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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

If you conquer the world, you can simply move him AND his players to YOU.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary notes that Lucius would rather conquer the world (and relocate Drhoz) himself, but there are far worse fates the world could suffer than conquest by Susano

 

Well, I've never been to Perth....

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We have numbats....

 

From Wikipedia:

The Numbat (Myrmecobius fasciatus), also known as the Banded Ant Eater, is a marsupial found in Western Australia. Its diet consists almost exclusively of termites. Once widespread across southern Australia, the range is now restricted to several small colonies and it is listed as an endangered species. The Numbat is an emblem of Western Australia and protected by conservation programs.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Here's a couple of qoutes from the Defenders Congregate! game last night.

 

Nighthawk: I don't know morse code.

Fantastic Man: WHAAAT! You can talk to me in atlantean, but you can't send a simple morse code message?

 

 

The Defenders are facing off against a powered armor Meglomaniac in the antartic when he begins to start to monologue.

 

Apocolypse: Do you know how many coincidences it took for Shirak the Destructor to be thrown clear of the destruction of Lemuria, drift throught the ocean undamaged for centuries before finding its way here to be completely incased in ice?

Rampant Lion: Ummm.....three?

 

I still mourn the quiet cessation of the campaign log... :(

Any chance this will start up again?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my annual Tales of the OSI game. Not a great session because I was fried but a few good quotes.

 

Table Chatter: Torch, Loo - We got it you're British

 

Sgt Ridgefield: He doesn't want to fight Zombie Alien Orcs and I can't say I blame him.

 

After finding the elevator to the sublevels of the Alien Technology Hanger at Wright-Patterson

Capt. Jimmy Gold: Let's Find the Stairs

Sgt Ridgefield: I think you misunderstand the nature of this installation.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More belated quotes from teh Bunneh's Fantasy HERO campaign. No combat in this session - I don't think any of players rolled a single die, thus proving that the wascally wabbit can maintain his players' attention for a whole session of in-character roleplaying. Shocking.

 

---

 

Lady Isobelle Hawthorne: Noblewoman and duelist hand-picked to be the local Baron's captain-of-the-guard. Has a bloodthirsty streak.

Quion Rake: A taciturn and intense magician and alchemist turned humble clerk also in service to the Baron. Suffers from nightmares.

Damien Wrathchild: A man of mystery and cunning hiding from a dark secret from his past. Rumored to be the Baron's spymaster and a fallen noble.

Lieutenant Niamh O’Derry: Professional warrior serving as an officer in the Apotic Corps of the Draconians - the kingdom's elite police force. Recently placed on suspension.

Wythri Majaera: Elven sage-in-training and spellcaster (secretly a Wild Mage). Slightly unhinged mentally.

Wallace Gunn: A good-old-boy turned druid who carries a big stick. Assigned as forester to the Baron. Patiently waiting for the GM to notice him.

 

---

 

During the trial of Big Pete, a local bandit captured by the team earlier, the characters are each called on to describe the events. Wythri is among the last to take the stand...

Wythri: My testimony is basically 'what she said.'

 

Side comment by the youngest Draconian, regarding dating prospects...

Jameson: My father had a good rule: Don't stick it in the crazy.

 

During the trial, the 'creepy' Quion has been called upon to act as defense. Wythri is scared of him...

Wythri: Would it hurt Quion's case if I screamed at him, saying, "I'll tell you what you want - just don't hurt me!"

 

As a high born lady, Isobelle knows the fine art of sincerity...

Isobelle: [to Quion] Your well being is of great importance to me.

Damien: Wow - you said that with a straight face.

Isobelle: I'm a noble. We can say all sorts of $#&% with a straight face. :winkgrin:

 

The Baron of Foxton, in an effort to befriend members of the party, cheerfully bids farewell to the fatalistic Quion...

Quion: [deadpan] Very well. I shall see you later. :straight:

Baron Mathieu (NPC): Great! I'm looking forward to seeing you! :thumbup:

Quion: [still deadpan] Why? :straight:

 

During a discussion regarding Isobelle's wishes versus the Baron's...

Baron Mathieu (NPC): Okay, who ranks higher here - Lady Hawthorne or me? I'll give you a hint: me!

 

The Baron's 'secret' spymaster comments about how to handle a troublemaking NPC...

Damien: I know a guy who knows a guy...who knows me. :eg:

 

The Baron has invited a few party members to a dinner that he prepared himself...

Baron Mathieu (NPC): Was it good?

Quion: [deadpan] How does one judge?

Isobelle: Did you enjoy the meal?

Damien: [whispering] Lie.

 

Lady Hawthrone pays a visit to the local sage where Wythri works...

Wythri: I'm sorry, Captain - we're closed today. See the sign.

Isobelle: [looks at the sign then flips it to OPEN]

Wythri: [brightly] How can I help you, Captain?

 

---

 

Enjoy!

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

QUOTES FROM GENCON 2010

 

Note: with most of these, I never did get the person saying the quote.

 

Robert Dorf's ASIAN SUPERHEROES 2010

 

The GM comments on a PC's PRE attack to get some foes to chase him: "[Fire and Ice] are seriously going to consider what you've said, and... they've been ordered to kill you anyway."

 

The GM: "Black Darna went into a disco, tried to have fun... and apparently killed a half-dozen people."

 

"...and I'm going to say something witty that I can't think of right now."

 

On how the super team keeps in touch: "You're all Facebook friends."

 

A PC looks at an image of an incoming monster: "I describe hydra Godzilla."

The GM: "Kaiser Ghidora."

Another PC: "German Godzilla?"

 

The GM comments on a PC's suggested plan: "Awakening Godzilla is an absolute last resort."

 

On why the PC's can't split into two groups: "We don't have the budget for two shooting units."

 

A PC makes a wise decision: "I've got to keep [the Maruchi] in front of me so he won't shoot me in the head again!"

 

"You have fought me for the first time, for the last time."

 

The GM: "Do you have Acrobatics?"

PC: "I... have... Lockpicking."

 

"What's he a professor of?"

Most of the table: "EVIL!"

 

"The threat of vacuum doesn't bother me, it's the long fall afterwards."

 

Dave Mattingly's MONUMENTAL BATTLE

 

"The Man on the Moon and the Face on Mars are playing with their action figures -- you guys!"

 

"I don't want to get all the way to Jesus."

 

"You pissed off the line drawing."

 

The Colossus of Rhodes defends himself: "Hey! I'm the 6th Wonder of the World!" (repeat this as needed)

 

"Go easy on the Etch-A-Sketch."

 

"Me-thinks touchdown Jesus has a lying problem."

 

"She's a ninja angel."

 

Football Jesus is [now] Fireball Jesus."

 

"Football Jesus on fire with a sword!"

 

"Always take out the false gods."

 

"Thou shalt not set Jesus on fire."

 

"It's the Belly-Flopping Jesus."

 

"I'll stab the spider." *roll* "Or, perhaps, I'll miss the spider."

 

"I'll keep my eyes closed when I hit the virgin."

 

"I took a STUN!"

 

"Is Jesus flaming anymore?"

"Oh, absolutely."

In unison: "He's fabulous!"

 

Evil Fleet's CAN OF WHUP-ASS 2010

 

"Hey, no taunting the GM."

 

Rash of the Titans attacks and gets: "1 BODY, 1 STUN."

"Just like the box office."

 

Sarah Palin comments: "I got a card to make me shut up."

 

Robert Dorf's pick-up of LUCHA LIBRA HERO

 

"Evil midgets."

 

"Amazingly, thanks to the logic of Mexican wrestling..."

 

"Your evil midget science cannot harm a technico who's heart is true."

 

Flashlight power-drainer thingy."

 

Monster + midgets = Mongets

 

"Watch out! Those midgets are more powerful than you think!"

"They'd have to be."

 

"They're going to form Mega-Midget!"

 

The GM attacks with two characters and both miss horribly: "This is what happens when we only get one take per scene."

 

"There are Tesla coils and Jacob's ladders missing from this display."

 

"You've stolen my power, but you haven't stolen my spirit."

 

"You drop to one knee to choke the midget."

 

And the GenCon 2010 catch phrase: "Oh, that's an orgy."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some more quotes from last fortnight's D&D that I forgot

 

Rumbaba
: *
wretchedly
* This is about to get Political, isn't it? Don't get me me wrong, as a
player
I'm all for some political intrigue. As a
character
, I'd rather juggle rabid polecats

 

Lord Martial
: You'll all be well rewarded for this day's work. Of course you'll have to swear never to speak of this ... establishment, or our guests.

Rumbaba
: We were never here. And here never existed anyway. You were somewhere else too, presumably

Lord Martial
: Good. I see the goblin understands.

Rumbaba
: Who said that?

Some PCs persist in asking questions

 

Rumbaba
: Please, we
really don't need to know this
.

Hope
: So who was the -

Rumbaba
:
*sticks fingers in ears and closes eyes*
LALALALALA

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Where's the GM sitting ?

By that wall.

Pity.

Why?

I can't sit behind him in the brown-nosing position.

Is that how you survive as Bard?

 

 

 

Sorceror: I use my animate rope to flick the top off her chainmail bikini.

GM: use your Ranged Bad Touching Attack modifier.

 

 

 

these are master-work smelling salts, made from troglodyte sweat.

 

 

 

GM: You track down a giant toad. It seems to be a magical beast rather

than an animal or vermin.With what skills do you examine it?

Druid: Knowledge Nature, 23.

Sorceror: Knowledge Arcana, 19.

Bard: Knowledge Nobility, in case it's actually a prince.

 

 

 

Druid: the dog aint a bad companion. not a bad companion at all.

Whole group stares at Druid.

 

 

 

your average Tatzel-wurm is just as smart as a dump-stat fighter.

 

 

Imagine a komodo dragon with opposable thumbs, a Tatzel-wurm is just like that.

that's about how much fun this fight is gonna be.

 

 

 

GM: Tatzel-wurm gets a 32 stealth check and pounces the Druid hard, like from out of nowhere.

Bard: I hope he's wearing a cup.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More Political stuff

 

Rumbaba
the Goblin
: This is really beginning to worry me. Several hundred kobolds, prepared to die for
Bahamut
, are attacking this place and half a dozen farmhouse to make it look like a raid by
renegade
kobolds... what is the Great Bronze Dragon up to?

Hope the Tiefling Paladin
: He wouldn't plan something like this, would he? He's Good, isn't he?

Murray, GM
: The island is named after him. He's the Patriarch of a line of metallic dragons. He's got half-a-dozen senators in his pocket, most of the legislators, and spokespeople on every committee on the island.The waterless month is named after him, because he said it was. The usual coinage is bronze, in his honour.

Rumbaba
: All we can say is that he's not
Stupid
Evil

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Saturday night Champions group...

 

Flame: Fiery mutant. Like Firestar from Spidey and his amazing Friends.

Oblivion: female egoist.

Splicer: a scientist that has invented and wears living bio-armor. Like the aliens from the movie Independence Day.

Frontline: the token brick, wears a brown cape, mask and fedora. (makes me think of a brown Shadow)

 

While running Foxbat for President….

The heroes are traveling from Millennium City to Postlethwaite, Pennsylvania. Since we figure it is only about a 5-6 hour drive, they decide to take Splicer’s Range Rover. Everyone is in normal id for the trip except Frontline. Splicer’s power suit is in the trunk.

 

Oblivion: to Frontline “Are you going to wear that damn mask and cape the whole time?”

Frontline: “I don’t want my secret identity out.”

Oblivion: “You look like an idiot, and you are jeopardizing our secret identities you moron.”

Frontline: “How, we are just riding in a car?”

Oblivion: “For 5 hours. You think we never stop for snacks or to use the restroom. Don’t you think people will be questioning why a hero is riding with three normal people? Maybe they might put two and two together.”

Flame, who is driving: “If you two don’t shut up I will turn this car around.”

Splicer: “I have to go to the bathroom”

 

 

Later referring to the prison fight…

(Frontline went unconscious during the battle)

Flame: “Remember when Frontline went down on me?”

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Oblivion: to Frontline “Are you going to wear that damn mask and cape the whole time?”

Frontline: “I don’t want my secret identity out.”

Oblivion: “You look like an idiot, and you are jeopardizing our secret identities you moron.”

Frontline: “How, we are just riding in a car?”

Oblivion: “For 5 hours. You think we never stop for snacks or to use the restroom. Don’t you think people will be questioning why a hero is riding with three normal people? Maybe they might put two and two together.”

Flame, who is driving: “If you two don’t shut up I will turn this car around.”

Splicer: “I have to go to the bathroom”

 

I would so read this if it were a comic book :)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

from 4OK Rogue Trader RPG...

 

Engineer: scanners found a class M planet, and bonus! it has a Class M moon !

Player, OOC: that's Trek lingo, were playing 4OK

Engineer, OOC: yeah, but here Class M means "Marine-Desired"

 

 

 

the Navigator gets an apprentice, a tall thin female navigator.

 

I said OOC: "You're thinking she'll be like a Companion of Dr.Who.

She's probably more like Penny from Gadget"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

During our Sunday afternoon Champions game...during a partial brawl with an NPC hero group....

 

Solaria(to other hero group): " Seriously, is there any good reason you shouldn't trust us? "

Surgical Steel: " We're Americans? "

 

Same fight...

Surgical Steel: Watch out for Dust Devil. He's a regular bull in....oh wait..he's Canadian. Make that moose in a China shop. "

 

Fighting Nazis(from Nazi World):

Nazi(in German): " Prepare To Die! "

Port(in Hebrew): " Prepare for Hell! "

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I'm being stalked by an honest to god Vampire. I KNOW it sounds nuts, but if he isn't one, he puts on a game, and either way he won't leave me alone. Now he's threatening my family if I don't come back to him."-NPC Goth Girl

 

 

Slyfox nods in understanding and takes the phone from her. "I know how to handle situations like this."

 

Putting phone to ear, he puts on his best sunny voice. "Hello, Dracula? Hi, Slyfox here. Yes, that Slyfox. Could you be a sport and leave this nice young lady and her family alone? Otherwise, I'm going to find you and your little coven, and oh, I don't know, drop you all into the Arctic Circle. Nice and sunny this time of year, I'm sure you'd all enjoy working on your tans."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I'm being stalked by an honest to god Vampire. I KNOW it sounds nuts, but if he isn't one, he puts on a game, and either way he won't leave me alone. Now he's threatening my family if I don't come back to him."-NPC Goth Girl

 

 

Slyfox nods in understanding and takes the phone from her. "I know how to handle situations like this."

 

Putting phone to ear, he puts on his best sunny voice. "Hello, Dracula? Hi, Slyfox here. Yes, that Slyfox. Could you be a sport and leave this nice young lady and her family alone? Otherwise, I'm going to find you and your little coven, and oh, I don't know, drop you all into the Arctic Circle. Nice and sunny this time of year, I'm sure you'd all enjoy working on your tans."

 

 

Announcing the first-ever horror film from HERO Games:

 

30 Days of Suntan.

 

OK, so maybe it wouldn't be much of a horror film for us. The plasma-deficient among

us, on the other hand...somehow, I think that "scared ****less" wouldn't even begin

to describe their mental state from just thinking about the prospect.

 

 

Major Tom 2009 :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Missed almost all of the session - was taking the Japanese schoolgirl we're hosting to the Wildlife Park. Apparently I missed some first-class puns. The following come from the last half-hour.

 

Rumbaba the goblin
: Apart from the events of last night, which never happened, how about we spread word of the exam raid as wildly as possible?

Murray, GM
: Rumours are already spreading like wildfire.

Rumbaba
: Great! The conspiracies will have to either rush their plans forward, abandon them, or change them at short notice. All of which works out as a plus for us.
:D

 

Gae-el
: We need you to find out what that murdered low-life was up to.

Rumbaba
: *
miserably
* I'm going to have to pretend to be a criminal, aren't I?

Murray, GM
: You've already been seen working with the police!

Rumbaba
: Oh good, I wouldn't want to live up to the cultural stereotype
:)

Al
: You'll never stop disappointing your father, will you?

 

Al
: Certainly, we
could
split up and get respectable jobs as butchers, prison guards and farm hands, but our skill sets suit us for only one profession - hired killers.

Rumbaba
: I'm not a hired killer!

Al
: True! Indeed, you have the choice of three lucrative professions - burglar, thief or mugger.

Rumbaba
:
:(

 

And a prolonged discussion about whether we should register as a professional group.

 

Murray, GM
: Groups on Barakusia become incorporated for the same reason people register small businesses today - so people know who to sue.

 

Gae-el
: Can we sell shares in the party?

 

Given the fact the players include multiple history majors, this lead to a short lecture on the German General who in the Thirty Year War set up an army as a profit-making venture and ended up bankrupting his own country.

 

Despite this warning Gae-el's player proposes a series of underhanded stratagems involving limited liability and trust funds in order to milk the investors of every penny.

 

Rumbaba
: Please bear in mind we live in a civilisation where people can and do hire assassins. And besides, I'll put money on the fact that the Great Bronze Dragon is already aware of such tricks. Indeed, he probably invented them.

 

Proposing names for the group

 

Gae-el OOC
: Loot & Pillage Pty. Ltd.

Murray, GM
: Already registered. In a dozen different misspellings.

 

Expectations for the game

 

Me, on Rumbaba
: I expect he'll go on desperately trying to avoid Politics or adventuring, and failing utterly

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My role-master character is currently in possession of a cursed bow with ally slayer and bloodlust (fumbles force me to attack allies, need to keep killing stuff). The other party members have been trying to steal it away from him with little success. While trying to get it away from me while I was sleeping, they discovered the bow turned invisible when it didn't want to be found.

 

On me waking up:

 

Me: What are you guys doing?

Other player: Do you know your bow turns invisible?

Me: My bow turns invisible?

Another player: That's what we'll tell you.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Hentai movies start this way.... just sayin'.

 

Hm, I didn't know you knew so much about it.

 

I knew there was something I liked about you.

 

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary says wait, what?

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