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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sorry for the long posts, but I’ve been having way too much fun with this adventure arc.

 

Part 1:

In my Champions campaign, we finished things up with the guest teen heroes:

 

Elemental: Pretty but bossy cheerleader able to control earth, water, air, and fire.

Piccolo: Cute band geek with musical abilities.

Powerplay: Transplanted loud-mouth redneck, now brick/speedster hockey player.

Specs: Brainy but klutzy guy with a penchant for steampunk gadgets.

Stretch: Basketball player / prankster with stretching abilities.

 

Powerplay (to Piccolo): So a flute player is called a flautist. Does that make you a piccolist?

Piccolo: Very funny.

GM: I’m just amazed he knew the word “flautist.”

 

To recap, the teen heroes discovered a deserted 1950s-era hero base, which had a secret area containing a supervillain (Black Oak the druid) in stasis. When we ended last time, the robotic custodian Jason had alerted the teens the stasis tube was failing, and they were rushing from their homes to the base, communicating via bulky Liberty League-issue videophone watches, or as Stretch put it: “We’re using our Farnsworths.”

 

Elemental: But that whole area is covered with traps. Won’t that keep him in?

Jason: It appears Black Oak has summoned a number of large rock creatures and they’re breaking through the traps.

Powerplay (OOC): Squirrels?

GM (sarcastic): Yeah, you got it, they’re giant squirrels in disguise.

Specs: We could call in the Squirrel King. He’ll save the day.

 

The teen heroes decide to alert the local adult hero team (S-Squad), just in case.

 

GM: You’re all on the north side of town, and S-Squad is on the south side of Chicago… in the baddest part of town…

Stretch: Do they have Leroy Brown working for them?

 

Stretch arrives first, calls S-Squad, and is trying to convince their receptionist that it’s not just a prank call.

 

Receptionist: And what is the supervillain’s name that you say you found?

Stretch: Black Oak.

Receptionist: (typing) I don’t see any record of a Black Oak in our files.

Stretch: You’re gonna have to use the way-back machine, lady. This is a really old dude.

GM (OOC, imitating a teenager): He looks like he’s in his late 30s, man, he’s ancient!

 

Receptionist (to Synergy): We have a call, some guy calling himself Stretch says he and his friends found an abandoned secret superhero base, and there was a supervillain named Black Oak in stasis there, but he’s breaking free. I looked Black Oak up online - he existed and was active back in the 1940s and 50s. The caller sounds like a kid, so it might be a prank. Do you want to take it?

Synergy: Well, this one’s original, I’ll give him that. At least it looks like he did his homework. Yeah, I’ll take it.

 

The other teens arrive, and they all go to fight Black Oak and friends. The earth elementals are blocking the hallway, so Elemental creates a sheet of ice under them. Despite this, two of the elementals make repeated DEX rolls and remain standing through almost all of the fight.

 

GM: … number 6 is bracing himself against the walls, and number 5 is moving like he’s Michael Jackson.

 

Piccolo wants to use her No-Range AOE attacks against multiple elementals.

 

Piccolo: I need to get into the middle of them, but I don’t have a way to get there.

Powerplay: You’re in marching band! You know how to walk!

Piccolo: But I’m too far away!

Powerplay: (begins imitating marching music)

 

In the heat of battle, Powerplay has been making crass, suggestive comments to the two girls.

 

Elemental: You are so shallow!

Powerplay (leering): I go deep enough.

GM: (grins and begins scribbling down that exchange)

Piccolo (OOC): Just how R-rated is this website where you post these quotes?

GM: Compared to some, yours are pretty tame.

 

The teens are trying to figure out what Black Oak’s other abilities might be.

 

Specs: (Makes his KS: RPG Games roll) Well, he summoned multiple earth elementals, so he’s at least an 8th level Druid…

 

Piccolo uses her Pied Piper tune (3d6 Mind Control, Cumulative) to try to affect the elementals.

 

GM: What are you commanding them to do?

Piccolo (shrugs, figuring she hasn’t rolled enough effect yet): Just to hold for further orders.

GM (rolls EGO rolls): Okay, that’s something they’re inclined to do, so these three stop moving.

Piccolo: It worked?!

Stretch: Think about it. What do rocks like to do the most? Just sit there.

 

Elemental has been sand-blasting individual elementals, wearing them down slowly but seems to feel she’s not highly effective.

 

GM: Too bad you guys don’t have, oh, I dunno, someone who commands the elements!

Elemental: (pause) I can do that?!

Specs (OOC): You have a Cosmic Variable Power Pool. You can do pretty much anything you can think of!

 

Despite their efforts, Black Oak gets out of view and up to the underground river. When Stretch and Piccolo arrive, they see Synergy approaching from down the opposite tunnel.

 

Synergy: Okay, where is he?

Piccolo: I think Black Oak turned into a bird and flew off.

Stretch: Did you see a budgie on your way in?

Synergy: No, sorry, didn’t see any birds.

Powerplay: He hopped into the river and turned into a carp! An old gnarly one with a bunch of those feelers hanging down in front!

Stretch (OOC): Hush. You’re not there.

Powerplay: I’m telling you, put some bacon on a hook. They can’t resist!

 

While Synergy, Stretch, and Piccolo compare notes, the heroes down in the security level hear two voices behind them.

 

Voice 1: Dang it! I was sure these kids would stop him!

Voice 2: Ha! I win!

Stretch (OOC): Oh, great, we have house elfs.

 

Two imps, Mischief and Mayhem (former teammates of Black Oak in the Alliance of Evil) appear in midair.

 

GM (describing their height by hand): They’re about this tall. They’re tiny…

Piccolo (singing): They’re tooney…

Others join in: They’re all a little looney… (all continue the Tiny Toons Adventures theme song)

 

The heroes discover why Black Oak’s stasis tube failed.

 

Mayhem: Think Black Oak’s gonna be pissed?

Mischief: Hey, he commanded us to set him free if he was ever captured. He didn’t say how quickly we had to do it!

 

Specs: So what are you two up to?

Mayhem: We’re thinking of getting the band back together.

Specs: Band? What do you two play?

Mischief: (banjo appears, starts Dueling Banjos)

Mayhem: (accordion appears, starts playing a Weird Al medley)

 

Elemental gets tired of the two irritating imps and creates a globe of water around Mayhem’s head to shut him up.

 

Mayhem: Glub! Glub, glub, glub! (sticks tongue out at her)

Mischief: (giggles, then puts his rear end into the water and lets out some gas)

Stretch (to Elemental): Any way you can light that up?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Part 2:

After the imps disappear seeking two other Alliance members (Gypsy and Mister Magnificent), the rest of S-Squad arrives.

 

Powerplay: Just so we’re all clear up front… this (gestures around at the secret base) is ours. You have your own base. (pause) And stay away from our wine cellar!

Stretch: You’ve really got a woody for that wine celler, don’t you?

Powerplay: Hey, that’s our college tuition!

 

The teens are giving S-Squad a tour of the base, all 1950s technology.

 

Powerplay: Okay, so it’s not exactly cutting edge. But we’re planning on some upgrades.

 

And we bid adieu to the teen heroes, for now.

 

GM: We now return you to your regularly scheduled characters, already in progress.

 

The members of S-Squad split up to try and locate Gypsy and Mister Magnificent. Sentinel and Serendipity are going after Gypsy, who they figure out is somewhere in Europe, while Styx and Synergy take the team vehicle down to Antarctica, rumored to be where Mags is being held.

 

Sentinel: I could bring Piccolo, to use her ultrasonics to help us search.

GM: How are you going to do that? Tell her mom, “Hi, I’m Sentinel, I need to borrow your kid for a few days, taking her to Europe…”

Serendipity: Hey, that base is under your daughter’s school, maybe Sarah knows her.

Sentinel: I could ask her.

GM: So, what are you going to say is the kid’s name?

Sentinel: Ummm… Piccolo?

 

Thanks to Serendipity’s luck, they find Gypsy’s campsite but she already left, so they’re flying back to the US. Online, Serendipity begins seeing reports across Europe of a horse-drawn wagon appearing and then disappearing in a direct line toward Chicago.

 

GM: The reports seem to be happening about 21 miles apart.

Styx: (flash of realization) Seven league boots!

GM: More like seven-league wheels.

Subliminal: You know, when they hit the ocean, that horse is gonna be sh***ing bricks.

Synergy: Yeah, and he’s really not going to like it when they head down to Antarctica.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

playing Rogue Trader, and our 40K heroes are cleaning out a nest of Chaos Cultists.

Not because we're all that good, but they had an archaeo-tech Rejuv-Tank

we wanted to loot. Plus it gets us a Favor from some higher-ups.

 

Our heroes are on a balcony, and we are shooting down into a courtyard full of cultists

and their minions. It is easy picking for us.

 

A few turns in, I notice that cultists have wheeled some twin-linked heavy-bolters onto

the next balcony above ours, and next turn, we will be easy pickings. I warn the group.

 

The captain jumps down the stairs, he will live.

The battle-sister jet-packs across the courtyard to the

relative safety of hand-to-hand combat.

The commandant slides down the bannister, right into a fight.

The psyker leaps over the balcony, and takes the fall damage on his armor.

Next is my turn, then the bolters go, then 2 more of our comrades (Nav. & Guardsman)

 

My character (the Technician) asks the Navigator "Do you trust me?"

Foolishly he says "Yes. Wait, what are you going to do?"

"You already said yes", I say. GM asks for my action.

 

"I run at the railing, grabbing the Navigator, as we go over the side:

I try to aim us at 2 cultists, so that one of each will pad our falls"

 

The navigator player guffawed out laughter.

the guardsman player, was like, "Hey what about me?"

 

I took no damage from the fall, the nav. was only stunned,

and the guardsman's armor stopped most of the hail of bullets that filled up the balcony.

 

Later I told the guardsman:

"look there's like 7000 soldiers on this space-port, but there's only 8 or 9 Navigators."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

@boloOfearth: More great stuff I would give you more Rep but I have to spread it around.

 

@Eygptiod: I followed your logic though out it and it is exactly what I would do in a similiar case. But then again I know the setting. I would give you rep also...but I need to spread it about more before I can give you some.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

@Eygptiod: I followed your logic though out it and it is exactly what I would do in a similiar case. But then again I know the setting. I would give you rep also...but I need to spread it about more before I can give you some.

 

Got him for you... and for me too.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So many:

"You see the tyre tracks of a blue van."

 

On meeting a Small Chinese Magician:

"What's your problem, scuzzball?"

SCM: "You DARE insult me? What is this 'scuzzball'?"

"It's a small Chinese man who can perform great feats of magic."

SCM "Yes. I am Scuzzball!"

 

And from a character trying to physically block the effects of a magical crystal:

"I get between myself and the crystal ball."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some from long, long ago.

 

Fledgeling hero Kaz: Stop, evil do-gooder!

 

And the worst thing to say in one of my games: "Take your best shot."

 

Both times it was used, the NPC rolled a critical success.

 

The first was in a Fantasy Hero game, and the PC (wearing full plate armor and standing waist-deep in a river) was one-shot KO'd, so he went under and had to be rescued by the rest of the party.

 

The second was Kaz, again, who was fighting an agent next to an open elevator shaft. Kaz (big brick) had just taken the agent's rifle away, so the agent was bare-handed when Kaz said, "take your best shot." So the agent did a Martial Throw and sent Kaz (who doesn't fly) down the shaft.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a Pathfinder game we are doing Savage Tide.(Also like the Dark Hersey game probably going to be a great souce of quotes) Eventualy I'll put up a Hero system qute...it is just I usualy leave that up to the GM of that game...I do play Hero system honest. Anyway

 

Cast:

Aleshia: Witch...crazy...has a fox familiar.(my character)

Celaer Darkmane: Elven Archer

Kassoth: Monk

 

Scene: we are sneaking aboard a ship out in the harbor to find out something. We attempted to climb aboard and sneak on...but no plan survive contact. The monk climbs aboard easily enough...then I fail my check and fall into the water alerting the guards.

Celaer:OOG: I help her(Aleshia) back on boad the row boat. And attempt to help her climb.

*dice are rolled...I roll like crap again...*

GM:Aleshia falls back into Celaer's arms.

Celaer: Maybe you should wait here. I have to go up and help the monk and I won't be here to save you if you fall into the water again.

*dice are rolled again...he fails and falls into the water...mind you he is wearing heavy armor*

Aleshia:OOG...I help him back on board

Aleshia: Maybe you should wait here. I have to go up and help the monk and I won't be here to save you if you fall into the water again.

*after serveral more rounds of very bad dice rolling and Aleshia saving Calaer again...she can swim pretty well...and he is in metal armor*

Kassoth:OOG Guys...I need some help here...I am running out of mooks to kill eventualy the leader types will be coming out.

 

After the session

Aleshia:I am definitly taking the Flight Hex next level.(which makes the witch lighter...think about the old test in medival times if a person floats there are a witch...if not they are not a witch...so it give a +4 to swimming...and feather fall at will)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More quotes from teh Bunneh's Fantasy HERO campaign. I'm afraid that I was a little too into character with my slightly unhinged Elf so I probably missed a few good ones. I'll do better next time.

 

----

 

Characters:

 

Lady Isobelle Hawthorne: Noblewoman and duelist hand-picked to be the local Baron's captain-of-the-guard. Has a bloodthirsty streak.

Quion Rake: A taciturn and intense magician and alchemist turned humble clerk. Also in the service of the local Baron.

Damien Wrathchild: A man of mystery and cunning hiding from a dark secret from his past. Rumored to be the Baron's spymaster.

Lieutenant Niamh O’Derry: Professional warrior serving as an officer in the Apotic Corps of the Draconians - the kingdom's elite police force.

Wythri Majaera: Elven sage-in-training and spellcaster (secretly a Wild Mage).

Wallace Gunn: A good-old-boy turned druid who carries a big stick. Assigned as forester to the Baron.

 

----

 

The Elf is getting kidnapped so Isobelle charges in to attack the kidnappers...

Wythri: I'm Wythri Majaera...and I approve this attack. :thumbup:

 

After a comment that Wythri might as well be Isobelle's sidekick...

Isobelle: I never call someone who might throw a fireball at me a minion.

 

Said while the Druid raced into the fray...

Gunn: By the way, stop in the name of my god.

 

Isobelle takes a hit and the GM gleefully rolls on the hit location chart...

Isobelle (OOC): You know, if you stab me anywhere, it's going to hurt! It doesn't really matter which organ it is! :help:

 

Comment on Isobelle's two-weapon fighting style...

Wythri: It's just a thrust to the left. [singing] And then a stab to the right!

 

Wythri tends to ruin many of Isobelle's best dark warrior lines...

Isobelle: I have two rules. The first is to never forget. The second is to never forgive.

Wythri: Wait, what was the first one again? :think:

 

The Druid guts a bad guy with his spear...

Gunn: That's for every harmless kitten you ever drowned.

 

The alchemist warns an incapacitated opponent to stay put...

Quion: [deadpan] If you move, I will pour something on you that will dissolve your brain.

 

Caught up in the battle, Wythri gets a little bloodthirsty...

Quion: You are not acting your normal self.

Wythri: And you know 'normal?'

 

Regarding Isobelle's acrobatic skill and fashion sense...

Quion (OOC): She can do a Tokyo Drift in nine-inch heels.

 

A drugged-up bad guy dissolves into a viscous black goo right before our eyes. All characters make CON checks to hold their lunch. Quion is the only one who fails...

Wythri: So...we witness a supernatural biochemical reaction...and the alchemist is the only one sick from it.

 

Quion rushes through a battle in a burning building, drawing enemy attention. They chase him as he heads toward Niahm...

Wythri: The alchemist is pulling aggro for the fighter!

 

Following the third and last intense combat of the night...

Gunn: [shouting] Magical healing station here!

Isobelle: Check on Niahm please - she looks kind of dead.

 

The story ends with the rescue of Wythri's DNPC...

Wythri (OOC): I apologize to Hugo for taking him as a Complication.

 

Then a side conversation discussing the upcoming gaming schedule...

Bunneh: So no game in two weeks because of GenCon.

Ghost Angel: Oh, are you guys going to GenCon?

Lonewalker: [sarcastic] No, we're calling off gaming in honor of GenCon. :stupid:

 

---

 

Hopefully more next week. Enjoy!

 

(PS: Could someone rep Bolo for me? Apparently I have to spread some rep around.)

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 5 of Qin: The Warring States

 

The cast:

Black Cloud, a retired wu xia turned baker

Bu Ya, a calligrapher and vagabond

Silent Mountain, a wu xia and doctor

Wandering Vine, a barbarian, horse trainer, and internal alchemist

 

Once again, the tendency for the players to turn anything the GM (or Wandering Vine) said into a double entendre was almost overwhelming. I ended up not writing most of it down.

 

The GM described his future plans for the PCs: "A Taoist radiation accident."

 

The GM mentions an NPC's name: "Jasmine Steel."

Bu Ya (OOC): "Porn star!"

 

The GM: "Go ahead and make your voyeur roll."

 

Silent Mountain on his next action: "I'll collect Mr. Kudzu over here." (a.k.a. Wandering Vine)

 

Silent Mountain makes an OOC prediction as to the fate of a certain foe: "He's gonna have mineral poisoning when I'm done with him."

Black Cloud (OOC): "Yeah, a severe steel imbalance."

 

The GM forgets what it was he was talking about: "Those of you with... uhm... Taos... of... perception powers?"

Others at the tables: "Tao of the Inner Eye?"

The GM: **laughs and shakes his head**

 

Silent Mountain (OOC): "I've got Wood 4."

Black Cloud (OOC): "For sheep?"

Silent Mountain (OOC): "Yup."

 

Black Could on why his character doesn't have the Stealth Skill: "I can't have stealth. My balls clank too much when I walk."

(Black Cloud's combat prowess fully supports this bit of bragging.)

 

Bu Ya: "How very quantum mechanical of you."

 

We supply Wandering Vine's dialogue for him: "Get to dah towah!" (send in your best Arnold voice)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

in the Kingmaker path for Pathfinder, the PC group tries to re-establish

a duchy in a lawless area.

 

the perk is that at the end of the campaign, the PCs will be nobles and officers of the region.

 

So last week when the team sorceror missed the session, I referred to him as "His Excellency" all night.

 

more later when I find my crib notes from a great session.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The player may be happy (or not), but Aquatic is probably regretting my return to GMing...

 

.oO(We unleashed something so evil it kicked two different armies' asses, scared rebels straight, and was immediately dubbed 'IT' in capital letters? Christ..we're boned.)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

4OK game:

 

Q: "why do we wanna kill this smuggler?"

A: "Look, we can be the new drug smuggler for this sector,

but we won't sell to kids, and we don't cut it with bleach.

We've got standards."

 

 

===================================

pathfinder:

 

The druid goes up a level.

the Bard encourages him to be more advanced, more educated.

"Look, you can get some serious skills now, like etiquette

or whatever. Things that will help you not date your own mother anymore."

Druid: "EWWW!"

Warrior: "Are you saying 'ewww' because you've never dated your mother,

or saying 'ewww' because you don't want to date anyone besides your mom?"

 

 

 

This one castle had a dwarven lawn jockey out front. These kobolds must be racists.

 

 

 

Right when the GM was describing an NPC interaction, and it was time

for the player to respond, another player cut the cheese quite loudly.

Bard interrupts: "In some cultures that is quite the traditional greeting"

 

 

 

 

"All Kobolds look alike to me"

 

 

 

 

"Undercommon?. Never heard of it. Must be the trade lingua for whores"

 

 

 

Several NPCs and a PC have died lately. we've had to bury several people.

we have no cleric. so the bard has taken up the habit of saying a few words

over the bodies and burying them.

the druid gets disgusted with this, as it seems unholy or irreverent to him.

the warrior says "Bard, are you using your high bluff skill on the gods themselves?"

this comment ticks off the druid a lot more.

so the bard touches the druid on the shoulder and sincerely asks him:

"Be honest with me, are my sermons getting any better?"

druid stomps off into the woods.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Last night's Cthulhu session, in which the party recover from unwise use of grenades and Buttercup the Eldritch Cow

 

Many opportunities for investigators to update each other on what they've been doing. Plus, Lancaster's player is back!

Lancaster's player
:
*comes in, backs out slowly*

Lucy's Player
: Where are you going?

Lancaster's Player
: I'm sorry, but Drhoz is entirely too pleased to see me

 

Lucy
: I accidentally shot someone... seven or eight times

Pvt. Rondale
: I'm sorry, but after the sixth time it stops being an accident

Lucy
: My finger slipped!

McGinty
: She has a nervous twitch!

McGinty pays Lucy for the ruins of her house and land, and sets her up in one of the bedrooms at Bernie's

McGinty
: Here's $6000 - the land is mine! And by the way, rent is $500 a night

 

McGinty
: There was this Private Investigator nosing around. Asking questions about your fire. We told him to go away, he didn't, he died.

Lucy
: What?!?
:nonp:

Prof. Engeleins suspects government agents have been pumping him for information whilst he was semi-concious from painkillers. McGinty doesn't think his has to worry about it.

McGinty
: I get gaps in my memory all the time! I sit down with a full bottle and when I wake up somebody has stolen all me booze!

Rondale
: And you're in a gutter with no pants and the policeman is saying 'Hello again, McGinty'

McGinty
: Bat Country!
:ugly:

 

Me, GM
: It is still Bernie's house, after all...

McGinty
: And I said I'd look after it right up until I track him down and shoot him in the head

He also intends to turn the conservatory into even more of a deathtrap then it already was. Complete with bait in the form of suspicious old books on a shelf, and doors that can't be opened from the inside

Me, GM
:
:nonp:
.....
*struggling to find the words*
You're a bastard

Roping in a new PC - A Protestant priest. Also Irish. Also a heavy drinker. What passes for Paddy's confession takes place in a speakeasy whilst the two of them are getting utterly smashed.

McGinty
: I've sinned. I've sinned a lot. And fooking 'ell I enjoyed it.

 

McGinty
: I've held what's left of my friends in my hands..

Rondale
: In what's
left
of your hands...

Pastor Joe is all in favour of alcohol for healing the sick

Pastor Joe
: It's sterilising the wounds, from the inside!
:cheers:

Naturally the two of them are completely drunk by the time they stagger out of the speakeasy and head back to Bernie's to drink some more. I'll gloss over what happened on the way, because there's no way in hell it's SFW. Suffice to say it involved a rat, a small blue-white humanoid, and Paddy getting home with the arse out of his pants.

 

Paddy, gesturing to Lucy.

McGinty
: This.... this 'ere gel.. with the bottle... this 'ere gel's Lucy. Knew 'er dad. She's one of the gels staying 'ere.

Pastor Joe
:
*stares blearily*
One of them? I can see two...

One comment that ran for the rest of the night

Prof. Engeleins
: Nipples are much fun when they're automated.

This worked out quite well for me, actually. I could run through the actual investigation with Amy Wells, Col. Lancaster, and Pvt. Rondale, whilst the rest of the players argued about whether the sparks would fly clockwise or widdershins from an electrified nipple. Admittedly it also lead to synchronised miming with sound effects of aforementioned automated electric nipples.

 

Engeleins would quite like to know what happened to his friend that invited them all out to the Eldritch Cow incident. Having been in hospital for 5 weeks and unconscious for most of it he hasn't been told yet.

Prof. Engeleins
: So what happened to my ex-colleague?

McGinty
: Well... let me put it in as few words as possible...
*pops cheek*
SPLATCH

Prof. Engeleins
:
*a tad upset*
Thank you for so informing me of the death of an old friend!

McGinty
: Oh, no problem. And see, I nabbed his occult collection too!

Not that Engelein's collection is safe either. McGinty has been sent around to look after the flat, and has a good search of the place while he's at it.

Me, GM
: Our friend is in a coma! Quick, let's loot his house!

 

McGinty
: What do cats eat? Alcohol, right?

 

Prof. Engeleins OOC
: Darn, I was hoping for facial injuries. If I can get my Appearance low enough it'll start being positive again! It's like a train wreck! I can't look away.. and yet I'm strangely aroused....

The rest of the players update Lancaster on how the little ghost girl was dealt with.

Chorus
: Ding-dong, the witch is dead, which old witch, the wicked old witch, Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead!

Which leads to ...

Prof. Engeleins OOC
: We've faced horrors Man Was Never Meant To Know! Traversed non-euclidean spaces that will blast our sanity beyond repair! But now we're in Kansas and I want to kill myself

Rondale
: I'm sorry Toto, but there's only one bullet left and I'm using it on myself.

Party drives to Jenning in multiple vehicles. Amy & Lancaster get there first, by virtue of being sober.

Prof. Engeleins
: What about Rondale and I! We were in your car!

Col. Lancaster
: You get there second, by virtue of being in the back seat.

 

Col. Lancaster
: Did you just say 'a drunken mob of Irishmen'? i believe there's a redundancy there...

 

Col. Lancaster
:
*booking rooms for the party*
And here's another $20 to pre-pay for damages.

 

Lucy
: I have standards!

Me, GM
: The same standards as Chinese manufacturing?

Prof. Engeleins OOC
: Oh, burn!

 

Col. Lancaster
: His name is going to cause us so many problems in diners. Pastor Joe? 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean we want more coffee...'

Eventually the group follow clues, punch a suspect into unconsciousness, and set up shop in his shack for the night. Entities arrive, and are responded to with the usual screaming and shouting and swarms of bullets.

Me, GM
: Can I at least finish my description of the creature?

Lucy's player
: No! Descriptions mean sanity loss!
:angst:

And for the time being, we'll pause it. But believe me we I say the Siege At Rooger's Shack went on for hours yet, and the quotes were golden

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Me : Consider yourself lucky my brother isn't playing in the BSG sim. If he was, I'd bet money Caprica City would be renamed The Republic of Fat Bastard by the end of the week.

 

Barakusia campaign survived, partly because the PCs did.

 

Al
: What are you?

Tarmikos
: Female

Al
: No, race

Tarmikos
: Human

Rumbaba
: Kosher Were-boar

 

In the middle of interrogating Kobolds prisoners, we get sidetracked into arguments about comparative anatomy

 

Murray, GM
: Ok, despite the name, Dragonborn are clearly monotremes.

Gae-el Aukana
: What?

Rumbaba
: They lay eggs but they have tits.

 

Rumbaba ( Good Cop )
: Before we start, should I call you sir or ma'am? I'm afraid I can't tell.

Kobold
: What? What difference does that make?

Al ( Bad Cop )
: It changes where we apply the knife

Murray, GM
: Reptile, remember? One hole for everything

 

One Kobold folds almost immediately

 

Murray, GM
: And thus, despite them both being reptiles, dragonshields are the ones with balls

 

Weird guy with blonde hair and black skin

 

Al
: Clearly he is part of a race driven underground hundreds of years ago, where they established a culture based on personal strength and treachery. Happens all the time.

 

Tarmikos
: Let's see what he makes of the goblin

Gae-el
: Soup.

 

Weird guy
: A were-rat? What's a were-rat?

Rumbaba
: You know, lycanthropes. Werewolves, werebears,
.

Gae-el
: Were-houses...

 

Me
: Well, if I recall correctly, chlamydia
can
cause epidydimitus, but the symptoms are generally mild. Syphilis causes a wide range of horrible symptoms but I don't believe boiling balls are included. So that leaves gonorrhea.

Gae-el
: Why are we talking about STIs?

Me
: We want a pet name for Al's Fiery Orb spell.

Al
: 'Rhea, then.

Me
: Or the Clap.

Al
: Only when it does well.

All
: *polite applause*

 

Murray, GM
: What do you do if a rottweiler humps your leg?

Al
: Whaaat?

Murray, GM
: Fake an orgasm.

 

Murray, GM
: Well if you enchant more mops...

Al
:
*sternly*
I don't do kitchen implements

 

Tarmikos
: What about the Kobold hiding in the amphora?

Murray, GM
: He's still there. Either drinking himself to death or being pickled.

 

Hope
: We can always interrogate him tomorrow when he has a hangover.

Rumbaba
:
*banging a pot next to his ear*
Tell us your troop movements! BANGBANGBANG Greeasssyyy Baaaaacoooon

Murray, GM :
And the kobold is over here.

Me
: Goblin.

Murray, GM :
The goblin is over here... wait, it
is
a kobold!

Me
: I know.
This
time I'm just messing with your mind
:eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another quote from the other week. Spoilers for Within You, Without You

 

 

McGinty's player : Is there any way we could have come out ahead here?

Me : Well, you could have stopped the machine

McGinty's player : We did stop the machine!

Me : No, you blew it up. There's a difference between safely landing a passenger jet and breaking the wings off at 40,000 feet.

 

Rondale's player : *slightly irked* So we could either save the locals, or end up with everybody exploded.

Me : Believe me - those were the two best possibilities.

 

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another set of quotes from last night. Both by the player of Disarray, the female mentalist/tk user.

 

Backgroud: Trying to get information from a lowlife self-styled ladies man when he went into a bar the group tracked him to. 2 female players with female characters each plan to go "all-slut exotic dancers riding a Harley" Heavy discriptions as to dress, hair, manerisms - one Npc was amused, another quiet and the last a bit surprised. During the interaction:

Disarray. OOC - "They're typical guys. They'd **** a table leg."

 

Later when I described how they changed on of my plans - which I did not care about and am used to - this was said: Disarray OOC: "I would have said 'I'll shove this cue stick up your a** and play pool with your tonsils."

Shes the new player, and I am so proud of her. And yes, I'm stealing the line.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our last episode, the PCs had decided to camp out at the suspect's house for the night, since they were suddenly nervous about walking four miles back to town as it got dark. Especially since they had no idea what the 'new friends' he'd been working for were. Although somebody back in town had mentioned giant crawdads. There was one moment when Lancaster's player bounced upright off his seat because, I suspect, he was alarmed by the possibility they'd be running into Vitus again. But I wouldn't be that mean to my players. Usually.

 

They did have to subdue their captive a few times. But since it was Lancaster doing the subduing, and that gentlemen is infamously poor at fisticuffs (despite having somehow punched him out a short while previously ) ...

Me, GM
: "How much damage?"

Col. Lancaster
: "I don't know! I don't want to roll it!"

That was the same player who facepalmed and said "Oh god" when the first emissary turned up and started buzzing, because now half the players did know what they were up against, and were very unhappy about it.

 

The first arguments began after that whisperer in darkness was blown apart. Half the party immediately wanted to run for it, but the rest were too afraid they'd be picked off one by one in the forest. So they barricaded the place and hoped like hell the thing's friends wouldn't come to investigate. Unfortunately, after the second scout reported back, they returned en masse. At this point, as McGinty waved a Tommy-gun at the things through a crack in the door, and the things out beyond the ring of lamplight buzzed back claiming benign intentions, the players had an ace up their sleeve. As far as the things knew, there was only one human in the shack.

 

Unfortunately they blew this almost immediately. When the things flapped off to prove their good will, the party neglected to check whether they had all flapped off, and started arguing with each other again.

 

And pretty soon it was the group blazing away through windows and the roof hoping like hell they would actually hit something.

McGinty
: Bat Country! I told you! Bat Country!
:shock:

Amy, Lucy and the dog tried to crowd together under the bed hoping the things wouldn't notice them when they eventually stormed the building, McGinty sprayed machine gun fire into the night, and the rest of investigators emptied their guns at anything that might be a flapping or scrabbling noise. And they kept on arguing and barking and swearing about what to do next throughout it all.

Rondale
:
*to Lucy*
"If you don't have a gun in your hand, your opinion doesn't count!"
:bmk:

Col. Lancaster
: "As the person with the most guns, I have the swinging vote; so SHUT UP!"

During a pause, McGinty decides to pull out his other ace - a spell apparently called Call Spirit Of The Air that he picked up in one of the books he's been jealously hoarding. Understandably, the rest of the investigators were deeply suspicious, and I was highly amused by the way the players all moved a little further away from him without even realising they were doing it. So, after the chanting and waving... nothing happened.

McGinty
: Er.....

Rondale
: What was supposed to happen?

McGinty
: A flappy thing was supposed to turn up.
:(

Me, GM
: And that's my cue for the monsters to drop the first log through the roof.

More gunplay ensues

Prof. Engeleins
: Can we see any glowing heads flying about through the hole?

Me, GM
: Not this time. It looks like they're going for silent running...

The things fall back to regroup, and McGinty tries again - and successfully summons a Worse Thing to deal with the Bad Things. And promptly going stark raving bonkers. Luckily for him, the result isn't catatonia or worse. It's megalomania. Possibly that IS worse.

 

The resulting gush of blazing overconfidence as he sics his invisible tittering beast on the other creatures includes the following, and much else.

McGinty
: Get 'em! Get all the flappy things! Kill all the flappy things! Kill them all! Kill them all, my pretty!"

This does seem to disrupt the arrival of an even bigger log, at least. Which is McGinty's cue to launch into a rowing dance of victory, and song. Lancaster's player just encourages him.

Lancaster OOC
: Who did it?

McGinty
: I did it!
:rockon:

Lancaster OOC
: Who did it?

McGinty
: I did it!
:rockon:

Lancaster OOC
: And hip-hop is invented 60 years early, by the wrong minority.

Me, GM
: You've never heard of the Black Irish?

Unfortunately, McGinty's little episode shows no sign of abating, and he can't seem to making up his mind whether he's a sorcerer supreme, St Patrick, or God. Lancaster attempts to subdue him so everybody can get the hell out of there whilst the creatures are away regrouping for another assault. Instead, McGinty soon has Lancaster by the shirt and is punching him in the face.

McGinty
: "I punched him because he said I was an idiot! No one says that to a god!"

Lancaster rebuts with a punch to the groin (not quite the Queensbury rules, there ). Despite having a constitution which would shame an asthmatic hamster, as Amy puts it, he manages an impale.

McGinty
: Ha! Didn't feel a thing!

Lancaster
:
*rolls second lot of damage*

McGinty
: GGHNN! ... felt... it.. that time!

Prof. Engeliens
: And St Patrick descends, waving his Sword of Justice!

Me, GM
: And St Patrick is on the floor, curled around his Sword of Justice

McGinty
:
*clutching groin*
Ahg! Me lucky charms!
:weep:

Lancaster OOC
: Who's a god now, bitch?

Having put a temporary end to McGinty's rant, the party decide now is a good time to bug out. Sad to say, the bugs find it quite convenient too, and grab the colonel from the rear of the line as the party flees into the night.

McGinty's player
: You mean my critter didn't get all the other critters?

Me, GM
: Doesn't look like it

McGinty's player
: Dammit

Me, GM
: Well think about it. Is invisibility really going to be that helpful against creatures that
don't have eyes
?

Carried off into the sky by flying Mythos beasties, screaming what may be his last words:

Lancaster OOC
: "I have a right to a phone call....I regret nothing!"

Which is where we left it for the night, apart from my aside to Lancaster's player

Me, GM
: 'My legs! Why can't I feel my legs!'

Lancaster OOC
: Oh god, they didn't....

HE knows what's happened... the rest of the newbies will have to find out... BWAHAHAHA

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our last episode' date=' the PCs had decided to camp out at the suspect's house for the night, since they were suddenly nervous about walking four miles back to town as it got dark. Especially since they had no idea what the 'new friends' he'd been working for were. Although somebody back in town had mentioned giant crawdads. There [i']was[/i] one moment when Lancaster's player bounced upright off his seat because, I suspect, he was alarmed by the possibility they'd be running into Vitus again. But I wouldn't be that mean to my players. Usually.

 

Okay, so I'm pretty sure they were fighting Mi-Go (which explains both the "giant crawdads" and why Lancaster can't feel his legs), but what did McGinty summon? Invisible and tittering sounds a little like a Flying Polyp.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay' date=' so I'm pretty sure they were fighting Mi-Go (which explains both the "giant crawdads" and why Lancaster can't feel his legs), but what did McGinty summon? Invisible and tittering sounds a little like a Flying Polyp.[/quote']

 

Star Vampire. He's incredibly lucky that going insane from the summoning didn't leave him incapable of giving it orders, since Star Vampires are even harder to kill than Mi-Go. Admittedly it probably would have flown off again after draining a few of the PCs...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Star Vampire. He's incredibly lucky that going insane from the summoning didn't leave him incapable of giving it orders' date=' since Star Vampires are even harder to kill than Mi-Go. Admittedly it probably would have flown off again after draining a few of the PCs...[/quote']

 

Argh... right. Flying Polyp don't take orders and would've not only killed the Mi-Go, but flattened the cabin and slaughtered the PCs.

 

PS: Have I told you I'm willing to move to Peth just to play in your games?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Argh... right. Flying Polyp don't take orders and would've not only killed the Mi-Go, but flattened the cabin and slaughtered the PCs.

 

PS: Have I told you I'm willing to move to Peth just to play in your games?

 

You'd be welcome to, and you're not the only one. 4 other people have told me the same thing. I'd have to split the group into two campaigns though, we're already up to eight players :)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay... first, I need to get to Australia... second... I need to be able to stay... third job....

 

Hmm... perhaps I should simply conquer the world and be done with it.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay... first, I need to get to Australia... second... I need to be able to stay... third job....

 

Hmm... perhaps I should simply conquer the world and be done with it.

 

If you conquer the world, you can simply move him AND his players to YOU.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary notes that Lucius would rather conquer the world (and relocate Drhoz) himself, but there are far worse fates the world could suffer than conquest by Susano

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