Koshka Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 A friend of mine came up with this list for my birthday card, I thought the other cat people on the boards would enjoy it as well. Playtesting Champions With Cats 1) Prepare adventure. 2) Arrive at house of friends who own cats. 3) Strategically place self in front of front door so cats do not seize opportunity to escape. 4) Enter house. 5) Proceed to game table, which is covered with various and sundry items. 6) Remove various and sundry items from game table. 7) Remove cats from table. 8) Find battle mat and unroll onto table. 9) Remove cats from battle mat. 10) Draw map on battle mat, running pen over toes and tails of cats. 11) Address cats by name, pick up, swat, and remove to another room. 12) Return to game table to find cats on top of it once again. 13) Admit players, instructing them to block the doorway to prevent the cats from leaving. 14) Set out figurines for players' characters. 15) Remove cats from table again while chiding them for chewing on figurines. 16) Set out dice, dropping several on floor for cats to bat around with their forepaws. 17) Retrieve spilled dice from floor and lock cats in bathroom. 18) Narrate the opening of the adventure to players over caterwauling from bathroom. 19) Release cats from bathroom. 20) Resume narrating adventure, keeping delivery as boring as possible to keep players' bodies near the backs of their seats so that cats cannot wedge in behind them. (Cats will instead walk across players' laps and jump off their backs onto adjacent curio cabinets.) 21) Ask players what their next moves are. (Before players can make their moves, cats will jump on table again.) 22) Move to combat earlier than planned by bringing out Doctor Destroyer to put players into GM's option so they can deal with cats. 23) Get cup of tea. 24) Sit back in chair with cup of tea. 25) Cuddle cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebuchet Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Heh. That's almost too true to be funny. I've got five of 'em, which is one reason I never game at my apartment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanaci Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats LOL!!! Toooooo funny. And that can be said of any gaming system, provided there are cats around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats And now you know why I own lizards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats repped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thia Halmades Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats This is why we don't play at my house. Repped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRavenIs Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats A friend of mine came up with this list for my birthday card, I thought the other cat people on the boards would enjoy it as well. Playtesting Champions With Cats 1) Prepare adventure. 2) Arrive at house of friends who own cats. 3) Strategically place self in front of front door so cats do not seize opportunity to escape. 4) Enter house. 5) Proceed to game table, which is covered with various and sundry items. 6) Remove various and sundry items from game table. 7) Remove cats from table. 8) Find battle mat and unroll onto table. 9) Remove cats from battle mat. 10) Draw map on battle mat, running pen over toes and tails of cats. 11) Address cats by name, pick up, swat, and remove to another room. 12) Return to game table to find cats on top of it once again. 13) Admit players, instructing them to block the doorway to prevent the cats from leaving. 14) Set out figurines for players' characters. 15) Remove cats from table again while chiding them for chewing on figurines. 16) Set out dice, dropping several on floor for cats to bat around with their forepaws. 17) Retrieve spilled dice from floor and lock cats in bathroom. 18) Narrate the opening of the adventure to players over caterwauling from bathroom. 19) Release cats from bathroom. 20) Resume narrating adventure, keeping delivery as boring as possible to keep players' bodies near the backs of their seats so that cats cannot wedge in behind them. (Cats will instead walk across players' laps and jump off their backs onto adjacent curio cabinets.) 21) Ask players what their next moves are. (Before players can make their moves, cats will jump on table again.) 22) Move to combat earlier than planned by bringing out Doctor Destroyer to put players into GM's option so they can deal with cats. 23) Get cup of tea. 24) Sit back in chair with cup of tea. 25) Cuddle cats. I know the feeling. I play at friends house that has three cat's, and one dog. It can be as bad as written above or much better. REPPED!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithcurtis Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats 2b. Arm all players and GM with squirt bottles and shake-cans. Keith "Won't do anything about the caterwauling, though, especially if you have Siamese" Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats I wonder what the Freedom Kittens are planning for our next game. I put sticky tape on my table and they have stopped jumping on it. I hope when I remove it they will stay stopped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxiekins Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats And now you know why I own lizards. How do you get the lizards off the table, then...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats How do you get the lizards off the table' date=' then...?[/quote'] Feed him cats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxiekins Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Feed him cats So is it one of those things where you hold out the juicy kitty, saying "Here Lizard, here Lizard, nice crunchy" while holding it out so he HAS to get off the table to get the crunchy kitty goodness...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats The Blue Tongued Skink won't go after live prey... very lazy lizard. Lettuce doesn't fight back either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arac-4105 Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats ...can't...resist.... >.< "So you're evil, eh? Eat This Kitten!" Bwa-hahahahahaha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats It is easy to get them from jumping on table. Make them so fat, they cant jump. Seriously, my late cat used to like waiting till I was reading something, and then plop on top of it. I would remove him and put him on floor. If he really wanted the attention (almost always), he would look at me like I was stupid and proceed to do same as before. Usually I was sitting in the old recliner, so I would pull him off to my side and pet him while reading. (Made turning the pages difficult but compromises had to be made ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weldun Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Hmm. You need to train those cats. Or only game with people who like having cats curl up in their lap and can pet them on automatic with their off hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodstone Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Due to allergies, I have never had to deal with these... disruptions... So instead I have children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weldun Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Ah, children. Much more difficult to train. And when you pet them, people look at you funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats I've long known that in the cat world, happiness is a nice warm character sheet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats We game often at our place, and have two cats. One of those two is afraid of strange people (and gamers are all strange as hell ) so he hides under the bed for the duration. The second tends to come down about 11PM and ***** at us that it's bedtime, or failing that, time to bribe cats with food, after which he retires for the evening. We've never had a probem with cats on the gaming table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Thanks, Koshka, I have two of the little furry troublemakers in my house, and that was 100% true! As for sticky tape: we tried it to keep the cat from scratching up our La-Z-Boy chair, and she decided the sticky tape was REALLY COOL and an AWESOME TOY and to play with it she just HAD TO SCRATCH THE CHAIR EVEN MORE!!! Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkham Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats And that is why man invented squirt bottles... Very helpful for keeping cats off the table. Not helpful in keeping toddlers off of the table. They like it. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanaci Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats If I wasn't so incredibly allergic to cat's... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Bwaha. That's awesome. But you forgot the part where the kitty bats all the dice onto the floor. We used to watch our cat do that, bemused, then check to see what he rolled when it fell. He always rolled better than I did . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenAge Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Re: Playtesting Champions With Cats Y'know... Those squirt bottles work on kids too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.