What's the best way to conquer Canada?

[Hermit]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Well, the goodnews is that Scott Bennie is handling the 5th Ed version of Champions of the North, so those of us with questions on how, and why on the conquering of Canada are sure to get some good answers

[Marketeer]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I think the real question on how to conquer Canada starts with the reason for doing so. Canada is a great country and all, but if you are a meglomaniacal villain, you are going to go after the U.S. because there is more glory in ruling a bigger country.

 

Er... you do know that Canada has much more land mass than the States, right?

 

[Marketeer]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Seriously, if you want to conquer Canada, the easiest/best way I can see it happening is to turn that prodigious land mass and low population density against the country.

 

 

Many campaigns have a voracious alien race that is akin to the Aliens/Zerg/Brood/Tyrannids/whatever; Canada has a lot of open space with a lot of native organic life--IE, food and fodder to be assimilated into the organic horde.

 

In the US, wiping out such an invasive force would be "relatively" easy simply because you have less open unihabited space for the horde to fester and grow within. Likewise, Russia has a colder climate, which might be less friendly to the invaders.

 

So, by targeting the alien invader carefully, you have a good campaign reason why they attack Canada in particular--and why their initial level success will be higher than if they invade our southern neighbor.

[wagnern]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

1: Blame them for corupting american youth with off color humor and fart jokes.

 

. . .

[McManus]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Er... you do know that Canada has much more land mass than the States, right?

 

 

Foxbat says -

Who wants America? Canada is much larger. I will be King of the Frozen North!!!

[Teflon Billy]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Er... you do know that Canada has much more land mass than the States, right?

 

I don't consider a 3% difference in territory to be "much more" land mass.

 

Canada is #2 and the USofA is #3 in total area.

 

Now, if you were talking about choosing between Russia and Canada or Russia and the USofA, then you'd be right.

 

TB

[gojira]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

If I were going to conquer Canada, I'd want some big weather altering machine to mess the place up. I'd go just south of their border, and construct some big gas belching machine to pump climate-altering gasses into the air until the whole place melts. Don't freeze it, go the other way. Warming it up would be much worse. Hahahaha. Then I'd demand beer money and back-bacon for ransome.

 

oh, wait...

[McCoy]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Move the US Border 100 miles to the North.

 

This will make 90% of the population Americans.

[nexus]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

No no' date=' Canadians are special, all those urban dwellers would take to the woods and arctic tundra and fight to the bitter end. They will of course have all the requisite survival skills because they were born with them [/quote']

 

And people laughed at Red Dawn...

 

 

[Basil]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

My Gork, now this is thread necromancy!

 

Anyway.... I read the first post and immediately thought "Get Quebec to go independent, then Alberta, possibly Saskatchewan, and even Manitoba &/or British Columbia. After that, perhaps do something with the Inuit; get them to try and take some or all of the rest of Northwest Territories. Once you divide up Canada, you can take over the pieces one by one, if indeed you want all of it."

 

I was quite pleasantly surprised to see that most of the Canadian posters to this thread said more or less the same thing. I guess I'm not so ignorant of affairs in Canada as I feared I might be.

 

Another thought I had was bombing the hell out of the railroad line to Churchill, MAN. With that out, the economy of the Prairie Provinces will nose-dive, which would give a supervillain (particularly a mind-controller, or one who can repair railroads quickly) lots of opportunities. A fixable attack upon the Grand Banks would do something similar in the Maritimes, while something of that sort to the hydro-electric dams in Quebec might be added in.

 

Face it, though, a military attack on Canada would get the USA involved, no matter what; if the supervillain felt he could handle that, why wouldn't he attack the USA? Not that there might not be reasons (serious or light-hearted).

 

BTW---Although the fact is not well known in the USA, it is not only Quebec that has a solid core of people who want independence; Alberta and to a lesser extent Saskatchewan have indepenence-seeking movements. Manitoba and B.C. haven't much in the way of independence movements---little more than a few flakes, as I understand it.

[David Johnston]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

 

Face it, though, a military attack on Canada would get the USA involved, no matter what; if the supervillain felt he could handle that, why wouldn't he attack the USA?

 

 

There is one simple answer for your would-be conqueror of Canada. He's actually working for the United States in the first place. OK, it's a bit anachronistic. This isn't the 19th century and American politicians don't natter about Manifest Destiny any more. But assuming that terrorists are being smuggled across the Canadian border and there's some kind of desperate water shortage in the states, a superpowered American adventurer with some followers going back to the good old days and trying to take over Canada so it can be turned over to the United States, perhaps in the guise of American troops coming in to save us from the nasty old supervillain, might happen.

 

Then again, who says you have to conquer Canada in the present? Mr. Patriotic American Loon could hop into a way back machine and try to make the war of 1812 turn out a little better for the the Americans.

[Hugh Neilson]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

There is one simple answer for your would-be conqueror of Canada. He's actually working for the United States in the first place. OK' date=' it's a bit anachronistic. This isn't the 19th century and American politicians don't natter about Manifest Destiny any more. But assuming that terrorists are being smuggled across the Canadian border and there's some kind of desperate water shortage in the states, a superpowered American adventurer with some followers going back to the good old days and trying to take over Canada so it can be turned over to the United States, perhaps in the guise of American troops coming in to save us from the nasty old supervillain, might happen. [/quote']

 

Water shortage. Oil shortage. Flu vaccine.

 

Maybe the would-be conquerers are funded by a coalition of US softwood lumber producers (or cattle ranchers).

[nexus]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Well, at least the thread hasn't turned into the US bashing fest I feared it would become...

[Markdoc]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

You guys are overlooking the obvious.

 

They're Canadians, right?

 

So you want to conquer their country? Just ask - politely, mind.

 

cheers, Mark

[Zed-F]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Good one, Markdoc.

 

Given how much respect the average person around here has for politicians in general, show us you've got the qualifications, respect for the people, and a proven track record of doing a good job, and it might even work.

[Marketeer]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Water shortage. Oil shortage. Flu vaccine.

 

Maybe the would-be conquerers are funded by a coalition of US softwood lumber producers (or cattle ranchers).

 

Of the three, I can only kind of vaguely envision water shortage as a motivation--and even then, desalinization plants on the coasts would be cheaper than invading Canada.

 

You could dramatically play up the political differences between the two countries, then have the US invade to take out a "socialist monster", but that's stretching, and greatly so.

 

You would have to dramatically change the relationship between the two countries for the US to want to invade Canada--the closest I could come is if you made our differing stances on narcotics somehow campaign significant--like some kind of street variant of the 4th ed Cyberline drug, or something.

[David Johnston]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Of the three, I can only kind of vaguely envision water shortage as a motivation--and even then, desalinization plants on the coasts would be cheaper than invading Canada.

 

Well that's why I included the terrorists, although I doubt that invading Canada, would be more expensive than building desalination plants.

[DEFCON Clown]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I think if America ever decided that we wanted to take over Canada and Mexico we'd have more trouble with Mexico. I don't mean durring the invasion, America would pretty well squash both countries. I do think that we'd then have all sorts of problems with keeping peace in Mexico due to all the corruption and poverty, oh and all the drug (what would you call them? Drug lords? Barrons?).

[Ockham's Spoon]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Er... you do know that Canada has much more land mass than the States, right?

 

 

I was refering to size as a function of economy and population. Going for the biggest country by landmass would be like trading dimes for nickels because the nickel is physically larger. Any villain that dim will be hard-pressed to conquer any country. But, that said, I did not know that Canada had more land area, so thanks for the geography lesson.

[MK Blackout]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

If you want to take over Canada you don't put the mind control agent in the beer, you put it in the timmies!

 

(For the non-canucks that would be Tim Horton's coffee)

[GestaltBennie]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I'd say you go for the tried and true historical method:

 

First, claim Canadian land. Then take Canada to arbitration. Make sure that Canada's represented by incompetant British diplomats who really don't care what's going on in some barely inhabited backwater. If possible, make sure the dispute's being adjudicated by a country that currently despises Great Britain. Once you're finished, collect large portions of the Pacific Northwest, Michigan, the Ohio Valley, the Alaska Panhandle, or any other significant portion you desire.*

 

*This is of course, the whiny Canadian version of historical events. YMMV, depending on nation of origin. :-)

[Cancer]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I suppose we could start the Pig War again.

[freakboy6117]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

i have two words to say on this subject

EXPLODING MOOSE

[SatinKitty]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Perhaps it's time for Teleois to let a plague loose, wait a year until panic builds, then offer to 'cure it' in exchange for things. He could then try to turn Canada into the world's premeire medical power... selling a varient of the cure (One that merely holds it at bay rather than removes it entirely) to the now infected United States.

 

Mmm....

 

We've got that already. It's called the Pharmecutical Industry.

[Basil]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I suppose we could start the Pig War again.

But there's no longer a King of Prussia to adjudicate it!