archer

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!
 
The Paladin: You have my sword!
 
The Elf: And my bow!
 
The Dwarf: And my axe!
 
The Necromancer: And your father!

I'm not sure if I've got any ideas which are particularly original but...
 
You could limit the active points of magical attacks so that they aren't any more effective than an arrow and allow hit locations for both regular attacks and magic. That'd push the players away from magic offense except for those who might want to try for extremely high accuracy magical attacks or who just want particular special effects.
 
Require extra time and immobile focus (such as a written pentagram) for most non-combat magics. Make it plain that magic isn't casually used by making it difficult or impossible to use magic casually. You could also require expensive spell components which, while not unique, are rare enough that players will have to quest to obtain them and will dread the day when they might lose them.
 
Many low fantasy settings in fiction seem to have followed a previous historical period when the world was a high fantasy setting and magic was much more powerful and prevalent. You could build story arcs in the campaign around trying to find out how to build more powerful magical items than the cantrip-type which are all the most powerful magicians today can manage. Or at least figure out why people today cannot manage the feats of magic which seemed to be more common in centuries past.
 
 
As for low-powered, subtle magic for NPC's, divine magic might focus on empowering groups of devout followers (a Blessing spell whether for combat or to increase the skill of farmers and craftsmen). Speaking to the deity. Healing wounds and diseases of believers. Increasing the PRE and Oratory of priests. Increasing the lifespan of the most powerful priests.
 
Most of the powers of the priests would be manifest from the influence they have over their followers rather than through the raw divine magic which they channel. Rulers would listen to the counsel of priests as much because of the power they have over the mob as because the ruler respects the mob.
 
And priests might literally be the power behind some thrones as the current high priest was the high priest in the days of the ruler's great-grandfather and taught the grandfather, the father, the ruler himself, and all of his siblings and children.

Your responses to me came across as aggressively rude even as I continued with polite conversation.
 
If you want polite conversation, try to be an ass deliberately.

https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/515396-colorado-school-suspends-12-year-old-called-police-for-welfare
 
A twelve year old seventh-grader with ADHD is learning at home in a virtual classroom. He owns a very obviously plastic toy gun with a green barrel and orange tip with the words "Zombie Killer" printed on it in large white lettering. 
 
At one point during the school day, he picks up his toy, fiddles around with it, and the toy is visible onscreen momentarily. 
 
The teacher sees the toy gun and notifies the principle. The school had been secretly recording classrooms and caught the incident on video. Rather than looking at the video and dealing with the matter internally or contacting the parents, the principle notifies the police.  (In the police report, the teacher is quoted as saying that she assumed it was a toy gun but was not certain. In the video which the parents eventually got to see, the green barreled and orange tipped gun with the words on the side is visible. The school refuses to give a copy of the tape to the parents or the media.)
 
Anyway, back to the story. The principle requests that the police go to the student's home and check out the student's home environment.
 
The police go to the kid's home and the parents find out about the "incident" from the police rather than the school. The police threaten the student with arrest as if he had shown up to the school with a gun (real or fake) and threatened to shoot people.
 
The school suspended the student for five days.
 
Okay, everyone still with me? So far, so good?
 
The kid and his family are black.
 
The school admits no wrong-doing and insist that the handling of the incident had nothing to do with the student's race or the fact that the kid is more of a pain in the butt than most because he has ADHD (which doesn't make him an easy student to teach in a distance-learning environment).
 
The school has also announced that it would no longer be secretly or openly recording classes, also without admitting that the secretly taping classrooms was in any way inappropriate.
 
I am highly skeptical that discrimination had absolutely no role in what happened. At the very least, the parents are moving the kid to a different school district. That's something the school would know would happen if they harassed the family. That particular school and the district in general won't have that student dragging down standardized test scores and won't have to put up with a kid who has ADHD.
 
I've got a niece and nephew live in Colorado within 20 miles of this school district. He's a teacher who has taught in several school districts in that area over the last 16 years. My niece is Hispanic. They have three kids of their own and two Hispanic foster kids.  One of their kids is a high IQ ADHD problem student. One of the foster kids has severe behavioral issues but my family hasn't won the fights necessary to get the school district to test and diagnose exactly what that girl's problem is and the foster system apparently won't pay for that kind of testing.
 
Colorado doesn't seem to have many state laws, at least which are enforced, which make school districts attempt to give problem students a decent education. Their family has had to fight like hell and switch schools and school districts several times in order to find a school which will attempt to deal with educating their problem kid (and that with my nephew often being a teacher in that school district) and has had to repeat those fights to get their foster girl educated.
 
Their kids have also faced discrimination and bigotry for being Hispanic (sometimes from other students and sometimes more subtly from teachers and administration).
 
I guess I'm just frustrated. The school calling the police to go harass a black family in THIS environment? And harassing that black family's kid who has a neurological disorder?
 
Like HELL the school district isn't treating this kid differently because he's black and has ADHD. Where's my "really ticked off" emoji?

On the bright side, they can take their winnings and buy $27 dollars worth of scratchers.

The input is appreciated. I hear you but disagree.
 
I started with a simple question with simplistic examples, see if there was anything RAW I missed regarding doubling up.  
 
Anything past RAW is on me, but I’m amazed at the depth and effort taken after that. Assumptions as to my experience, even a little unicorn. Which was pretty amusing actually. the statement regarding my waiting and waiting for an answer seemed a little like a threat as well
 
so not personal no. Just calling it like I see it. 
 
got my answer and my welcome. I’m leaving it at that. 

https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/515396-colorado-school-suspends-12-year-old-called-police-for-welfare
 
A twelve year old seventh-grader with ADHD is learning at home in a virtual classroom. He owns a very obviously plastic toy gun with a green barrel and orange tip with the words "Zombie Killer" printed on it in large white lettering. 
 
At one point during the school day, he picks up his toy, fiddles around with it, and the toy is visible onscreen momentarily. 
 
The teacher sees the toy gun and notifies the principle. The school had been secretly recording classrooms and caught the incident on video. Rather than looking at the video and dealing with the matter internally or contacting the parents, the principle notifies the police.  (In the police report, the teacher is quoted as saying that she assumed it was a toy gun but was not certain. In the video which the parents eventually got to see, the green barreled and orange tipped gun with the words on the side is visible. The school refuses to give a copy of the tape to the parents or the media.)
 
Anyway, back to the story. The principle requests that the police go to the student's home and check out the student's home environment.
 
The police go to the kid's home and the parents find out about the "incident" from the police rather than the school. The police threaten the student with arrest as if he had shown up to the school with a gun (real or fake) and threatened to shoot people.
 
The school suspended the student for five days.
 
Okay, everyone still with me? So far, so good?
 
The kid and his family are black.
 
The school admits no wrong-doing and insist that the handling of the incident had nothing to do with the student's race or the fact that the kid is more of a pain in the butt than most because he has ADHD (which doesn't make him an easy student to teach in a distance-learning environment).
 
The school has also announced that it would no longer be secretly or openly recording classes, also without admitting that the secretly taping classrooms was in any way inappropriate.
 
I am highly skeptical that discrimination had absolutely no role in what happened. At the very least, the parents are moving the kid to a different school district. That's something the school would know would happen if they harassed the family. That particular school and the district in general won't have that student dragging down standardized test scores and won't have to put up with a kid who has ADHD.
 
I've got a niece and nephew live in Colorado within 20 miles of this school district. He's a teacher who has taught in several school districts in that area over the last 16 years. My niece is Hispanic. They have three kids of their own and two Hispanic foster kids.  One of their kids is a high IQ ADHD problem student. One of the foster kids has severe behavioral issues but my family hasn't won the fights necessary to get the school district to test and diagnose exactly what that girl's problem is and the foster system apparently won't pay for that kind of testing.
 
Colorado doesn't seem to have many state laws, at least which are enforced, which make school districts attempt to give problem students a decent education. Their family has had to fight like hell and switch schools and school districts several times in order to find a school which will attempt to deal with educating their problem kid (and that with my nephew often being a teacher in that school district) and has had to repeat those fights to get their foster girl educated.
 
Their kids have also faced discrimination and bigotry for being Hispanic (sometimes from other students and sometimes more subtly from teachers and administration).
 
I guess I'm just frustrated. The school calling the police to go harass a black family in THIS environment? And harassing that black family's kid who has a neurological disorder?
 
Like HELL the school district isn't treating this kid differently because he's black and has ADHD. Where's my "really ticked off" emoji?

One magic item I created required the person to dress in one particular, very distinctive, and culturally inappropriate manner in order for the device to recharge. That caused a lot of fun for me and awkwardness for the party.
 
Fun and/or debilitating automatic side effects:
 
Lose enough STUN to be unconscious for a week
 
Concentrate to 0 DCV for everything you want to do. Also lose the ability to Dodge (which avoids confusion of how that would interact with concentrate).
 
Drain OCV/DCV
 
Sex change transformation
 
More or less permanent aging transformation
 
Long term Running drain
 
Distinctive appearance transformation - just how long does that nose grow anyway? (replace with anatomical part or parts of choice)
 
Animals automatically hate you. Horses refuse to be ridden. Dogs bark/attack. Skunks spray. When facing attacking wild animals, they treat you as a priority target. (This one is more fun attached to an object the adventurers find rather than a casting effect. Might take the party a while to figure out what's happening.)
 
Teleported straight up 50 meters to see if the caster can survive a fall. Or teleport in a random direction if you prefer and see if he survives materializing inside objects. Optionally you could just megascale teleport in a random direction in order to separate the caster from his friends, minions and other resources.
 
Transformed so you have a 1d6 HKA aura which affects everything you touch whether you want it to or not. (your food, clothing, armor, foci, weapons, saddle, girlfriend, furniture, bedroll, etc.) For more fun, a couple of times a day at random it could turn into a HKA area of effect.
 
Hemophilia. 
 
Narcolepsy.
 
Changes the hit location when people are attacking you so that each shot goes to the head (or most vulnerable area if head isn't available).
 
One of your valuable items disappears (or one of the party's items if the caster tries to give everything away first). GM choice as to whether it is disintegrated, displaced to another dimension, or teleported to someplace interesting (like your distinctive dagger placed into the back of someone important, your thieves tools into a treasury which has just been robbed, your diary to your ex-girlfriend, your clothing into the sultan's harem). If you use the extra-dimensional option, it could perhaps be a "named spell" where the caster is calling upon some higher power by name whether god, demon, or djinn and the players could someday discover what he's doing with all these random valuable items which he's been getting in exchange for lending out his power.
 
Transform/Shapeshift to change your appearance. Will friends, contacts, and your bank believe it's you when you're a female orc who can't even speak the common tongue rather than a Gandalf look-alike?
 
Why not just go full Babel? The caster loses the ability to read? The caster can't speak the commonly-used languages? The caster becomes a mute?
 
Amnesia would be very dangerous in many circumstances. Not remembering how to activate your magic items. Not remembering you can cast magic. Not knowing who are your friends and enemies. Not knowing how much you can trust your friends. Not knowing how to get to your hiding place. Not remembering how to get out of your hiding place. Not remembering where you hid the money. Not remembering the words which command your guard dogs. Not remembering how to get back to civilization, the oasis, etc.
 
Transformation: Skill Wipes. Some or all your skills disappear until the transformation wears off. No knowledge skills to help you do research. No weapons familiarity. No Transport Familiarity. 
 

I'm not a fan of low fantasy when compared to high fantasy.
 
But one of the tropes seen in low fantasy is that using magic exacts a cost and people who do use magic think and plan before using it.
 
You see them having to use meat shields while doing magic ceremonies. You see them die or be seriously wounded and forced to retreat when someone gets passed the meat shields. You see the opponents throwing a single dagger across the room and hitting the caster in a vital spot.
 
You see them spook animals because animals can sense the dark powers the person wields. 
 
You see them falling unconscious after casting.
 
You see them waking up weakened and unable to fight, sometimes unable to ride.
 
You see them having to stop their research and other activities to rest and recover. Is it only to rest and recover or is it because they're forced to stop for some other reason?
 
You see them casting magic in their strongholds and other safe places rather than out in the world where they're vulnerable.
 
If you don't find that fun, you don't have to play in games which follow any of the established tropes. There's certainly low fantasy worlds where casting magic doesn't exact any costs so casters don't have to think and plan before using any of it. 
 
It's certainly legit to pick and choose your games or communicate to the GM when you find something getting old really fast.
 
In the original post in this thread, the author specified that magic would be used mostly by NPC's and not the players. Having a magic system where players such as yourself wouldn't enjoy the burdens of casting magic is a drawback to the campaign. How much of a drawback? That probably depends on the playgroup.
 
 
 
Consider the classic superstition that a witch can't swim. If in a fantasy world where a witch really can't swim, then that lack of ability is obviously related to her magic. How would that work mechanically?
 
Create a suite of witch spells for the PC or NPC with the side effect that the witch gets -20" swimming and none of her movement spells can move her through water or keep her on the surface. Have it wear off after a certain period of time, maybe based on the active points of the spell and the time period be cumulative for all the spells the witch casts.
 
If the witch is casting spells all the time, she can probably never swim. If she isn't a practicing witch, she might be able to swim most of the time and could pass a casual "toss the potential witch into the river" test. That could even explain why some people in the campaign world think the idea that witches can't swim is just superstition rather than an established reality.
 
Viola! 
 
 

https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/515396-colorado-school-suspends-12-year-old-called-police-for-welfare
 
A twelve year old seventh-grader with ADHD is learning at home in a virtual classroom. He owns a very obviously plastic toy gun with a green barrel and orange tip with the words "Zombie Killer" printed on it in large white lettering. 
 
At one point during the school day, he picks up his toy, fiddles around with it, and the toy is visible onscreen momentarily. 
 
The teacher sees the toy gun and notifies the principle. The school had been secretly recording classrooms and caught the incident on video. Rather than looking at the video and dealing with the matter internally or contacting the parents, the principle notifies the police.  (In the police report, the teacher is quoted as saying that she assumed it was a toy gun but was not certain. In the video which the parents eventually got to see, the green barreled and orange tipped gun with the words on the side is visible. The school refuses to give a copy of the tape to the parents or the media.)
 
Anyway, back to the story. The principle requests that the police go to the student's home and check out the student's home environment.
 
The police go to the kid's home and the parents find out about the "incident" from the police rather than the school. The police threaten the student with arrest as if he had shown up to the school with a gun (real or fake) and threatened to shoot people.
 
The school suspended the student for five days.
 
Okay, everyone still with me? So far, so good?
 
The kid and his family are black.
 
The school admits no wrong-doing and insist that the handling of the incident had nothing to do with the student's race or the fact that the kid is more of a pain in the butt than most because he has ADHD (which doesn't make him an easy student to teach in a distance-learning environment).
 
The school has also announced that it would no longer be secretly or openly recording classes, also without admitting that the secretly taping classrooms was in any way inappropriate.
 
I am highly skeptical that discrimination had absolutely no role in what happened. At the very least, the parents are moving the kid to a different school district. That's something the school would know would happen if they harassed the family. That particular school and the district in general won't have that student dragging down standardized test scores and won't have to put up with a kid who has ADHD.
 
I've got a niece and nephew live in Colorado within 20 miles of this school district. He's a teacher who has taught in several school districts in that area over the last 16 years. My niece is Hispanic. They have three kids of their own and two Hispanic foster kids.  One of their kids is a high IQ ADHD problem student. One of the foster kids has severe behavioral issues but my family hasn't won the fights necessary to get the school district to test and diagnose exactly what that girl's problem is and the foster system apparently won't pay for that kind of testing.
 
Colorado doesn't seem to have many state laws, at least which are enforced, which make school districts attempt to give problem students a decent education. Their family has had to fight like hell and switch schools and school districts several times in order to find a school which will attempt to deal with educating their problem kid (and that with my nephew often being a teacher in that school district) and has had to repeat those fights to get their foster girl educated.
 
Their kids have also faced discrimination and bigotry for being Hispanic (sometimes from other students and sometimes more subtly from teachers and administration).
 
I guess I'm just frustrated. The school calling the police to go harass a black family in THIS environment? And harassing that black family's kid who has a neurological disorder?
 
Like HELL the school district isn't treating this kid differently because he's black and has ADHD. Where's my "really ticked off" emoji?

One magic item I created required the person to dress in one particular, very distinctive, and culturally inappropriate manner in order for the device to recharge. That caused a lot of fun for me and awkwardness for the party.
 
Fun and/or debilitating automatic side effects:
 
Lose enough STUN to be unconscious for a week
 
Concentrate to 0 DCV for everything you want to do. Also lose the ability to Dodge (which avoids confusion of how that would interact with concentrate).
 
Drain OCV/DCV
 
Sex change transformation
 
More or less permanent aging transformation
 
Long term Running drain
 
Distinctive appearance transformation - just how long does that nose grow anyway? (replace with anatomical part or parts of choice)
 
Animals automatically hate you. Horses refuse to be ridden. Dogs bark/attack. Skunks spray. When facing attacking wild animals, they treat you as a priority target. (This one is more fun attached to an object the adventurers find rather than a casting effect. Might take the party a while to figure out what's happening.)
 
Teleported straight up 50 meters to see if the caster can survive a fall. Or teleport in a random direction if you prefer and see if he survives materializing inside objects. Optionally you could just megascale teleport in a random direction in order to separate the caster from his friends, minions and other resources.
 
Transformed so you have a 1d6 HKA aura which affects everything you touch whether you want it to or not. (your food, clothing, armor, foci, weapons, saddle, girlfriend, furniture, bedroll, etc.) For more fun, a couple of times a day at random it could turn into a HKA area of effect.
 
Hemophilia. 
 
Narcolepsy.
 
Changes the hit location when people are attacking you so that each shot goes to the head (or most vulnerable area if head isn't available).
 
One of your valuable items disappears (or one of the party's items if the caster tries to give everything away first). GM choice as to whether it is disintegrated, displaced to another dimension, or teleported to someplace interesting (like your distinctive dagger placed into the back of someone important, your thieves tools into a treasury which has just been robbed, your diary to your ex-girlfriend, your clothing into the sultan's harem). If you use the extra-dimensional option, it could perhaps be a "named spell" where the caster is calling upon some higher power by name whether god, demon, or djinn and the players could someday discover what he's doing with all these random valuable items which he's been getting in exchange for lending out his power.
 
Transform/Shapeshift to change your appearance. Will friends, contacts, and your bank believe it's you when you're a female orc who can't even speak the common tongue rather than a Gandalf look-alike?
 
Why not just go full Babel? The caster loses the ability to read? The caster can't speak the commonly-used languages? The caster becomes a mute?
 
Amnesia would be very dangerous in many circumstances. Not remembering how to activate your magic items. Not remembering you can cast magic. Not knowing who are your friends and enemies. Not knowing how much you can trust your friends. Not knowing how to get to your hiding place. Not remembering how to get out of your hiding place. Not remembering where you hid the money. Not remembering the words which command your guard dogs. Not remembering how to get back to civilization, the oasis, etc.
 
Transformation: Skill Wipes. Some or all your skills disappear until the transformation wears off. No knowledge skills to help you do research. No weapons familiarity. No Transport Familiarity. 
 

I grew up in Reagan America. I was a registered Republican--a RINO in many cases--for the large majority of my adult life. I felt like I had no choice but to bail with the inauguration in 2016. It's not the party I grew up with. Or at least not the party I thought I grew up with.
 
At this point, my opinion of the Republican Party is best expressed by Kylo Ren: "Let it die. Kill it if you have to."

I miss the good old days when you could find tens of character adaptations. We have even a Doctor House for Hero System back then, but now the magic is gone.

I'm not sure if I've got any ideas which are particularly original but...
 
You could limit the active points of magical attacks so that they aren't any more effective than an arrow and allow hit locations for both regular attacks and magic. That'd push the players away from magic offense except for those who might want to try for extremely high accuracy magical attacks or who just want particular special effects.
 
Require extra time and immobile focus (such as a written pentagram) for most non-combat magics. Make it plain that magic isn't casually used by making it difficult or impossible to use magic casually. You could also require expensive spell components which, while not unique, are rare enough that players will have to quest to obtain them and will dread the day when they might lose them.
 
Many low fantasy settings in fiction seem to have followed a previous historical period when the world was a high fantasy setting and magic was much more powerful and prevalent. You could build story arcs in the campaign around trying to find out how to build more powerful magical items than the cantrip-type which are all the most powerful magicians today can manage. Or at least figure out why people today cannot manage the feats of magic which seemed to be more common in centuries past.
 
 
As for low-powered, subtle magic for NPC's, divine magic might focus on empowering groups of devout followers (a Blessing spell whether for combat or to increase the skill of farmers and craftsmen). Speaking to the deity. Healing wounds and diseases of believers. Increasing the PRE and Oratory of priests. Increasing the lifespan of the most powerful priests.
 
Most of the powers of the priests would be manifest from the influence they have over their followers rather than through the raw divine magic which they channel. Rulers would listen to the counsel of priests as much because of the power they have over the mob as because the ruler respects the mob.
 
And priests might literally be the power behind some thrones as the current high priest was the high priest in the days of the ruler's great-grandfather and taught the grandfather, the father, the ruler himself, and all of his siblings and children.

The wonders of an era with no internet conversations to fill up your time.

I don't care for this latest forum change where it randomly merges responses.
 
Personally I erase whichever comment I want in the thread the least. Then if I remember a few hours later, I repost whatever I erased to the thread.
 
I remember maybe 20% of the time.
 
 

I'm not sure if I've got any ideas which are particularly original but...
 
You could limit the active points of magical attacks so that they aren't any more effective than an arrow and allow hit locations for both regular attacks and magic. That'd push the players away from magic offense except for those who might want to try for extremely high accuracy magical attacks or who just want particular special effects.
 
Require extra time and immobile focus (such as a written pentagram) for most non-combat magics. Make it plain that magic isn't casually used by making it difficult or impossible to use magic casually. You could also require expensive spell components which, while not unique, are rare enough that players will have to quest to obtain them and will dread the day when they might lose them.
 
Many low fantasy settings in fiction seem to have followed a previous historical period when the world was a high fantasy setting and magic was much more powerful and prevalent. You could build story arcs in the campaign around trying to find out how to build more powerful magical items than the cantrip-type which are all the most powerful magicians today can manage. Or at least figure out why people today cannot manage the feats of magic which seemed to be more common in centuries past.
 
 
As for low-powered, subtle magic for NPC's, divine magic might focus on empowering groups of devout followers (a Blessing spell whether for combat or to increase the skill of farmers and craftsmen). Speaking to the deity. Healing wounds and diseases of believers. Increasing the PRE and Oratory of priests. Increasing the lifespan of the most powerful priests.
 
Most of the powers of the priests would be manifest from the influence they have over their followers rather than through the raw divine magic which they channel. Rulers would listen to the counsel of priests as much because of the power they have over the mob as because the ruler respects the mob.
 
And priests might literally be the power behind some thrones as the current high priest was the high priest in the days of the ruler's great-grandfather and taught the grandfather, the father, the ruler himself, and all of his siblings and children.

The legend lives on from the Apprentice on down
of the big oompaloompa called Donnie
The Donnie, it is said, always has some bed head
and he's friends with a loon named Giulani
With a MAGA flag load, 26,000 or more stowed, 
than that big, ole fat Trump boat weighed empty
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the polls of November vote truly
 
 
 
PS - think Gordon Lightfoot....

Many boats that deliberately ignored the speed limit/wake generation rules that were put there for their own safety. The metaphor is almost perfect. 

Both "losing a fight" and "when fight is lost" are very subjective and open to interpretation. I'd require the player to define both terms in specifics so that it isn't open to interpretation.
 
For example, I've done a character with Growth, extra CON, extra STUN, extra BODY, and Berserk that kicks in when he's the last person on his side who is still up and fighting. He turns into the typical comic book rage monster similar to the Living Colossus or the Sphinx from Marvel or The Monster from the Wild Cards universe. There's no ambiguity as to when the berserk kicks in.
 
If two out of your five teammates go down, are you losing the fight? What if they're arguably your most powerful teammates? What if two of yours are down but three of the opposing team are down?
 
If your character (or player) is overconfident, is the fight ever "lost" as long as he is up and fighting?
 
 
I'd also note that for a warrior species, if they all go berserk (attacks everyone around them at random) whenever they lose a fight, they'll likely wipe each other out every time they face a setback. So I'm not sure how they'd ever evolve into a warrior species, at least not one which can field organized units of fighters.
 

I asked my girlfriend what the most NSFW thing she could think of is.
 
She thought for a while before replying, "Probably standing on a swivel chair to change a light bulb that hasn't been turned off."
 

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!
 
The Paladin: You have my sword!
 
The Elf: And my bow!
 
The Dwarf: And my axe!
 
The Necromancer: And your father!

The wonders of an era with no internet conversations to fill up your time.

The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!
 
The Paladin: You have my sword!
 
The Elf: And my bow!
 
The Dwarf: And my axe!
 
The Necromancer: And your father!

...in a shark-filled pool while monkeys are flinging piranha at her.