Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Klytus]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Do that have that freaky looking old bald Six Flags dancer guy' date=' too? [/quote']

 

That's too cruel! Even for Orcs.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 7 of Qin: The Warring States

 

The cast:

Black Cloud, a retired wu xia turned baker

Bu Ya, a calligrapher and vagabond

Silent Mountain, a wu xia and doctor

Wandering Vine, a barbarian, horse trainer, and internal alchemist

 

Note: some quotes are paraphrased, as I'm not a tape recorder.

 

"Where's the Copper Cat discussion?"

 

Wandering Vine to the GM: "I want to take you into the bedroom... just the two of us."

 

"Fire of 2, Seduction of 3, libido of infinite."

 

Black Cloud renames his spear from "Bringer of Peace" to "The Blade That Brings Eternal Peace."

(If anyone can give me the Mandarin for that, I'd greatly appreciate it.)

 

Black Cloud (OOC) explains Wandering Vine's sexual antics: "He was in the same Category 2 movie as the rest of us, then made a Category 3 movie playing the same character and using the same sets. And now someone's spliced the two movies into one narrative."

 

Silent Mountain (OOC): "Uncultured barbarian for the win!"

 

Wandering Vine (OOC): "Social skills are not us."

 

Wandering Vine (OOC): "They both have topless what?"

 

Bu Ya on Wandering Vine (OOC): "He loves monologuing. That's the problem."

 

Wandering Vine (OOC): "We're having a lot of trouble with this alleged old lady."

Black Cloud (OOC): "That's their story and they're sticking to it."

 

Bu Ya on how to aid Wandering Vine (OOC): "We need hookers! Lots of them!"

 

Wandering Vine gets off an awesome in-character zinger: "You had the power to learn all of these skills, but not the courage to leave the things you hate?"

[Tim]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Pathfinder Society game yesterday. Module was Black Waters.

Characters:

Mytor - Wizard who wears armor

Sajan - Gebbite necromancer

Fuqcarn - Human rogue

Zeek - Ranger and Sorcerer.

 

 

Fuqcarn - Mytor can sing? (Mytor's player also plays a bard in higher level games.)

Mytor - Yes. Anyone can sing. It just won't do you a damn bit of good.

 

(After opening a hatch that was underwater. Anyone in the water had to make a check to not get pulled in.)

Sajan - And you hear a giant flushing sound.

Mytor - But the Turds refused to go down.

 

Fuqcarn - But I don't have a day job.

Sajan - YOu are either a Vampire or a Hooker.

Fuqcarn - What's the difference?

Zeek - Vampires suck blood. Hookers suck something else.

 

Fuqcarn - Rogues like flank, because rogues do it from behind.

[DocMan]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From tonight's D&D game.

 

The cast:

Grimvar, a Dwarven ranger.

Garl, a halfling Rogue/Swashbuckler.

Cyrandel, an elf Duskblade who has been wearing armor that makes his alignment tend toward evil.

Saraphina, a Tielfling Rogue.

Vanatu, a Human Cleric NPC.

 

In combat, an opposing Elf casts a spell on Cyrandel that reduces his Intelligence and Charisma to 1.

 

Garl tells him to stand *there* and hit *that* (pointing to a gnoll) with the thing in his hand.

 

Cyrandel (OOC): Hey, there's nothing like Retarded Evil! *stab stab stab*

GM: It goes down, what do you do next.

Cyr: Retarded Evil, remember. *stab stab stab*

 

Vanatu: Get up the stairs! Kill something.

Cyr runs up the stairs and stops next to Garl.

Vanatu: Not the halfling!

 

The enemy spellcaster has holed up in an interior room. Grim hacks a hole in the wall with his urgosh and finds that it is dark inside. He calls the tiefling up to cast her darkness inside the room so the enemy can't see either.

 

Sara: I cast darkness at the darkness.

 

 

Garl picks the lock on a door during combat to try and sneak up behind an enemy. Because this is in combat, he neglects to check for traps. He sets off a lightning bolt trap, makes his evasion roll, and unlocks the door.

 

Garl, to Vanatu: Don't touch that.

 

 

Big bad on the other side of a magic mirror to Cyr, still feebleminded: Your village called...

 

Big Bad: Do you have any idea what you have there?

Cyr: No.

 

Doc

[Deadborder]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the third session of the Sunday Night Jokes, the Heroes (har har) are trying to stop a bunch of villains from releasing others from a prison van. The payer of Geigemeister, a Violin-Playing Mentallist, comes up with this gem:

 

"Can I use my poweras to make the prisoner think he's in his aparment, instead of in the van?"

 

The GM okay this, so she then adds "And can I makeh im think that the guards are Bob Marley and Jimmi Hendrix?"

 

Which yelds a "Sure, why not".

 

And so, a little later, the GM gives this description. "Inside the van is a man in a prison jumpsuit. He looks very relaxed and happy. As you poke your head in, he smiles and waves. 'hey dude, me, Bob and Jimmi are chilling. Want in?'"

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The Well of the Worlds, session 1

 

The Cast

Billy Jo Earl Brown -- construction worker from the state of Georgia.

Calvin Murdoch -- frustrated artist.

Cyan Chartreuse -- ex-Army medic, now an EMT.

Donovan Knight -- ex-Air Force, now an airline pilot.

Edward Aldrich -- ex-Army, now a computer tech.

Marcus Dreamseed Anderson -- 17 year-old whiz kid and technical prodigy.

 


Billy Jo Earl Brown: “It's not the first time I've woken up strapped into a seat upside down.”

 

Calvin Murdoch gives his OOC response to Marcus Dreamseed Anderson’s explanations: “I failed my EGO Roll to pay attention.”

 

Calvin Murdoch: "In all that science babble, any idea where we might be?"

Marcus Dreamseed Anderson: "I have many ideas where we are not."

 

Marcus tries to convince himself that a mammoth is really just an elephant.

Calvin Murdoch: "I think that's a toupee."

 

The PCs want to avoid the wooly mammoths on the other side of the brook, leading to this bit of advice: "Don't cross the streams."

*

Marcus Dreamseed Anderson convinces Billy Jo Earl Brown to go into the unknown jungle and hunt for dinner: "Right—that's got rid of him."

 

Donovan Knight: "Where's the plane?"

Calvin Murdoch: "Which part?"

 

Marcus Dreamseed Anderson: "If dinosaurs start to eat you, scream real loud."

 

Cyan Chartreuse and Edward Aldrich decide who gets first watch via 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.'

 

GM: "Everyone make a PER roll."

Marcus Dreamseed Anderson (currently walking behind the pretty woman) (OOC): "I know what I see."

 

Billy Jo Earl Brown: “We’re not going to get rescued, are we?”

[Ockham's Spoon]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

Fuqcarn - But I don't have a day job.

Sajan - YOu are either a Vampire or a Hooker.

Fuqcarn - What's the difference?

Zeek - Vampires suck blood. Hookers suck something else.

 

Fuqcarn - Rogues like flank, because rogues do it from behind.

 

Okay these quotes beg the question, just how is "Fuqcarn" pronounced?

[Tim]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay these quotes beg the question' date=' just how is "Fuqcarn" pronounced?[/quote']

 

Fook-carn

[Balabanto]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my Forgotten Realms game, now in Pathfinder (Yippee)

 

The heroes are in Mulholrand, and most of them are from the area. They are trying to convince the Paladin, Lihosifet, a knightly sort, to use her feminine wiles on a shopkeeper in order to determine the location of a jug of artistic value. The other PC's are a Wu Jen (Don't ask me how we converted this, we're still working on it), a Fighter from Waterdeep, a Tiefling Rogue, and a Cleric of Horus-Re.

 

Lihosifet: This is an outrage. I don't see how trying to seduce this Kasif would make a bit of difference. My feminine wiles are hardly sufficent to ply this man, anyway. Besides, what if it doesn't work?

 

Wu Jen: If it doesn't work, he would have to be a (Insert the Shou word for Eunuch here)

 

Luthius, the Fighter: (Thinking he means gay, turning to the Wu Jen, who looks like a fairly effeminate and exotic looking asian with flaming red hair) Then we'll send YOU in.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 8 of Qin: The Warring States

 

The cast:

Black Cloud, a retired wu xia turned baker

Bu Ya, a calligrapher and vagabond

Silent Mountain, a wu xia and doctor

Wandering Vine, a barbarian, horse trainer, and internal alchemist

 

Assorted random comments:

"Emo swordsman of death."

"The Blade That Gets You A Piece."

"Doctor Mountain"

"The Tao Of Get Your Ass Whupped Like A Chump."

"Nanny-nanny boo-boo is a free action."

 

Bu Ya (OOC) comments on another PC's precarious position: "No Black Could, I expect you to die!"

 

Bu Ya (OOC) comments on the fate of Silent Mountain's foe: "He so much doesn't die as explodes."

 

Wandering Vine (OOC) comments on the fate of his foe: "I gave him plenty of chances to not be killed by me."

 

Wandering Vine (OOC) comments on spending a slew of chi to temporarily up his combat stats: "It's fun to kill people the way you guys do."

 

Silent Mountain (OOC) comments on the result of his story arc: "I didn't get a magic ex-girlfriend weapon."

 

Bu Ya (OOC) comments on life: "With great Tao comes great responsibility."

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Al the wizard

: The problem with political jokes is that sometimes they get elected

Improvised miniatures to represent party transport

Murray, GM

: It's made out of cork and a bit of plywood. Therefore it's a hobbyhorse

 

Adrie the Druid

: I turn into a wolf.

Murray, GM

: What kind of wolf?

Rumbaba

: Airwolf. A helicopter would really surprise them.

 

Hope the Paladin

: You just called the goblin a gnome.

Murray, GM

: I did? Well, they're all the same to me - Short.

Rumbaba

: You know, a goblin could really develop a complex from all this

 

Murray, GM

: So you might be accosted by horny goats

Al OOC

: Well, then we

Dodge Ram

 

Murray, GM

: You charge in to attack the wolf. Which is when you discover that some of the Kobolds in the pile are still alive. They groan and cry out underfoot

Rumbaba

: Ooops. Sorry, sorry! Stab.

 

Murray, GM

: What's Insight of an Elf?

Al

: Guts.

 

Tarmikos

: Vicious Mockery on the non-blinded elf

Rumbaba OOC

: 'Ah, your momma wears army boots'

Tarmikos

:

*rolls 1*

Rumbaba OOC

: 'Ah, your momma wears.... things'

 

Rumbaba OOC

: I use the knife to pole-vault over the dog.

Murray, GM

: That'ld look good in the movie

Rumbaba OOC

: Nah, it wouldn't get past the ASPCA. "No riding dogs were harmed in the production of this film"

[Tim]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I ran one Pathfinder Society Senario and Played another. Only had a few good quotes

First senario:

Syrus (Alchemist): The Hut was already on fire when I got here!

 

 

Elven Ranger: Des anyone else speak Gnomish?

Cyrus (Cavalier): gNOme. (yes 2 people with close to the same name.)

 

(can't remember who when ambushed by snakes while trying to cross a rivver on a wooden bridge): Snakes on a Plank!

followed by all the derivative Snakes on a Plane jokes.

 

 

Second Session:

The GM was placing minis out to represent dead bodies. He pulled out two flaming skeleton minis.

ME: Kevin (alchemist's player), YOu've already been here!

 

Random: She's not supposed to have a dex. If she did, she'd be a hermaphrodite.

[Black Ops]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Al the wizard

: The problem with political jokes is that sometimes they get elected

Improvised miniatures to represent party transport

Murray' date=' GM[/b'] : It's made out of cork and a bit of plywood. Therefore it's a hobbyhorse

 

Adrie the Druid

: I turn into a wolf.

Murray, GM

: What kind of wolf?

Rumbaba

: Airwolf. A helicopter would really surprise them.

 

 

Hah ! I would love to see that!

(I would rep you; but......)

[Balabanto]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More Kasif silliness.

 

As the PC's enact their plan to deal with Kasif's shop, Luthius, the fighter, waits outside the back door, pretending to relieve himself. At this time, two of Kasif's bodyguards come strolling down the alley.

 

Bodyguard 1: You there! Who are you that dares to relieve yourself on the shop of my good friend, Kasif!

 

Luthius: I apologize, my good friend. I was not trying to relieve myself on the shop of your good friend, Kasif. I was going to relieve myself on the pavement nearby.

 

Bodyguard 2: You should leave. We have no time for such foolishness.

 

Luthius: Very well, I shall relieve myself on the shop next door, which is not the shop of your good friend Kasif.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A few weeks ago, I finally finished up my Champions S-Squad story arc that started with the players running NPC teen hereos, and then switched back to their normal characters. But I forgot to post the quotes from that session. Recap under the Spoiler tag if you need it.

 

 

A group of teens with superpowers found a long-abandoned (1950s) superhero base, which held a supervillain (Black Oak) in stasis. They also discovered that their high school janitor, Jason, is actually a robot and worked at the hidden base before he accidentally got locked out. Shortly after they explored the base, two imps (Mischief and Mayhem) popped in to release Black Oak from stasis. The teens fought Oak's summoned earth elementals, but the villain managed to escape. The teens called in S-Squad, who are somewhat taking the teen heroes under their wing but for now the adult heroes are looking to stop Black Oak and the imps from re-forming the Alliance of Evil, a 1950s-era supervillain team.

 

At the end of last session, Sentinel and Serendipity had flown to Europe but were too late to stop the imps from recruiting Gypsy back into the team. Subliminal questioned an incarcerated hero from the 50s team and learned that the only other live member of the Alliance, Mister Magnificent, is being held in stasis in a secret facility a mile or so from the South pole. Synergy and Styx went to Antarctica and discovered the facility also holds a mega-powerful mentalist, Mentallus. Knowing that the Alliance would eventually head there, they decided to move Mentallus (in his stasis tube) to their base so the imps wouldn’t free him in the middle of the battle.

 

A side note: The teens have a mystery mentor named The Shepherd, who apparently controls animals. Shepherd is actually Sarah Wells, the 14 year-old daughter of PC heroine Sentinel, though the players were initially unaware of this. Another side note: one of Shepherd's past actions was saving a classmate from getting kidnapped by siccing a pack of squirrels on the kidnappers. A new would-be hero, the Squirrel King, took credit for this, and Shepherd never came forward to refute his claim.

 

 

Part One

 

The heroes return to Chicago and investigate a local park where witnesses saw a light-and-sound show, followed by a huge flock of pigeons flying away. They discover the park now has two new statues – one of a cop, the other of local NPC mage Rubicon. Nearby are wagon tracks arriving from the east, then turning and departing to the south.

 

Styx (patting the statue of Rubicon on the shoulder): Lucky for you the pigeons all left.

 

They also find Rex, the dog adopted by Sentinel’s daughter Sarah. They’re considering whether he might actually be Black Oak the druid.

 

Subliminal: If he licks his balls and smiles, he might be a man.

 

Subliminal mentally contacts Rubicon to see if he knows how to reverse the magic.

 

Rubicon: You’ll have to go to my place and consult Tom [Rubicon’s intelligent magical tome]. I’ll walk you through getting past the wards, and then how to get Tom to answer your questions. (sigh) He’s never going to let me hear the end of this.

 

Rubicon also fills them in on what he saw before he was petrified.

 

Rubicon: I arrived invisible and saw Black Oak grab a squirrel. He said, “Well, it looks like we have a Borrower! You’ll come with me,” and cast a spell on the squirrel. Then Gypsy’s wagon arrived, and she and the imps got out. The imps detected me somehow and trashed my veil spell…

Subliminal: And that’s when you got stoned.

 

They call in PRIMUS to stand watch while they figure out how to reverse the petrification.

 

SSgt. “Mac” MacTaggart: You called us out here… for a couple of statues?! Usually, when you call it’s something big, like Gravitar, or Eurostar…

Serendipity: Well, we think the Squirrel King is involved.

“Mac”: Lass, you folks are really slipping. You need to get a better class of foes.

 

The heroes consult Tom the Tome, whom they discover doesn’t appear to like his owner/master.

 

Subliminal: Rubicon got himself turned into a statue…

Tom: (after a minute or so of gleeful laughter) …and you’re looking for a good pigeon summoning spell?

 

Tom: Ah, a druidic spell. There are several possible ways to reverse this. The first thing I’d suggest is dripping water on his head for the next hour.

Styx: Like Chinese water torture?

Tom: Exactly.

 

While they’re investigating this, a frantic Frank (Sentinel’s husband) calls to say that he can’t get their adopted 14 year-old daughter Sarah to wake up; she appears to be in some kind of coma.

 

Sentinel (to Subliminal): I’d better take you with me so you can get into her… mentally.

Subliminal: I’m glad you added that last word.

 

Going into Sarah’s head, Subliminal finds himself in Sarah’s room but with lots of cages with mice, rabbits, pigeons, etc. along with an insubstantial Sarah sitting on her bed, looking out the window. He also spots a thin thread leading from her hand, out the window, and far out of sight. From this, he surmises that Sarah is astral projecting. Seeing this through Subliminal’s Mind Link, Styx notes that the thread appears to be leading to the south, and they surmise that Sarah is linked to the squirrel that Black Oak took with him.

 

GM thought bubble: Has Sentinel guessed that her daughter is actually the Shepherd?

Sentinel: She must have just manifested powers and doesn’t know how to get back.

GM thought bubble: Nope! Not yet!

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Part Two

 

The heroes leave Frank and Rex to watch over Sarah, while PRIMUS is slowly restoring the cop and Rubicon to normal. Going suborbital, S-Squad gets to Antarctica ahead of Gypsy’s wagon with its Seven-League Wheels. They put an empty stasis tube in place of the one containing Mentallus that they removed.

 

Styx: Do we have a label maker, or at least some masking tape and a marker? I want to label that tube “Black Oak.”

 

The small secret Antarctic holding facility is in an ice cavern far below the surface. A few minutes after the heroes set up their ambush, Gypsy’s wagon arrives inside the cavern. Sentinel can see the squirrel hanging onto Black Oak, shivering like mad and trying to stay warm in the folds of his cloak. About the same time, Serendipity (inside the facility) hears a light “pop” followed by giggling near the stasis tubes.

 

Mischief: Oh, that’s a rich one, that is!

Mayhem: Go out and tell him he needs to come in here!

Mischief: No, you go! (whack!) Okay, fine, I’ll go.

 

Mischief pops back out.

Mischief: Oakey, ol’ buddy, there’s a problem, you need to go in there…

 

As soon as Black Oak moves away from Gypsy, Subliminal and Sentinel attack... Gypsy?!

 

GM: But Black Oak is the one holding the squirrel…

Subliminal: And if we take Gypsy out, Black Oak’s not going *anywhere* in the wagon.

 

After some irritating magic by Mischief, Subliminal decides to distract him for a while.

 

Subliminal (using Mind Control): Don’t you think it would be *hilarious* if that stasis tube got re-labeled “Black Oak + Gypsy”?

Mischief: Oh, that’s a good ’un! I like the way you think! (pops back into stasis room, magically summons a red magic marker, and adds “+ Gypsy” and some hearts to the label, giggling all the while)

Subliminal (OOC): I’m surprised that worked. I didn’t think I had enough effect.

GM: It’s something he’s inclined to do anyway. You probably didn’t even need to use Mind Control. Just suggesting it might have worked.

 

Sentinel snatches the squirrel away from Black Oak and flies away. She tucks the squirrel into a pocket, protected in her force field, and heads back into battle.

 

GM: The squirrel sees Black Oak and lets out a feral hiss. Then it sees Styx and hisses at him, too.

Styx: What did *I* do?!

Sentinel (to squirrel): Hey! He’s on our side!

 

The heroes win the day and lock Black Oak into the stasis tube. (Mischief and Mayhem escaped.) Deciding not to be cruel, they get another tube to lock Gypsy into. They decide to release the squirrel near Sarah’s home, with Subliminal invisibly making sure she gets home safely. Over Mind Link the heroes discuss Sarah’s situation.

 

Subliminal: Well, she’s not the only super-powered teen at that school.

GM thought bubble: Will Sentinel figure out that her daughter is actually the Shepherd?

Sentinel: I wonder if Sarah has been hanging around with any other teen supers. Maybe that’s how she got her powers.

Styx, Synergy, and Subliminal: (incredulous looks at Sentinel)

GM thought bubble: Nope! Still not yet!

 

Serendipity: Wait! Didn’t that Shepherd person use animals to deliver messages to those teens? You don’t think…

Sentinel: You mean… Sarah might be the Shepherd?!

GM thought bubble: FINALLY!!!!

 

The heroes discuss what Sentinel/Caren should do about her daughter – play dumb, confront her without revealing her own secret, or fess up.

 

Sentinel: But she’s been lying to me all this time!

Subliminal: Wait a minute – how often do *you* lie to *her*?

[teh bunneh]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Robert Dorf's pick-up of LUCHA LIBRA HERO

 

"Evil midgets."

 

"Amazingly, thanks to the logic of Mexican wrestling..."

 

"Your evil midget science cannot harm a technico who's heart is true."

 

Flashlight power-drainer thingy."

 

Monster + midgets = Mongets

 

"Watch out! Those midgets are more powerful than you think!"

"They'd have to be."

 

"They're going to form Mega-Midget!"

 

The GM attacks with two characters and both miss horribly: "This is what happens when we only get one take per scene."

 

"There are Tesla coils and Jacob's ladders missing from this display."

 

"You've stolen my power, but you haven't stolen my spirit."

 

"You drop to one knee to choke the midget."

 

 

Digging through some papers, I found the quotes I wrote down from Oddhat's Gencon Lucha Libre Hero game. The players were me (Supergran!), Susano (Caveman Cortez), and Xavier Onassis (Craneo Llameante).

 

Before the game...

Susano: I wish Nestor were here! He speaks Spanish.

Me: Nah, you don't want someone who speaks Spanish here while we butcher the language.

Susano: Trust me, Nestor can butcher the language with the best of them!

 

The GM is familiarizing us with the genre...

GM: Have you ever seen...

Xavier: (interrupting) It is safe to assume I've never seen a Mexican wrestling movie. Ever.

 

While at a wrestling match, Supergran notices a group of evil midgets up to no good in the rafters...

Supergran: They're up to something! I just know it!

GM: Supergran knows that evil midgets do not act for no reason.

 

Supergran attempts to climb a cable to get up into the rafters, but fails his Climbing roll...

GM: The cable is covered with midget grease.

Supergran: o.O ...Yeah, I'm gonna want to wash my hands after this. >.<

 

A folding chair has made it into the ring and Caveman Cortez is suffering the worst of it. Craneo Llameante jumps in the ring and disarms the evil rudo...

Craneo Llameante: This seat is taken!

 

In the middle of a fight...

GM: Craneo Llameante, it's your action. What are you doing?

Craneo: I'm complaining about how all Rudos are cheats.

GM: OK, you're grumbling. Moving on to the next character...

Craneo: Hang on! Grumbling is a 0-phase action!

 

Throughout the entire game...

GM: It is an established fact, determined by Mexican science, that...

 

After bowling down a swarm of evil midgets...

Supergran: I have to admit. Wrestling midgets is fun!

 

After winning a battle against a swarm of midgets...

Caveman Cortez: Were these super-powered midgets?

GM: No, they were normal midgets. Wait, scratch that, there's no such thing as "normal midgets." These were standard-issue midgets.

 

The evil mad scientist has kidnapped our heroes' nieces, and is using evil mad science to drain away their beauty!

GM: Phase 1! The machine hums. Supergran, your adopted niece has her beauty drained and grows a little less attractive. Craneo Llameante, your niece has her beauty drained and grows a little less attractive. Caveman Cortez, your neice has her beauty drained and ... nothing changes.

 

A super-powered midget bodyslams Supergran into the ground...

Midget: This is for midgets everywhere!

Supergran: Yes, it is true. I have abused your people terribly over the course of my career.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Digging through some papers, I found the quotes I wrote down from Oddhat's Gencon Lucha Libre Hero game. The players were me (Supergran!), Susano (Caveman Cortez), and Xavier Onassis (Craneo Llameante).

 

Before the game...

Susano: I wish Nestor were here! He speaks Spanish.

Me: Nah, you don't want someone who speaks Spanish here while we butcher the language.

Susano: Trust me, Nestor can butcher the language with the best of them!

 

The GM is familiarizing us with the genre...

GM: Have you ever seen...

Xavier: (interrupting) It is safe to assume I've never seen a Mexican wrestling movie. Ever.

 

While at a wrestling match, Supergran notices a group of evil midgets up to no good in the rafters...

Supergran: They're up to something! I just know it!

GM: Supergran knows that evil midgets do not act for no reason.

 

Supergran attempts to climb a cable to get up into the rafters, but fails his Climbing roll...

GM: The cable is covered with midget grease.

Supergran: o.O ...Yeah, I'm gonna want to wash my hands after this. >.<

 

A folding chair has made it into the ring and Caveman Cortez is suffering the worst of it. Craneo Llameante jumps in the ring and disarms the evil rudo...

Craneo Llameante: This seat is taken!

 

In the middle of a fight...

GM: Craneo Llameante, it's your action. What are you doing?

Craneo: I'm complaining about how all Rudos are cheats.

GM: OK, you're grumbling. Moving on to the next character...

Craneo: Hang on! Grumbling is a 0-phase action!

 

Throughout the entire game...

GM: It is an established fact, determined by Mexican science, that...

 

After bowling down a swarm of evil midgets...

Supergran: I have to admit. Wrestling midgets is fun!

 

After winning a battle against a swarm of midgets...

Caveman Cortez: Were these super-powered midgets?

GM: No, they were normal midgets. Wait, scratch that, there's no such thing as "normal midgets." These were standard-issue midgets.

 

The evil mad scientist has kidnapped our heroes' nieces, and is using evil mad science to drain away their beauty!

GM: Phase 1! The machine hums. Supergran, your adopted niece has her beauty drained and grows a little less attractive. Craneo Llameante, your niece has her beauty drained and grows a little less attractive. Caveman Cortez, your neice has her beauty drained and ... nothing changes.

 

A super-powered midget bodyslams Supergran into the ground...

Midget: This is for midgets everywhere!

Supergran: Yes, it is true. I have abused your people terribly over the course of my career.

 

And if you find this dialogue far too silly, then Luche Libra may be the RPG for you!

[matrix3]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Sounds like a great game!

 

The heroes discuss what Sentinel/Caren should do about her daughter – play dumb' date=' confront her without revealing her own secret, or fess up.[/quote']

 

I wonder...maybe Sarah already knows? She my have had a squirrel or other small animal tail her mom, or maybe an animal's enhanced senses can match Sentinel's scent to Caren's scent...

[Bengalelf]

From my Saturday night Champions group...

 

Flame: Fiery mutant. Like Firestar from Spidey and his amazing Friends.

Frontline: the token brick, wears a brown cape, mask and fedora. (makes me think of a brown Shadow)

 

I found this one while going back into my notes.

While they were fighting on Destruga and Dr. Destroyer showed up; the heroes scattered like roaches from the light.

 

Frontline: "You left me alone with Dr. Destroyer."

Flame: "Buy a movement power."

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Well, that was an exhausting weekend. Spent most of it on a Battlestar Galactica sim on Second Life, 'The Twelve Colonies'. Although it's rather fewer than twelve now, given they finally reached the point the miniseries launched from - the start of the Second Cylon War.

 

It was nice to finally get an opportunity to RP there at length, too, although I may have overdone things, given I was playing four different roles at once. Would have been five, but I was too busy playing a somewhat meta role in the tunnels under Illumini to switch to a Centurion skin and go gun down civilians. Not that I needed to in the end, since the existing Centurions did a perfectly adequate job by themselves. Especially after I lead some two dozen people into the middle of a Cylon crossfire.

 

Particularly satisfying - setting up that ambush, *everything* I said in the sim having an ulterior interpretation, and being the very last person rescued off the planet before the Battlestar Phœnix jumped out.

 

So at the moment my main character, a late-middle-aged accountant, is hanging around in the Phœnix sickbay, which led to some of the following OOC comments by me in the group chat.

 

Me :

At least Cylons can edit their own memories. That way they don't have to endure the sight of Edi in a backless hospital gown.

 

Other players

:

LMAO, shudders, etc.

 

Me :

Could be worse, though.

 

Other players

:

?

 

Me :

He could be wearing the gown backwards.

Another observation from the weekend

Me

:

Battlestar Galactica

&

Neon Genesis Evangelion

- two series where

everyone

is frakked in the head. Including the robots.

 

There's other similarities as well, of course. Both open with the near-extinction of humanity, both feature twisted religious fanaticism and even more twisted parental issues, and both humanity is very nearly wiped out completely by a skinjob.

[Drhoz]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Splitting the reward for finding the missing reporter, even if he has gone speechless and unresponsive

McGinty's Player

: $100?? Shouldn't I be getting $500?

Me, GM :

There's you, Rondale, Engeleins, Amy, & Lucy. Lancaster's a brain in a jar and the Reverend is a vegetable. 500, split five ways, 100 each.

McGinty's Player

: Fine then. At least I've got a brain in a jar.

McGinty denies involvement in the Reverend's curious fate.

McGinty

: Hey, you drank the weedkiller willingly! I just stood there and thought this was a bad idea.

Rev. Joe's player

: Gee, whatever gave you that idea?

Pvt. Rondale

: Was it the

frothing at the mouth?

 

McGinty

: If I gave Lucy the keys I'd be walking through the woods & hear a crash crash crash and the next moment there'd be a truck parked on top of me.

Rev. Joe OOC

: 'If you don't like my driving stay out of the trees.'

GMing as Amy in ratfan's absence.

Me, GM :

Amy is pointing in horror at the stretcher and Lancaster's hollowed-out head.

McGinty

: Don't worry, he's a keeper. I can rebuild him, faster, stronger...

Me as Lancaster's Brain

: Don't. Worry. I'll be. F-

McGinty

: Oh no you don't - click

*unplugs the braincase speaker*

Don't you worry about that was just -

Pvt. Rondale

: Click

*plugs speakers back in*

McGinty

: click

*unplugs them again*

Pvt. Rondale

: Click

*plugs speakers back in*

Lancaster's Brain

: Please. Stop. Turning. Me. O-

McGinty

: Click

*unplugs them again*

What the fook are you doing? Do you WANT her to go more insane?

 

Pvt. Rondal

e : Amy, could you make sure Lancaster's body doesn't decay in the meantime?

McGinty

: Don't worry about it, I've got a freezer-drawer at home. Amy, don't you worry, I'll have him back on his feet in no time. In a month, if you don't see him walking around as happy as Larry you can hold me entirely responsible.

GM as Amy

: D:

 

Me, GM

: Amy is recoiling from the corpse.

McGinty

: I throw a tarpaulin over the corpse. Both of them. Well, all three. But I leave the Reverend's head out so he can breath

 

Reverend's player

: My dad wanted to name me Peregrine. Peregrine Xavier Lancaster.

Pvt. Rondale

: Why, did he hate you?

 

McGinty

: The big two story place at the end of the street! All locked up! He's in there.

ONI Agent Landing

: Eleven years in the future.

McGinty

: ... Yeah.

Pvt. Rondale

: Apparently our actions lead to the end of the world.

ONI Agent Landing

: You've done what???!?!

McGinty

: Now why did you tell him that, ya gobshite?

 

McGinty

: Oh, and Buckingham Palace catches fire

*looks innocent*

Players start arguing about ontological paradoxes. I summarise.

Me, GM

: The people that write the letters won't do so until the events of eleven years from now, when they get transferred back millions of years ago, and write the letters, which wait until they're found forty years ago, and now wait to be found by you, eleven years from now.

Rondale's player to the microphone

: Is everyone at home keeping up? There'll be a quiz!

Recalling names from the future they can verify now.

McGinty

: There's that crazy postman we ran into. He knows about the letters!

Me, GM

: William Shakespeare?

McGinty

: Yeah, him... Oh.

 

McGinty

: Well, obviously this Elias person does something stupid and ends the world.

ONI Agent Landing

: I thought *you* ended the world?

McGinty

: Hey, I do a lot of stupid things, but none of them have ended the world.

Having dealt with these claims, their second-guessing, and McGinty, for over an hour, Landing goes off to have a migraine. After dispatching the group to investigate a mysteriously bisected corpse that turned up in a small college town - a cause of death alarmingly similar to one they encountered in Innsmouth. McGinty takes the precaution of handing round ample supplies of dragon's breath shotgun shells.

McGinty

: Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

 

McGinty

: That was The Boss.

Pvt. Rondale

: You have a boss?

McGinty

: Yeah, everybody's got a boss. Don't you have a boss?

Pvt. Rondale

: You're my boss, technically

McGinty

: Well, I've gotta boss too.

Pvt. Rondale

: So who is he, this boss?

McGinty

: He's... an entrepreneur.

Pvt. Rondale

: Ah, mobster

McGinty

: Now you shut your dirty mouth!

Me, GM

: He's a 'respectable Irish-American businessman'

McGinty

: He never gets his hands dirty. That's my job.

Complaining about Sanity rewards from last session.

McGinty's player

: Is that all???

Me, GM

: *sarcastically* You wanted more for burning down Buckingham Palace?

McGinty's player

: I should get 100 san for that. Every true Irishman wants to burn Buckingham Palace

 

New Player, about McGinty's player

: *

knowingly

* Oh, don't worry, I know all about him

McGinty's player

: Hey jive-turkey, you be sassin'

 

Me, GM

: So what are you going to do with the Reverend Vegetable?

McGinty

: Stick him in a chair with a straw and some alcohol

Me, GM

: You could always install him in the Clue Factory

McGinty

: No.

NO

. Putting somebody in an asylum who's totally fooking brain-dead is fooking barbaric. We'll get him to a nunnery.

Reverend Joe OOC

: Ooh yeah.

McGinty

: They know how to look after priests there.

Reverend Joe OOC

: Ooh yeah.

McGinty

: A nunnery. Or a cannery.

Rondale

: Already happened to Lancaster.

McGinty

: So I'll take him to a nice Protestant nunnery.

Rondale

: A

Protestant nunnery???

McGinty & Co spend a frankly insane amount of money to ensure the Reverend gets the best of care.

McGinty

: We'll plant Reverend Vegetable in the Cabbage Patch, and go get s***-faced. If he ever snaps out of it he'll be getting a sponge bath. And that's the way I'd want to wake up!

Another accent for the party.

Dr Heinrich August von Habsburg

: I am from Austria.

Me, GM

: *

muttering

* Isn't that where the kangaroos come from?

Dr von Habsburg OOC

: I am from Austria. G'day, mate

McGinty

: Isn't that where the English sent all them criminals?

Dr. von Habsburg

: ... nein?

McGinty

: I'm pretty sure it was a fooking sight more than nine.

 

Rondale

: How familiar are you with Innsmouth?

New Player's Innmouth Veteran

: Intimately. I was there on the front line

Rondale

: Do you know

why

we were there? What we were fighting?

New Player's Innmouth Veteran

: Fishmen

McGinty's player

: But we didn't see any in that scene.

New Player

: Yes we did.

McGinty's player

: No we didn't.

New Player

: Yes we did!

McGinty's player

: No we didn't!

New Player

: Yes we did!

McGinty's player

: No we didn't!

New Player

: Yes!

McGinty's player

: No!

New Player

: Yes!

McGinty's player

: No!

Rondale's player to microphone

: Grown men, ladies and gentlemen.

 

Rondale's player

: Pass me a pencil?

Dr Habsburg's player

: I've got two... 2B... and not 2B

McGinty is showing off the hopefully late cultist's lab to the Doctor, as part of his efforts to convince him to continue the cultist's research into magical microsurgery. This includes the ramp McGinty's built into the stairs so he can transport barrowloads of dirt up from the secret tunnel and out to the yard. And certain other improvements.

McGinty

: ... and over there is the freezer where he kept the body parts and over there is 'is operating table and over there is me still.

Finally en route to Charing Cross, taking the Doctor along for his medical expertise, and the new guy for the extra iron. ( The players don't seem to have realised yet why I'm generally happy to let them have as much firepower as they can carry. One day, one day....)

Dr. von Habsburg

: My cousin Otto is Crown Prince of Austria

McGinty

: Can I say something?

Dr. von Habsburg

: Ja?

McGinty

: You're a fooking nonce.

Rondale

: *

headdesk

* Are we there yet?

[Balabanto]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The heroes of Millennium Guard are stymied by how Toby, one of the villains of Imaginary Friends, talks to Mr. Wumbles, his imaginary serial killer rabbit friend. Finally, spotting one of those old toy plastic phones in the corner, heroes with mental defense see the plastic phone ring. Magus answers it.

 

Mr. Wumbles: Hello.

 

Magus: Toby's Pizza.

 

Mr. Wumbles: Who is this?

 

Magus: I wish I could put this on speaker.

 

Chameleon: It's an imaginary phone! Just IMAGINE it.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hyperdrive: Our Minds Might Be in Danger

 

Gibraltar: I don’t have a mind. I’m safe.

 

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Toby: Mr. Wumbles will kill you before he kills me. He’ll hack through all of you to get to me.

 

Chameleon: Who says we’ll stand in his way?

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hyperdrive: Partacel, why didn't you arrest him?

 

Partacel: I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't arrest him after he telepathically assaulted me. First off, he didn't succeed. He didn't even get in. Second, the problems with arresting a five year old are numerous. Third, we don't want someone in the government who might be less scrupulous than us getting their hands on him.

 

Hyperdrive: He's not a child, Partacel. He's a monster! A monster! (Storms out of the room, slamming the door.)

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Okay, now up to date and can add quotes from last Sunday.

 

Part One

 

Caren fesses up to Sarah that she's really Sentinel.

 

Sarah: Yeah, right, Mom...

Sentinel: I really am. (turns out light and activates her force field, which glows) See?

Sarah (to Frank): You just used some glow-in-the-dark paint or something, didn't you?

Frank: Nope. Why do you think I'm glued to the TV any time there's news about S-Squad's battles?

Sarah: I just thought you were checking out Serendipity.

Frank: (mumbles) That too. (louder) But mainly I wanted to make sure your mom was okay.

 

Sarah: So... since I took the name Shepherd, that means I can join S-Squad!

Sentinel: I don't think so, young lady!

Sarah: But Mom... every team needs a mascot!

 

Sarah: So I guess the only question I have left is... when do I get to go into space?

Subliminal (OOC): Hey, didn't you promise you were going to take Frank up to orbit in our spaceship?

Sentinel (OOC): Yeah, for a honeymoon. But I'm not taking Sarah along on *that*!

Subliminal (OOC): To heck with the Mile High Club. She wants to join the 300 Mile High Club!

 

S-Squad hears about the crash of a PRIMUS prisoner transport in the Rocky Mountains. In addition to the 5-man crew and three prisoners (Mechassassin, Goldbrick, and Goldrush), there were two heroes riding shotgun from the Portland Crusaders: Eternus (a regenerating immortal) and Golden Knight (a tech-armored college student). Of note, Subliminal is also an immortal and has run into Eternus a few times over the past millennia.

 

Serendipity: Did anybody die in the crash?

GM: The news reports that the entire five-man crew of the transport was killed, as was Mechassassin. Also killed in the crash was the superhero Eternus.

Subliminal: Don't worry. He'll be back.

 

The heroes go to the crash site and help with either the recovery of flight recorders or the search for an escaped Goldbrick. Subliminal sees the body of Eternus, covered by a blanket, and establishes a telepathic link.

 

Eternus: OW!! OW!! OW!!

Subliminal: Hey, Eternus. It's been a while. Sentinel wants to know if you'd like some healing, or is that going to interfere with your regeneration ability?

Eternus: Anything that stops the pain! OW!! OW!!

 

After Sentinel heals Eternus' injuries, a woman appears nearby. She is i, the mentalist for the Crusaders.

 

i: Thank you. I was getting tired of listening to him whine.

 

Subliminal notices that she is mind-reading the PRIMUS agents and FAA investigators rather indiscriminately. Then she does the same to Styx...

 

Subliminal (through his Mind Link to Styx, to i): You know, it's not polite to do that.

i: Oh, you're one of *those* type of mentalists. I'm just doing my thing my way.

Styx (cracks his knuckles and looks menacing): And I'll just do things *my* way.

i: Whatever... (drops telepathic link)

 

The rear 1/3 of the transport is lying on its side a bit away from the rest of the wreckage, in (relatively) good shape, and the PRIMUS agents are removing the Hot Sleep tube containing Goldrush.

 

Styx: It's still working?!

PRIMUS agent: Sure, but on emergency batteries. Internal power kinda died when the hoverjets sheared off.

 

Going over the recovered flight and data recorders...

 

PRIMUS agent: As you can see, we save the video feed from all internal cameras, status on prisoner restraints, as well as the BP, EKG, and so on for both Hot Sleep tubes.

Subliminal: Wait... there was only one Hot Sleep tube in operation, wasn't there? So why are there two readouts?

Agent (flips through manifest): According to this, there was only one! Warden Kowalski is going to want to know about this.

Subliminal: He’s not the only one.

 

Synergy takes flight to join the search for the escaped Goldbrick, and sees Force bounding (superleaping) above the trees.

 

Force: (leap) Hey, Synergy, isn’t it? (leap) You’re helping us… (leap) …search for Goldbrick?

Synergy (on Force’s next leap, Synergy grabs him by the collar) Is that better?

Force: Yeah, thanks.

 

Talking to Stronghold West, the heroes eventually find out that the “Mechassassin” who died in the crash is actually a PRIMUS agent, and the real Mechassassin escaped. And the person in the second Hot Sleep tube was…

 

Warden Kowalski: Alpha, the leader of PSI. He was being transferred to Stronghold East.

Serendipity: Isn’t he the one that steals psionic powers?

GM: He doesn’t steal them, he’s a psionic mimic. He can reproduce the power of any mentalist nearby.

Serendipity: So he can mimic *my* powers?

GM: Only the ones with psionic effects.

Serendipity: And Subliminals or i’s powers? Like her invisibility? Alpha could be standing here *right now*.

GM: (evil grin) Maaaaybe.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Part Two

 

But of course, Alpha and Mechassassin were long gone. The heroes return to Chicago to deal with some more mundane stuff, like a drive-by shooting. Styx stops the car and captures the two men inside, and the cop car chasing the gunmen pulls up.

 

Cop: Thanks for stopping them, Styx.

Styx: No problem. They hit a kid about six blocks back; Subliminal took him to the hospital. What do you want me to do with these guys?

Cop (grinning nastily): Could you keep an eye on them for a minute while my partner and I question these witnesses over here? Out of earshot?

Styx: Sure.

Cop (walking away): Don’t forget to read them their rights!

Styx: (to the gunman) You have the right to pain. You have the right to bleed.

 

A few weeks after the crash of the prisoner transport, Serendipity (in SID) is on a date when she gets a call on her “super” cell phone. She recognizes the number as US Army Capt. Ken Steiner, a friend of hers at the Rock Island Arsenal where the heroes have their spaceship parked.

 

Serendipity: Hi, Ken! What’s up?

Capt. Steiner: (sounds of battle in background) We’re under attack here! I think they’re trying to get to the Saber!

Serendipity: Okay! We’re on our way! (hangs up)

GM (OOC): So, you didn’t have any questions for him? Like, who is attacking?

Serendipity: Oh! (dials) Hey, Ken, how’s it going? Who are you fighting, by the way?

 

The attackers are members of the Brute Squad – Bulldozer, Tremor, Blue Cyclone, Lazer, and Ripper. (The heroes don’t know at first that Esper and Shrinker are there as well.) The Army is slowing them down with troops and tanks, but it’s a losing battle. As the heroes leave for Rock Island, Sentinel’s player begins giving the GM a nice backscratching.

 

Sentinel (OOC whispering): We will survive… we will bring everyone home… we will get extra experience points…

 

Tremor grabs Styx to immobilize him.

 

Styx: Hate to tell you this, but I’m not into bro-mance.

 

My players think taunting Bulldozer can be worlds of fun.

 

Styx: You’re so tiny, even Shrinker can go down on you.

 

After Tremor gets KO’d, Bulldozer gets the job grabbing Styx.

 

Styx: What is it with you guys and bro-mance?! I like girls, Bulldozer.

 

While Sentinel is trying to sneak-attack Esper, she is herself sneak-attacked and KO’d by Shrinker. And then, the next phase, Shrinker blasts her again, doing 2x STUN and sending Sentinel into GM-Discretion-Land. (This is something the PCs do constantly to the villains but I don’t often do.)

 

Serendipity: That’s not fair!!!

GM: It’s not? You guys do that all the time!

Serendipity: But… not immediately!

GM: Yes! You! Do!

 

GM mental note: Do this again, and have the player of the KO’d character run one of the villains. Should be fun.