him, I came in from the flank and knocked one for a loop. I had a better feel now for how much they could take, armor and all, and this time there was no compulsion from an evil spear to induce me to cutting loose. The fellow I hit was out, but he'd be fine when he woke up.

 

 

Then three of them got smart and coordinated, brandishing their spears, two covering for my counter attack while one thrust forward. The yahoo stabbed me in the shoulder. Yeah, reach is a pain in the ass, or in this case shoulder. It didn't go through me, but it went deep enough that when he yanked it out I could taste my own blood in the water.

 

I've never hunted for boar, but I do like history. If I remember right, back when folks boar hunted with spears, a group of men with spears would go at the mean pig who would gladly tear them to pieces. One or two would stab then fall back, and the angry boar would go after them, only to have the other guys who had been waiting impale him on his incoming charge.

 

I don't know what you've heard about education in the South, it has its problems, but I'd like to think a graduate of Pratt High, jokes aside, is smarter than a pig.

 

Instead of punching the next one, I slammed my hands together in, what surface side, would have been a thunderclap kind of move. In the water, there's more resistance, but when can hit like a pile driver, that's moot. There was an underwater boom and the resulting wave of force and water sent the water-breathing warriors back several feet and, more importantly, off balance.

 

I pressed the advantage, and swam to one, kicking him in the solar plexus, knocking the wind… pardon, water out of him. Nice to see some biological similarities that were useful in play.  I launched from that one to the next, and pulled the next one into a punch trying to knock him into the third.

 

It would, if it had worked, looked amazing and really sped up this fight. While the punch landed squarely in the second target's jaw and he did go back, he missed the third guy. Darn, I wish I'd done better on vectors in math class. Darn Mr. Snyder, he was right… I would too need math when I went out into the real world.

 

Well, if you can ever call the life of a superhero real.

 

The third warrior screamed "For the Eldest!" In the same tongue, I had learned thanks to Doctor Salem's spell and threw his spear at me. I twisted to the side, and while it was a narrow escape, the throw missed.

 

I told him what he could do with the Eldest with the spear in no uncertain terms and closed. He drew a knife and stabbed me as hard as he could. It didn't even break my skin. I backhanded him and turned to see where the others were.

 

Where were the other four?

 

I saw the water spout carrying them up on the air as Tornado spun it up higher and higher. Okay, my former whirl pool seemed less.

 

impressive now. This is how a pro did it. They didn't have a chance. They also couldn't breathe as the water siphoned out of the vortex.

 

Finally, when they all passed out, he let them drop.

 

"That," I said, "was amazing."

 

"Yeah," Tornado said with a smile and then arched down to catch something that was falling free, "And we even got a spear to..." His hand curled around the shaft of one of the damned weapons.

 

"Tornado! You've got to brace yourself for," I yelled alarmed.

 

"Shut.up." Tornado glared at me with rage in his eyes and began to curse  at me in Spanish. No doubt there was a threat about how if I ever hurt his Niece he'd gut me like a trout. The spear was powerful and it was negative and... he hefted it up, feeling the weight of it. If he threw that, at the speeds he was capable of, it would probably go clean through me. 

 

Then he let it drop instead, right into my hands, "I see what you mean," He said drawing in deep breaths, "Those things are wicked bad mojo. Sorry man, I may have insulted your mother."

 

"It's okay," I said, biting down on my own temper, "I know how these things get. Can you fish out the bodies, I'll get what spears I can?"

 

"Yeah, use some of their armor to create a little space between you and them though, okay? One of those things is bad enough," Tornado said

[Hermit]

mmm got a bit more in, added it to the above.

[BoloOfEarth]

Thank you.  That all went together well. 

 

My current Champions campaign had Cthulhu elements in an overarching backstory, and I've been building up to the heroes stopping a ritual to rescue some Old Ones who were trapped in another dimension millennia ago.  I may blatantly steal do an homage to your spears and Eldest idea.  (I wonder what will happen if the mystic with psychometric visions touches a captured spear...  heh, heh, heh...)

[Hermit]

For those of you still with us...well, THANK YOU... *Cough* I mean, here we see evil magics are a pain in the rump even when you mostly resist them

 

"You're bleeding," I realized a bit too late after putting the last spear into the tarp wrap we'd had ready on the shore, feeling like an idiot for not noticing it before. It looked like at least one shot with a spear had tagged Tornado.

 

"A gash," he said, shrugging it off, but I didn't like the look of it. It wasn't deep, true, but it was deep enough to cut and still awfully red and… it didn't look healthy.

"Yeah, well, you should get Doctor Salem to look into it," I told him with concern, "And you know Ariana is going to worry."

 

"She doesn't need to see this," He said, meaning the latter no doubt, "And she's not going to if you…"

 

"Hey," Ariana said approaching. She gave both of us stern looks. I suppose it was too much to hope that she'd forgive us for the overhead communication, "Everything okay?"

 

"See," Tornado whispered at me, "You jinxed it." Then he smiled at her, trying to keep his wounded thigh facing me instead of her, "I'm fine."

 

"You're lying," She scowled.

 

"Hey, it's not nice to accuse someone of lying," He protested.

 

"Even when they are lying?" She countered.

 

"Especially when they are lying," Tornado asserted, "Besides, you're mad at us, remember. You're supposed to be snubbing us, not fussing."

 

"I can do both," Ariana said trying to get a look at him.

 

He kept turning in little bursts to the side keeping the wound constantly juuuust out of sight.

 

"Stop that," She insisted.

 

"Stop what?" Tornado smirked.

 

I saw a chance to get a bit further out of the doghouse and took it, "It's a long gash on his upper left leg… it's shallow, but it doesn't look clean. I think Doctor Salem should take a look at it."

 

"Dude," Tornado shot me a glare, "Seriously?"

 

Ariana gave me an assessing look, but rewarded me, well, not with a smile, but less sternness then took advantage of Tornado stopping to look over her barely older Uncle's injury.

 

Now it was safe for me to shoot Tornado a smirk.

 

"He's right," Ariana said, "That looks bad. You're not healing as fast as usual."

 

"He got stabbed plenty and he's fine," Tornado countered, "or will be after a few more minutes in the water.'

 

"You're not him," Ariana said, "And we don't know how these 'blessed' objects work. Fly back to the base. I can give Eel a ride…we can deliver the spears."

 

"Uh huh, no way," Tornado said, "I do not want you near those things. They make you mean, flat out hateful. I only held one for a brief time and I got nasty."

 

She  rolled her eyes, "I figured that's why he was wrapping them up."

 

"Maybe I should just hoof it," I told them, "I mean, these things make you hateful and nasty and even distance…"

 

Arina walked over, and ran her fingers over the tarp, and frowned, "I see what you mean. I don't have the gift of the third eye or anything, but getting this close makes me want to chew you out. I mean, I wanted to before."

 

"right, so hoofing…" I began to say

 

"Don't be silly," She said, "We put them in the back trunk. Now go change in the car, I carried some sweats that would fit either one of you," She looked at Tornado, "Go to the base fast, okay? Now would be good."

 

Tornado sighed and was off.

 

There was indeed a pair of gray sweats that fit me, and soon enough I was dressed. I shoved the tarp back into the trunk, grumbling and then cleared my head.

 

"It's that quick, is it?" She said.

 

"Yes," I admitted as I slid into the vehicle's passenger side "And apparently, I'm now more resistant than before, not that it feels like it."

 

"Let's hope we don't hit a traffic jam," She said, "I might strangle you."

 

"Don't joke," I said with a frown, "I don't want to lose my cool and I worry I could hurt you."

 

She sighed, "Okay, do you know how patroni…" She caught herself, "No, not doing that. You have superpowers that are way off my scale and you are not saying I'm weak, you're worried you are… in the noggin."

 

"Kind of," I smirked, "Not how I would word it. So how do we keep anger from leading to hate, and hate leading to movie quotes?"

 

"We…" Ariana thought about it, "Agree we only speak in compliments and we're always polite."

 

"You're kidding, "I said.

 

"You mean to say 'pardon me, but you're kidding', " She corrected, "And I'm not. You agree to try it?"

 

"Sure," I said, "You start the compliments first though," then I added, "Please."

 

"Fine, you're very brave, and you clearly care," She said.

 

"And?" I shouldn't have been flip, but already those spears were pinging at me, even from here.

"And it's your turn," She replied a touch of irritation in her tone.

 

I was just trying to lighten the mood, geez, "Okay, you're beautiful…" I said to her braying, well, it felt like braying with the dark magics of the spears nipping at my ego.

 

"Oh, is that all?" She snorted.

 

"I'm sorry," I glared, "Don't you mean 'thank you'?" She couldn't even follow her own rules!

 

She grit her teeth, "Thank you…so much."

 

"You're welcome," I snapped, "And yes, the spears are getting to me. I really want to tell you off right to your beautiful face."

 

"Yeah, well, it's a good thing you're so nice and kind of hot, or I'd pop you one," She was pissed, "I was mad at you before this."

 

"Yeah, I know," I rolled my eyes, then corrected, because she clearly hadn't been listening when I said these things would do that to us, "I mean you're very forthright, and I'm sorry I was worried about your life being endangered by knowing me and then I had the nerve to say I'd take care of you even though you're an amazing woman who any guy would want to protect."

 

"Thank you for recognizing your well-intentioned chauvinism," She mouthed off to me, "You don't smell like bad tuna at all!"

 

"That's a compliment?" I blinked, then bit down, "Beg Pardon, but was that a compliment? You're normally so good at making your wishes known."

 

"Well, I'm trying," She said, "Evil spears in the back, you heroic lifesaving meathead," She took the next corner hard.

 

"Thank you for trying, you smooth tongued harpy you!" I shot back.

 

"You're welcome!" She said, "I can't believe how much I want to kick your firm and masculine ass!"

 

"Please stop, you're making me blush! And if I may say, mad as I am, I STILL want to know you better, you interesting and good hearted shrew," I had to process everything from my raging thoughts into something kind of nicer, but the filter was really flubbing it.

 

"Well, you'll probably get your chance, because maybe I do have a thing for heroes, and maybe I still like you even if you and my Uncle were talking about me like I was a trading commodity on a stock room floor," She snorted and hit stop. I realized we'd driven around to a well concealed service road into the mall/base.

 

"Well, gorgeous," I said, "Thank you, because right now I kind of hate myself almost as much as you do. I hate screwing up with someone I like because I want them to like me back. I'm immature like that," I told her, "Now get away, because I have to cart eight rage fueled cursed objects to Dr. Salem!"

 

"No, no, thank you! And I have to go check on my idiot uncle and see if that weird wound has been tended properly while I contemplate how unhealthy this whole conversation has been! It's been a unique experience you…" And she switched to Spanish.

 

"Spanish is cheating" I said getting out of the car to get the stuff from the back.

 

She flipped me off, said more things in Spanish, and went on into the mall.

 

 

"Damn, this is messed up," I snarled to the air as I grabbed the tarp and followed.

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Every couples counselor in the world needs one of  those spears.

[Kaeto]

That was . . . Interesting to say the least.

[Lucius]

 

Spearfishing for compliments

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary suggests countering the cursed spears with a ritual employing aromatic herbs and fertility symbols, although such a procedure would be admittedly an egg-spear-a-mint

[Kaeto]

*Beats the Palindromedary to death with a Olive Loaf.*

[BoloOfEarth]

The palindromedary suggests countering the cursed spears with a ritual employing aromatic herbs and fertility symbols, although such a procedure would be admittedly an egg-spear-a-mint

 

You could always write a story about mentalist talking trees having a petty quarrel.  That would at least be psi-ent-tiff-fic.